Chapter 175 - The Unforgivable
I fall.
Into the bottomless abyss, endless and dark.
My consciousness dissolves into the void, my existence fading.
Terrified, yet still holding on.
...It is unforgivable.
Occasionally, playing with darkness isn't bad. I like the night. Perhaps, there's a sense of comfort in the dark, a natural tendency.
But not now, not at this moment.
I, Nijouoohashi Shinogami, am the president of the Kikyo Society, a new and burgeoning organization that proudly bears the Kikyo crest. I lead a group of over three hundred members, a collection of spirited and ambitious women. Many are rogues, but all are excellent and strong, each driven by ambition and a desire to improve. This is our Kikyo Society. They've entrusted their lives to me.
The tasks left to complete, the lives lost, and the ones left behind—there is still so much to do.
This isn't over. I won't let it end. It can't end like this.
A surge of intense emotion rises from the depths of my chest. Whether it's negative or not, I can't just stand by.
Fear transforms into anger.
I cannot die with this rage still burning within me.
My consciousness, nearly consumed by the darkness, is now aflame with fury. My body, filled with a volcanic force of magic, comes to life.
I imagine a single core running through my numb body.
I am not dead yet. If I'm not dead, then there must be something I can do. My body is far more resilient than most. It can't be impossible to move. No matter the condition, my body will respond to my will. It has to!
I open my invisible eyes wide and stretch out my numb arms.
Even if I can't use my physical strength, the magic surging within me is enough. I won't be unable to move.
I let out a silent, powerful cry. I can do this.
With a forceful effort, I push away the object that was compressing my chest and take a deep breath.
"Hack!"
The sensation of expelling liquid along with a cough. A searing pain shoots through my entire body, nearly knocking me unconscious.
It hurts. It hurts so much. But pain means my senses are returning.
I can't see or hear, but I can move my arms.
The intense, burning pain is likely from burns. Even the slightest movement sends waves of agony through me. The slimy sensation on my cheeks and neck is probably blood. The feeling of it trickling down my body is unsettling.
But I have sensation. The pain, though excruciating, isn't as bad as I imagined. This level of pain is something I've experienced during training. It's just affecting my whole body.
In other words, it's nothing I can't handle. Even the most severe pain won't stop me from using my magic. I've been through this before. If there's a problem, I'll punch it away.
Even at the brink of death, I'll show them the best magic I have!
I spread the magic seeping out of me throughout the room, forming a solid image in my mind. Magic is all about the image. No matter the situation, I won't waver.
A mist of magic. A mist of Grade 2 Super Composite Recovery Potion. As long as you're not dead, it will heal you, no matter the condition.
The image materializes in the space filled with magic, and the effects are immediate. Even though I can't see, I can tell.
The magic mist gently seeps in, easing the pain and miraculously repairing my broken body. It restores lost blood and returns my scorched hair to its smooth texture. My once-blinded eyes now reflect the glowing white mist.
Everyone else must have recovered as well, assuming they're alive.
The stifling heat in the room rapidly cools as the mist dissipates, revealing the large desk that had pinned me down. Of course, it must have collapsed on me.
I'm calm. I need to see the reality. Even with a lingering sense of unreality, I stand up and survey the room.
"..."
No words come to me. I can only gasp.
The faint sounds I hear are moans or mumbles. No one seems to be awake. Their clothes are scorched, but their bodies are healing, which is a good sign. No one appears to be crushed by furniture, so they don't need immediate help.
However, some are lying there, severely injured, and not healing. The reason is clear.
—They are dead.
The mist of magic only works on the living.
I silently observe, burning the scenes of death into my memory.
Those closest to the blast are unrecognizable. Some have lost their upper bodies, while others are missing half their torsos. There are fragments of flesh and organs scattered everywhere. Faces are crushed, and debris is embedded in bodies. Some necks are bent at odd angles. There is still blood flowing, and organs are spilling out. It's clear they died instantly. The common factor is the severe burns, making it impossible to identify anyone.
I close my eyes tightly, then open them again.
This is reality. An unyielding, harsh reality. I cannot look away.
