Chapter 218 - <25>
The summer days were long. Anna sat hugging her knees, staring blankly at the scenery spread out below her feet.
The clouds hanging over the mountains, which remained covered in snow and shone silver, never rose above a certain height. Since they were all at the same height, the clouds looked like waves on the sea, and the peaks of the high mountains poking their heads out looked like islands floating in the sea.
Orphe had told her that this was called a sea of clouds.
The sun would probably start to set soon, but the still-drifting clouds, along with the snow, softly reflected the sunlight and shone. A gentle, silver-shining sea of clouds.
Clouds, yet a sea, how romantic.
Normally, she would have told the person next to her, but now Anna was alone. And she would probably be alone from now on.
Sighing, she buried her face in her knees.
When she had gone into the house for lunch earlier, the entrance to the basement was open. When she asked Ark, she said that the three of them and Orphe were there.
The moment she heard that, she had rushed out of the house. Orphe had said he would talk tomorrow, but the three of them probably couldn't wait that long. So they were probably talking about everything right now.
She had wanted him to wait just one more day, just one more day. She had wanted a grace period to make up her mind. She had come to believe, on her own, that knowing the truth was about convincing herself and growing. She had believed that there was no such thing as a truth better left unknown. But now she realized that there really was a truth that would have made her happier not knowing.
If she hadn't known, she would have returned to Sears with everyone. She would have reunited with Joe, Annie, and Evans, and with the Queen, Greig, and Sir Gerald, and with Kenny, Altman, and many other kind soldiers, and then…
She would have been able to properly check the answer to her homework with Ritz.
She would have been able to say that she loved him more than anyone.
She closed her eyes and remembered the glass tube called 'The Cradle'. The fear she had felt the moment she heard she was born from Eneonea's hair in that tube was still unforgettable. What a terrifying being, to have neither a mother nor a father. That's why when she reunited with Orphe, he had said, 'If you say so, then it's so, but if you say it's not, then it's not.'
Orphe and Anna were not related by blood. But it was Orphe who had created Anna from Eneonea's hair. In that sense, he was probably her father.
And she had never imagined that the Goddess Eneonea was such a terrifying person. She had always believed that the goddess loved and watched over everything in the world, but to think that she had actually been cursing humans.
And she had never thought that she herself had been created because Ritz existed. She understood Orphe's loneliness well. To continue living for thousands of years all by himself was something Anna could never endure.
But why was it Anna?
He had said he wanted to engrave a happy scene in his eyes to fill his own loneliness, but if that were the case, he should have sought a partner for himself. He should have found a partner who would accept him completely and continue to live together.
At that moment, a sigh escaped her. She realized that Orphe couldn't do that. And she understood that it was the same for Anna.
Orphe probably thought that he couldn't trap another person in this 'garden' forever for his own sake. So he was thinking of imprinting the happiness of the people he loved in his eyes and carrying that happy feeling with him.
Anna was the same. No matter how much she loved Ritz, she didn't want to sacrifice Ritz's life for the sake of herself, who was created from a woman's hair. There must be many women who could be Anna for Ritz. Ritz had just been unaware of it because he had kept his heart firmly closed until now, but if he opened his heart, he was a person who could definitely find happiness on his own.
So she didn't want to cause trouble in his life for the sake of someone like her.
Moreover, there was no way Ritz, who had learned that truth, would cherish Anna as he had before. He was bound to think it was creepy. And above all, if Ritz, who loved freedom, learned that he had been forced into a created partnership, Anna's existence would only become a nuisance.
Until now, they had been able to connect their bonds because of the relationship they had built up over time, from traveling companions to partners, to precious people. That was very important.
But if they were told that it was created by someone, that it was destined to be this way, dismissing all the precious things they had built up, the kindness and bonds they had accumulated would surely crumble.
Ritz was kind, so he might treat Anna in a way that wouldn't hurt her. He might feel sorry for Anna, who was a lonely being, and cherish her.
But that, which was forced upon him by someone else, would surely become a burden to Ritz.
She thought it would be happy if they could share their hardships, sorrows, and joys together, but she didn't want to become a source of pain.
In that case, it was best for her to live quietly here… in this garden of Orphe's, as a parent and child created in 'The Cradle'.
Even though she knew that, her sadness and hesitation wouldn't disappear at all. If Ritz were kind to her, she was afraid she would selfishly say, 'Even if you know everything, love me the most.'
"Father… what… what should I do…"
Faith and love. Two of the most important things in Anna's life were now slipping through her fingers.
