222 - Searching for the Witch
"...Isn't Jean-Jacques going?"
I ask while peeking at Leonardo, who is packing a small bag for separate travel.
As punishment for having brought an infectious disease into the city of Grenore, even if by carelessness, Jean-Jacques is to be sent to Virup Fortress. He is accompanying this journey as one of the guards, also serving as escort for his transport, but his bags aren't packed. Is he not joining the escort to Waiyakku Valley?
"We need someone to watch the carriage itself too. His bones are more or less mended, but it's better to have him guard the carriage in town than to have him ride hard."
"So that means you're going to ride hard to Waiyakku Valley."
Even if it's just a small detour, it's still a considerable distance. It seems they plan to travel with a forced march so as not to take too many days.
"...If you're in such a hurry, wouldn't it be better for Hermine-sensei to wait in town too?"
"Your concern is unnecessary. I have riding experience as part of my ladylike accomplishments."
...Sometimes I wonder, what exactly is Hermine-sensei's definition of 'ladylike accomplishments'?
I gaze at Hermine, who has changed into riding trousers, and think deeply. I know this is prejudiced, but I feel like under the name of 'ladylike accomplishments,' Hermine could take down two or three Black Knights with self-defense techniques. Of course, it would be a problem if Black Knights chosen for their strength actually lost to a woman like Hermine, but she has that sort of mysterious presence about her.
...There's no way I can become a ladylike expert like Hermine-sensei, you know?
With such thoughts running through my mind, the preparations for the detour are completed as I stay out of the way so as not to hinder the work. I change into trousers too, pick up the packed lunch prepared by the inn, and depart.
"Should I learn to ride a horse too?"
"If Tina wants to learn, I can teach you, but there's no need to force yourself."
As usual, I ride on Leonardo's horse and ask about horseback riding. If it truly is one of the accomplishments of a lady, I suppose I must learn it.
...First of all, my legs are too short to ride a horse by myself, though.
I think I've grown at an average rate, but I'm still a bit small for my age. Perhaps it's not so much malnutrition from early childhood as it is that I'm simply the type of person who's petite. Horses and bicycles are basically the same. If I can't even mount one by myself, riding is impossible.
"Hermine-sensei says horseback riding is a ladylike accomplishment, but as an accomplishment, do you, Leonardo Big Brother, want me to master it?"
"If Tina wants to learn, I can teach you, but personally, horseback riding has dangers, so I'd like you to use the carriage."
I remember being scolded before about the fear of falling from a horse. It was a concern I couldn't really grasp since horses weren't familiar to me, but I think I've also heard stories in my previous life about horse racing jockeys falling and breaking bones, or being trampled by following horses and dying. Even if I can't really grasp it, I must never forget that there's always danger.
"...I want to be able to ride by myself, but it's fine to wait until I'm a bit bigger."
Since my short legs can't even mount a horse alone, I conclude by saying to teach me once I can. Some people might have long enough legs to ride alone even at eleven, but at least I can't right now. Considering safety, it's better to ride together with Leonardo on his horse as before.
As Leonardo said about riding hard, the journey to Waiyakku Valley really was a forced march. For me, that is. I could only stay silent while the horse ran to avoid biting my tongue, but Leonardo and Alfred were different. They chatted leisurely about the state of the surrounding trees and the lives of the people in the villages we passed through, and I was surprised at how their conversation was truly that of rulers.
Especially Alfred. I have a strong impression of him chasing after Alf, so I felt like I caught a glimpse of his princely side, and I couldn't help but feel I should adjust my attitude. He's friendly, easy to talk to, competitive, and a bit troublesome, but he seems to be a prince who knows when to act properly as a ruler's child. I'll try to respect him a bit more from now on.
...When I honestly told him exactly what I thought, he pinched my cheek, though.
That might have been Alfred's way of hiding his embarrassment. When we return to Grenore, I think I'll tell Alf that Alfred looked cool.
After riding for a day and night, we arrive at a place that looks somewhat familiar. Continuing straight on horseback, the lookout hut outside the valley comes into view.
...The mist before entering the valley is the same whether Aurelia is there or not.
I always thought it was a strange mist, but it's probably not a mist to protect Aurelia, but a mist that arises to protect the valley. We are once again enveloped in mist, and when we emerge from it, Aurelia's house is there.
The scene looks so unchanged from what I saw at the end of winter that I feel if I call out, Aurelia will show her face from inside the house. It's only a feeling, though. Aurelia isn't the type to dutifully show her face just because I call. She might show up on a whim, but when she does, she'd surely have a thoroughly annoyed look on her face.
