Chapter 204 - <11>
She didn't know if she was sleeping or dozing. There were no windows here, and a white light filled the space all day, so she had completely lost her sense of time.
Lying face down on the bed, Anna opened her eyes.
Ever since Kuchiba told her she would live forever, it felt as though days had passed, yet it also felt like only a few hours. The one thing that brought her peace was knowing that Ritz was alive.
If he had made it out of there and reunited with Edward and Franz, he would undoubtedly reach this place safely. And when he did, he would come for her and hold her, just like always.
But she was scared.
More than anything, the mystery of her own existence was terrifying.
The daughter of the Omniscient God, who would live for eternity…
If she were to live forever, she would no longer be human, or of a higher race, or a demi-human. Even the Darkness Spirit King had died, yet the Omniscient God lived on. And would she, his daughter, also continue to live forever, against her own will?
She gripped the bedsheets tightly, buried her face in them, and bit her lip. Being alone like this, her mind raced. She imagined all sorts of things, even the impossible. Just thinking about her lifespan, about her true identity, made the world go dark. But what tormented Anna more than anything was the thought of Ritz.
Back when she could casually say, “I love you,” she probably wouldn't have worried about such things. But it was only after being torn apart that she realized just how much she loved and relied on Ritz.
That was why she dreamt, in the moments between sleep.
She dreamt of Ritz frowning at her with disgust, at the eternally-living, uncanny Anna, and turning his back on her.
In reality, Anna herself had flinched every time she saw the dark side of Ritz, the mercenary who had killed people, and she had pushed him away. And Ritz had looked at her with such a lonely, pain-filled gaze. In her dreams, it was that same expression he now turned on her.
After all she had done to Ritz, how could she be so confident that he wouldn't look at her that way?
When she woke, she was tormented by a sense of loss that brought her to the verge of tears. Ritz wasn't that kind of person. She knew that perfectly well, yet she had these dreams because she couldn't fully believe it herself. She tried to tell herself that, but bad thoughts only bred more bad thoughts.
Anna had her friends. She had comrades, and an adoptive father. She loved them all dearly. But they would all leave her behind and die first.
And the person she loved most had a lifespan of only a thousand years.
Everyone would pass her by, and then humanity, and all the animals, would vanish, leaving Anna standing alone in a barren wasteland.
No one. No one at all. An eternity, all alone…
ARE YOU CRYING?
The high-pitched voice she had grown used to asked. Lying on the bed, she glanced over to see the hemispherical T.
"Yeah."
WHAT IS WRONG?
"…I wonder what it feels like to never die."
As she murmured the words, T's green and red lights blinked on and off. She had recently realized that this was what it did when it was thinking.
"It's sad, isn't it? Because you'd end up all alone."
Not expecting an answer, she mumbled and buried her face in the pillow again. But T replied.
I, TOO, WILL NOT DIE, BUT I AM NOT SAD.
"…Why?"
BECAUSE I AM A MACHINE.
It was a familiar phrase. According to T, machines had no heart; they simply chose words from a predetermined list, no different from a rock on the ground.
"Is there nothing that makes you sad, T?"
When she asked again, T blinked its lights before answering.
IF THERE WAS SOMEONE WHO WOULD BE SAD IF I WERE TO BREAK, IT WOULD BE UNFORTUNATE. IF THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL SADNESS, THEN PERHAPS I WOULD BE SAD.
"Is there anyone like that for you, T?"
THERE IS NOT. THEREFORE, I AM NOT SAD.
"I see…"
Anna had someone. Someone who would lay down his own life for her.
"If you had someone like that, would you be unable to break?"
YES. I WOULD TAKE SELF-PRESERVATION INTO CONSIDERATION.
"…I'm the same. If I broke, he might not be able to go on living."
She murmured the words without thinking. Or maybe that was just her own assumption. Maybe Ritz would go on living his own life.
THAT PERSON IS?
Asked the question, she looked at T's blank form.
"The person I love most. You know, the one who looks just like the Darkness Spirit King from where you were. I think Ritz would be sad if something happened to me. And if something happened to Ritz, I don't think I could live either."
UNDERSTOOD.
With that sudden declaration, T spun around without a sound and glided away somewhere. She watched it go, dazed. After a short while, it returned with a bowl of warm soup, carrying it on the feather-like platform she had ridden on before.
