Chapter 1010 - The Forest Kitten
What are you thinking about when you play? —Then and now, someone has asked me that.
Then and now, my answer is the same. I'm thinking about all sorts of things, so many things, in a dizzying flurry. I'm so preoccupied that I don't even know myself what I'm thinking from one moment to the next.
I never had the luxury of following the music or chasing the composer's intent. I was always, always just desperately trying to spur my own fingers and heart into motion.
It wasn't that I lacked talent.
My talent... just wasn't enough.
I came to a conclusion, moved to a new world, and I think it was for the best.
I don't know how many years it will be before I can say this world is definitively better, but at least for now, I can already feel that 'this world suits me better.'
As always, these fingers still refuse to move exactly as I wish.
""──────────...Found you.""
But this virtual world demands so many other things from me. That's why I've come to like this version of myself, where my music, once my only thing, is now just one facet of who I am.
See? Just like this.
Even something like finding a single grain of sand in a desert is something I can do now...
"...Hm? Huh?"
...or so I thought.
Just as I was feeling proud of myself and getting up from the fallen log I was using as a chair, I belatedly noticed the overlapping voice and let out a dumbfounded sound.
I cried out, reflexively gathering my threads to defend myself, and in the instant I turned around...
""........................""
My eyes met a pair of light blue ones, and a few seconds later, I let out a sigh.
"...What was that about having 'zero individual combat ability'? I seriously didn't notice you at all...??"
And so, the one who had slipped past the 'threads' of Natsume—who prided herself on being a top-tier sensory-type player—was a petite girl. Ri-na tilted her head as if in a daze and said,
"A senior's gravitas?"
"Don't you dare try to explain it away with that..."
At the dazed pronouncement from her tiny senior, she let out a wry, exasperated smile. ...At the same time, she swallowed the additional words that came to mind, her expression becoming even more complicated.
"Aren't you... starting to resemble him a little...?"
"...? —Ah. Fufu~"
"What's with that face? Are you happy? I didn't mean it as a compliment, you know."
When she spoke her thoughts aloud, the girl's listless face softened into a not-so-displeased smile. Her ability to look adorable with any expression was so perfectly idol-like that it was beyond the scope of jealousy.
—Well, now wasn't the time for games.
"...You found something? What?"
On the afternoon of the second day, deep in the forest outside the base, Ri-na, who had found Natsume after she'd been acting on her own since day one, asked her question. In response, while carefully manipulating her 'threads,' Natsume said,
"I'm looking for something. ...You can come along if you want, but don't get in my way, okay?"
"I believe I've already demonstrated the gravitas of a senior."
"Ah, right, right, whatever... Just be stealthy, please..."
With an unexpected companion in tow, she began to walk through the dark forest.
And, five steps into their walk...
"Natsume-chan."
"Seriously, you're going to chat? Fine, whatever..."
Her senior immediately threw a voice devoid of any tension at her, and the junior replied with another wry smile, resigned. Yes, resigned.
Not reluctantly or begrudgingly, just simply resigned—
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Wait, what are we talking about now???"
"Love talk (girl talk)...?"
In that instant, she regretted ever responding.
"Hey, what's with the sudden..."
Unable to read her intentions, she turned to look at her expression... but Ri-na wasn't looking at Natsume. Her gaze was fixed on something far away. She probably wasn't even looking at the scenery.
Her eyes, her heart. They hadn't known each other for long, but when it came to people, she could tell that much.
"I never have."
"O-Oh, really...?"
So, whatever she was thinking must have prompted that remark. She could sense that much. And because she could sense it, the person known as Natsume—
"Ah... uh, well............ —Yeah, I guess not, for me either...?"
—this 'nice person' who was just as much of a pushover as a certain someone else, ended up answering anyway.
"Not even a first love, when you were little?"
"Nope... I didn't interact with boys much."
"A sheltered young lady?"
"Not that far... let's just say it doesn't go that far."
"Mm."
Pitter-patter. Seemingly innocent, seemingly unsteady, but that too was likely a practiced skill. With a look that could unleash a charm offensive on both men and women, inspiring a desire to protect and even captivate, the girl walked through the pathless forest with an ease that belied her appearance.
Her avatar looked completely younger. If the public profile of her as a real-life idol was true, she was a little younger in real life too.
And yet...
"...Everyone seems to be having a tough time."
This part of her had always been a little difficult for me to handle.
It's not that I disliked her. Not at all. And it's not that she was an unpleasant person. Not at all.
It was just that... she and her twin, who wore faces younger than Natsume's yet showed an adult expression Natsume could never imitate, were just a little... intimidating.
Like a child who respects their parents, but also harbors an instinctive fear somewhere in their heart.
"...Haaah."
"...?"
"It's nothing."
Then and now, I haven't changed.
How can I become an adult? My heart, which thinks such childish thoughts... though now, I feel it's fine to stay this way for a while longer.
"Did something happen? With your 'big brother.'"
Shaking her head, she continued speaking. She was now completely caught in the idol's trap, unable to stop the 'chat,' but fortunately, the encirclement of her destination was proceeding without a hitch.
It would ultimately be a gamble, but she figured it would work out somehow.
"..................M-Maybe...? His atmosphere... has changed... I think............?"
"Oh? For a pro people-watcher to say 'maybe,' I guess he's got some moves after all."
While maintaining her lock on the target she had finally found, Natsume slightly increased the resources allocated to the conversation. Their current relationship was perfectly fine, but...
"Mmph... Both of you are so cheeky."
"Hey, what do you mean, 'both of you'? Who are you talking about? Hey, don't lump us together, okay?"
"Don't get paired with my brother without permission. It's ridiculous."
"Can you also stop getting so emotional whenever it comes to him???"
Because she was tired of always, always losing to her.
On the way to her captured 'prey,' the kitten began to boldly challenge her senior.
She lost, by the way.