I feel like jumping off the horse right away, but I hold myself back by grabbing the saddle. If I jump off here and get injured, Aurelia would be exasperated with me.
We pass through the fence and enter the front yard, and I wait for Leonardo to help me down from the horse. When my feet touch the ground, that's as far as my patience lasted.
"Aurelia-saaan, open up, pleeease!"
I knew in my head that Aurelia wasn't there, but the name that came out when I knocked on the door was Aurelia's. I realized my mistake immediately and tried to correct it to Paula's name, who should be the caretaker of the house, but the words wouldn't come. The name that left my mouth was, no matter what, Aurelia's name.
"Aurelia-san, I'm coming in, okay?"
I wait a little for a reply that I know won't come, and my spirits sink when there's still no response. But pretending not to notice my sinking feelings, I reach for the doorknob.
"...Huh? It won't open."
I try pulling the knob a few times, but the door only moves slightly and won't open. That's strange? When I look more carefully at the door, there's a new-looking lock attached at a height I can't reach.
—Ah, right, it's locked because she's away.
The word 'away' clicks into place in my head, and other important words spill out somewhere. While part of my mind understands that it's 'pointless,' my next action was, even to myself, strange.
...Maybe she's in the backyard?
I heard the news of her death properly. I was told the burial was complete, and I understood. And yet, I feel like if I look in the backyard, Aurelia might be tending to the vegetable patch, so I leave the front door and go around to the back.
"Aurelia-saaan?"
I call her name as I go around to the vegetable patch in the backyard, but Aurelia isn't there, as expected. So maybe the livestock shed? I go there too, but I can't find the person I'm looking for and feel disappointed. Other places Aurelia might be would be the storehouse and the workshop. She often went into the storehouse, but I've never once entered the workshop because Aurelia was protecting Saint Yuuta Hiraga's secret arts there. I only called out from outside at breakfast and dinner to say it was meal time.
...If I go into the workshop, even Aurelia might get angry and come out, right?
Pleased with my own clever trick, I open the door to the workshop, which I had previously followed the rules and never approached. The workshop, which I thought would be filled with compounding tools like mortars and scales and stored materials like medicinal herbs, was more sparsely furnished than I imagined. Old tools like a worn mortar and stone mill remain on the shelves, but there's nothing resembling medicines or their materials.
"Aurelia-san isn't in the workshop either."
Since no one is there, I gather a bit of courage and step inside the workshop. Not a single medicinal herb remains, but the entire room is saturated with their scent. It's the smell that always clung to Aurelia.
"...Tina, come out."
I hear Leonardo's voice from behind me and turn around. Leonardo, standing at the entrance of the workshop, has that troubled expression I love so much, but it also looks like he's about to cry.
"Paula opened the house's lock for us."
"So she wasn't away?"
"Paula lives in the annex. Normally..."
When I hear 'annex', I remember. Aurelia didn't only appear in her own house and garden. She would also show up in the annex's bath, kitchen, and living room.
"I haven't searched inside the house yet."
Saying that, I slip past Leonardo. Paula is there too, but greetings can wait.
Calling Aurelia's name, I dash into the annex. I search the bath where I was stripped on the first day, peek into the kitchen where Leonardo's crushed leaf powder was mixed into the pasta, and return to the living room where we three ate together.
...If she's not away, then Aurelia's house?
Unable to find Aurelia anywhere in the annex, I now dash into Aurelia's house. The door that was locked when I arrived opens easily now, leading me to mistakenly think it's because she's come back from outside.
"Aurelia-saaan, I came to play!"
There's no Aurelia in the living room I scan, so next I peek into the kitchen where Leonardo boiled the water he brought for hours, but Aurelia isn't there either. The only place left to search is the bedroom upstairs.
"...Where else haven't I looked?"
I stand dazed in the stark bedroom where not even small items, let alone the futon on the bed, remain. No trace of Aurelia having lived here remains at all.
After searching the entire house and failing to find Aurelia, I dejectedly descend the stairs. In the living room, where no one was supposed to be a moment ago, Alf is now standing.
"Alf-san, Aurelia-san isn't here. Do you have any idea where else she might be? She wasn't in the house, the annex, the backyard, or the workshop."
"...If she's not inside the house, she must be outside. Did you ask Leonardo?"
Told that Leonardo is in the backyard, I thank him and dash outside again. I feel like I've been running the whole time, but since I usually sit around all day, maybe this is good exercise.