HERE YOU ARE.
Though the soup was presented to her, she had no energy to sit up, and she just stared at it blankly. T blinked its lights and spoke.
YOU HAVE NOT EATEN FOR SEVERAL DAYS. PLEASE TAKE SELF-PRESERVATION INTO CONSIDERATION.
"But…"
EVEN WITH AN ETERNAL LIFESPAN, IT IS POSSIBLE TO STARVE TO DEATH.
"Oh…"
A LONG LIFESPAN AND IMMORTALITY ARE DIFFERENT. IF YOU ARE TO CONSIDER SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU SHOULD EAT.
That was true. Even with a long life, one could still die from a serious injury. Ritz himself had been on the verge of death several times. Having a long lifespan and being able to live it out were two different things.
She slowly sat up and, as prompted, took the spoon and brought it to her lips. Strangely, it was pot-au-feu, her favorite. It was as if it knew her tastes. Feeling the consideration of T and whoever had made this, she ate.
When she finished and took a breath, T carried the bowl away somewhere and returned after cleaning up.
SHALL WE GO?
The sudden invitation confused her.
AS YOU ARE, YOU WILL BREAK AGAIN. I HAVE DETERMINED THAT A CONVERSATIONAL PARTNER IS NECESSARY TO PREVENT YOU FROM BREAKING.
"For you, T?"
THE ADMINISTRATOR, AS INFERRED FROM THE DATA.
"The administrator… you mean Kuchiba?"
She didn't want to go to Kuchiba. But as she thought that, T blinked its lights and denied it.
THE ADMINISTRATOR IS OUR MASTER. HE IS CALLED 'GOD' BY THEIR CLAN.
"God…"
If what Kuchiba said was true, then God was her father.
The moment she realized that, a desire stronger than she could have imagined welled up inside her.
I want to see my father's face. Even if he's a god, he should still be my blood-related parent.
If so, he might tell her everything. What her existence was, and whether her lifespan was truly eternal. The idea that she might live forever was merely Kuchiba's speculation, after all.
Perhaps the truth was different, and only God truly knew.
As she thought that, her energy slowly began to return. No matter how much of a disciple of God Kuchiba was, he couldn't possibly know everything about him. If that were the case, there was a chance Kuchiba's information was wrong, so she couldn't pass up the chance to go and confirm it for herself.
And if she went to God… Orphe would surely be there.
If this was the person that Orphe served, maybe he was someone she could reason with. And since Orphe was Franz's master, she could ask God to stop the attacks on Ritz and the others and summon them to His side.
If that happened, she might be able to see everyone soon.
Learning the truth, and reuniting with her friends. Neither of those things could be achieved by moping in this room. Even Anna understood that.
Act before you think. That was her and Ritz's creed.
"Is it okay for me to go?"
YES. HE HAS BEEN WAITING. SHALL I GUIDE YOU?
"Yeah."
With a nod, Anna stood up. She was a little unsteady, but she could walk. Looking around the room where she'd spent the past few days, there was no luggage to take, nothing at all. The bag she had used so carefully since leaving Vishnu, the sturdy clothes she had bought before leaving Sears—there were no mementos here. She might not get her belongings back, but she had regained her spirit.
Anna's journey wasn't over yet.
"Alright!"
She gave herself a small pep talk. It's okay. I can suppress my fear with the truth.
PLEASE FOLLOW ME.
"Okay."
She silently followed T as it led the way.
She, barefoot, and the silently moving T advanced down a pure white corridor where not a sound could be heard. This time, she didn't meet anyone else. It seemed it was true that this floor was made only for God.
They silently walked down the white hallway and eventually arrived before the familiar statues of the Goddess and the Spirit Kings. The gate, supported by magnificent sculptures, was, upon closer inspection, elegant and beautiful, filled with motifs of flowers, plants, and animals.
She suddenly remembered Kuchiba on that trading island far from Suien, surrounded by birds. His all-black attire, the cruel smile he showed them. But if his personality was truly as it seemed, would birds flock to him like that?
Animals were all skilled at reading people's hearts. They would never approach a scary person. And wild seabirds would surely be even more cautious. Maybe Kuchiba was a kind person. Maybe he was strict with people, but kind to animals.
