Chapter 228 - 3ー32
Roses and lupines. Monarda, lavender, and other herbs. Beautiful flowers bloomed in profusion, their sweet and refreshing scents enveloping me. A green wall surrounded the modest garden, blocking the bright sun and providing a pleasant breeze.
"Kuro... Kuro? Where did you go?"
I searched for my contracted spirit, who had wandered into the bushes, but he was nowhere to be found. I felt like I had been searching for the lost cat for several dozen minutes already.
"I think I've checked everywhere I can..."
After the incident with Theodore-sama, I had been depressed in my room for a while. Perhaps worried, Lute-sama had petitioned the Emperor, and my range of movement was expanded regardless of my own will. This was the garden closest to my room. Though it had a door and was likely managed by magic, making it little more than a beautiful cage. Knights were surely watching my every move from outside the door. Still, being in nature helped clear my gloomy mood.
I had come for a walk today with Kuro and Rose. It was normal for Rose to wander off, but since our reunion in this country, Kuro had never left my side.
"Kuro? Are you here? ...Hmm, not here either."
Kuro had been acting differently today, appearing restless since we arrived at the garden. I had been searching for him for quite some time now.
"Kuro? Come out now." I peered into the bushes.
"Meow."
"Ah, Kuro!" I turned around, relieved by the cute meow. "Thank goodness. Kuro, you mustn't go far. ...I cannot leave this garden, so if you go somewhere else, I won't be able to find you."
As I crouched down to reach for him, a pair of men's boots entered my field of vision. I looked up and realized a man was standing behind Kuro.
"...Theodore-sama."
It was Theodore-sama, whom I hadn't seen since that day.
"You are... if I recall, His Majesty's..."
Unlike the last time, when his expression had been completely stripped away, Theodore-sama's eyes widened slightly in surprise.
"I am Rachel Marcel. The fiancée of the Crown Prince of the Kingdom of Dutoit."
"The Kingdom of Dutoit?"
Theodore-sama tilted his head curiously, and I leaned forward instinctively.
"Y-yes! The Kingdom of Dutoit! The country where you were born and raised, Theodore-sama!" I looked into his eyes with hope. But Theodore-sama shook his head heartlessly.
"...No, I do not know such a country. It is a place I have never been to, nor have I ever wished to go."
"That's..." My shoulders slumped. But I immediately shook my head, telling myself I couldn't get depressed over every little thing. I faced him once more. "Um, Theodore-sama."
Theodore-sama frowned suspiciously at my call.
"No, I am Nana. That is the name His Majesty gave me."
"...Nana? What do you mean?"
"His Majesty appointed me as a personal guard. He disposes of his knights whenever he grows bored of them. Since I am the seventh knight this month, he named me Nana."
My mind refused to process the words Theodore-sama spoke so flatly.
"...What a ridiculous name."
That Emperor had placed Theodore-sama by his side partly to harass me.
I mustn't react to everything that Emperor does. I know that, yet he seems to understand exactly how to upset me.
I bit my lip and looked down.
It's so frustrating. The Tratia imperial family has stolen not only Theodore-sama's memories but even his name.
"Meow."
Kuro's meow snapped me out of the darkness I was sinking into. I looked toward the sound and saw Kuro looking at Theodore-sama worriedly.
Perhaps Kuro brought Theodore-sama here. He must feel the same as I do. He's desperately trying to find anything he can do for our precious Theodore-sama.
"Kuro, your face is so dirty. Come, let's clean you up." My heart tightened at Kuro's feelings as I crouched down and stroked his head. His black face was covered in dirt and mud from his exploration.
I used dark magic to clean him. Dark magic was the magic of reversing time. In an instant, the little black cat's fur returned to its beautiful state.
"Meow."
"Yes, you're clean now." Kuro licked himself, looking satisfied.
"What was that just now?"
I looked up at the voice from above. "Pardon?"
Theodore-sama looked back and forth between Kuro and me, then flipped through the pages of a book he was holding as if to confirm something.
"The magic you just used is not listed in this book. What kind of magic did you use?"
Theodore-sama, who had seemed uninterested in everything until a moment ago, was now scanning the pages at high speed, his eyes moving from top to bottom as if he wouldn't miss a single character. I stood up and peeked at the book he was reading.
"Ah... oh? ...This book is used at the Torsova Academy of Magic, isn't it?"
"Academy of Magic?"
"Yes. ...How nostalgic." It was a textbook containing the basic magic taught to first-year students.
"But why do you have this?"
"His Majesty gave it to me, since I have no memories."
Theodore-sama would have mastered the basics in this book when he was a small child.
Lute-sama had said that while his memories were gone, his magic power remained. The Emperor had shown interest in the power of spirits, so he might have given it to him so Theodore-sama could learn to use magic on his own.
"I see. ...His Majesty Alec did." Since Lute-sama, who had studied abroad at the Torsova Academy of Magic, was here, it wasn't strange for the textbook to be in this country.
"Now, about that magic from just now."
"Eh?"
"...It wasn't water magic, nor was it wind. In my opinion, this book only contains a small fraction of spirit magic. Only the basics?" Theodore-sama murmured to himself, his eyes never leaving the book, as if he couldn't hear my somber voice. "And there are magics other than those written in this book... that is, other than fire, water, earth, and wind. The magic just now was different from the basic ones."
