Chapter 8 - The Seventh Chapter: The Magic Otaku Discovers He Isn’t Suited for Magic
"Well, this is a problem..."
It was the first day of my participation in the Arcalai family's private academy. On the way back to the manor after lectures, the words slipped out of my mouth. Ruria, walking beside me, glanced over with a faint hint of confusion. Hanna, too, must have found it odd, as she called out to me from behind.
"Lord Saki, is something wrong? Was there anything you didn't understand in today's lecture?"
"No, Hanna. I understood everything perfectly. It's just..."
"Then are you not feeling well?"
"No, no, no, I'm feeling perfectly fine. Really."
I denied it, but even I could tell my words lacked conviction. Even Laz-san, walking ahead, kept looking back at me with a worried expression.
Attending my first magic lecture had been a shock. The "magic" I learned about today was a world away from the "sorcery" I was familiar with in my previous life. This "magic" used "spells," and most of it was for combat. In short, magic users in this world were exactly like the ones from the computer RPGs of my past life.
The common nickname for magic users in this world, "Spellcaster (one who projects spells)," gives you a good idea of how they're perceived. It's the kind of name that makes you want to complain, as if they think we're some kind of mortar. But in truth, on the battlefield, the role of a magic user is apparently to support an army's advance by launching spells into enemy lines from the rear, so perhaps it's a rather apt name after all. I'd heard that magic users were "frightening," but I never imagined it meant frightening in a physical sense. It wasn't about being scary because they were mysterious.
In contrast, the "sorcerer" I had aimed to become in my past life was centered on "ritual magic." Ritual magic involves preparing a space with an altar and a magic circle, then performing a rite to activate the sorcery. Its purposes are diverse, from summoning high-level beings like gods or spirits to seek their teachings on the deeper mysteries of magic, to borrowing the aid of the various powers (like elementals) that exist throughout the world to cause all sorts of miracles. It was a completely different beast from the combat-specialized magic users here.
Spells? Mana? What is all this? No rituals, no altars, no magic weapons... this is completely different from sorcery. You lied to me, Azrael!
In my mind, I cursed the angel (or so I'd decided) I met in Yetzirah. I thought I heard a reply from somewhere saying, How rude, but it must have been my imagination. I was supposed to have been guided to a "world where sorcery could actually be used," but upon arriving, I found they used a form of magic that was nothing alike. This was a scam. It was enough to make anyone sigh.
And so, with everyone still worrying about me, I trudged my way back to the manor.
That evening, I lay on my bed in the children's room, staring up at the ceiling. Beside me, Ruria was already fast asleep, breathing softly and sweetly.
It's not like I want to go on an adventure, join a hero to fight a demon lord, or anything like that.
Unable to sleep, my thoughts wandered. Just as Commander Azadh had told me long ago, in this fantasy world threatened by orcs and magical beasts, the role demanded of a magic user might inevitably lean toward rougher business. All I wanted was to study sorcery and touch its abyss, but perhaps that was a wish only possible in a peaceful world.
Why does this world have to be so violent? If you're going to model it after a game, you might as well have levels, experience points, skills, stats, appraisals, and cheat abilities. I've been alive for six years and there's been no sign of any of it!
Perhaps my disappointment was so great because I had looked forward to this day for years. A torrent of complaints, which could only be described as baseless accusations, bubbled up in reaction. This wasn't a good trend. I decided to cut off my unproductive thoughts and just go to sleep for the night. But before I closed my eyes, I had to try one thing.
"Status."
No window appeared.
The next day, the four of us headed to the academy together again. A night's sleep seemed to have cleared away some of the fog in my mind.
"Lord Saki, I'm relieved to see you seem back to your usual self today," said Laz-san with a smile, standing guard in front of me as always.
"Oh, come on. Was I really that strange?"
"Yes. Forgive my impudence, but yesterday you seemed worried, or perhaps anxious. It was a far cry from your usual confident self."
