kscans

“The target this time is a bunch of perverts.”

When I announced that, Rika-chan tilted her head with a puzzled look, while Hikaru-kun’s face resembled that of a cat doing the Flehmen response.

“Alright, let’s head to the scene.”

“W-W-W-Wait! Huh!? Satou-san! Explanation! Explanation! What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“…A hundred words don’t match one look. You’ll get it when you see it.”

Not giving a proper rundown of the mission beforehand isn’t exactly the best practice. A decent mentor would’ve laid it all out clearly. But this time, I’m here. With me around, nothing too wild’s gonna happen. So, to really hammer it home, it’s better to let them feel the shock of seeing it firsthand.

(I didn’t really care when it was my turn, though.)

Guess it’s a personality thing. The one experiencing it versus the one making them experience it. Adults and kids. Perspective shifts so much depending on where you’re standing…

“Both of you ready?”

“All good~”

“…Y-Yeah, I guess.”

Rika-chan’s got some guts, huh? Chika-san’s the serious type, but Rika-chan doesn’t seem to overthink stuff.

“Let’s go.”

I grabbed the two of them and teleported us to a certain mountain in Saitama Prefecture.

“We’re walking a bit.”

“Got it.”

“Y-Yes!”

I could’ve jumped us straight to the base, but I figured a short walk would give them time to brace themselves. And sure enough, after about ten minutes trudging through the dark mountain, Hikari-kun seemed to settle down. Finally, we reached the spot.

“Uncle? There’s nothing here.”

“Oh, there is.”

I stubbed out my cigarette in the ashtray and blew out a huge cloud of smoke. It spread out with force, blasting away the camouflage, and BAM! A Western-style mansion popped up where there’d been nothing before.

“Ask your instructor about this kind of camouflage later. Alright, here we go.”

I kicked the door down and yelled,

“We’re here to inspect!!!!”

Suddenly, people started crawling out of every corner of the mansion like ants. A quick headcount… whoa, about fifty of them. To gather that much support… I mean, I get the appeal, but still…

“T-That’s… Satou, the hero!?”

“Even if they found us, why’s a guy like him here…?”

“L-L-Leader!!”

Seeing my face, over 70% of them freaked out. The other 30% didn’t even blink. Judging by their vibe and strength, that 30% gotta be the execs and the boss.

“Calm down, everyone. Yes, he’s a terrifying man alright.”

A sharp-dressed guy standing on the staircase landing spoke up. Probably the leader. But… he’s around my age? And pretty handsome, too. Seriously, dude…

‘Humanity’s Strongest,’ ‘Earth’s Final Line of Defense,’ ‘Personification of Nuclear Power,’ ‘The Jormungandr of Umeda.’ His real strength makes those fancy nicknames sound like understatements.”

The Jormungandr of Umeda? Nope, wrong. That one came from when I was on a business trip in Osaka, chugging booze like a monster in Umeda. Some underworlder saw me and slapped that name on. It’s about me being a heavyweight drinker, not my strength.

“—But so what?”

The panic started to fade. …Oh yeah, this takes me back. These types always have some weird charisma.

“You gonna bend just because he’s strong? You gonna ditch the light we follow just ’cause some tough guy shows up?”

Man, that’s cool.

“Don’t make me laugh. Human dignity doesn’t bow to raw power.”

I almost grabbed a tallboy beer on reflex but stopped myself. I’m not solo this time. I’ve got these kids to look after, so no escaping into booze.

“Besides, is Satou the one we should be eyeing right now? Sure, if he were a woman, he’d have insane potential, but he’s a dude.”

“…”

“What we should be looking at is that girl over there.”

“Huh? Me?”

Whoosh! Every eye in the place turned to Rika-chan, making her flinch a little.

“…She’s got it.”

“I sense serious potential.”

“But that’s exactly why it’s a shame.”

“Yeah. She’s got no flair.”

“What’re you saying? Isn’t it our job to teach her and shape her up?”

Rika-chan? They’re not praising you, y’know. Well, to them it’s praise… Wait!

“Uncle!?”

“Satou-san!!”

The leader fired a beam out of nowhere. It was aimed at Rika-chan, but I stepped in and took it on purpose.

“I’m fine. No damage.”

“O-Okay… Wait, huh!? Old man, your hair’s blonde now!?”

“…Caught me off guard, huh? Hair-dye magic… If it’d hit, that girl would’ve ended up with gorgeous blonde locks.”

“Even our fastest hair-dye magic got blocked that easily.”

“At this rate, the Makeup Beam and Tanning Ray won’t land either.”

“Wait, wait, wait! What’re you trying to tan!? Shouldn’t it be the Whitening Ray!!”

Oh… they’re not all on the same page, huh. Even if they’ve got the same goal, the details split them up. Me? I think both are fine.

“Hair-dye? Makeup? Tanning? Whitening? S-Satou-san… what are those people…?”

“…Like you’re seeing, they’re an organization. Let me tell you their name.”

I let out a sigh and said,

“—They’re the ‘Society for Creating Gyaru Friendly to Otaku.’”

“”Huh?””

“The Society for Creating Gyaru Friendly to Otaku.”

“No, I heard you! What’re you talking about…?”

“There are folks in the underworld who use supernatural powers for evil. These guys are one flavor of that.”

You’ve got the obvious bad guys—raking in dirty cash, killing people, snatching women. But these dudes are a different breed. Perverts using their powers for dumb stuff to feed their fetishes. And the annoying thing is, you take one out, another pops up. Compared to the hardcore villains, they’re small-time… no, calling them small-time insults small-timers. Still, they’re a pain, and it’s the Mutual Aid Society’s job to clean them up without bugging the normies.

“Hey, you there, young lady. How about becoming a gyaru?”

“Stop recruiting.”

“If you do, you could save tons of shy boys as a gyaru who’s kind to otakus.”

Man, they don’t listen… I mean, I love geeking out over fetishes too, but forcing it on people? Nah. It’s fun enough shooting the breeze with like-minded buddies.

“So, what do you say? Let’s hear your answer.”

“…Uncle.”

“Ignore him. Alright, I’ll take the tough ones. You two handle the rest.”

“Yeah… Ugh, I’ve got zero motivation for this.”

“Well, let’s do our best.”

I rolled my shoulders and stepped forward.

“Hey, before we start, can I say something?”

“What?”

“You guys are missing the point. Gyarus who are kind to otakus? Sure, they exist.”

But,

“They’re not just kind to otakus. They’re kind to everyone, including otakus.”

For a split second, time froze.

Then they snapped out of it.

“—Saying that means war!!!!”

“Kill himmmmmmmmm!!!!”

And so, the battle began.

t/n: what are gyaru??? just google ganguro girl flash game.