455 - Aaron's Position
...Huh? Something about the atmosphere...?
Alfred, who had said it was 'convenient' that I couldn't go outside, brought Aaron to the residence. Aaron was supposed to have come to Grenore as my guard, but apparently he hadn't been relieved of duty during the two years I was gone. The reason he hadn't shown himself until today was probably out of consideration for my condition.
When I looked up at Aaron after two years, his atmosphere had changed a bit. He didn't seem to have gotten any taller, but his shoulders seemed a bit wider. This was probably proof that he hadn't neglected his training even while I, his charge, was away. His armor of muscle had thickened.
And his expression, or rather, his facial features had become harsher. The tall Aaron was looking down at me with narrowed eyes, as if glaring, which made me quite uncomfortable.
"Aaron, what's the point of glaring at your charge?"
"I don't mean to be glaring..."
At Alfred's remark, Aaron's narrowed eyes opened. When both eyes were clearly open, I realized that Aaron's eyes didn't seem to be focusing. His face was turned toward me, as if wondering if I was over there, but our gazes didn't quite meet. And then, after a moment, perhaps frustrated that our eyes wouldn't meet, Aaron's eyes narrowed again.
"Um... has Aaron's eyesight gotten worse?"
"It's not that my eyesight has gotten worse so much as... I can't see things clearly. I can tell roughly that someone is in this area. ...You just waved your hand, didn't you."
When I tentatively waved my hand in front of Aaron's face, he reacted. He could perceive large movements like waving, but apparently couldn't tell how many fingers I was holding up or the expression on my face. He could roughly grasp the color of clothing from the overall shape, but couldn't make out fine details like embroidery on the collar or the shape of sleeves. He could apparently tell the gender of the person in front of him from their posture and such, but even that wasn't perfect. Apparently he couldn't accurately judge the distance of things far away, of course, but even things right in front of him.
...And even as he was explaining this, his eyes kept doing that.
When he let his guard down, Aaron would narrow his eyes trying to see things in front of him clearly. Unfortunately, to anyone who didn't know the circumstances, he just looked like a thuggish young man.
"Can't glasses do anything about it?"
"We already tried that. No matter the strength of the prescription, what I see doesn't change. It's probably not the eyes, but that the damage remains in the head."
"Damage...?"
Hmm, I wondered what had happened, and then quickly thought of something. I remembered hearing from Leonardo that during the kidnapping incident two years ago, Aaron had been found poisoned. If his eyesight had been lost due to some external factor, I couldn't think of anything else.
"...I'm sorry. This is my fault."
"No apology is necessary. Everything is the fault of the kidnappers and my own failure to fulfill my duty as a guard."
Aaron said it wasn't particularly inconvenient just because things were a little hard to see, but that was surely a lie. Since he couldn't see nothing at all, he could somehow manage to live, but not being able to read other people's expressions, let alone having a skewed sense of distance, should be fatal for a knight and a guard.
He couldn't exactly be entrusted with outside guard duty, but within the limited area of the residence, if he crammed the floor plan into his head, he should be able to fulfill his role to some extent. Thinking that, Alfred had apparently brought Aaron to the residence. Since I couldn't go outside right now, there was no problem even with Aaron, who had difficulty guarding outdoors.
I left guiding Aaron, who wanted to re-memorize the layout, to Mirshe. Watching Aaron's back as he left the living room, I asked Alfred about Aaron's future.
"...What will happen to Aaron from now on?"
The reason Alfred had said it was 'convenient' was because I couldn't go outside the residence. I had tried many times since then, but I still couldn't go outside. Certainly, it could be said that I, who couldn't leave the residence, and Aaron, who could probably work within the limited range of indoors, were well-matched.
However, I intended to eventually overcome my trauma and go outside to welcome Kalisa. I couldn't remain a convenient charge for Aaron forever. If that happened, having a guard who could only protect indoors would surely become problematic.
"With his eyes in that state, isn't it difficult for him to continue as a knight, let alone a guard?"
"Aaron lost his eyesight while carrying out his duties. For now, since he himself says he wants to work, I'm returning him to guard duty... but if you're worried about his livelihood should he retire, you don't need to be, Christina."
Retired knights received a fixed amount every year, so they wouldn't have trouble making a living. Especially in Aaron's case, since his retirement was effectively hastened by injuries sustained on the job, the amount was apparently enough to hire a servant to assist him.
"It's a waste to retire Aaron when he still has his strength and skill, even if he can't see."
"If only his eyesight could be restored," Alfred sighed.
If it were poison, you could cure it by detoxifying. If it were an injury, you could heal it. There were also diseases that could be cured with simple surgery.
But Aaron had been injured in his eyes, organs that were almost exposed even if protected by eyelids.
