Chapter 2 - Ritz Alster's Story <2>
III
This is a story from about two hundred and eighty years ago.
Upon turning twenty, Karl decided to leave the forest of the Clan of Light and see the human world for himself. While twenty is considered an adult by human standards, for his clan, he still had the appearance of a six- or seven-year-old child. And just as his appearance suggested, his mind was still that of a young boy.
Even if they live long lives, if they spend their years as children among their clan, their physical and mental growth remains just as gradual.
He was a rare case among a clan that was inherently uninterested in other races; he was a child brimming with curiosity. He had always wanted to meet a human—a creature he had only heard of in rumors—and speak with one. He didn't want to rely solely on the stories of the adults; he wanted to see the truth with his own eyes. He was a stubborn child, the kind who couldn't be satisfied until he had seen things for himself.
His way of thinking was not understood, not only by the adults but by the other children as well. He gradually came to be seen as a bit of an oddity, and his friends began to distance themselves from him.
Then one day, the perfect opportunity presented itself to Karl. He learned that on the night before the village's sacred rites, the adults' attention would be drawn away from the children.
As soon as the adults were gone, Karl put his plan into action. Seizing the moment, he slipped out of the village.
No one stopped him. The other children were asleep, and the adults were all gathered with the elder. With an excitement he had never known before, he raced through the empty forest. Even the paths he had traveled countless times felt fresh, as if they were leading him on an unknown adventure.
And so, without even realizing it, Karl passed through Ciedena's barrier and left the forest.
He had no idea how to get back.
Members of the Clan of Light are only taught the landmarks for the forest's entrance after they come of age at one hundred. Leaving is effortless, but to re-enter, one must know the signs. Karl had intended to have a small adventure, but it had turned into a truly grand one.
...It was a beautiful, moonlit night.
When he emerged from the forest and saw the great plains stretching out before him, he felt the loneliness of being on his own for the first time. By the time he grew uneasy and turned back toward the forest, it was already too late. No matter how he tried to enter the clan's village, he only ended up lost within the woods. He didn't know which trees were the landmarks, and even if he had, he wouldn't have known how to use them.
At a loss, Karl walked on, crying, until he somehow found his way to the closest human house. His feet, unaccustomed to such long treks, were covered in blisters. He couldn't imagine walking another step.
He entered the home's yard and stood before the door, but he couldn't muster the courage to knock. The adults had only ever told him bad things about humans, and his mind swirled with the fear and uncertainty of what might be done to him.
Reaching out his hand only to pull it back again and again, Karl observed the house. It was large but dilapidated and clearly old. Yet it didn't have the desolate air of an abandoned home. It gave off a strangely warm impression.
Maybe someone will help me. Maybe people who won't be cruel, even to a member of the Clan of Light, live here. Believing this, Karl finally knocked on the door.
There was an immediate response from within. The entryway light flicked on, and a large, cheerful-looking woman opened the door. Unsure how to interact with a human for the first time, Karl could only tremble as she ushered him inside and then bellowed loudly.
"Everyone, wake up!"
Before Karl's wide, startled eyes, a crowd of sleepy faces began to gather. Prompted by the large woman, he timidly explained his situation, and the people surrounding him all wore expressions of concern. The terrifying humans he had heard about from the adults were nowhere to be found. Everyone here seemed kind.
Even after hundreds of years, he never forgot the sense of relief he felt at that moment.
They were the Merite family. From their conversation, he also gathered that their concept of "family" was a little different from that of the Clan of Light.
From there, things progressed in a direction entirely different from what Karl had imagined. In a good way, of course.
Warm soup and bread were quickly brought to him. He silently lifted the food to his mouth. Only then did he realize how hungry he was after wandering for so many hours. The loneliness had stolen even his appetite. Before he knew it, he was devouring the meal set before him. There was no time to even consider the fear that human food might be different from his own clan's.
As he ate, the entire Merite family sat with him at the same table, watching over him with gentle eyes. Perhaps because of that, he had no memory of feeling awkward about barging in during the middle of the night and being fed.
After finishing his meal and catching his breath, Karl was finally able to tell them about his situation, bit by bit. Listening to his disjointed, faltering story, they were surprised to learn for the first time that he was of the Clan of Light, but they did not discriminate against him.