Ah. Perhaps because of my past life's memories, I'd never really been one to worry or be timid. Add to that a lack of childlike innocence, and I suppose I must have looked like a kid with a brazen attitude. To be worried over just because I was a little down seemed a bit much, though.
"There are plenty of things in this world that are no use thinking about. It's healthier to just face what needs to be done."
"Ah, you really are back to your usual self, Lord Saki."
Hanna giggled as she said it. I laughed and replied, "That's mean." In reality, after waking up, yesterday's worries didn't seem so important anymore.
Just as I'd said myself, there was no point in wondering "why" things were different from my expectations. What was necessary was to think, "So, what do I do now?" Besides, yesterday was only the very first, most basic lesson. As I learned more about magic and put it into practice, I might discover different aspects of it. Who knows, perhaps a technique like ritual magic was hidden within this world's magic after all.
That's right. First, I would learn more about magic, and then I would think. With that resolve, I passed through the academy gates once more to study magic.
After finishing the morning's general education lecture, we moved on to the afternoon's magic lecture. Today, it seemed all the other students had gone to the magic training grounds to receive instruction from my father. Ruria and I sat side-by-side in a smaller classroom, receiving a lecture from my mother on spell activation. It couldn't be helped, since we had only started learning yesterday while the other students were much further along.
"First, I'll teach you how to cast the simplest spell, [Light]. This spell is First Tier, consumes little mana, and has no danger, so it's the recommended spell to learn first."
With that, my mother traced a triangle in the air in front of her with her finger. I saw a reddish light form an equilateral triangle, and with her word, "[Light]," a sphere of light ignited at her fingertip. The light orb created by the [Light] spell was the same reddish-orange as the light from the symbol she had just drawn, illuminating the surroundings with a glow similar to a bare light bulb. Mother had the orb of light fly in a circle around her, then made it disappear and reappear.
"See? Isn't it interesting? It can stay lit for a long time, so it's a surprisingly useful spell. The trick is to visualize a glowing triangle forming just as you traced it with your finger. When you chant '[Light],' strongly imagine the spell succeeding. Now then, you two, please give it a try."
My mother prompted us with a smile. It was a surprisingly simple trick. Could that really be all it took to cause the phenomenon of creating light from nothing? When you thought about it, this was an amazing thing.
In any case, it was time to practice. The trick my mother mentioned was a perfect fit for the "Dice Method," an image training exercise Ruria and I had been practicing for a long time. We were already able to visualize three illusory dice rolling in front of us and landing on all sixes, so vividly it was as if they were real. I just had to use the same method to reproduce the way Mother had cast the spell a moment ago.
"[Light]."
A small voice sounded beside me, and at the same time, a bright light filled the area. I looked over to see Ruria holding an orange-tinged sphere of light at her fingertip.
"That's amazing, Ruria-chan! To succeed with your chant on the very first try, just from that explanation!"
Mother's voice was filled with excitement as she grasped Ruria's hand as if to lift it in praise. With the magical light source floating in her hand, Ruria glanced at me from the side. I saw her eyes hold a faint, triumphant gleam that only I would notice, and a fierce determination to not be beaten surged within me. All right, I'll show her.
Recalling my mother's movements, I traced an equilateral triangle in front of me with my fingertip. I imagined a slightly orange line of light following my finger to form the triangle. Yes, I could see a perfect equilateral triangle symbol floating there, a flawless image of my own making. Then, imagining the sphere of light I had just seen appearing at my fingertip, I whispered.
"[Light]."
Instantly, I saw the light inside my body, visible only to me, move into my arm and begin to leak from my fingertip, forming an orb. At the same time, a heavy feeling settled in my stomach, and I felt the blood flowing to my head rush downwards with a whoosh. The light at my fingertip swelled brightly, but conversely, my vision began to blacken from the edges inward. And in that completely dark field of vision, the last thing I saw was the image of the lone, floating sphere of light before my consciousness faded.
"—Are you awake?"
