Chapter 423 - An Accumulation of Emptiness
"—So, what are your thoughts on your first experience with the great Sword Saint-sama?"
"I thought I was going to die."
"Well, I mean, we did die, but..."
As the clock ticked towards evening, we walked through the burgeoning crowds of golden hour, engaging in a cheerful post-mortem of our match.
"I'm not one to talk, but she does all of that without any thought acceleration, you know."
"How does one casually swat away a thousand swords while fighting someone moving at the speed of sound... all with a single katana?"
Tell me about it. For the record, I haven't even reached the speed of sound yet. Even if I played all my cards, my absolute maximum instantaneous speed caps out at a little over four digits in kilometers per hour.
If I went that fast, I doubt even I could handle it without some kind of support.
"Anyway, setting the match aside, that 'game of tag' is incredibly effective for improving avatar control. You're combining physical training in this virtual world with developing your combat sense, and since you have to consciously move every part of your body, you get a total review of all your fine motor skills."
And for that particular game, I've received a full license of mastery from Ui-san. Its only drawback is that you can't do it without a partner, but she's more than welcome to use me for that.
—Or so I told her, but then,
"Haru, you're really just... Haru."
"Hold on, why am I being scolded now?"
My blank stare was met with a sidelong glance, accompanied by a rare—or maybe not-so-rare—hint of disapproval.
What the... surely she doesn't think I have ulterior motives, like wanting an excuse to touch her? Even I would obviously consider some kind of... consideration... Sora?
She picked up her pace ever so slightly, and I hurried after my partner as she walked on ahead.
Two small, cloaked figures, walking in a strange single file. Many eyes were on us, but no one yet existed who could identify us by voice alone.
And even if someone had recognized us and called out, I probably wouldn't have paid them any mind—because,
Over the past few days... or rather, recently. A trivial sense of unease that had been building up, little by little, as I watched that small back walking ahead of me.
It had finally accumulated to the point where I could no longer ignore it.
◇◆◇◆◇
—In the end, I think I managed to pass it off as a joke.
I think I was able to gently and carefully brush away my concerned partner's worry, to part ways leaving behind a pretty smile.
And now.
She was consumed by self-loathing, unable to rise from the mechanical bed.
"............, ......"
For the past few days, her control over her emotions had been worse than ever. She knew the cause, but she didn't know why she couldn't suppress it.
No, she did know that, too. But she couldn't understand it.
Her own heart was a blur.
"........................................I didn't... like it."
To organize her thoughts, she let the word at the forefront of her mind spill from her lips.
When she saw his face, she was happy.
When he invited her to go somewhere, she was happy.
When he agreed to her request without a second thought, she was happy.
But after that.
The moment it was no longer just the two of them, she found herself thinking, I hate this.
And from then on, always, always—
Pretending nothing was wrong, pretending to be a good girl, plastering a smile on her face—it was all so agonizingly suffocating, she couldn't breathe.
It's growing larger.
She can no longer look away.
The lid she once placed over her heart has long since vanished.
An unexpected touch, an ordinary, everyday act of kindness. That alone was enough to make her lose her grip on the reins of her emotions so foolishly.
This feeling... was overflowing and wouldn't stop.
She had thought that if she could just fight by his side, standing proudly as his partner, it would all fade. That she could be satisfied with that, that she could convince herself it was enough.
But the reality was the complete opposite. Every time they ran together, every time they swung their swords side-by-side, these unwanted feelings only grew. These emotions she didn't want only piled up.
It wasn't just those two—every affectionate gaze directed at her partner...
All of it.
"————"
She whispered a name.
The 'name' she must never forget.
And in that instant, the heat vanished... replaced by a heart-wrenching chill that filled her body, and a futile remorse with no destination and no meaning.
As if detecting the pained creak of her heart, the canopy of her bed opened. The girl rose silently, no words on her lips or in her mind—
She slipped on a coat and left the room, as if escaping from the ark of dreams.