Chapter 235 - 3−39
“...Ah, I failed again.”
“It feels as though you are but one step away,” Theodore-sama replied, his expression unchanging as he fell into a contemplative pose.
“I can feel the response myself, but... the moment it’s about to take shape, it simply vanishes.”
“Your focus on the mana is going well. The problem might lie elsewhere.”
I had become proficient at drawing magic circles, and I had grasped the sensation of concentrating mana into a single point. Yet, I couldn't progress beyond that. Every time I attempted to manifest a magic stone, my mana would scatter as if something were interfering with it.
On the table sat the Pure Magic Stone Theodore-sama had created. Its precision seemed to improve every time he showed me an example. It possessed a vivid, warm brilliance akin to a yellow diamond, beautiful enough to be a jewel even without any processing.
I picked up the stone he had just finished. It gathered the radiance of the stars in the night sky into a single point, outshining even the most expensive gemstones.
“Why can’t the Pure Magic Stone you made nullify the Dragonewt’s spell cast upon you, Theodore-sama? You create them so perfectly.”
Theodore-sama’s brow twitched at my insecure murmur.
“It is undoubtedly because I cannot use dark mana.”
Unlike the mana of fire, earth, water, and wind—which almost everyone possesses to some degree—light and dark are special types of mana held only by a limited few.
In the Kingdom of Dutoit, where the Spirit King of Light is worshipped as a god, dark mana—which acts through the power of the Spirit of Darkness—had not existed for a long time. His Royal Highness the Crown Prince Louis-sama and Theodore-sama, a descendant of the Saint of Light, were among the few in Dutoit who possessed light mana.
Because they possessed light mana, Louis-sama, Theodore-sama, and Anna-san could use light magic. Conversely, despite being born in Dutoit, I possessed dark mana. Since I lacked light mana, I could not use light magic, but I could use dark magic.
“Dark mana is a power over the past. Likely, the nullification of the spell is only possible by returning the target to the state they were in before the Dragonewt cast the spell. If that is the case, the power of the future, light mana, is of no use.”
I nodded, my shoulders slumping at his words.
“...I suppose you’re right.”
To break the spell cast on Theodore-sama, the fastest way was for me to create a Pure Magic Stone.
“I am so sorry, especially when you have been so cooperative, Theodore-sama.”
“No, there is no need to apologize. In the first place...”
I do not mind if my memories never return.
He seemed to swallow the words he was about to say upon seeing my dejected face. Instead, Theodore-sama closed his mouth and crossed his arms in thought.
“...You say you wish to restore my memories and take me back to the Spirit Country.”
“Yes, of course.”
“But I cannot understand why you are so obsessed with that country. I heard His Majesty desires you to be the future Empress of the Tratia Empire. Would it not be far better for you to be the Empress of this nation than the Queen of Dutoit, a weak country that His Majesty might eventually destroy?”
The consort of a powerful empire over a weak kingdom. Choosing Emperor Alec over Louis-sama. These were words the old Theodore-sama would never have said, and they felt like a knife gouging my heart. Even so, I lowered my brows and gave a faint, ambiguous smile, shaking my head.
“Such a future will never come.”
“...Why?”
“I love His Royal Highness the Crown Prince Louis Dutoit. My life belongs with him.”
Saying it aloud made the sentiment resonate even more deeply within my heart. If not for Louis-sama, who gave light to a life I had once lost and asked me to walk beside him, I would surely still be spending my days in resignation.
“You must think I am a stubborn person who refuses to give up, Theodore-sama. That, too, is thanks to Louis-sama. He never gives up, and he never stops moving forward. Even at this very moment, our hearts are connected. Because I believe that, I can stand up again and again.”
Once I started, my feelings for Louis-sama poured out without stopping. Theodore-sama’s eyes widened in surprise. However, his expression soon softened, and the corners of his mouth turned up.
“Is the Crown Prince of Dutoit truly loved that much by you?”
