Chapter 73 - Anna's Perspective
My name is Anna Carroll. That is who I am in this life. In my past life, I was An. I can't remember my surname anymore.
I was born into a family that ran a traditional sweets shop in a shopping district. My parents were always busy with work, and I don't remember us going out much. Still, I never felt lonely. My parents were always kind, and even in the limited time they had, they always listened to my stories with such joy. They hugged me often, and I knew I was cherished.
Above all, the siblings from the tofu shop next door were always with me. Since all our parents were busy, I spent more time with those two than with my own mother and father. There were two children at the tofu shop. The older brother, Makoto-kun, was five years older than me. The younger sister, Megu-chan, was my age.
Makoto-kun had sharp eyes and a large build; to be honest, most people wouldn't have called him handsome. But he was kinder than anyone and animals loved him. He was very responsible, helping with chores since elementary school to help his busy parents. While other kids were playing games or soccer, Makoto-kun was always stuck babysitting us. He must have had plenty of complaints, but he never took it out on me or Megu-chan. He would always smile and say, 『I'll make those pancakes you like today, An.』
Whenever I was lonely or holding back tears, he was always the first to notice. 『What's wrong, An?』 he would ask gently.
Falling in love with him was the most natural thing in the world. Apparently, I had been saying 『I'm going to be Makoto-kun's bride!』 since preschool. But Makoto-kun, being older, would only give me a troubled smile. 『You're a cute girl, An. You'll find plenty of great guys in the future,』 he would say, brushing it off as a child's joke.
I always consulted Megu-chan about him. Since we were the same age and went to the same schools, she was my best friend and confidante.
「Well, he definitely just sees you as a little sister.」
「Megu, you don't have to be so blunt. I already know that.」
「Onii-chan doesn't think you're seriously in love with him. He's dense. He probably just thinks it's nice that you're attached to him like a surrogate brother.」
I had suspected as much, but hearing it from his own sister was depressing. Attached... and here I was, already in high school.
「You should look at the guys in your own grade.」
「...I haven't met anyone cooler than Makoto-kun.」
「Suit yourself.」
The five-year gap was a formidable wall. By the time I finally became a high schooler, Makoto-kun had already started working. Megu said, 『There's no way Onii-chan would ever get a girlfriend,』 but I couldn't believe other people wouldn't fall for someone so wonderful. Lately, I had been trying all sorts of things out of desperation, only for them to end in failure.
When I tried dressing more maturely, he said, 『That looks good too, but I think I like the usual An better.』 When I loitered around him in thin clothing, he worried, 『You'll catch a cold,』 and made me wear his hoodie. When I told him a classmate had confessed to me, he just smiled bashfully and said, 『Well, you are cute, An.』
In the end, it just made my heart flutter even more. My love for him was reaching a breaking point. But I felt completely stuck. I didn't know how to make him see me as a woman. Being together since birth meant I knew him better than anyone, but it also meant it was harder for him to see me differently. If I kept waiting, he might eventually introduce some stranger as his girlfriend. The mere thought of it was devastating.
Megu let out a deep sigh, took a game disc out of her console, and put it back in its case.
「Fine, then use this otome game to study romance! This next one is a school setting with magic.」
「Again? I haven't even finished the one I borrowed last time.」
「Just take it, just take it.」
Megu pushed one of her favorite otome games onto me. It was our routine: I would play the games she finished or the apps she installed, and then we would talk about them. 「The main guy is this prince, and he's especially cool, but the secret character is...」 Megu started spoiling the whole thing while pointing at the package. I listened idly, wondering if this would actually help my love life.
But at this point, I had to try anything. I threw myself into conquering the otome game, clinging to it like a lifeline. Eventually, I learned to enjoy it by fantasizing: What if Makoto-kun said this! What if I were in this situation with Makoto-kun! When I told Megu, she looked quite disturbed.
My distance from Makoto-kun remained unchanged, but the days passed by. Sometimes we went out on his days off, or he would cook for me. Those days were my irreplaceable daily life. The unrequited feelings were painful, but the happiness of being by his side was the best in the world. Just his smile was enough to make me want to do my best. I was experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime love.
Then, one day.
It was a day when Megu had gone to school early for morning club practice. I happened to run into Makoto-kun right in front of the house.
「Oh, An. Good morning.」
「Good morning. Are you off to work, Makoto-kun?」
「Yeah. ...Want to walk together for a bit?」
What a lucky day. I got to see him in the morning, and he even invited me to walk with him. Despite the bitter cold, my heart soared. Makoto-kun looked like he was stifling a yawn; he must have worked late last night.
「Are you busy at work?」
「Well, I'm still an apprentice. I'm in training.」
I worried if he was getting enough sleep. But Makoto-kun was the type who hated making others worry. He gave a troubled smile and looked at me.
「By the way, did Megu push another game on you?」
「Yeah, but I'm almost finished.」
「Heh. What's it like?」
I felt a bit awkward explaining an otome game to the person I liked. But this was Megu's brother; he was understanding about such things. When I showed him a site I had searched on my phone, he nodded. 「Ah, I think I saw Megu playing that one.」
「I've finished most of the routes. All that's left is the ending with the main hero.」
「I see. Tell me what you think when you're done.」
My thoughts, huh? Makoto-kun always listened happily whenever I talked about books I'd read or movies I'd seen. But this was a bit different.
「Is it really interesting to hear about otome games?」
「It's interesting because it's your story, An. Anything you talk about is fun for me.」
He gently patted my head, and my cheeks turned red again. Embarrassed that he might notice, I buried my face in my muffler.
「Well, stay safe.」
We stopped at a traffic light, and Makoto-kun smiled and raised a hand to me. We were already there. I couldn't go any further with him as he headed toward the station. Even though I knew that, I still felt lonely. Unaware of my feelings, Makoto-kun turned on his heel and began walking straight ahead. I sighed and checked the light; it was red. I looked at his back one more time.
Turn around, turn around. Turn around!
I sent the thought his way. As if my wish had been heard, Makoto-kun turned back. Ah! He looked back!
My joy was short-lived. Makoto-kun's expression was strange. His face was pale with shock. He pointed right behind me. He threw his bag aside and started running toward me with everything he had.
Eh? What?
Everything seemed to move in slow motion. I slowly turned around, and a large truck filled my vision. It was barreling toward me at high speed.
「An!」
The only sound I heard in that moment was the voice of the person I loved. It was just him calling my name. Immediately after, a massive impact unlike anything I had ever felt struck me. In that instant, my world vanished. I thought I felt someone grab my arm at the very end, but it might have been my imagination.
Did I die?
In the darkness, I looked around frantically in terror. Then, I saw a light. I ran toward it, searching for an exit. I closed my eyes against the blinding glare, and when I slowly opened them...
I was in a room I didn't recognize.