Karl, who had been raised to fear humans, found it unbelievably strange. He cautiously asked them why they didn't treat him differently, but they just laughed and said that regardless of race, a child was a child.
Trust only what you feel yourself; don't be swayed by rumors or hearsay. That, they said, was the Merite family rule. It was then that Karl learned that humans called the Clan of Light the "Spirit Tribe," and from that day on, he began referring to his people by that name as well.
By the time Karl had finished telling his story, the eastern sky was already beginning to lighten. Having nothing left to say, Karl was at a loss. He had no idea what would become of him or what he should do.
Seeing Karl in his dazed state, the good-natured father, Thomas, asked him with concern.
"You can't go back home?"
"No..."
"Then do you have anywhere to go?"
As Karl could only shake his head in silence, a smile spread across Thomas's face.
"Well then, how about you live with us as one of our own until you can go back?"
"Huh?"
"We're a poor, big family, but if you'd like, you're welcome to stay here."
Karl was the most stunned of all. He looked around in bewilderment at the others, but they were all just smiling, same as Thomas. No one seemed to find his presence a nuisance. Even though he was a child of the Clan of Light, even though he wasn't human.
After a moment of hesitant thought, Karl asked cautiously.
"Is it really okay? I'm a child of Ciedena."
Thomas gave the anxious boy a gentle smile and nodded.
"I told you, didn't I? Whether you're human or from the Spirit Tribe, a child is a child. And children need a family until they grow up. Right, dear?"
The woman he addressed, Sarah, slapped her plump belly and laughed heartily.
"Of course! One or two more kids won't change how poor we are. Right, everyone?"
A burst of laughter erupted at Sarah's words.
"That's for sure. No doubt about it."
At that moment, Karl was completely convinced. It was the Clan of Light who hated humans after all. He didn't know what other humans were like, but people like this existed. You truly couldn't know the truth until you saw it with your own eyes.
"It's really okay for me to stay here?"
"Of course. From now on, this is your home."
And so, Karl became a member of the Merite family. Though his real name was Karl Alster, he would henceforth be known as Karl A. Merite and live as a human.
The Merite family consisted of ten members across three generations: a grandfather, a grandmother, the father Thomas, the mother Sarah, and six children. With Karl, they became a family of eleven.
That was how he met his adoptive family, the Merites. And so, with the promise that he would stay until he could return to the forest, Karl was raised as a child of the Merite family. He never imagined he wouldn't be able to return for eighty years.
After Karl became one of the Merites, peaceful days flowed by quietly. There were so many things he had never experienced in the village of the Clan of Light, and every day was fresh and new.
Visiting the bustling market with Thomas holding his hand, chasing cattle let loose in the wide pasture, tilling fields and growing crops. It was all fun and fascinating.
Sometimes, the children from a nearby village would bully him, calling him an adopted child, but his older brothers and sisters were always there to protect him. They were as kind and reassuring as true siblings. Karl was happy, so happy, to be able to spend his days in such a warm place.
It would be a lie to say he never thought of his real father and mother. But his Spirit Tribe parents were typical of their clan, lost in daily contemplation and lacking the warm interactions of humans. Their existence soon felt distant, like a dream or an illusion. He had never quite fit in with the Spirit Tribe to begin with, so adapting to humans was no hardship at all.
But time passed quickly, and humans grew up much faster than he had expected.
With his childlike appearance, Karl was treated as the third youngest sibling. He now had a younger brother and sister. But in the blink of an eye, they surpassed him.
His eldest brother was married in what felt like an instant, and his sister left home. His youngest sister, who had been just over a year old, was suddenly older than him before he even realized it.
But Karl remained a young boy. His little sister grew to look much older than him, yet she still called the child-like Karl her "big brother." It was a strange and heart-wrenching sight.
What a hurried existence humans lead...
Thirty years after he came to this house, Thomas died. Five years after that, Sarah followed. His siblings had all become respectable adults, but Karl alone remained a boy. His brothers and sisters were kind. None of them ever said a word about his appearance, and his younger sisters still called him "big brother" and treated him with respect.
While he grappled with his own anguish, time passed mercilessly on.