But even if her feelings for the goddess she had faith in disappeared and she abandoned her prayers to Eneonea, her gratitude and reverence for the spirits she commanded would not disappear. Even after hearing that story, her feelings for the spirits were still alive. So Anna's inner self was still filled with faith.
But she had been denied the right to hold love for a precious person. From the moment she realized her feelings were love, her heart had always been filled with one person.
She had many other friends and companions and precious things, but when the love for just one person disappeared, she felt as if she had become empty.
She was once again reminded of how much Ritz's existence had swelled in her heart, and all she could do was sigh.
"Falling in love is… so hard…"
She had fallen in love with someone for the first time, and she had come to love him so much that it was unbearable, and yet she had to give up because she would be a burden.
She couldn't help but be impressed when she thought about how many people in the world had experienced such things.
How do people give up on love?
How can people come to dislike the person they love?
She didn't know such things.
How do people fall in love with someone else?
How do they find a precious person? It seemed that Anna couldn't do what everyone else seemed to be doing.
For Anna, one person in her lifetime was enough. After seeing off Ritz, who was leaving this garden, she would probably never love anyone else again.
He was a person so precious that she would have given her life, her everything. He had a big body, but he looked at Anna with unreliable eyes, like a child. And yet, when Anna was in trouble, he was a reliable person who would always hold her in his strong and gentle arms.
And though his speech was rough, his low, gentle voice was her favorite…
"Hey, this is a nice view."
Right, a voice just like this…?
She jumped up in surprise.
"R-R-R…"
"…Is that something to be so scared about?"
Ritz was standing there, looking exasperated. She was so surprised that her heart was pounding and she couldn't speak. Ritz burst out laughing at her.
"First you're making a noise like an autumn bug, and now you're a goldfish out of water."
At his completely normal tone, just as it had always been, Anna finally came back to her senses.
It's Ritz, the real Ritz is right in front of me…
The moment she thought that, blood rushed to her head, and she stood up as if she'd been shot.
"Anna?"
"I'm sorry!"
Not yet. She wasn't mentally prepared to be told goodbye yet. Because Ritz knew that Anna was a created human. She instinctively ran into the forest, and Ritz shouted at her.
"Don't run!"
She had never been yelled at like that before, so her legs froze and she couldn't move.
He's angry, what should I do?
Did he think he had been deceived? Was he angry that she had been pretending to be human all this time, even though she wasn't, even though she was created from a strand of hair?
Thinking that made her so sad and hurt that she felt like she was about to cry. Unable to move, she stood there, desperately holding back her tears, as Ritz slowly approached, stepping on the soft undergrowth. Unable to even raise her face, she stared at the grass at her feet, and Ritz, who had stood in front of her, reached out his hand.
He's going to hit me… For a moment, she tensed her body, and the next moment, she was being held tightly.
"Finally found you. I thought you'd be around here somewhere."
Surprised by Ritz's completely unexpected action, she forgot to even resist.
"Why…"
Why did you come? How did you know where I was? She wanted to ask, but her words came out as a hoarse whisper. But Ritz laughed and answered her.
"Knowing you, I figured you'd probably be on the side where you can see Yuresla, so I was searching along this cliff. Glad I found you."
Force was put into his arms. She knew she couldn't escape from his gentle and strong arms, so she pressed her forehead against his broad chest.
She could smell Ritz. She could feel his warm and strong heartbeat. Anna's favorite place in this whole world. When she gently closed her eyes and leaned against his chest, Ritz murmured from above her head.
"You were planning on ditching me, weren't you?"
"Eh… ?"
At the truly unexpected words, she looked up, and Ritz was staring straight at Anna.
"You were probably going to make some excuse about being a bother or something, and then say something like 'I guarantee you'll definitely find someone else important, Ritz,' right?"
It was exactly as he said, so she was at a loss for words.
"You're making a face like 'how did you know'."
"Because…"
She was at a loss for what to say, and Ritz let out an exaggerated sigh. This sigh wasn't the sigh he made when he was angry, Anna knew that. Staring at his face, Ritz gave a wry smile and stroked Anna's hair.
"There's no 'because' about it. Of course I'd know. How long do you think I've been watching only you?"
She didn't understand what Ritz meant, and as she stared up at him, Ritz seemed to be hesitating about various things, and after thinking with a strange expression, he eventually let out a small sigh and smiled.
