kscans

I may be connected to the underworld, but I have no intention of neglecting my life in the real world. I made it clear to the government and the influential figures in the underworld. So, what do I do when an urgent matter comes up? Well, there’s a dummy company that was created by the important people, and they have a connection with my company. That’s how I end up going on business trips related to that. Why am I talking about this? Well, it’s because I’m currently in the middle of a business trip, which is basically just cleaning up their mess.

“Prepare yourself, Desecrator of Destiny. This time, I shall bestow upon you eternal silence.”

A skull wearing a crown that must be several meters long is glaring at me. It’s wearing a fluttering black coat and carrying a menacing scythe. I haven’t seen it in almost five years, but its design is still as recognizable as ever.

“Do you never learn, Hades? It’s not a laughing matter when the God of Death* keeps dying.” (t/n: term is shinigami, but hades is a god name, not a regular grim reaper)

I laugh at it, and black miasma leaks out from its eye sockets and mouth. The surrounding plants turn to dust and the earth withers, but it doesn’t affect me. The first time I encountered it, it was quite dangerous, considering its effectiveness against life. But in the end, I managed to overcome it somehow. So now, it’s just a foul breath to me. It reminds me of the smell of a storage room filled with old books that haven’t been cleaned for a long time.

“What arrogance! What disrespect! Your continued disregard for death will never be forgiven!!”

“What are you talking about? Don’t get it twisted. It’s not death that I’m disrespecting, it’s you.”

I say, chewing on a piece of dried squid. In one hand, I hold the squid, and in the other, my fifth can of beer for the day. I’m wearing a tie on my head. There’s no tension or anything, but it can’t be helped. I have to say, I’m weaker than the darkness I fought against a month ago in terms of direct violence. Well, in return, this guy has the absolute authority over life, which is called “death,” but it doesn’t affect me.

“By the way… gulp… before we get started… nom… I have a question.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full! It’s a matter of disrespect before anything else!”

This Hades is serious in strange ways. I ignore it and continue.

“It’s your freedom to do whatever you want, but… why do it while I’m still alive?”

Hades may dislike me, but it has a different main goal. There’s no point in clashing with me, who has tasted dirt countless times, if it wants to achieve that goal.

“I’ll be dead in a hundred years anyway. Isn’t it better to pretend to be friendly until then?”

Put the greater cause before personal feelings. If that’s the case, I didn’t need to go on this business trip…

“If I overlook your existence, the greater cause loses its weight. I must kill you to move forward!!”

“Heh… I see. Let’s get this over with quickly then. Come at me.”

I crush the beer can in my hand and throw it away. I’m starting to feel a good buzz. Maybe I’ll go to a brothel after this to clear my head.

“You dare to mock me…?! But I wonder how long you can keep up that attitude!?”

Hades claps its hands together. In an instant, a dazzling mandala appears in the sky. (t/n: just so you know, mandala is that geometric pattern that appear whenever magic is casted in light novel)

“What is this…?”

It feels like my soul is being directly touched.

“The god who governs death has absolute authority over life. But what happens when two gods of death clash?”

Hades sneers as its bones rattle.

“It’s a battle of dominion. If you wield your authority under the jurisdiction of another god, the authority of the one who rules that jurisdiction takes precedence.”

“You…!”

“That’s right! I took it from you! The authority of Yama!!”

Hades, who was in a good mood, continues with anger now.

“You shouldn’t be able to die! I shouldn’t be able to kill you! Because another god of death stands behind you!! Yama, too, cannot forgive someone like you, who disrespects the god of death…!” (t/n: as hades is a western god of death, yama is the lord of death for hindu and buddhist. in dragon ball, he was chichi’s father)

“Hmph!”

I put all my strength into it, blowing away the death that was entwined around me.

“Are you saying that the King of Yama is on my side? What a joke.”

The King of Yama is the one who delivers fair judgment to the dead. A person… no, a god like that wouldn’t take sides with a single individual, especially a living one. If the King of Yama intervened during someone’s lifetime, they wouldn’t be able to deliver fair judgment after death. The fact that they took sides before death becomes noise.

“Don’t compare your actions, which have messed up countless lives, with the actions of the King of Yama.”

Wait, did this guy attack the King of Yama…? It’s true that it has inherited the authority of death, but it’s not a god of death.

(I can’t let it get away with this.)

I crack my neck. There’s nothing wrong with my body. I played my strongest card from the beginning, so there shouldn’t be anything more… Let’s finish this.

“Gah!?”

I close the distance in an instant and place my hand on Hades’ head, pushing it down to the ground. I keep it pressed against the ground as I speak.

“Orders from above. You will be completely erased.”

Hades is a heavyweight in Olympus. That’s why, until now, there hasn’t been anything more than subjugation. Both sides, humans and Olympus, have avoided getting involved with each other. But there are limits to everything. The gods still have significant influence, but not as much as in ancient times. Just as humans don’t want to get into trouble, Olympus doesn’t want a full-scale war either.

“You can no longer be protected.”

Honestly, I don’t like Hades, but I don’t hate him enough to want him completely eliminated. Well, it’s not that I don’t hate him, but I don’t think he’s worth directing that much energy towards. However, the people who requested my help want Hades completely eradicated. They apparently threatened to drop me if Olympus didn’t accept it. Am I some kind of nuclear weapon?

“Ridiculous! Erase the one who governs death, me!? Impossible!!”

That’s right, that’s the point. Olympus said they would accept it if he was completely eradicated. They must think he’ll just pop up somewhere even if he’s killed. So, I was asked by important people to find a way to completely erase him… I thought about it.

“It’s possible. Maybe.”

A white light rises from my body.

“If I collide opposing forces, maybe, just maybe…”

I pour “life” through the hand touching Hades. It’s an idea that anyone could come up with. Someone must have tried it in the past. In fact, the person who tried it is still being killed from the moment they poured it in. However, however…

“Agagagagagagaga…!?!!!”

――――There must be a limit, right? Somewhere, there must be a point where it reaches its limit. If I pour it in that much, maybe something will happen. My assumption was correct, and after a sufficient amount of time, that moment arrived.

“You… you… you… youuuuu! You heretic! You will surely be judged…!”

With a sound like a bursting balloon, Hades disappeared.

“A deadly technique, or rather, a life-giving secret technique… SPELL MAGIC.”

Well, this might be going too far with the dirty jokes. It’s true that it’s about life force, but… my dad jokes have their limits. Anyway, the job is done… or did it disappear? It vanished, but I don’t know if it’s completely gone. I’ll have to check if it respawns after a few years to be sure.

(t/n: the joke is “必生奥義SPELL MAGIC” or Hissei Okugi SPELL MAGIC. Hissei(必生) -> essential to life or vitality or life force, sounds similar to Hissei(ヒッセイ) -> sexual act in Japanese slang. the he said, (いやこれは流石に下ネタが過ぎるか)->this is too dirty of a joke), saying the term can be intepreted indecently, even though it was use to describe a powerful magic spell.)

“Well, for now, I should report it.”

I take out my smartphone and try to make a call when I realize.

“Huh?”

There’s a message notification. I tap it to see… and it’s a dinner invitation from Chika-san.

“Oh no.”

I wet myself.