1 - Prologue
That I was a samurai in a past life, or something like that. That I was a village girl made into a human sacrifice in a foreign land, or something like that.
I quite liked watching occult TV shows. But it wasn't that I particularly believed in reincarnation or ghosts or anything.
They just vaguely caught my interest. Out of sheer inertia, I'd turn on the TV when I got home. I wanted sounds made by something other than myself.
That was about the extent of my reason. I never, ever believed in the content of those programs.
Those kinds of shows often featured "toddlers with memories of being inside their mother's womb." What I'm experiencing now is surely "that."
It's dark and suffocating. But I'm wrapped in a pleasant warmth, and that put me at ease. A thunderous, noisy sound can be heard all day long. Mixed in with that roar, I was called out to lovingly, over and over. Occasionally, I'm gently stroked.
I want to stay in this warm place where I can spend my days in peace forever. I want to pass the time here, calm and quiet. That's what I thought, but "that time" came suddenly. I was forced into a narrow place, and it felt like I was "there" for hours. I could hear my mother's anguished voice the whole time, and from a slightly distant position, I could hear another voice encouraging her.
Ah, so I'm finally being born.
There wasn't a shred of that kind of emotion. The birth canal, narrow and agonizing, with my mother's anguished voice echoing endlessly, was like hell itself. If this painful time was going to continue, I'd rather not be born at all. That's what I thought, but.
In an instant, the world was dyed white, and I was enveloped in brightness. The crushing pressure that had been squeezing my entire body the whole time, that was gone now. When I hurriedly opened my mouth to take in oxygen, a magnificent first cry rang out.