They had washed out the poison, and though time had passed, they had also performed detoxification. They had tried every possible treatment, and apparently Aaron himself had been working hard on rehabilitation for these two years. Even so, he hadn't been able to recover his original eyesight. With the medical techniques of this world, there were still few methods to try when someone had suffered some kind of brain damage. The brain was like a precision machine, a place that even the technology of my previous life had been hesitant to touch. I suppose we had no choice but to give up on Aaron's eyesight.
"If only Camille could heal him..."
"...Who is that?"
At the unfamiliar name that came out of Leonardo's mouth, I looked up at him, wondering if he knew of a famous doctor. When I prompted him to continue, asking who he meant, Leonardo looked at my face and slightly furrowed his brow. Since the Divine King Festival, my consciousness had become clearer, but on the other hand, my memories of the two years I'd been kidnapped seemed to have become hazy, he said.
...So, someone I met while I was kidnapped?
I wondered who it could be, and then quickly thought of the old man who had supposedly sheltered me and Leonardo in a cave. I'd only been given a brief explanation of what happened, but I thought the name I'd heard then was 'Camille'.
...He was a reincarnator kept by the Empire, the one who made instant coffee, right?
Once the dots connected, the information linked together one after another. It was just like me to remember Camille through food-related connections. My food obsession and memory were directly linked.
"...Huh? Camille-san is the one who made instant coffee, right? Was that person a doctor?"
"I don't think he's a doctor... but he was researching how to draw out the power of spirits. There was a device that healed injuries in an instant, and Tina got excited calling it magic..."
"Don't tell me you don't remember?" Leonardo asked, and I latched on instead. What do you mean, magic? What's going on?
"Is there really magic?! Can it really heal injuries in an instant?"
"Christina, your lady (cat) is showing." (T/N - In Japanese, 淑女 'lady' has the alternate reading ねこ 'cat', playing on the phrase 猫を被る 'to wear a cat / hide one's true nature'.)
"Before magic (romance), a lady (cat) is secondary!" (T/N - 魔法 'magic' has the alternate reading ロマン 'romance', continuing the wordplay.)
"Alright, try saying that in front of Ms. Hartmann."
"...Cats are cute. I love cats."
At the mention of Hermine's name, I put my lady back on. I was very interested in the magic that Camille was supposedly researching in the Zugall Empire, but since I couldn't go outside, there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't go hear the detailed story, nor could I go see the research.
"I wonder if it can be treated as an injury, but magic sure is nice."
I really wish it could heal Aaron's eyes, I thought, groping through my hazy memories. According to Leonardo's explanation, I had apparently grown quite attached to Camille, but I couldn't even remember his face. That was just like me, being so heartless.
...Huh?
As I searched my memories using information about Camille, perhaps because it was associated with the information 'old man', I inexplicably recalled Bertrand's face. His white hair was sparse for his age, so he didn't really feel like an old man, but he was still an old man.
...Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a while, have I?
I wondered what Bertrand was up to these days. Just randomly. Really just randomly, my thoughts drifted to Bertrand, and then I slammed the brakes on that line of thinking.
...Speak of the devil, after all.
I still wasn't good with him, so I switched my thoughts away from Bertrand. There were plenty of coincidences in the world where someone you casually thought about showed up the next day. He wasn't someone I wanted to meet if there was no business, so I quickly swept him out of my thoughts with a broom.
With Aaron as my guard, I began training to gradually spend time away from Leonardo. Even just going to the study to get a book had caused my clinginess to resurface, so this time I was more careful, starting with going out into the corridor separated by a door for five minutes, then ten minutes, gradually lengthening the time I spent apart. However, I wasn't sure if this method was really effective. Since it had worked just by trying it, maybe distance was important after all.
...Maybe I should try going out to the back garden?
I decided to put a little physical distance from Leonardo, and moved away from in front of the living room door. Having Leonardo right inside the moment I opened the door didn't feel like much of a training exercise. So, even if I was apart for the same amount of time, I thought I'd try opening up some distance.
The thought of trying the back garden was just a coincidence.
The goal was to put physical distance from Leonardo, but the mental strain on me was intense. It hadn't been a problem when I was just separated by a single door, but when I moved to clearly different places like the entrance hall or the study, anxiety came welling up. Especially the entrance hall. Just seeing the front door leading outside was dangerous enough to make me want to flee back to the living room. But running back to the living room immediately wouldn't do any good for training, so I averted my eyes from the front door and moved to the kitchen. Even if I was pushing myself, the kitchen should be mentally easier than the entrance hall.
And when I moved to the kitchen and saw the door leading to the back entrance, I suddenly thought. With a natural feeling, I thought, let's try going out to the back garden.
...Maybe this means I've progressed a little.
I opened the back door and nervously stuck only my head outside. A cold wind came in, but that was all. There was no creeping chill, no nausea rising in my throat.
Just in case, I had Salisa prepare a washbasin I'd recently named 'Tub the Fifth' and a coat, then squeezed my eyes shut tightly and dashed out from the back entrance into the back garden. My exposed cheeks were cold from going from indoors to the winter outdoors where the snow had begun to melt, but just like when I'd stuck my head out, that was all. Just cold. No nausea. My legs didn't freeze up, and I didn't break into a cold sweat.
