Chapter 137 - 2-19 Louis's Perspective
After leaving the Marcel estate, I threw a robe over my clothes and headed straight for a tavern tucked away in a back alley of the city. Inside the noisy establishment, I signaled the owner, who was polishing glasses behind the counter. He led me to a private room deep in the dim interior. Peering through the small glass pane in the door, I saw my target sitting with his back to me. Once the owner saw me nod, he left with a brief "Enjoy yourself," disappearing back into the din.
I knocked and entered without waiting for an answer.
"I thought I might find you here."
"...What do you want? I'm on leave. Besides, you and I are currently in a cold war."
Theodore didn't look my way. He scowled irritably and took a long swig from his mug. I took the seat opposite him.
Observing him closely, I realized Theodore looked just as sunken as the Marquis.
"So, being here means you were looking for information?"
"It's none of your business."
"It's very much my business. ...You were looking into who was behind the attack on Rachel in the Milicier woods, weren't you?"
Theodore rested his left arm on the back of his chair and crossed his legs. "And if I was?" he said, narrowing his eyes. He was likely trying to gauge my intentions. I couldn't help but shrug; it seemed the me of this world had completely lost Theodore's trust.
This tavern, whose owner was famous in certain circles as an informant, was a place Theodore had introduced me to long ago. According to the documents I'd checked earlier, a noble was involved in the attack on Rachel. However, the mastermind hadn't been identified yet. Perhaps because the opponent was a noble, the investigation was moving at a snail's pace. Cyril had mentioned that in this world, my relationship with Theodore had soured after an argument regarding the attack. In other words, Theodore hadn't accepted Rachel's death. Just like me.
If it were me, I would dispose of everyone involved with my own hands. It was highly possible Theodore was moving with the same intent. However, I was half-doubting whether Theodore would act for Rachel's sake. In my original world, they were on friendly terms. But in this world where Rachel hadn't lost her magic, I didn't think they had much of a connection.
Even so, the Theodore of this world was acting with far more concern for Rachel than the version of myself here. That was why...
"No, I'm grateful."
"What...?"
Theodore's voice trembled with anger as he looked at me, my eyes downcast in a self-mocking smile. He likely felt nothing but disappointment and loathing for the version of me that had done nothing while Rachel died.
But my gratitude was sincere.
"I can trust you more than the 'me' of this world."
"Huh?"
"...Since coming here, I've felt nothing but disappointment in myself. Did I mourn when Rachel was gone? Did I regret it? No. Time simply moved on, and I continued my duties as if nothing had happened. That is the only reality this world holds."
I didn't know what the Rachel of this world had thought, or what she felt as she headed for the monastery. I didn't know how much she feared the moment of her death. Had the 'me' of this world even considered those things? I had no way of knowing.
"Louis, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"...I suppose not."
As I began to pour out my feelings, Theodore's irritation subsided, replaced by a look of concern.
"What happened?"
The question was quintessentially Theodore. But it was enough to break down the walls I'd built to protect myself during the constant, unpleasant tension since I'd arrived.
I must have been terrified.
I covered my face with my hand and let out a deep sigh, trying to hide my pathetic expression. The fear that I might lose Rachel, that I might have failed to protect her, that I might never return to my own world—it had been haunting me, even as I resolved to move forward and never give up.
"...I've realized just how powerless and weak I am."
"That's rare... no, it's the first time I've seen you show such weakness to anyone. But... well, what a coincidence. I was just feeling disgusted by my own powerlessness recently."
"You?"
"Yeah, me. I was thinking about how people can't seem to face the ugly truths they've been ignoring until the price they pay is far too high."
Theodore poked at an olive with a pin, his brow furrowed.
"So? I'm guessing you didn't come here just to whine."
"No. The whining ends this instant. That's why... I have a favor to ask."
No matter how much I tried to deceive myself, this fear would likely never vanish. But having an ally who believed in me, reached out, and pushed me forward meant I wouldn't have to stop.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. That alone seemed to calm the turbulent surface of my heart. Then, I looked straight at Theodore, who was waiting for my words.
"Theodore, please. Lend me your strength."
I bowed my head to him. Even without looking, I felt him catch his breath. It was only natural. While I had often requested his cooperation, I had never once shown vulnerability or pleaded like this.
But strangely, I remembered Theodore once telling me, 'Trying to do everything alone is your worst habit.' I didn't know when he'd said it. But I felt as though my refusal to rely on others had caused pain to those I held dear. To break through this situation that I couldn't handle alone, I would lay everything bare and make a sincere plea.
The first step to changing anything was to change my own actions.