112 - The Mischievous Girl's Way Home
I spot the puppy within the dark window. Kokumaro seemed to notice me too, standing up and wagging his tail back and forth. I am certain that if I go through this window, I can make it home.
"...Cats, cats."
Alright, let us go home. I thought that and reached for the window, but then I noticed something and stopped myself. On the way to reaching this window, several people I had met and bid farewell to over this past year had come to drive me onward. But among them, the people who should have come first were not there.
"Have you seen my father and mother?"
When I asked, I felt the cats leaving my shoulders. They had no intention of following me through the window, and it seemed they had no intention of answering either. My shoulders felt lighter, but there was no answer from the cats.
"Why did not my father and mother come for me?"
The young man had said that those who died within this past year would be here. Indeed, the Daltowas, who died around the same time as my parents, came to drive me onward first. That means my parents should be somewhere in this world too. And yet, I still had not felt my parents' voices or their presence.
"Could it be that my parents did not like me?"
At the possibility I had become aware of, the bridge of my nose suddenly stung, and I blinked rapidly. It was pathetic and I hated that tears I had held back until now were starting to spill.
Trying to distract myself, I pulled at my bangs and tugged at the edge of my hood, repeating these motions as I held back my tears. If I broke down crying like a child here, would my parents come find me?
"Go home quickly."
"The dog is waiting. There are others waiting too."
The moment the cats pushed my back, telling me to go home quickly, a contrary switch flipped inside me. You might call it a child's selfishness. Maybe a tantrum. It was an impulse I had never felt in my life.
I let go of the window I had been gripping and sat down right there. With me like this, the cats' small strength could not push me through the window. In the back of my mind, I thought how even my sulking was like a real child's, then reconsidered. I am a child right now, so it is only natural that I sulk sometimes. If anything, I thought I had been too good a child until now.
...No, I know this is not the time to be sulking, okay?
But every time the cats pushed my back telling me to go home quickly, my heart grew more stubborn. I had strangely made up my mind not to budge until my parents came to see me. I could not make the rational judgments I normally could. That people would worry if I did not go home, that Leonardo would be alone again. I was just fixated on the fact that my parents had not come to see me, putting everything else aside and abandoning reason.
I do not know how long I sat there sulking. Still, I calmed down a little, and my tears receded. It was a pain, but I got up and put one foot through the window. It made me a little sad that even if I threw a tantrum, in the end I would still do what I was supposed to. I really was not a normal child, I thought.
"Well then, I will be going home now. Cats, thank you for seeing me this far."
I turned around to properly thank them, and regretted it. This was definitely a case where I should have heeded the warning not to look back. What that young man said about not wanting to go home was not a lie either.
"Father, Mother."
When I turned around, my father and mother were there. The cats had been standing there just moments ago, so maybe the two of them had been my parents all along. Now that I thought about it, the cats' eyes were the same color as my parents' hair.
"Go home now, quickly."
I instinctively twisted my body to climb back out of the window, but my father stopped me. So then, when I reached out my hand, my mother took it. Her hand felt just a little smaller than I remembered.
"...I am sorry for dying so soon."
"We were supposed to be together much longer," my mother said, crying. I wanted to stop her tears, so I reached my free hand to her cheek.
"No, I am the one who should apologize. For not being a normal child."
The words I had never been able to say while my parents were alive slipped out easily. Because I had memories from my past life, I must have been a strange child, I thought.
"Even though you loved me so much, I feel like I was not able to properly love you back."
"Love does not have a form, so there is no such thing as 'properly.'"
"Tina loved us as parents, in your own way."
Father stroked my head, and I could not hold back. I pulled away from the window. I reached out both arms and hugged my parents, and they hugged me back with slightly troubled expressions.
"Dad, Mom, I love you."
Saying "I love you" was too embarrassing. As a former Japanese person, it was not a phrase that came naturally to me, so no matter what, it felt insincere. So I chose the simplest words I could say. "I love you so much," I said, putting my heart into it as I hugged my parents and took a deep breath. I filled my nose with the nostalgic scent of my parents, then slowly pulled away from them. Since they had come to see me properly, I could not keep throwing a tantrum.
"Somehow, I think I want to see Leo even more now."
I sniffled once, then turned my back to my parents. If I kept being spoiled by them, I felt like I really would not be able to go home.
"Leo is the only family I have left now. I cannot be a good daughter to you anymore, so I will do my best to be a good sister to him."
I tried to step into the window where Kokumaro was waiting again, then tilted my head. I was certain this window led home, but it was not the window I wanted to go through. Kokumaro was there, and the path of white ash continued, but it did not smell like Leonardo.
"...This window is wrong. I cannot smell Leo."
I sniffled, breathing in through my slightly stuffy nose from crying. My nose was not as good as a dog's, but I was certain this was not the right window.
"That window smells like Leo!"