As if rising from the dark bottom of a pool of water, my vision cleared, and I saw my father and mother's faces looking down at me. Both wore worried expressions. I seemed to be lying down. Just then, I felt the touch of a small hand on my cheek. Turning my head, I saw Ruria's face. Noticing that her eyes were red and moist, I reflexively tried to sit up.
"Don't. You need to stay in bed for now."
I sat up, ignoring my mother's attempt to stop me. It seemed I was still at the academy, lying on a sofa in one of the rooms. From the magnificent rosewood desk, I guessed it was probably the headmaster's office. Father and Mother stood before me, with Ruria seated beside me.
"No, I am all right. Did I lose consciousness?"
I asked them as I looked around the room. Mother explained the situation to me, her voice apologetic.
"You chanted the [Light] spell, Saki, and the spell activated correctly. But you fainted immediately after, so we carried you here to rest. You were unconscious for quite a while. It's almost evening."
So that's what happened. That meant I had wasted the entire afternoon. Still, perhaps because I had slept soundly, I felt fine both mentally and physically. The nausea I'd felt before passing out was completely gone. What was that? Was it like the anemia I'd heard about, the kind that makes you faint? I'd never been anemic in my past or present life, so I couldn't say for sure.
"Father, Mother, I apologize for making you worry. You too, Ruria. I'm all right now."
I directed my last words to Ruria, as if to reassure her. But she only clutched my sleeve, looking back at me without a word. Her gaze seemed to say, "Are you sure?"
"...I see. In that case, Saki, there is something I need to talk to you about."
Father said this and then glanced at Mother. She understood and headed for the door, opening it. Hanna and Laz-san, who must have been waiting outside, entered the room. Seeing them, Father turned back to Ruria and spoke in a gentle, admonishing tone.
"Ruria. Please wait outside with Hanna and the others for a little while. We need to speak with Saki. It will only be for a moment. When we're done, you can go back to the manor with Saki."
But Ruria didn't let go of my hand, only shaking her head back and forth. Ah, this was my cue.
"It's okay, Ruria. Could you wait outside for just a little bit? I'll be right back, and then we can go home together, okay?"
Ruria still didn't let go, just staring at me for a long time. I met her deep, dark eyes and held her gaze in silence for just as long. Eventually, Ruria gave a tiny nod, got off the sofa, and let Hanna and Laz-san lead her out of the room. She looked back at me several times on her way out, an expression on her face as if she wanted to say something. ...It seemed I had worried her more than I thought. But my father had asked her to leave because it was a conversation she couldn't hear. I had a vague, bad feeling about what I was about to be told.
"I am sorry, Saki."
"It is all right. More importantly, what did you wish to discuss?"
Prompted by me, Father opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Mother looked on anxiously, her gaze shifting between me and my father. After a moment of silence, Father began to speak, his expression grim.
"The reason you lost consciousness right after casting the [Light] spell is because your own magic power was completely depleted. When a magic user rapidly loses their mana, they can feel sick or be struck by dizziness. In severe cases, they can even lose consciousness, as you did."
"...I see."
I answered curtly, but though my body felt better, my spirits had hit rock bottom. What did Mother say? [Light] was an easy-to-handle beginner's spell that consumed very little mana. Which meant...
"We have kept this from you until now, Saki, but the light you see emanating from within people... according to your grandmother Ester, that light represents the magic power a person possesses. The stronger and brighter the light, the greater their mana. In other words..."
"My own light is extremely dim. Which means that compared to other magic users, my magic power is very small, correct?"
"That is right. And since casting spells requires one's own mana, it means you will be unable to use most spells. If you force it, you would be lucky if the spell merely fails. In the worst-case scenario, you could truly pour every last bit of your magic power into a spell. Should that happen, it could endanger your very life."
"Is that so..."
I muttered that single phrase and fell silent. My father and mother seemed to be saying various things, like "you don't need to be fixated on spells" and "your future as a noble won't be a problem." But to me, their words sounded like noises coming from a great distance. I simply nodded along to their conversation with "yes" and "I see," and eventually, they escorted me from the room. Outside the door, Ruria, Hanna, and Laz-san were waiting right where they had been left.