Eventually, his older brothers' hair turned white, and with the passing years, they too were gone. As the shadow of loneliness crept ever closer, he realized that eighty years had passed. Karl, who had wandered out of the forest at the age of twenty, was now a hundred years old. He had, without realizing it, reached the age of adulthood for the Spirit Tribe.
The single Merite house in the middle of the plains had, over time, become a small settlement of several dozen homes. All who lived there were relatives connected to the Merite family. By welcoming wives from nearby villages or having people move in, the Merite household had gradually grown into a settlement bearing the name Merite.
The people, even the settlement itself, had grown almost beyond recognition, yet Karl had only aged from a boy to a young man. Most of his siblings were gone, and the only one left was his youngest sister, Eri. She had been just over a year old when he arrived.
And now, Eri too was preparing to leave him behind.
"Karl-niisan, you never did go back to the forest, did you?"
Karl, who was sitting by the bedside of his sister whose flame of life was about to burn out, looked up with a start at the sound of her voice. It was Eri, who had been unconscious until now.
It was another beautiful, moonlit night.
Her daughter and grandchildren were asleep. Karl had taken their place, watching over her.
"Eri... how are you feeling?"
Fighting back the urge to cry, he could only manage such a mundane question. Karl felt unbearably frustrated and pathetic.
"I'm feeling much better."
The sky outside was clear, and as the siblings looked out the window, they could see the moon shining brightly.
"Thank you, brother. Please, continue to watch over my children, and my grandchildren, even if just from afar."
"...Eri..."
"You have to go back to the forest now, brother. It's just too painful for you."
At Eri's sorrowful words, Karl took her hand and cried out, his voice a strangled whisper. He had tried to keep smiling, but there was a limit to what he could bear.
"It's not painful! I'm happy being with everyone. And look, there are so, so many of everyone's children! So... so I'm okay!"
Beneath her labored breaths, Eri murmured "thank you" and closed her eyes. She then whispered something in a tiny voice, as if talking to herself. Karl leaned closer to her mouth, trying to catch the words.
"I'm sorry, leaving you all alone... I don't think I can hold on much longer..."
"Don't say that. Don't be so weak."
His voice trembled. Karl knew, somehow. This was goodbye.
"Thank you, brother."
With that, Eri took one last, deep breath.
"Eri?"
No answer ever reached Karl's ears again.
"...Eri!"
She had returned to the heavens where the rest of the Merite family waited. Clinging to his sister's now-still form, Karl understood that he was once again alone, just like that day he had wandered from the forest.
He could feel Eri's family, who had rushed in at his shout, collapsing in tears behind him. Karl quietly left the room, making space for her family. He couldn't stay here any longer. He didn't think he could bear any more sorrow.
Mulling over Eri's last words, he entered the Ciedena Forest alone. All by himself, Karl cried out loud, and he kept crying for a long time. There was no place for him in that house anymore.
After several days spent crying, he heard a strange voice by his ear. It was a warm, nostalgic voice. The dreamlike voice guided him to the entrance of the Spirit Tribe's forest and showed him the way in. It was the voice of a spirit, something he had forgotten over the long eighty years. And so, he was finally able to return to his homeland.
The forest of the Clan of Light was exactly as it had been eighty years ago when he left. His parents, who greeted him, also looked completely unchanged from the day he departed. The feeling of nostalgia was fleeting, quickly replaced by a sense of unease within him.
The clock inside Karl had moved forward so much that it could never be turned back. He could no longer understand his true parents' aversion to humans, their insular feelings toward other races.
His childhood friends, the other villagers... to him, they were all nothing more than strangers he couldn't understand. The villagers, too, likely found it difficult to accept him as one of their own after he had lived with humans for so long. So they gave him the role of negotiator with humans and the task of returning any who wandered into the forest. He accepted this without complaint and built his own home by a lakeside near the forest's entrance, far from the clan's settlement, and began to live there.
Honestly, it was easier that way. It was more convenient for visiting the descendants of the Merite family, and it prevented needless friction with the Clan of Light.
Besides, Karl was not lonely. In the Merite settlement, he was warmly welcomed by Eri's family, and he was able to live there as a spirit user who protected the community.
Karl the human, and Karl of the Clan of Light.
