Chapter 792 - A Moonlit Conversation
And so…
“I think a lot of this is… not good.”
“Ri-na-chan is quite fond of you, Haru-kun. I don’t think you’ll get in trouble for something like this…”
“Hmm…”
Resting on my master’s lap, as she says something characteristically off-kilter, is the [Samidorizuki], undergoing maintenance as usual. Meanwhile, having moved to a new spot, an avatar without its user—the unawakening Ri-na—is resting her head on my lap.
I don’t even think about it anymore, but if I consciously do, I’m reminded that in the real world, we’re only one year apart.
Though she’s now settled into a role that’s even more of a little sister figure than Sora was initially, she’s still seventeen, a peer of mine. She’s undoubtedly someone I shouldn’t be in careless contact with.
Even if it is just her empty shell, and even if my heart doesn’t stir one bit whether I touch her or she rests on my lap, a certain degree of consideration is necessary.
“I still don’t know why she’s taken a liking to me, though.”
But, well, I guess this can’t be helped… maybe.
My suggestion of “Shall I put her to bed in the back room?” was ignored with an indescribably subtle air about her, and this is how things ended up.
“For example, my first impression of you, Haru-kun, was that you were a ‘kind-looking boy’… Perhaps it’s just a ‘feeling’ one gets at first sight?”
“A ‘feeling’?”
And so, my master continues on as if nothing is amiss.
Whether she knows what’s going through my mind as I wonder what to do about all this… No, she most certainly has an inkling, yet seems to approve of this very situation.
“She’s been calling you ‘Onii-san’ all this time, hasn’t she?”
“Ah, that. I wonder why it’s just me.”
“Perhaps… she actually wants to call you ‘Onii-chan’?”
“Haha, you must be joking.”
Even without a consciousness, her presence is tangible. That’s why, even though I understand she won’t wake up or speak, I don’t perceive this moment as us being ‘alone together.’
And so…
“You never know. All girls yearn for a kind and dependable ‘older brother.’ It doesn’t matter if they’re related by blood.”
“Huh…?”
“Incidentally, Irori-kun was also ‘Onii-san’ at first.”
“Whaaa?”
“Within a month, it changed to ‘Irorin’ and ‘Irori-kun,’ respectively.”
“Whaaaaa?”
“I can’t say for sure, but perhaps it means you’ve met with her approval…?”
“No, no… no way. Hahaha, that can’t be.”
Perhaps she wants things to be this way right now, I thought.
I couldn’t read her intentions, and I didn’t try. I simply tilted my head inwardly at my master, who seemed thirty percent more playful and talkative than usual.
“Master, could you say ‘Irorin’ again?”
“Here, it is finished.”
My earnest attempt at banter to mask my confusion was completely ignored. As I respectfully accepted the [Samidorizuki] she offered with a smile, she let out a small sigh, “Fuu.”
“…”
It was, needless to say, a rare gesture.
And so, I hesitated over whether to address it or not—
“…I was surprised. About Irori-kun and the others.”
In the end, it wasn’t me, who had decided to remain silent, who spoke. It was Ui-san herself who broke the silence, confessing her own ‘uncharacteristic’ state as if it were a truly unexpected thing.
“I’m ashamed to admit, I didn’t notice a thing.”
Of course you didn’t, I thought, keeping the extremely rude sentiment to myself.
“…I was the same way. In fact, I’m sure everyone was surprised, without exception.”
I offered a noncommittal response—there was nothing else to say, really. In turn, she looked at her own lap, then at the moon above, and finally, her eyes met mine.
“…What manner of thing is ‘love’?”
Honestly, I couldn’t grasp the meaning of her words at first.
That’s how much the word clashed with the image I had of her. And at the same time, it was an exceedingly innocent and childlike question, just like her.
And then, after a beat…
“…I’m sorry. Please forget I said that.”
I must have had a dumbfounded look on my face. Seeing my inability to respond immediately, Ui-san quickly retracted her words.
Compared to what I have with my partner, our telepathic connection is still next to nothing. But as her disciple, I can at least read her heart to some extent from her expression and tone.
I’ve done something wrong—is what she must have thought. Because she knows that I am, day in and day out, currently struggling with this very thing called ‘romance.’
“Haha.”
“—!”
So, I laughed, as if to say she was being overly considerate. And just as I expected, she averted her gaze awkwardly, with the same reaction she has when she occasionally gets a lecture from me.
I truly appreciate how much she treasures and cares for me. However…
“It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to be ‘Master’ all the time. —Oh, I mean, in a good way! In a good, extremely positive way.”
This probably sounds nonsensical.
But because I understand how important the ‘master and disciple’ relationship is to her, when she shows me that flicker of anxiety on her face, I can’t help but follow up with a barrage of reassurances.
And so, I remain my usual self, unable to look cool in front of my master.
“Look, it’s frustrating to always be on the receiving end. So isn’t it okay for me to teach you something once in a while, Ui-san?”
“…Is it frustrating?”
“Of course it is. I’m a guy, after all.”
I said, spouting more nonsense.
“It’s… difficult,” I said.
“Yes…?”
“This ‘love’ thing. It’s the most difficult thing in the world.”
“…”
“If you’re fine with my personal take on it, that’s about it.”
At this point, it was no trouble at all to embarrass myself in front of my master. If I could help her in any way by sharing a thing or two about myself, then so be it.
“For better or worse, it’s something that changes you. Whether it’s for the better or worse depends on you and the other person. And, well, it’s something that absolutely keeps moving forward… I suppose.”
“Something that keeps moving forward…”
“Yeah. See, no matter what you do, there’s no going back. Just as time moves forward on its own, so does a relationship. Unless you get amnesia, there’s no going backward from getting to know someone, right? It’s like that.”
As I say it myself, I start to lose track of what I’m saying. But even in my confusion, I have an embarrassing certainty that ‘that’s just how it is.’
“It’s difficult, you know. Feelings and emotions and all that, they just pile up infinitely.”
“…”
“It’s weighty with feeling, and heavy for it… But well, the challenge it presents is bottomless and has no ceiling.”
I hoped that my master… no, that the innocent woman before me would take my ramblings and keep them secret in her heart, along with my embarrassment.
“Was that… helpful at all?”
To wrap things up, I put on a poker face and asked as if it were nothing.
“…Haru-kun.”
Ui-san made another rare gesture.
She called my name, then gently averted her gaze from me.
“That must be… a wonderful thing.”
With an expression on her face that I still couldn’t read, she looked up at the moon and murmured softly.