"Roundabout ways of speaking don't work on you, do they…"
That probably meant there was something he wanted to say to Anna directly. Was he finally going to say his last words to Anna after hearing Orphe's story? She braced herself. She didn't want to hear it, but she had to be prepared.
But Ritz continued to gently stroke Anna's hair and began to speak quietly.
"I'm moving up my plans, on my own. I'm going to give you my answer for when we get to Sears, right now."
"Eh, eh?"
Again, at the unexpected words, she was stunned and looked up at his face.
"Wait, Ritz! Because, um… you've been listening to Orphe-san's story, right?"
"The answer you were checking might not have been a good one, you know?"
It was Ritz's words with a laugh, but Anna looked down and nodded, thinking that possibility also existed. For some reason, she had thought that when they arrived in Sears, Ritz would absolutely return the same feelings as Anna. But that possibility also existed.
"You're right… There are some answers that don't need to be brought all the way to Sears…"
She had intended to say that with a smile, but her own voice was out of her control and became something between a sob and a laugh. And yet, for some reason, it was Ritz who became flustered.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Sorry, that was my bad."
"It's okay. I understand. I'm prepared."
She murmured softly, and Ritz scratched his head in a troubled way.
"No, it's really my bad. It's just that… until now, I've never been honest about… what should I say…"
She didn't really understand what he was trying to say. But she knew well that Ritz was troubled. Because Anna had always been watching Ritz too.
"It's okay. It's okay, you know?"
She gently moved her body away from Ritz's arms. It was comfortable and she wanted to stay in his arms longer, but it was about time to stop being spoiled.
"Ritz, thank you. If you're too kind to me, I'll get the wrong idea."
"The wrong idea…?"
"Yes. I'll get the wrong idea that Ritz likes a creepy creature created from a strand of hair."
"Wait…"
"Thank you for hugging me. Thank you for not pushing me away. Just that makes me so happy. You were pitying me, right? Because you're so kind, Ritz…"
"So, wait!"
She moved away from the irritated Ritz. But Ritz's hand firmly grabbed Anna's wrist and wouldn't let go.
"Let go."
Her voice became a pleading, unreliable one. But Ritz looked straight into Anna's eyes and declared firmly.
"No."
"But… I was created in that… in 'The Cradle'. I was created to be by Ritz's side, you know?"
"So?"
Ritz, who said that nonchalantly, stared back at Anna.
"So, what is it?"
At Ritz's interrogating tone, she couldn't help but become emotional.
"…It's creepy, isn't it? You hate it, don't you? I'm an unidentifiable creature, you know? I don't have a father or a mother. My origin is a single strand of hair!"
In her mind, she was floating in the orange-filled glass tube. The self in the glass was staring straight at her. The eyes that slowly opened with a smile were the same green as Anna's…
Such a scene flashed, and she shivered, hugging herself.
"I'm scared of myself too. I was a little scared of not knowing who I was before, but this is different. I'm an incomprehensible, creepy creature!"
By the end, she was shouting.
Creepy, unidentifiable, scary…
Anna, who was created from Eneonea's hair, is she Eneonea?
Or is she a completely different Anna?
Is Anna, who was created from Eneonea, human?
Or is she a monster…?
It was all inside her, but she had swallowed the words without saying them. If she said such things, she would become even more scared of herself, and she felt she shouldn't say them because Orphe was there.
But still, Ritz remained silent and wouldn't let go of Anna's hand.
"To hug such a creature, there's nothing but pity, right?!"
Shouting, she looked up into Ritz's dark brown eyes, and was taken aback by how surprisingly clear they were. It might have been the first time she had seen such eyes. Without any room to read anything from them, Anna continued to shout while shaking off his hand.
"And you hate following a created destiny, right Ritz? You're always saying, 'I am who I am,' or 'it has nothing to do with me'! You're going to live freely, aren't you?"
"I am living freely."
"See, I knew it. That's why I'll only be a bother to Ritz!"
She realized that warm streams were running down her cheeks. Even though she wasn't supposed to cry.
"If you're going to get tired of pitying a creepy creature and abandon it somewhere, then don't pick me up here in the first place!"
Her breathing hitched, and it became hard to breathe.
"Let me go! Leave me alone!!"
No matter how fiercely she struggled, there was no way she could break free from the hand of the mercenary captain Ritz. She knew that. But still, unable to suppress the raging emotions within her, she continued to cry, shout, and scream.
"I'm not human! I'm not supposed to be involved with the people I love anymore! I'm a created monster!"