It's a miracle I survived. I'm grateful to those who pulled through with me.
"..."
I force down the urge to retch and exhale deeply, as much as I can.
What is this?
—I know. I know what happened and what I must do next.
Various emotions and thoughts race through my mind, but in the end, I must do what I can, what I want to do. I can't afford to wallow in grief. I am the president of the Kikyo Society.
Above all, I survived. And because I survived, I can take responsibility. I can fulfill my duties. I can thank the gods for that much.
The responsibility for the outcome lies with me, the president. Everything, absolutely everything.
Even if the outcome is tragic, I must accept it.
But the important thing is what comes next. How I respond to this. How I, as a responsible president, will handle this.
I've imagined this day many times. Over and over, I've thought, "One day, this will happen."
That's why I don't hesitate.
—To feel weak is unforgivable.
—To run away is unforgivable.
—To give up is unforgivable.
—To deny our journey is unforgivable.
I won't let anyone, including myself, deny our journey. I made my decision long ago. I won't deny who we are.
There's no time to wallow. No time to dwell. If I have the time, I'll take action.
There is only one thing to do.
Defeat the enemy.
Crush them utterly, secure victory, and seize it.
No matter what, no matter when, I will move forward. I will sweep away any obstacles. I know their souls would want this.
This is the Kikyo Society. This is who we are.
I've killed countless enemies, so I won't pretend to be righteous. I have no intention of doing so.
The world might smugly claim it's their own fault.
But that doesn't matter.
My dear comrades have been killed.
I will avenge them. I will settle the score, no matter what.
And we will move forward. Toward the future, toward fulfilling our ambitions.
We are the Kikyo Society. We gathered for this. We started this. We'll go as far as it takes. In the end, that's all there is.
I slap my cheek hard to regain my composure.
It's time to stop dwelling. I can't leave them like this.
I'll never forget the pain in my cheek, the tight grip of my hand, the choking smell of blood and burnt organs.
The headquarters has living spaces and the Training Grounds underground, and there are members there. It's natural for them to rush here after the explosion.
The building is exceptionally sturdy, so the damage is confined to this office space. It's good that other floors weren't affected.
The members who arrived are speechless, staring in disbelief at the hellish scene.
I understand their shock, but now isn't the time for numbness or sentimentality. I raise my voice, forcefully.
"Don't just stand there! Everyone, go on high alert! Get outside! Set up guards on the roof! Do what you can! Don't think this is over!"
They spring into action, as if fleeing. Their emotions will catch up later. I'm not used to casualties.
Besides, they wouldn't want to be seen like this. Many in the Secretariat were fashion-conscious. Clothes, makeup, hairstyles, accessories—these were common topics during breaks. They deserve better than to die without a proper farewell.
"Yukari-san"
The only one left here is Mia, the Eighth Combat Unit leader. She looks distressed, but as a leader, she wants to understand the situation. It's a relief that her team, which was in the basement, wasn't attacked.
"Sorry, can we discuss the details later? If the enemy attacks, now is the perfect time. I need you to take command outside. I can't leave these girls like this."
"Understood. Bystanders are gathering, and we can't be lax with our guard against assassins."
Mia, always reliable and perceptive, responds with a clear judgment. I'm grateful for her support. Now, with the unconscious members aside, I'm alone.
I press my burning eyelids and take action.
I pick up my coat from the wall, draping it over my burned clothes. The black coat provides a newfound sense of strength.
I admit, the shock is overwhelming, but I can't stand still. I need to do something. I can't leave them like this. I'll take care of this myself.
I create lightweight aluminum alloy coffins to hold the bodies. I'll place each one carefully inside.
I lift the broken bodies, catching the dripping blood and organs, and gather the scattered parts. I use precise magic sensing to ensure I don't make any mistakes. These were my precious comrades, everyone's bodies.
I scold my mind when it tries to think negative thoughts, and I carefully, but quickly, place the bodies in the coffins.
Bathed in the warm blood of my comrades, I offer a silent prayer.
I won't forgive them. Instead, I vow to repay the debt.