He might be kind to animals, but right now, Kuchiba was trying to kill her friends.
SHALL I OPEN IT?
The question brought her back to her senses.
"Yes. Please."
While T opened the door, she gently touched the statue of the Darkness Spirit King. Standing on her tiptoes, she reached out with both hands and touched its cheek. The statue, polished to a cool, smooth finish, looked more and more like Ritz the longer she looked at it.
"Please. Make it here, no matter what."
In place of the absent Ritz, she offered a small prayer to the statue.
"I'll be waiting for you."
IT IS OPEN.
"Okay."
Guided by T, she once again stepped into that forest. The air was filled with a rich scent of green, almost unbelievable for being inside a building. Compared to the loneliness of the room she had been in, this forest felt pleasant.
But this was the tomb of the Darkness Spirit King and the holy land of the Clan of Darkness. The fact that their holy land was inside a building was also a surprise. Looking up, she could still only see the sky through latticed windows, unable to tell the weather or anything else.
Following T, she stepped onto the grass, savoring the feeling of the soft earth as she walked through the forest, eventually passing the spring and the Spirit King's tomb. After a short stroll, she reached the edge of the forest, where there was an ancient, jet-black door.
THIS IS THE PLACE.
With those words, T stopped moving. It seemed Anna had to open this jet-black door herself. When she looked at T, its lights were blinking repeatedly. She somehow felt she knew what T was trying to say.
"Is this goodbye?"
MY MAIN BODY CAN GO NO FURTHER.
"I see. Thank you."
She stroked its smooth head, and T's lights blinked. Was it happy? Anna couldn't tell.
She placed her hand on the polished, jet-black door, and it opened smoothly, without resistance. It was a room of obsidian, shining with a blackness as if submerged in darkness.
Held-up torches illuminated the room, making even the air seem to shimmer.
In the center of that room stood Kuchiba, clad in a robe with gold embroidery that concealed him from head to toe.
It was beautiful, very similar to the robe the high priest of the Main Temple of Light had worn during the dedicatory dance of the New Festival Month in Sears. This must be Kuchiba's formal attire as the High Priest.
"Kuchiba…"
"Welcome, Princess. This is the Room of Dialogue, which only the High Priest is permitted to enter."
"Dialogue… with God?"
"Indeed. It was from here that I knew where you all were."
Following Kuchiba's forward gaze, her eyes scanned the room and noticed a giant gemstone. It had the same brilliance as the ones they carried, but it was so large she couldn't have held it with both hands.
"With this?"
"That is correct. I knew your locations by the light projected here."
As if drawn to it, Anna stood before the large gem. A map was projected within the light, and on it, two shining dots were indicated.
"These lights?"
"The positions of those who hold the gems. It was for your journey that God first marked this. Watching this, I followed you through the Path of the God."
"The Path of the God?"
At the unexpected words, she looked up at Kuchiba, who gave a small nod.
"It is an underground passage connecting the holy sites of each country, permitted for use only by God and the High Priest."
"So that's how…"
That was how Kuchiba had always managed to get ahead of their group of four on their journey. The reason he could cross from country to country in a timeframe that even the travel-seasoned Ritz couldn't possibly comprehend was because of this.
Then did this shining dot point to Ritz and Franz?
"Could this be…?"
"The whereabouts of the failure and the half-wit, yes."
"They're alive?"
"Unfortunately, yes. For now."
Kuchiba said it with a look of frustration, yet somehow as if it were someone else's problem.
"…If my friends make it this far, what will you do?"
"They will not arrive. They are being pursued by an elite unit of the Giant Clan."
"But they will arrive."
"You have such faith in them, do you not? In your companions."
"Of course."
"Even in that pathetic failure?"
At Kuchiba's scornful words, Anna looked straight back into his eyes.
"Yes. More than anyone else in this world, I believe in Ritz."
For a moment, a pained expression crossed Kuchiba's face, but he nodded with a bitter smile.
"If they manage to reach this room, I will ask God whether they may enter His domain alive."
"That's a promise, then."
"Indeed."
Looking up at Kuchiba, who seemed somewhat less spirited than before, he gave a small smile and silently took Anna's hand. Noticing the complete absence of the malice that had been there before, she followed him without a word.