One by one, the faces of the people she loved floated before her. She was different from them. She shouldn't think about wanting to spend time with them anymore, or wanting to laugh with them anymore. She didn't want to twist everyone's smiles with fear and disgust.
"Here, I have no choice but to die alone! I'm not supposed to be involved with anyone anymore!"
Because I love them. Because everyone is precious to me.
So I can't see them again, and I don't want to see them again.
"Everyone is bound to think I'm creepy. They're bound to be scared! I'm scared of receiving everyone's fearful gazes!"
A fear that made her hair stand on end crept up on her, and her breath caught. She continued to scream out her feelings as if to exhale that breath.
"If everyone is going to be scared of me and think I'm creepy, I'd rather be here alone. I don't want to be alone among everyone!"
Anna, who had been rampaging emotionally, but after a while, as her composure returned, she was driven by a terrifying sense of impatience. Had she ever thrown her emotions at someone like this before? She felt like she had been trying to be a good girl ever since she could remember.
For her adoptive father, for the orphans, and more than anyone, for herself. She couldn't be selfish, and she never thought of throwing her emotions at someone. She was afraid of losing the warm hands by doing so. If she was a good girl, the people around her would respond in kind. So she had always pushed her pain, loneliness, and sadness deep inside herself and forced a lid on them. That led to Anna's usual cheerful act.
She wanted to be a good girl. She wanted the people she loved to love her. She didn't know her parents, she didn't know who she was, and she didn't want them to hate such a person. She had only just now realized the feelings that had been hidden inside her.
Perhaps, even before she knew the truth, she had realized somewhere in her heart that she was a heretic.
That's why… she wanted everyone to like her.
And eventually, so that just one person would say they loved her more than anyone else, to seek the one and only hand that would never let go…
That's why she had been trying to keep a tight lid on her emotions even in front of Ritz. And yet… even though she had to keep the lid on, especially at a time like this, she couldn't just laugh it off like she always did.
"Ugh, uuuu…"
A sob escaped her. She couldn't compose herself, nor could she cover up the emotions she had laid bare. While saying 'let go, leave me alone,' she strongly wished for him to help her, to be by her side.
"Waaaaaahhhhhh~"
For the first time since she could remember, she cried out loud like a child. She couldn't do anything about herself, who was just being tossed about by emotions she couldn't control.
She cried out with a voice louder than she thought she could, and shed more tears than she thought possible. She hadn't known she had so many tears that she had been holding back for so long. Something that had been weighing on her heart flowed out of her body along with her tears.
She didn't know how much time had passed, but Anna, who was in tatters from crying and still sobbing, somehow managed to suppress her emotions and was breathing heavily with her shoulders.
During that time, Ritz, who claimed not to be a patient person, did not let go of her hand, nor did he say a single word, but just watched Anna gently and continued to hold her arm.
As she was adjusting her ragged breathing with tears still streaming down her face, Ritz asked gently.
"Feel better?"
She looked up, and Ritz was smiling with gentle eyes. Even though she had thrown her emotions at him, even though she had rampaged, even though she had thought that was how she would lose the kind people in her life.
And yet, Ritz was right there in front of her, unchanged. Even though she was a created, artificial life form, even though she had acted emotionally like an immature child, he was still there, unchanged…
"If you let it all out, you'll feel a little better, right? How about it? Have you calmed down a little?"
At his calm words, she realized for the first time that she could breathe easily. Ever since she had come here and learned the truth, it had been painful even to breathe.
And the terrifying disgust that had been overflowing, and the sense of despair that made her vision go dark, had lightened just a little.
"I'm sorry…"
"It's fine. More importantly, your face is a mess, you know?"
Ritz said that in his usual teasing tone, filled with a worried kindness. Indeed, it was a terrible situation. She was in an incredibly messy state. To think that he had seen her in such a childish, tear-stained state, she felt so miserable she couldn't raise her face.
Sobbing, she silently fumbled in her pocket, took out a handkerchief, and wiped her tears. She also blew her nose. The misery of rampaging, crying, and being covered in snot and tears was too much, and she kept her head down, biting her lip and staring at her feet, when Ritz placed a hand on her head. That hand gently stroked her head.
Wasn't Ritz completely fed up with this Anna? Didn't he think she was a troublesome child? When she timidly looked up at Ritz, Ritz was looking at this tattered Anna gently, without saying a word.
"It's okay, you've become cute."
Looking at Ritz, who winked and said that jokingly, she strangely understood. 'Oh, I see.'