Even after he married and Ritz was born, this life continued. The Alster family spent half the year at the lakeside and the other half in the village of Merite. His life of two standings began from that time.
Two hundred years have passed since then. And to this day, his standing has not changed.
IV
After the long story ended, silence once again fell between the two. His father had spent long years grappling with a certain kind of suffering, and now Ritz, facing a similar dilemma, was trying to live a different way. He had no idea what the result of that would be.
"Out in the world, I lived a life you probably wouldn't approve of, Dad."
Ritz murmured the words, not looking at Karl. Karl, who was also gazing at the moonlight reflecting on the lake, replied.
"I read about you in the newspapers. Besides, both Ciela and I knew the moment you entered the forest. You smell of blood."
"...Ah, right."
"And you're carrying a greatsword on your back. It'd be stranger if I didn't know," Karl added.
"Good point."
Ritz let out a small sigh. He didn't feel shame or regret for his past. But here, in this forest that was the very picture of peace, he felt out of place.
Karl had spent his life watching over the happiness of the family that took him in. In contrast, Ritz had lived through war and then ran from battlefield to battlefield as a mercenary. They were father and son, yet their lives were so different. And all they had done was step out into the world.
Ritz still didn't know how he was supposed to live from now on, or what he should do. He was fumbling in the dark. As he was swept along by the terrifyingly fast flow of human time, he wondered how he could find something that would allow him to keep living. The thought of it made the future seem impossibly vast, leaving him utterly bewildered.
Karl turned to face Ritz, his gaze serious as he looked at his son. Ritz was momentarily overwhelmed by the intensity in his eyes.
"I spent eighty years in the human world. They were wonderful, irreplaceable years, but they also brought a great deal of painful memories. But Ritz, you may have to endure an even longer, more painful time than I did."
"..."
For the first time, he was speaking to Ritz as a father.
"Even so, I want you to live in a way that you won't have any regrets. You came back here because you're carrying some heavy burden on your shoulders, didn't you?"
"Yeah... maybe."
The question of his own existence, left behind by the passing of time. Was it a heavy burden, or was it a shackle?
Ritz stood up, stretched languidly, and took a deep breath. The answer wouldn't come yet. There was no point in agonizing over it here. The answer might be out there somewhere in the world. The future was still uncertain, but maybe he could find something that would change his outlook on the world and make living easier.
"You know, I was thinking of taking a slow journey this time. Up until now, I've just been swept along, rushing through everything. I feel like I haven't really seen anything. I thought it might be nice to just wander through this country without a destination. Besides... there are people I want to see."
"That sounds like a good idea."
Karl let out a huge yawn from his seat on the rock. Come to think of it, a lot of time had passed.
"Oh, goodness. Ciela will be worried if I'm out this late. Let's head back soon."
"I'm gonna stay a little longer."
"Alright. Well, don't catch a cold."
Karl leisurely stood up and clapped Ritz on the shoulder.
"Listen, Ritz, don't ever forget this. Even if time leaves you behind, your time flows in this forest."
"...My time?"
A strange wind blew through his heart. In this place where he felt so out of place, his time was flowing?
"That's right. Ciela and I are spending our near-eternal time here. And you are our son."
"Dad..."
"It doesn't matter what else you forget. But please, don't forget that."
He clapped him on the shoulder one more time, then shivered for a moment as if from the cold before turning to go home. After his father's figure had disappeared from view, Ritz sat down again as if his strength had left him and gazed up at the clear, moonlit sky.
He still had a place to return to; he wasn't being left behind. Just knowing that made coming back worthwhile. His father must have wanted to tell him that, just as Ritz was starting to feel that he had nothing, that he was empty inside.
Ritz took out the mysterious sphere he had found at his mentor's grave and stared at it. This orb had certainly said to him:
...Find the answer. Your answer...
He didn't know what the orb was for. But it seemed certain that it had come to him of its own will.
"Once I find the answer... maybe I'll visit his grave again. Though who knows how many decades from now that'll be."
Muttering this in a cheerful tone, Ritz stood up. It had gotten quite late. It was time to go home.
To the home where, for a few days before he set out on a new journey, he would live alongside a family that shared his sense of time.