Kuchiba led her to another door, behind the altar.
"Here?"
When she asked, Kuchiba smiled.
"So it has been passed down. Unfortunately, from here on is God's domain. I myself have never entered."
Lacking his usual harshness, she stared at the remarkably calm Kuchiba.
"What is it?"
"It's just… you're throwing me off. Why are you being so kind?"
At her bewildered question, Kuchiba gave a wry smile.
"Whether I am strict or kind, you are bewildered. You are a handful."
As she continued to stare at the strangely forlorn Kuchiba, he quietly swept the hem of his robe aside and knelt before Anna almost soundlessly.
"You are indeed the child of my God. I can hide nothing in your presence."
"Huh…?"
"You are a curious one. You try to see through my thoughts. Even though I am nothing but an enemy to you all."
It was true that when she hadn't known if Ritz was alive or dead, she had thought of Kuchiba as a hateful enemy. And if her friends were to die, she would never forgive him. But as she had just seen, her friends were alive. In that case, they would surely make it here. For some reason, she could feel it.
If she believed, it would surely become true. That's why the threats against her friends no longer scared her.
Besides, Anna's creed was that there were no truly evil people in this world.
"What are you really angry about? It's not Ritz and the others, is it?"
"…You ask me to say it? Is that an order?"
"Hmm. If you'll talk if I make it an order, then I'll make it an order."
As she said this thoughtfully, Kuchiba's lips curved into a smile.
"An order from you, the daughter of my God, is the same as an order from God himself. I have no choice."
"Kuchiba…?"
"You, who are going to the land of God, and I will likely never meet again, and from now on, you will be with my God alone. In that case, allow me to make my confession."
His words carried the resolve that he would not let her friends pass, but Anna said nothing and simply watched him. No matter what Kuchiba tried to do to them, her friends would absolutely come for her. Because she believed that, she was unwavering.
Noticing this, Kuchiba looked up at Anna for a moment with a bitter smile, but then lowered his gaze again and began to speak as if muttering to himself.
"From childhood, our clan is raised to believe that becoming the hands and feet of God and protecting His principles is the highest honor. We grow up with no other absolute value, and if chosen as High Priest, we fight to maintain the world's order, following the words of our God with the utmost honor and pride."
That probably meant starting wars or assassinating people. Those actions, which Anna couldn't comprehend, seemed to be connected to protecting the demi-humans they called the higher races. She had witnessed that firsthand in Suien.
"But my other half, born and raised with me, Moegi, did not approve of those values. We were siblings born of the High Priest's lineage, expected to lead Zeum in the future, yet she always recognized animals, plants, spirits, and humans as equals, as lives of nature. Among us, she was different, a heretic. But while I, as her other half, despised that heretical sister, I also deeply loved her broad heart."
With that, Kuchiba paused and murmured with a sigh.
"But more than her, I revered, feared, and loved my God. I live with serving God as my own joy. That has not changed, even now. So when she left Zeum, I felt a sense of loss, along with anger. What did she mean by turning her back on the love of my God? For our clan, it was an unforgivable act, worthy of ten thousand deaths."
She was suddenly reminded of Ciela. She was a relaxed person when she spoke, but if for even a moment her eyes grew distant, she possessed a hard beauty that made it impossible to read what she was thinking. She wondered what Ciela had thought about betraying her clan.
"But Auntie is alive."
When she stated this, staring intently at Kuchiba, he let out a quiet breath.
"Yes, she survived. By the hand of none other than my God."
The conflicting emotions within Kuchiba were palpable. The self who had to hate his sister as a traitor, despite loving her, and the God who saved the sister who should have been punished for betraying the candidates for High Priest.
But to Kuchiba, both were beings to be loved. And for Kuchiba, God was the object of his one and only faith, his everything.
So perhaps the only thing Kuchiba could do was hate his sister.
"After that, I was chosen by God as the High Priest. My heart trembled with the great honor. With this, I could protect the truth of the world alongside my God. I could dedicate myself to correcting its principles. But on the other hand, a lingering resentment remained."
Kuchiba's fingertips gently grasped something inside his robe.
"God gave me the highest power and honor. But the one God loved was Moegi."