This person was none other than Ritz.
He was the one and only person who had supported her all this time. Ritz was trying to carry her burden by listening to her words.
"You're the type to bottle things up. You'll feel better if you let off some steam, you know?"
Without either affirming or denying the words Anna had scattered while crying and screaming, Ritz, seeing that Anna had calmed down, gently let go of the hand he was holding and urged her to sit.
Even though she had been trying so hard to run away, she followed Ritz's words with a surprising ease, and as if all her strength had left her, she sat down on the undergrowth without thinking.
Before her, the sea of clouds she had been looking at just moments before shone almost unchanged. She was thinking vaguely that no matter how much humans struggled, nature doesn't change, when she was suddenly hugged from behind.
Ritz, who had sat down behind Anna with his knees up, gently wrapped Anna in both his arms.
"If you don't like it, just say so. I'll let go."
At Ritz's joking words, she felt a sense of relief. This person hadn't changed at all. Even after knowing Anna's true identity, he still stayed by her side. Even after seeing the Anna who couldn't grow up and had a huge emotional outburst, he was still here with her.
Leaning gently against his warm chest, she was enveloped in Ritz's arms. Because she had been sweating from her tantrum, her slightly chilled back was now toasty and warm.
All desire to resist had completely vanished. At the same time, her desire to run away had also disappeared. It was here that Anna realized. Ritz could see through Anna's actions and thoughts quite well.
In that case, there was no point in resisting. It might be better to be honest and have her selfish requests heard. But before Anna could open her mouth, Ritz did.
"Continuing from before. I've never been honest with anyone about my feelings before. I've always thrown words at them, thinking they'd understand if I said it this way, or that they should be able to guess. But from now on, only for you, I'll be completely frank. Got it?"
Asked, she nodded silently. Ritz let out a small sigh and then said quietly.
"I love you. Not as a brother or a companion, but as a woman, I love you more than anyone."
They were the words she had always wanted to hear. But knowing her own origins, they were words she thought she would never be able to hear. So she was just so happy, it felt like a dream.
A tear fell onto Ritz's arm, which was holding her. She fought back the tears that seemed about to overflow without end. But Ritz seemed to have noticed Anna was crying, and held her tighter, continuing his words.
"I've been watching you for a long time. I'm much older than you, and I made a living as a mercenary, so I could never say it, though."
"…For a long time?"
"Yeah."
She hadn't noticed at all. Until just recently, she had been convinced that Ritz had someone else he loved.
"Since when?"
"That would be, well, about a year and a half ago…"
"A year and a half ago!?"
She was surprised at how long ago it was.
"Um… how long ago was that?"
"Right after Ed's assassination attempt."
"Ah…"
The scene from that time floated before her eyes. The cliff at the royal castle where Ritz had gotten angry at Anna for the first time, baring his emotions. At that time, Ritz had held her gently for the first time. But she couldn't remember at all if Ritz had shown any signs of that since then.
She wanted to see Ritz's face and tried to turn around, but she was held tightly by Ritz.
"Don't look at my face."
"Why?"
"…Well, you know… I'm not used to this."
A considerable amount of shyness was mixed in his voice. At that voice, which she had never heard before, her heart became soft and warm. Ritz was truly speaking honestly.
Suddenly, the events of Tashkur came back to Anna's mind. The night she had realized she loved Ritz. When they were alone, Ritz had said he still had someone he loved. He had said he had someone so important that he could understand Kamala's feelings of killing those who got in the way of her lover.
"Then, the person you liked that you mentioned in Tashkur was…"
"It was you, of course."
"So that's what it was…"
Remembering that night, she nodded deeply. Come to think of it, Ritz had said it was a misunderstanding.
"And yet you go and have some strange misunderstanding…"
Ritz groaned with a deep sigh.
"Because… Ritz and I are so far apart in age…"
"That's right. I'm quite a bit older…"
To Ritz, who laughed self-deprecatingly, saying he was 120 years older, she panicked.
"That's not it. I thought you wouldn't be interested in a child like me."
She hurriedly denied it, and Ritz, for some reason, dropped his head onto Anna's shoulder dejectedly.
"Would I hug a woman I'm not interested in every chance I get, or kiss her?"
"Is that so?"
"It is. Well, taking advantage of the fact that you didn't notice, I was pretty much doing as I pleased, though."
Her shoulder tickled. But she was happy and gently pressed her cheek against his head.
"But Ritz, don't you think I'm creepy?"