Theodore-sama narrowed his eyes and looked toward the distant blue sky.
“He must be quite the man.”
Those softly muttered words made my chest tighten.
“Yes, he truly is.”
I felt happy as if he were praising me, and a smile naturally spread across my face. This might have been the first time I had smiled from the bottom of my heart since coming to this country. Theodore-sama’s smile deepened, though his brows remained lowered.
“Is His Royal Highness the Crown Prince of Dutoit an acquaintance of my past self as well?”
“Yes. He is your best friend.”
“Best friend... What kind of relationship did we have?”
“Louis-sama is often tense, but you are one of the few people he truly opens up to. You would often trade quips. Oh, that’s right... you used to tease Louis-sama quite a lot. But you trusted and believed in each other. To me, you and Louis-sama seemed like one-of-a-kind friends.”
The old me never had such a friend. I had believed in superficial friendships and been betrayed. If I hadn't seen the relationship between Louis-sama, Theodore-sama, and Cyril up close, I might never have wanted to make friends at the academy again.
“...One-of-a-kind, is it? I would like to meet him once.”
“Yes, definitely.”
Seeing Theodore-sama’s bright smile, a soft, warm light seemed to kindle in my own heart. At that moment, his gaze shifted to the magic stone on the table.
“The key to that final step...”
He muttered to himself. I blinked, asking, “Pardon?”
“At the final moment, when the mana is about to scatter... how about imagining the person you want to see most?”
“Louis-sama?”
“Yes. I am sure it will work.”
Theodore-sama spoke as if he had realized something. I tilted my head inwardly but nodded.
♢
Theodore-sama said that, but...
Since being brought to the Tratia Empire and dealing with Theodore-sama’s situation, I might have been trying my best not to think about Louis-sama so I could remain strong. When I thought of him, my chest ached so much I wanted to scream, and the yearning threatened to crush me.
Louis-sama, are you eating properly? Are you sleeping? Are you pushing yourself too hard?
If I let my guard down, I couldn't help but remember him. I was certain Louis-sama was still thinking of me even now. I never doubted that. But right now, I had to fight alone. I had to return to his side. I couldn't afford to show weakness.
In these moments where I couldn't relax, I took care not to let my feelings for him overflow, making sure not to avert my eyes from the problems right in front of me for even a second. But perhaps that way of thinking was wrong.
We were apart, but we were fighting together. That was why it was more important for me to face my feelings for Louis-sama head-on and not run away from the loneliness.
Looking up at the sky through the glass window with the curtains open, a beautiful night sky stretched out. The full moon reminded me of that day—the sight of Louis-sama reaching out until the very end, desperately calling my name.
How happy would I have been if I could have jumped into those arms? Even now, I could recall that warmth. The voice calling my name, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the gentle fingertips touching my cheek.
Once I started thinking about it, my feelings burst forth like a broken dam. Even as I wiped away the tears that fell naturally, more flowed to take their place.
Louis-sama, I want to see you.
Leaving my overflowing emotions as they were, I drew a magic circle toward the sky, pouring my heart into it with care. In the darkness of the night, I placed my feelings onto each and every star. I packed them with Louis-sama’s voice, his image, and our memories together.
I gathered those stars as if gently embracing them, not letting a single one slip away. The tears streaming down my cheeks didn't fall but became droplets of water, absorbed into the magic circle.
The moment the light became one, I reached out toward it. A warm light enveloped my entire body from my palm. It felt as though Louis-sama were hugging me, filling me with a serene comfort and affection.
The dazzling light slowly grew smaller and vanished into my palm.
This was my heart. My feelings for Louis-sama had taken shape and appeared in my hand. I squeezed my hand tight. A smooth, hard sphere rested in my palm. When I slowly opened my hand, a magic stone resembling an amethyst sparkled.
“Finally... I finally succeeded.”
Louis-sama, it’s a promise. I will definitely return to you.
“Along with Theodore-sama.”