He loved his sister, his other half, but because he believed in, protected, and loved God, his hatred for Moegi, upon whom that same God showered unconditional love, festered, and his affection twisted. As an orphan without siblings, Anna couldn't know the depth of that emotion, but Kuchiba's suffering was plain to see.
"Time passed, and Moegi's child appeared to learn the truth of the world. The Eye of the Spirit King, a signpost of God's love—it was not I who held it, but Moegi's child. Despite being a failure who could neither control nor even see spirits… despite being a half-breed with the blood of the Clan of Light… God loved Moegi's child again. If that's the case, what is this position of High Priest? Am I nothing but the hands and feet that serve my God? Does that mean I am a being that can never receive God's love…? I no longer understood."
Kuchiba looked up at Anna with a lonely smile. Unable to say anything, Anna watched him.
"And then you appeared, Princess. And you, too… loved Moegi's child."
Speechless, Anna stared at Kuchiba. Then, Kuchiba looked up at Anna with determined, dark brown eyes. They were surprisingly similar to Ritz's, and she couldn't help but meet his gaze.
"It was always Moegi who was given the honor of being loved as a disciple of God. But I, as a disciple of God, was destined to protect His principles. Therefore, it is my fate to continue the fight to protect the principles of the world that God seeks, and to realize the world He desires. That is all I can offer to God."
As she gazed into his calm eyes, Kuchiba faintly smiled.
"Therefore, I will show no mercy, even to your companions. I will hunt them down with all my might."
With that, Kuchiba stood and turned his back to Anna.
"Now, my confession is over. You may go, Princess. My God is beyond that door."
"Kuchiba… um…"
"It is customary to forget what you have heard in a confession. For the admonished, simply speaking it aloud brings relief."
"But…"
"The doubt within me has vanished now that I have spoken it. I have something I must do. I pray you do what you must, as well."
Leaving Anna, who couldn't find the words, Kuchiba exited the Room of Dialogue. Left all alone, Anna stared at the jet-black door before her.
Beyond this door, there is God.
The Omniscient God whom Kuchiba yearned for, adored, and worshipped.
And Orphe, the one and only master whom Franz wished to see again, is there too. The goal of their four-person journey was here.
She was hesitant to reach it alone, but she knew that having come this far, she had no choice but to go. There was no turning back now.
"…Alright!"
Clenching her fists, she psyched herself up and placed her hands on the obsidian door. It was heavier than the entrance had been.
"Heavy…!"
She pushed the door with both hands, and it suddenly swung wide open, flooding the space with light.
"So bright…"
Her eyes, unaccustomed to the light, narrowed. Gradually, her vision began to return.
There was no sign of God, only a cylindrical, pure white space. Like the room she had been in, it had no windows yet was brightly lit.
As she slowly stepped inside, the door closed quietly behind her. Panicked that someone had closed it, she hurried back to where the door had been, but the entrance she had come through was sealed so tightly there was barely a gap, looking like nothing more than a wall.
"The door… it's gone."
She murmured and touched it, but it didn't feel like it would open. If she couldn't figure out how to move forward, she would be trapped. For a moment, she thought it might be a trap set by Kuchiba, but she knew the Kuchiba who had just confessed wouldn't do something like this. So, what was this situation?
Confused, she walked around inside the cylinder and found a flat object like the one T had used to open the door. She cautiously peered at it and saw that something like a navy-blue glass plate was embedded in it.
She looked, but there were no numbers like the ones T had been manipulating. It was probably different from the one T had used.
"This is a problem… If only T were here, I'd know what to do."
As she muttered, she suddenly heard T's voice.
PLEASE TOUCH THE BIOMETRIC AUTHENTICATION SYSTEM.
"T!?"
I AM NOT WO-T, BUT I AM THE SAME. PLEASE BE AT EASE.
"Okay. Should I just touch this?"
She pointed to the navy-blue glass in front of her, and the voice answered.
YES.
"Um, like this… maybe?"
She gently touched it, and T's voice replied.
BIOMETRIC CODE RECOGNIZED.
"So this is it."
She let out a sigh of relief, and T spoke to her quietly.
WELCOME BACK. ENEONEA NEUMANN.
"Eneonea…?"
It was a name her ears were very familiar with—the name of the Goddess.