Her own birth was still scary to Anna. For example, that a single strand of her hair here could create another her was something that shouldn't actually happen. She asked softly, and Ritz murmured without raising his face.
"There's no way you're creepy."
"Why? I'm even scared of myself, so why are you okay with it?"
At her question, Ritz seemed to think for a while, but eventually slowly lifted his head from her shoulder.
"Eneonea dissolved herself and created the Clan of Light based on that. That's what Orphe said, right? Half of me is that Clan of Light. And Asagi created the Clan of Darkness by putting a piece of himself into that Clan of Light. That's also half of me. What's the difference between you and me?"
"It's different. Your ancestors might have been like that, but you have proper parents, Ritz."
"Then do I have to think my ancestors are creepy? The bloodline continues from my ancestors all the way down to me, you know?"
"But, I was created directly. If it were ancestors, it would be indirect, and… um…"
"Then let me ask you, is Verdigris, the elder of the Clan of Light who is several times older than me, more creepy than me?"
"Eh?"
At his words, she remembered those divine, intelligent green eyes and the beautiful silver hair like the surface of a shining river. There was no way that figure could be creepy. As she shook her head vigorously, Ritz said, "Well then," and asked again.
"The founder of the Clan of Light was creepy because they were created directly, but from the next generation onwards, it's different?"
"That's…"
"Where is the line between a created, creepy creature and the Clan of Light that continues to the present?"
"…Even if you ask me where the line is…"
No matter how much she thought about it, she didn't know. She had thought that being created in that place was scary and creepy. But if she thought about it as Ritz said, then Anna wasn't the only one who existed in this world in that way. From the human side, it would mean that all demi-humans, and from the Clan of Darkness side, all the higher races, were the same.
But Anna had never thought that they were scary or creepy, even though they had different characteristics from humans. She had always held feelings of respect, thinking they were beautiful or amazing. That feeling hadn't changed even now that she knew everything.
Her own existence was certainly scary, and she had thought she herself was creepy. But when asked where the line was between what was creepy and what wasn't, she realized for the first time that there was no such line.
"Whether you're born from 'The Cradle' or from a mother's womb, from the moment you're born, all living things are the same. Everyone starts from there, right?"
"Starts from there?"
"Yeah. Until you're born, you're kept alive by some kind of power, but after you're born, you have to breathe on your own, and you have to eat on your own. What's different about living like that?"
"…Not different… ?"
"Right? That's what I think."
Ritz said so firmly. As she replayed Ritz's words over and over in her head, something clicked. I see, she felt like she understood something. If she thought about it that way, maybe she wouldn't be scared of herself as a living being anymore.
She tilted her head slightly and looked at Ritz, and her eyes met Ritz's, who was looking at her.
"The idea you have of being creepy is probably a human perspective. If humans knew about 'The Cradle' and that all demi-humans were created that way, they might very well harbor such feelings towards them. That would lead to a terrible situation. So this is probably within the bounds of the truth that Kuchiba and the others must protect."
His words reminded her of Kuchiba's. Kuchiba had said he wanted to protect the higher races. And he was risking his life to protect this truth. That must be because if this fact became known, a war between demi-humans and humans would be inevitable.
And at the root of it was the fear and disgust towards unidentifiable creatures that Anna had been feeling until just now, so it would be impossible to even find a reason for the war to end.
She vaguely understood what it was that Kuchiba and the others were trying to protect. But Ritz smiled gently at that Anna.
"But as I've said many times, I'm not human, I'm on the demi-human side. And all demi-humans are living on the bloodline that connects to an ancestor with the same origin as you. Do you understand?"
"…So everyone is the same?"
"That's right. Race never changes with time or generations."
"Race… doesn't change…"
"Yeah. I wanted to be human. I hated my long lifespan. But no matter how much I struggled, I'm a demi-human, and on top of that, a child of the Clan of Light and Darkness. Now, I'm glad it's that way."
"Is… that so?"
"Yeah. Because if we weren't on the same side, I wouldn't have been able to meet you, right?"
Ritz said that as if it were a matter of course and ruffled her hair.
Indeed, Ritz was unbeatable. Whenever Ritz explained things, the reasons for them would settle neatly in her heart. It was Anna's freedom to think of herself as a creepy creature. But if she forced that on Ritz, who was a demi-human, then Ritz would also have to live his life despising himself as a similarly created creature.
"Is it okay to be the same?"
