Chapter 32 - Chapter 32
True to his word, His Highness stopped by the manor the following morning. The irritation from the previous night had vanished, replaced by a forced, fragile smile. An awkward tension hung between us. Though we faced each other, our gazes refused to meet. Silence stretched as we both searched for the right words.
Louis was the first to break it.
"Rachel, I apologize for my emotional outburst last night."
"No, I should be the one to apologize for causing you such discomfort."
I had never seen him so agitated. The man who was always calm and composed, never without a smile, had raised his voice. Even now, the memory felt surreal.
Yet, the fault likely lay with me. Something I had done or said had shaken him to his core.
I had spent the night reflecting on it. Lately, when Louis looked at me, his eyes held a trace of sweet affection. Perhaps he truly did care for me. If that were the case, his strange fixation on the Master Priest made sense.
It might have been vanity to think so, but if it were true... how did I feel?
I had tried to bury my feelings for him, to avoid imagining a future together. Yet recently, he had been swaying my heart. I still lacked the courage to unseal those locked emotions. Then there was the matter of the Saint. I couldn't reciprocate his advances while I remained so uncertain. Could I truly live without jealousy if I saw him with the Saint again? Unlike before, I was beginning to see his true charm, which only made me more doubtful of my own strength.
"No, it is my own inadequacy at fault. I need to organize my thoughts. If you will have me... may I stop by again on my way back from Donatien?"
I met his worried gaze with a smile and a nod. "Of course, Your Highness."
"I'm glad."
"Um, Your Highness... if I am mistaken, then please ignore this, but I feared there might be a misunderstanding between us. I couldn't find the words yesterday, so I put my thoughts into a letter."
"For me?"
"Yes. I would be honored if you read it when you have a moment."
"I will. I promise."
Louis looked me straight in the eye, nodding firmly as he took the letter with care. He tucked it into his breast pocket before mounting his sleek black horse and galloping away with Cyril and his guards.
♢
"Is something the matter?"
"Eh?"
"You've been staring into space for a while now. Sighing quite a bit, too."
"Ah... my apologies."
Three days had passed since Louis departed for Donatien Territory, yet there had been no word from him. How was he faring? Had he read the letter? Or had I written something entirely off-mark? Lately, I found my thoughts drifting toward him at every turn. Even now, as I organized the picture books I had been reading to the children at the church, my hands had gone still.
The sudden voice from behind startled me. The children who had surrounded me moments ago were gone; only the Master Priest remained in the room. I hadn't even noticed them leave. What was I doing?
Master Priest watched me with a look of concern. "If you wish, I am here to listen."
"Thank you. But this is something I must face on my own."
"As expected, Rachel-sama. You are a remarkably straightforward person."
He narrowed his eyes, his smile deepening with a look that bordered on dazzling.
"No, I..."
"Being with you makes me feel as though I could become stronger myself."
"You are already a wonderful person, Master Priest. You are always thinking of others."
I finished tidying the books and stood up, smoothing my skirts. He gestured toward a nearby chair. "Shall we talk for a moment?"
Without thinking, I took the seat. He sat across from me. After a brief silence, he spoke softly.
"May I tell you about a dream that will never come true?"
"A dream?"
"Yes. Since I was a child, I was the 'failure' of the family. My brothers possess immense mana and were destined for greatness within the Great Church. But I was different. Despite being born into a lineage of priests, my mana is meager. I can barely see spirits. Because of that, I simply followed whatever my parents and brothers dictated. Even becoming a priest was their choice. I have never chosen anything for myself."
His voice was calm, yet his expression held a self-deprecating smile that tasted of resignation. He had mentioned his family were all priests, but I could only imagine the suffocating pressure of being surrounded by excellence.
"They told me I had no future in the hierarchy, so I should drift between rural churches and live a quiet life. They told me to do whatever my brothers asked of me, for that was all a dullard like me was good for."
"That's..."
"It was my parents' favorite phrase. They pinned all their hopes on my two brilliant brothers. To them, I was an afterthought, so long as I didn't get in their way."
"How could they..."
He was such a gentle, kind man. I had assumed he came from a warm, loving home. Instead, the family he described felt cold and hollow. The thought of a young Alois hearing such words made my chest ache.
"I thought I was fine with it. When I actually started working in local churches, the days were more peaceful than I expected. No more nagging voices. Just days filled with children's laughter."
"Yes."
"I thought I could spend my whole life like that. I really did... until you appeared."
"Me?"
Master Priest locked eyes with me. His gaze lacked its usual softness; it was intense, pinning me in place.
"When I'm with you... I find myself wishing these days could last forever. It's the first time I've ever felt that way. I know you are the Crown Prince's fiancée. But for the first time, I didn't want this life to break."
"Um..."
"Actually, I know. I know that your engagement to the Crown Prince is in a precarious state."
"How do you know that?"
"My family sits at the heart of the Church. I understand your circumstances better than most. Even the matter of the black cat..."
The black cat—Kuro? My eyes widened in shock.
"Do not worry. I will not harm the spirit. So, if you are willing... would you consider a future with me?"
My hands began to tremble. What was he saying? How did he know about Kuro? My face must have turned pale. How long had he known? How much did he know? The questions made me shudder. I didn't know how much of his story was true or what he truly wanted. But I knew one thing.
"I am sorry. I do not know what will happen to my engagement. But as the Crown Prince's fiancée, I cannot accept your proposal."
"I see... That is a pity."
He didn't look disappointed. If anything, his smile grew even more tender, as if he had expected my answer.
"Then, I suppose there is no other way. Shall we elope right now?"
"What...?"
Before I could process his words, the world began to tilt. A sweet, cloying scent drifted past my nose. Incense? I tried to speak, but my tongue felt heavy and numb.
I glared at him, but he only offered a troubled smile.
"It's all right. It's just a simple sleeping incense. I will protect you, so please, rest easy."
As I watched his calm, gentle smile, my consciousness faded into black.