"...Saki, are you okay?"
Ruria greeted me as I came out of the room. As far as I knew, it was extremely rare for this childhood friend of mine to initiate a conversation. Her expression as she peered into my face was no different from usual, but her brow seemed to be faintly furrowed. I couldn't answer her properly and just managed to force a smile in silence.
I think we left the academy, returned to the manor, and had dinner after that, but I don't remember it well. I think I was asked many questions on the way back, and my parents, Maria, and Dani probably spoke to me during dinner, but my memory of how I replied is hazy. Amidst it all, I do remember Ruria repeatedly asking, "Are you okay?" and "Did something happen?" All the while, a single fact swirled endlessly in my head: "I am fatally devoid of talent as a magic user."
I loved sorcery. I was reborn into this world because I wanted to become a sorcerer. But there was no sorcery, only magic, and I had no talent for that either.
For the first time in my twenty-some years plus six years of life, I felt I'd hit a dead end.
"You're really not yourself today, Saki."
We were in our usual children's room. Ruria and I had used this room since we were born, and though more furniture like desks had been added as we grew, we still only had one bed, albeit a larger one. Lying next to me in it, Ruria posed the question for what must have been the tenth time today.
"Umm... it's nothing important."
I replied while still sitting up in bed, looking at the ceiling. The darkened room was faintly lit by the fine particles of light that always drifted through the air. And of course, Ruria, sleeping next to me, was as radiant as ever. The light of her mana overflowed from her body, covering her completely and threatening to spill out. It was a world away from my own magic power, which could only be described as feeble.
"You didn't talk during dinner. That's strange."
"...Am I really that talkative?"
"You can't keep quiet, Saki."
"That's just mean."
I lowered my gaze to Ruria, and she looked back at me. Unable to withstand her black eyes staring at me without blinking, I looked away.
"Look at me."
Ruria was merciless. And I knew that when the daughter of my wet nurse got like this, she would not yield. It had been the same when I suggested we get separate rooms since we were both getting bigger. Ruria had stubbornly refused, saying not a single word and just staring at me. As a result, we still sleep in the same room together now. Resigned, I lay back down on the bed and stared back into Ruria's eyes as I spoke.
"I was just overthinking things. I'll be back to normal tomorrow. Trust me."
"..."
Ruria looked at me in silence for a while, then she took my hand under the blanket and closed her eyes. I too decided to stop thinking about the unchangeable facts for a while, closed my eyes, and tried to sleep. Perhaps thanks to the warmth of her hand in mine, I lost consciousness surprisingly quickly.
(...)
A pitch-black space. There was nothing here, not even myself. From somewhere, I could hear a voice that sounded familiar.
What is it that troubles you?
I crossed worlds in search of sorcery. There was no sorcery, only magic. And I had no talent for that magic.
Why did you seek out sorcery?
Why did I? I had been obsessed with it. Not just sorcery, but all mysteries and secret arts. Sorcery is the act of imposing one's will upon the world. Maybe I wanted to change the world.
Can you not change the world with this magic?
I don't know. Maybe I can. But I have no talent for it.
Then, was there truly no sorcery at all?
...!
That's right, maybe I just haven't found it yet, I haven't even properly looked, and even if it doesn't exist I can just create it, just bring the sorcery from my past life here wholesale, you only give up when you've exhausted every last option, so stop making my childhood friend worry about me!
As if a dam had burst, or an explosion had gone off, my thoughts chained together and raced through my mind. When I came to, the voice from before was gone. Ah, that felt good. How ridiculous. To think I'd been moping over something so trivial.
And so, the next morning, I woke up feeling remarkably clear-headed.
My apologies for the long delay, but here is the seventh chapter. Magic was introduced in the last chapter, and I plan to gradually reveal more about what it entails. Thank you for your continued support.