Even though she was created in 'The Cradle' from Eneonea's hair by a single person named Orphe, was it permissible for her to be the same as the demi-humans Ritz, Luan, Anil, Marguerite, Karl, Ciela, and Lef?
"Yeah. It's fine."
"Is it really okay to be forgiven for that?"
She murmured, and Ritz told her forcefully.
"Even if no one else forgives you, I will. You are the same as us."
She let out a big breath. Just him saying that made her strength leave her.
"I see… so it's okay…"
She was a special, unique individual. As a demi-human, she was one of a kind, but if she was the same as the many demi-human people she had met on her journey, then she didn't mind.
More than anything, if she was with the person she loved most, that was enough.
Relaxing and leaning against Ritz, she could feel Ritz let out a small sigh. It was a little funny to think that Ritz was also relieved to have convinced her. From the very beginning of the journey, Anna had thought that everything Ritz said was right, so it should have been easy for Ritz to win her over.
"Well, that's just my official stance. The truth is, I don't really care how you were born."
As Anna calmed down, Ritz said that lightly, as usual, and then held Anna tightly again with renewed strength.
"I don't care what you are. As long as you are you, that's all that matters to me."
"Ritz…"
"What's science, what's a created creature? To hell with all that. As long as you're here, and if I could wish for it, if you would love a hopeless guy like me as a man, then I don't need anything else. I… love you no matter what you are."
Saying so, Ritz fell silent. Ritz's breath tickled her hair. It was a pleasant feeling, and Anna closed her eyes. She had never felt Ritz so close before.
It was strange. Ritz always showed a different expression in front of Anna. But today… right now was the time she could feel Ritz's true heart the most.
Not pity, not compassion. Ritz now loved Anna and needed her from the bottom of his heart.
She gently unwrapped his arms and moved away, then sat down again in front of Ritz. She wanted to look him in the face and talk. And yet, Ritz kept his eyes slightly down and wouldn't look up.
As she stared at him, Ritz raised his face slightly, but immediately looked down and murmured.
"No, you can give me your answer after we get back to Sears."
"Why?"
Her eyes went wide at the unexpected words, and Ritz looked up.
"You know, I think I'm a troublesome adult for you. I made a living as a mercenary killing people, and as that bastard Jin said, I haven't lived a life of high moral character. And I'm pretty possessive, you know… I might become a bother to you."
Even though he had been so confident until now, his expression was wavering with a serious lack of confidence, like a child waiting for the answer to a test. Looking at Ritz like that, she understood something.
Even though he had strongly acknowledged Anna's existence, Ritz couldn't affirm himself. Though he was probably loved by his parents since he was born, he was not given a name by his clan, was scorned, and grew up losing sight of his own value, and had lived his life believing he had no worth.
So he was terribly anxious about whether he could be loved.
Edward, Patricia, and Shasta all treated this person like a child, and she understood why they were worried. He was a person who couldn't live unless someone was by his side, affirming and accepting him for his own sake as well as for Ritz's. That's why Edward had asked if he could give his own life.
But Edward was wrong.
Anna knew. Ritz and Anna were both lacking in some way. So by taking each other's hands and complementing each other's missing parts, they could find happiness.
It was surely not about dedicating themselves to each other.
It was by no means about one of them wearing themselves out, but with the two of them, Anna and Ritz, they could fulfill each other.
"Ritz."
"Hmm?"
"I want you to say it while looking at me."
She said that cheerfully, and Ritz looked up.
"I want you to say it looking at my face, not from behind. Then I'll put it into words properly too."
"…"
She could see Ritz flinch for a moment. From that flinch, Ritz's fear was transmitted. For Ritz, who had been denied his existence, it was scary to confess his feelings face-to-face and have them denied. That's why Ritz, as he had said to Anna, had always thrown words at people one-sidedly, telling them to guess.
But still, she wanted him to say it properly. That he would accept all of Anna, she wanted him to say that while looking her in the eye. Because that was the most important thing for Anna, who was a mystery even to herself.
"Are you going to leave me here? You're taking me back to Sears, right?"
She said that cheerfully, and Ritz looked up.
"Of course! Like hell I'm leaving you!"
"Then Ritz, tell me properly."
She stared straight at him, and Ritz froze, looking at Anna's face. She could see the bewilderment in his eyes as clearly as if she were holding it in her hand.
"It's not pity or anything… right?"
Me, who was created, me, who was placed on a created destiny… even so, you'll love me, right Ritz?
Without putting it into words, she stared at him, and Ritz let out a small sigh and looked at Anna as if he had made up his mind. And his hand slowly touched Anna's cheek.