I caught the faint scent and pointed, and I could feel my mother panicking behind me. Go home to the window with the marker, she said.
"Sometimes I need to surprise Leo, who always prioritizes work."
I puffed out my thin chest and declared this, and Father said that Leonardo had once told him Tina was surprisingly a tomboy. That she had never shown such a side in front of them. I wondered when Leonardo ever had the chance to talk with Father, and when I asked, apparently Leonardo had talked about my recent situation at the Memorial Service.
...Next time I see him, I will make him cry.
I absolutely had to go through the window that smelled of Leonardo, not the one with the marker. I renewed my resolve and reached for the window, and my parents seemed to give up on stopping me. This is what children do, they said. It is good for parents and guardians to be a little troubled by it.
"Goodbye, our Tina. Starting next year, make sure you wear a costume so the spirits do not take you away."
"Do not worry Leonardo too much. And do not you dare come to show your face for at least another fifty years."
"We love you," they said, and my parents' hands pushed my back.
I woke up with a sneeze. The force of my sneeze sent white ash fluttering softly into the air.
...Huh? Where is this?
I waited for the softly floating ash to settle and sat up, but it was pitch black around me. Still, thanks to light coming in through a gap, I could make out my surroundings.
...It is cramped!
I could not stretch out both arms, so maybe it was less than a meter wide. I shifted my position and tried reaching out again. This time my arms extended a little more. It seemed I was trapped in a small rectangular room. I cautiously stood up and my head hit the ceiling. It was a narrow space where I could kneel but could not stand up straight.
...It is cold.
Another sneeze escaped me, and I felt the cold. Fortunately, since I had been out, I was wearing a thick coat and gloves. There was fur on both my boots and cuffs, so if I stayed still, the air around me would warm up quickly and I could bear the cold.
...It is so cramped.
It had been a little mischievous impulse, but I was already regretting it. Maybe I should have listened to my father and mother and obediently gone through the marked window.
...Window? What was that about a window?
Suddenly, doubt arose in my thoughts. It should have been my own mischief that got me here, but I could not remember what I did or how I ended up in this cramped room.
...Come to think of it, what about that blindfold that person mentioned? Huh?
Who was that person? I felt like I had had a really happy dream, but I could not remember its contents. The more I tried to remember, the more the memory sank into the depths, a strange sensation. And what came up in place of the memory I was trying to recall was the homesickness that had only recently started to settle. A feeling of loneliness welled up from deep inside, and I became restless.
...That is right, I came to see Leo!
With that recollection coming back to me with a pop, my anxiety eased just a little. But then I found myself tilting my head again.
...Huh? Why Leo? I always called him Leonyaldo-san, did not I?
I had naturally thought of him as "Leo," but I always called him "Leonyaldo." Something was strange. Had something happened that suddenly changed how I addressed him?
...Hmm? But saying "Leonyaldo-san" feels somehow unnatural?
He was family, so adding "-san" was strange somehow. I thought that, but then why had I stubbornly called him "Leonyaldo-san" all this time? As I kept thinking without finding an answer, I gradually grew more anxious. Being trapped in this dark cramped room might also be a reason for my anxiety. Where even was this, anyway?
"Huh? It will not open?"
Light was coming in through a gap, so I thought it was a door, but when I pushed, it only wobbled slightly. Classic approach. If pushing does not work, try pulling. I took off my gloves and hooked my fingernails into the gap, but the door showed no sign of opening. So I tried sliding it sideways, but my fingers just slipped off. The only thing I learned was that the door was made of iron.
"Huh? Why? Did I not come in here by myself?"
The door that would not move no matter how I pushed or pulled made my settling anxiety stir again.
"Bart! Tabitha! Let me out!!"
I pounded on the door with all my might, hoping someone outside would notice, but the iron door absorbed my blows. It made a light pat-pat sound, but there was no way it was audible outside. The iron door that gave no response at all lit a fire of unease within me.
"Leo! Let me out! Leo!!"
I cried and wailed as I pounded on the door. I remembered coming into this room as a mischief. Which meant I might be locked in this room as punishment for my mischief. The connection formed in my head.
"I will not be mischievous anymore! I will be a good girl, so let me out! Leo!!"
Calling Leonardo's name, I pounded on the door while apologizing. The more I cried, the less I understood why I was trapped in this room.
"Leo!!"
I do not know how many times I called for Leonardo. I heard a small metallic click, then the creak of a hinge, and the light streaming through the gap grew wider. It seemed this punishment was finally over.
"...Leo?"
The door creaked open, and I thought I would see Leonardo's face beyond it. But what I saw on the other side of the door was the pale face of a strange man, his red eyes as lifeless as the dead.
No lies in the synopsis, a heartful (beatdown) story.
Typos and misspellings to be fixed at a later date. November 29th is Good Meat Day, so tomorrow's update will be skipped. A man has breasts he must draw even if it means taking a break from updates.
Typos and misspellings I found have been corrected.