"Leo, how long can we stay today?"
When he brought me here as a surprise in autumn, we made a hasty return. If he says we're leaving soon today too, I can't go too far.
"...I can't stay for many days, but I can linger a little."
"I see."
Then I'll be going, I say, turning my body, but he stops me to ask where I'm going. Since it would be a bit of a distance, perhaps I should inform my guardian of my destination.
"Aurelia-san might have thrown out her back in the forest again. She might be in trouble and unable to move, so I'm going to go get her."
"...I see. That happened before too."
Saying he'll come too, Leonardo follows behind me. It's a place where we often walked together to gather firewood, so it feels somehow like returning to when I first came to the valley. When I mention this as we walk, he picks me up for the first time in a while. It's fun being a bit higher up, but I refuse, saying Hermine would scold me if she saw. It's not proper behavior for an eleven-year-old lady and her guardian.
"Then we'll be scolded together."
"Hermine-sensei is strict with Leo, you know. She'll scold you plenty."
"Then Tina should protect me."
He says I must be tired from searching the whole house for Aurelia, and maybe so, I think, leaning my weight against Leonardo. When I relax in Leonardo's arms, drowsiness comes over me, but I fight it off. Only I and the Black Knight who helped me then know where Aurelia sat down with her thrown-out back. I'm the only one who can guide Leonardo now.
"...Aurelia-san isn't here either."
I look down at the place where Aurelia was once sitting and murmur. Leonardo, who has accompanied me this far, simply answers, "Yeah." He says nothing more.
"I know. It was all a lie. Aurelia-san isn't anywhere I search anymore."
Because she died, you know, I say, and my nose stings sharply. Of course Aurelia wouldn't suddenly appear no matter how much I pretend to forget she's dead and search for her.
The precursor to tears comes, and I purse my lips tightly. My eyes grow hot and my vision blurs.
...A lady controls her emotions. I won't cry noisily like a child, all ugly and undignified.
I recall Hermine's teachings, press my lips together, and hold back my tears. My body trembles as I try to suppress my sobs, but I hope that much can be forgiven. A beginner who's just started being conscious of ladylike behavior can't suppress everything all at once.
"Tina, Ms. Hartmann isn't here. It's okay to just be my little sister."
Saying that eleven is still a child, Leonardo pats my head with his big hand as I desperately press my lips together. It's okay to cry because I'm a child. I don't need to endure and be a lady.
"I, ...it's a secret from Hermine-sensei that I cried, okay?"
"Yeah."
The moment I hear Leonardo continue with "it's a secret," a sound escapes from my lips. After that is the same as before. Pushing aside the calm part of myself that says I'm eleven now, or crying won't bring Aurelia back, I cry loudly, driven by emotion.
Why did you die, I curse at Aurelia between sobs. I wanted you to teach me so many more things, I complain while clinging to Leonardo's neck. In my frustration, I even take it out on Leonardo by hitting his back, but Leonardo silently accepts it all. It reassures me that this person truly is my family.
Reassured, I suddenly become afraid.
My parents died, the Daltowas who were kind to me died, Teo who I became friends with was sold off somewhere, and Aurelia whom I came to adore like a grandmother also died. The people precious to me keep dying before me. And all that remains are a grandfather who doesn't seem to welcome me much, and a brother whose job as a knight means he might leave for the battlefield at any time.
...I don't want anyone else to die.
Everyone must die someday. That obvious truth now feels terribly frightening.
"Le, Leo, please don't die and leave me behind."
I pull my now slightly calmer body away and look into Leonardo's face. My words hitch with hiccups, but I don't mind and stare intently into Leonardo's black eyes.
"...Tina, don't you die and leave me behind either."
I can tell he was about to say that by order of things, he'd be the one to go first, but he corrects himself, so I pretend not to have heard. Leonardo seems to be gradually, very gradually, improving in his denseness.
...At this rate, maybe he'll find a bride too.
If his denseness toward women improves, it probably won't be hard for Leonardo to find a lover. His face isn't bad to begin with, and in this world, muscular strength is a welcome quality in a husband. Macho and gorilla-macho are not demerits. Someday, surely, a partner will appear for Leonardo too.
...I don't want that. I'll definitely get jealous. Like, don't take my big brother away.
I foresee such a future and, as if to shake off the anxiety, cling to Leonardo's thick neck. When I hug him with all my might, Leonardo, who endured being hit on the back, now cries out, "I can't breathe."
Typos and omissions again another day. Fixed any typos and omissions I found.