"I'm done with being apart. Come back to Sears with me."
A large hand gently stroked her cheek.
"I'm a hopeless guy, but if you're okay with it, I want to live with you… forever."
A tear fell at Ritz's true feelings. Anna was the same. She was a lonely, weak person who always wanted someone to like her. But with Ritz, she felt like she could be strong. She could become the person who truly loved everyone.
So she wanted to live with him forever and ever.
"I love you, Anna."
She gently placed her hand on the large hand of Ritz, who had announced that quietly. A warm hand that was more reliable and precious than anyone else's.
"I like you too, Ritz."
She looked up, and for a moment, Ritz's face looked like he was about to cry. She gently reached out her hand and stroked his black hair.
"I love you more than my adoptive father, more than anyone else in the world."
"Anna…"
"I want to live with you. You know, I'm confident that I love Ritz much more than Ritz loves me."
It's okay. I'll never let go again.
Wanting to say that, she slowly moved her hand from his hair to his cheek, and at the same time, her lips were gently sealed.
She felt like she had been waiting for this moment forever. Yes, ever since that day they met in Vishnu.
From the warm and deep touch of their lips, a love she had never felt before overflowed.
My beloved person, my beloved time.
With an unbearable sense of happiness, she quietly told him in her heart.
Never, ever let me go. For the rest of my life, however long it may be, I will live with you forever.
Even Orphe didn't know how long Eneonea had lived. But he had heard that she could live for a little less than the Clan of Light. In that case, there was still nearly a thousand years.
Because this love had come true, Anna decided.
She would absolutely not die before Ritz.
She would absolutely live even one day longer than Ritz.
That was the best promise Anna could make to her most beloved person.
Eventually, the sunlight hitting her cheek began to shine red on her closed eyelids. She opened her eyes, and their lips slowly parted, neither one initiating it, and their eyes somehow met.
For some reason, the next moment, they both found it funny and burst out laughing. After laughing and rolling around in each other's arms for a while, they silently watched the sun sink into the sea of clouds.
The bright red color, this orange-tinged color, reminded her of 'The Cradle'. Since that day she had learned the truth, she had become a little scared of the sunset, and had come to dislike it a little. Evening meal, a warm fireplace, a lot of family called orphans. It had been her favorite time of day, where she could feel such happiness.
But watching it like this with Ritz, it was becoming her favorite sunset again. Just being with the person she loved made the world so very gentle.
"Hey, Anna."
"What is it?"
"Let's go to all sorts of places. There are still a lot of sights I want to show you."
She looked up at Ritz, and he was smiling more innocently than at any moment she had ever seen, like a child. Overjoyed, she nodded vigorously, and Ritz pulled Anna close, as if children were playing. She clung tightly to his arm.
"Let's eat a lot of different things! We've been on a rushed journey, so we haven't eaten any proper feasts."
"You're right. You've eaten a lot in different countries, haven't you, Ritz?"
"Of course. Leave it to me."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"After all, we have plenty of time."
"We do!"
Such an ordinary thing made her happy. She was just so happy that they could continue to walk together. She wanted to see various sights, eat various things, meet various people, and have many experiences.
With the person she loved more than anyone, just the two of them.
That was the journey called life, which they would walk together.
"You and I, we're the strongest, aren't we?"
Ritz said cheerfully, jokingly, but half-seriously.
"Yes!"
She nodded cheerfully and looked at Ritz. Another gentle kiss landed on her.
A kiss on the lips was a kiss of the one she loved most. She had been so fixated on such things, but she understood for the first time. A kiss from a lover was a form of happiness filled with gentleness and love.
"Now then, Anna, where do you want to go?"
Ritz, who had raised his face, asked in his usual cheerful and casual tone. She remembered this phrase, so she couldn't help but look up at Ritz, and Ritz laughed. This was the second time Ritz had asked Anna that.
The first time was when they left Saradio. Ritz had entrusted the direction of their journey to Anna.
"I want to see the sea!"
She said that just like that time. From those words, the direction of their journey was decided, and Franz also decided to proceed in that direction with them. And they met Edward, and they met many people in Sears.
Their journey started from there. And the long, long real journey starts from here.
"Alright, it's decided. Let's go to the sea! To the Royal Capital Sears, where our friends are waiting."
Ritz, who had stood up, held out his hand to Anna. She firmly grasped that big, gentle, and precious hand that she would never let go of again.
"Yes!"