Chapter 296 - The Thaw is Distant, But the Warmth is Real
"Nia, I’ve realized something."
"'…what?'"
"It’s just that—we’re not really cut out for places like this, are we?"
"'…We had a similar conversation a little while ago, you know.'"
Sorry to interrupt your prim and proper act, but your face is looking a little green, miss—
Starting with us both getting knocked out by the first roller coaster, we, who had been marching through the ridiculously huge theme park, left a trail of metaphorical carnage in our wake.
We foolishly challenged another coaster, only to go down for the count in the exact same fashion.
We tried a park tour bus for a change of pace, but in that leisurely space with no highs, no lows, and no escape, we became too conscious of each other and promptly imploded.
In a moment of desperation, we wondered if tackling something stereotypically 'couple-like' head-on might produce some laughter. We tried the teacups and the merry-go-round, but neither of us knew how to enjoy them, and we ended up sacrificing our mental fortitude for nothing.
Nia vetoed horror attractions because she 'couldn't handle them.'
I vetoed river-ride attractions because I 'couldn't handle them.'
And then, with some nonsensical logic like 'third time's the charm,' we challenged the last of the so-called big three coasters—which brings us to now.
I’d never been to a place like this before in my life, so I hadn't realized it, but now I think I get it.
I'm probably not suited for entertainment where I'm 'meant to be entertained.'
And Nia, who had said she'd 'never been on a roller coaster,' was likely a beginner or, like me, a complete novice.
Since neither of us understood how to have fun properly, there was a feeling of disconnect, like our vibe and the amusement park's weren't quite syncing up.
"This churro is delicious, though."
"'Maybe we should just do a food tour at this point…'"
It's not that the whole experience wasn't fun, but that's because we weren't enjoying the attractions…
And you finished eating already? Just because you can talk while you eat doesn't mean you can leave a grown man in the dust.
"'By the way, are you really no good with boat rides? Are you scared of water?'"
"Not the water, just rivers and the ocean…"
"'Awww.'"
My bad. I was interested in the horror attractions myself, so let’s call it even this time.
—In any case, what to do now? Besides this classic snack, there seem to be a surprising number of food stalls.
As Nia said, shifting to a food tour isn't a bad idea… Hmm?
"Hm?"
A light tapping on my knee drew my attention. Nia, her color returning to her face, wasn't looking unhappy, exactly… but she was watching me with a strange expression.
"'You know,'"
"Yeah."
I responded to her short message, but she seemed hesitant to type what came next. She’d type a single character, then two, then delete them.
…What's this, a sudden obsession with the letter 'T'?
I don’t have the psychic ability to guess the rest of her sentence from the first letter, so I had no choice but to quietly wait for Nia's unique 'voice'… but still.
No,
No, no,
Is this any time for 'but still'? Be a man and escort her properly, you dunce.
Don't you dare let your guard down—who do you think is the reason you were still able to have fun, even when the attractions were a total disaster?
"Nia."
I glanced around, and spotting something, I seized the opportunity to speak first. Nia, who still seemed to be struggling with her words, looked up, her eyes widening at my outstretched hand.
What are you so surprised about? You’ve been commandeering my arm this whole time, pretending not to hear my pleas of 'Please, give me a break.'
I pulled up the slender hand she timidly placed in mine and pointed. "Look, that tour bus is a double-decker, unlike the last one. Wanna give it a shot?"
"'Didn't things get… pretty bad last time?'"
Yes, and that's also in the past. Considering how things have gone so far, we probably can't avoid 'bad things' no matter where we go.
So, you see—to have fun, we don't really have a choice, do we?
"So, it's like… things aren't going to be normal anyway, so maybe we can just relax and be our normal selves."
As I strung together words that were, admittedly, a bit too vague for a poor attempt at hiding my embarrassment, Nia naturally tilted her head and conjured a question mark. Ugh, fine, I’ll only say this once…!
"I… don't hate just talking about random stuff with you."
"—"
The faint sound of an exhaled breath reached my ears from the small mouth that could not form words.
"So, as long as we’re together, it’s not going to be 'boring' or 'lame' or anything."
I'm working with a super difficult puzzle where the only clue is the letter 'T'. Even if I say something completely off the mark, I'm not accepting any complaints.
"So… uh, so—if you feel the same, isn’t that good enough for today? Even if we just talk crap like we always do, it'll still be… you know, what's it called…"
Thanks to a certain someone who keeps pushing forward, no matter how much I struggle…
"…A d-date? It'll pass for one? Maybe? Right?"
That's the heart of the matter.
Even if I'm carrying around some seriously annoying baggage when it comes to love and all that—if there's a ridiculously cute girl next to me, any guy would get a little thrill out of it. We're sad creatures like that.
Just look in a mirror.
I've only been able to look you straight in the eye a handful of times today—huh?!
"Hey, whoa, wait—! That’s—calm down, that’s crossing a line, isn't it…!"
She grabbed my arm with more force than ever before and began striding purposefully toward the bus that was boarding passengers. I shot a complaint her way.
I know—I know.
I know, I know, this is the part that’s no good, right?
But what am I supposed to do?
Am I supposed to act aloof so I don't lead her on?
Am I supposed to realize that my words might actually affect her and consciously act cold?
Wouldn't that just make me a total scumbag? Somebody, please tell me the right answer.
This isn't just about Nia—in this whole situation, no matter how it plays out, I'm probably the one at fault. But with that in mind, allow me to make a completely self-serving excuse…
In what world,
On top of being fully aware of his own mediocrity,
Does a guy act carefully around an attractive girl he feels totally out of his league with,
—on the assumption that she might fall for him?
And then there was one more, even more hopeless fact that completely shut down my internal complaints.
"Ah, ah… yes, yes! Two for the upper deck—hey, seriously, wai—…!"
"Enjoy your ride!!!!!"
Welcomed by a staff member with a beaming smile, I was led onto the still sparsely populated bus, feeling like I was being publicly executed.
Her fair skin was flushed red all the way to her neck, and Nia—the girl who stubbornly refused to stop walking ahead of me, perhaps to avoid showing me her face.
The 'heat' she directed at me, no matter how much I wanted to look away… it was so… —ing.
No matter how many times I kicked at those hopeless feelings of my own, telling them 'What the hell is wrong with you?', kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking.
The girl who stole my gaze was just too dazzling.
Yeah, I'm the bad guy here—and more than anyone, it's me, myself, who has to accept it.