"Yes. That was dark magic, so it isn't in that book."
"I see. Dark..." Theodore-sama seemed to realize something and looked straight at me. My heart throbbed; it felt like the first time our eyes had truly met since our reunion in the Tratia Empire. His serious gaze seemed to look through me and into the distance.
"This is just a guess, but there is likely something else besides dark... yes, a power that acts as its opposite, perhaps?"
I was stunned that he was approaching the truth of the secret dark and light magic of the royalty just by reading a basic textbook and seeing my dark magic once.
"Yes, that's right. Um... excuse me, but when did you receive that magic book from His Majesty?"
"I received it this morning. He told me to learn the magic in it and show him."
"This morning...? By the way, have you become able to use the magic described in that book?"
"Yes. After reading a few pages, I understood how to construct magic circles. For example... I can combine wind and water like this, or fire and earth. I've reached the point where I can do that much."
This morning? And he already understands spirit magic to some extent and can even combine magics, which is part of the high-level magician exam?
"As... as expected of Theodore-sama." Louis-sama often said that Theodore was an outlier, and he was right. To understand spirit magic so easily even without his memories...
"Meow."
"...This cat. Ah... so this child is the Spirit of Darkness."
That's it! Why did I forget? Theodore-sama could understand things that even I, who received the blessing of the Spirit King, could not.
"U-um! Theodore-sama, you can understand the words of spirits, can't you? If so, can't you understand what Kuro is saying right now?"
"Understand the words of spirits?"
"Meow, meow, meow." Kuro spoke desperately to Theodore-sama, as if he understood my words. But Theodore-sama's reaction was grim.
"...Unfortunately, I cannot."
"I-I see. I thought if you could understand Kuro's words, it might help you regain your memories..." I had hoped that the efforts of Kuro or Theodore-sama's own contracted spirit might do something about the supposedly irreversible Memory Manipulation... but I guess it wasn't that simple.
Theodore-sama looked at me as if he had something to say as my shoulders slumped. "...I wonder if regaining my memories is truly the right thing to do."
I gasped at his quiet murmur. "Of... of course it is!"
"I do not think so. They are completely gone. I have no particular problems, and His Majesty treats me well. My past memories and my life... they are likely unnecessary to me now."
Past memories and life... unnecessary?
"That's..."
To think that a man who laughed so much could lose his expression, a man who cherished his friends and family could lose his memories, and that he would say everything that made him who he was is unnecessary... and to hear it from Theodore-sama himself.
The sense of despair was far greater than when Lute-sama told me his memories wouldn't return.
The Theodore-sama I know would never say such a thing. And yet, the person before me is undeniably Theodore-sama himself...
"Such sad words..."
"Sad? Why?" Theodore-sama tilted his head curiously as he looked at me.
Hearing him say he didn't need his memories made me feel so frustrated and sad that I had to fight back tears.
"...The opposite of dark is light. ...You are someone who is very good at manipulating light magic."
I whispered. Theodore-sama's face instantly brightened from his previous lack of interest.
"Light...? I see. Light. I understand..."
He seemed intensely focused, holding the book in one hand as he closed his eyes and held his right hand out in front of him. "If the dark from earlier was restoration... then light is..."
Particles of light appeared from Theodore-sama's hand. The warm light danced in accordance with his hand movements. He twirled his finger, and a large rainbow appeared in the sky.
"Haha, I see."
Beautiful.
He was a person who used magic as if he were playing. His face as he looked at the rainbow he had created was so full of joy that my chest tightened. The rainbow, draped in particles of light, was noble and beautiful, just like Theodore-sama. I couldn't look away from the seven-colored beauty as tears streamed down my cheeks.
There is no way it's okay to lose them. Not Theodore-sama's memories, his recollections, or his life. They are not things that should be messed with for someone's amusement.
"You are... undoubtedly Theodore Camus. The heir to the House of Marquis Camus and a magician of the Kingdom of Dutoit's Order of Mages. ...You appear and disappear unpredictably, you love to tease people, and you are always composed."
He usually captivated everyone with his bright smile while being the center of attention. He could easily use even the most difficult magic and created one unique magic tool after another. He was the person Louis-sama trusted more than anyone else... it almost made me jealous. And in a pinch, he would appear out of nowhere, his long hair fluttering, and ask, "Rachel-jou, are you alright?" Then he would calm me with his gentle voice, saying, "It's alright. Trust me."
I looked up at the sky through my blurred vision. The rainbow gradually turned into a rain of light and slowly faded away. No matter how much of Theodore-sama's memory was gone, his magic was still so warm and full of love.
"You believe in the possibilities of magic, you love the spirits... you are stronger than anyone, and a kind person full of compassion." Theodore-sama hadn't changed at all. "That is who you are."
I turned toward Theodore-sama with hope. But his enthusiasm for magic had vanished, and the expressionless Theodore-sama was back. His eyes were very cold, and I felt as if he wasn't even seeing me.
"Even if that is truly who I was, I am now nothing more than a loyal knight of His Majesty the Emperor."
"Theodore-sama..."
"No, I am Nana. ...That is who I am from now on."
Theodore-sama's complete rejection. It was so painful. I only now realized the cruelty of being forgotten by someone precious, and the kindness of the past Theodore-sama who had forgiven even that. I was filled with a sense of helplessness at my past self, who had only ever thought of herself.