"...Maybe I'm okay?"
I nervously opened my eyes, and it was the bright outdoors. It was bitingly cold compared to indoors, but there was none of the usual strange sensation.
"Huh? Why? I went outside."
I took two steps, three steps, to check if this was a dream. My footprints remained in the snow, and my mind slowly understood that I really could go outside.
"Could it be that, to me, the back garden is part of the residence?"
Just standing in the entrance hall made me anxious, and seeing the front door made me want to run back to the living room. But even though the back garden was undeniably outdoors, I had been able to go out. Since I, who was now terrified of going outside, had been able to go out, the back garden probably wasn't outside, but inside the house.
...Come to think of it, the front entrance was the boundary with the outside where guests came in, but the back garden was a place for the family to enjoy, right?
Maybe I could even go out to the front if I didn't use the front entrance. Thinking such things, I took a short walk in the back garden, which I hadn't visited in a while. During this time, the physical distance from Leonardo should have been increasing, but perhaps because my mind was occupied with something new, I didn't feel so anxious that I wanted to flee back to the living room.
...I can walk quite a bit.
When I glanced back, Aaron was following me, still narrowing his eyes as usual. It seemed he had memorized the layout of trees and flower beds within his range of movement in the back garden. Thinking this should be fine, I let my guard down, and when the service gate leading outside the grounds came into view, I froze. As I thought, I seemed to consider the back garden as part of the residence. When I saw the gate leading outside the grounds, the same anxiety came over me as when I saw the front door.
...If the service gate is no good, what about the back gate?
Beyond the back gate was Grenore Fortress. I'd been told not to use it except for urgent business, but just approaching should be fine.
...Yeah, the back gate is no good either.
I had managed to get out to the back garden, but it seemed I still couldn't go beyond that to outside the grounds. Beyond the back gate was the fortress, and in the fortress were the Black Knights. I knew it was absolutely safe for me, with no danger at all, but from the point where I could see the wooden door of the back gate, my feet wouldn't move forward. The 'outside' I could move around in seemed to be just the area around the back garden's flower beds and vegetable patch.
...But still, the fact that I naturally thought to try the back garden is progress, isn't it?
When spring came, I might be able to sunbathe in the back garden. I should gradually expand the range I could move around in, I thought, cutting today's walk short and returning inside the residence through the back entrance.
When I reported to Leonardo that I seemed able to go out to the back garden, he suggested we train for going outside. Not me going outside, but Leonardo going outside. Since he couldn't return to his position as fortress lord at this rate, he wanted me to become independent enough from my big brother that I wouldn't feel anxious even when he wasn't around.
At first, I started by spending time in the back garden or my room, gradually creating time apart from Leonardo. In the beginning, I couldn't even stay apart for thirty minutes, but as we repeated it, I stopped feeling anxious about being apart. I'd always been aware that I was a clingy child who stuck close to Leonardo, but I hadn't been as attached as I was recently, so it felt like I was returning to our original distance.
Once I succeeded in spending half a day apart, Leonardo gradually began going out. First to the front gate, then to the main gate of the fortress. Leonardo's outings extended in distance, and during that time I waited for Leonardo's return by the wall farthest from the front door in the entrance hall. As the time I spent clinging to Leonardo when he came home shortened, Leonardo cut the hair that had grown during those two years, and at the end of winter, he returned to work as the lord of the fortress.
I waited in the entrance hall for Leonardo to come home from the fortress for the first three days or so. Gradually I got used to Leonardo's absence, and having learned that he would always come back, on the fourth day I was able to leave the entrance hall. Even so, I couldn't stop myself from stationing myself by the window where I could see the front gate, so I would know whenever he came home.
Leonardo always came back at night, and he also returned to the residence to eat lunch. Considering the burden of travel on Leonardo, I knew I needed to get back to being able to be alone quickly, but I noticed one thing about my current life.
...Isn't this more generous treatment than when I was taken in at age eight?
Back then, the fortress had been busy dealing with the Wards disease, but having just been taken in, I was left alone in the residence. Tabitha and Bart were there, so I hadn't been left completely alone, but the treatment was vastly different from now, when Leonardo came back at least twice a day. Even though he'd taken in eight-year-old me, Leonardo, who was supposed to be my guardian, had dumped my care entirely on the servants and had apparently been perfectly fine not coming back for a week at a time.
...They're treating me like I'm under eight?!
Once I realized it, it was a shocking truth. I really needed to get myself together. I could only leave my height to nature and wait for my growth spurt, but my inner self was up to me. Even if I couldn't expect to be treated according to my real age right away, I at least wanted to be treated like I looked eleven or twelve.
Being treated like under eight is just too much.
X Treated like under eight O Leonardo's big brother level went up
Will fix typos and errors at a later date.