3 - Reality Was Far More Cruel Than I Had Imagined
Once the training for Kai and Kara was over, Kamiira announced she would go secure Ray's meal and left the cave.
Until Kamiira returned, the four of them were left to watch the place.
"Ei! Ei!"
"Oh, not bad, Kara. That one was pretty good."
"Hehe. Alright, ei!"
Kara was immediately testing the physical techniques she had just learned from her mother on Rui. From Ray's perspective, it was impressive enough that it was hard to believe she had only learned them today. Even now, Ray could not clearly see Kara's fists.
Consequently, Ray couldn't help but be impressed by Rui as well. Rui was parrying the fists Kara unleashed one after another with a light movement of a single hand, all while sitting on the ground. Ray hadn't been able to see Rui's true strength today, but just by watching this, he could tell that Rui possessed considerable power, just as he had imagined.
Kai watched the two of them intently from a short distance away. Just by observing them for half a day, Ray had a general understanding of the difference in personality between Kara and Kai. Kara was fearless and proactive in everything. Kai was the exact opposite, shy and reserved.
Even now, he couldn't bring himself to say he wanted a turn, and he just watched enviously with his lips slightly pouted. That sight was so adorable that Ray, who had been staring, accidentally made eye contact with Kai.
"..."
Kai stared at Ray. Even without words, Ray knew what he was hoping for.
"Shall I be your partner?"
Ray spoke the words that answered that expectation.
"Mm!"
Hearing Ray's words, Kai ran over happily. That sight, too, felt incredibly adorable to Ray. However, he couldn't just be happy about the cuteness. If asked whether he was capable of handling Kai, Ray had absolutely no confidence.
"Start slowly, okay?"
"Mm! Ya!"
"Ngh!"
The result was as expected. Kai's unleashed fist perfectly pierced Ray's chin. Ray fell backward while still sitting cross-legged.
"Ah, that hurts..."
"Muu."
As Ray stood up while holding his chin, Kai pouted dissatisfiedly.
"Um... alright, let's change the method a bit."
"Hm?"
"When I open my palm, you hit it. How about that?"
With this, he wouldn't get punched in the face. Ray thought he had come up with a great method, but...
"...Mm."
"Alright, here I go."
First, he opened his left hand by his side. The moment he did, a slapping sound echoed, and Ray felt as if his arm was being pulled backward.
"...It hurts."
Ray's thinking had been naive. Kai's fist was painful enough even when received with the palm.
"Muu."
"Ah, next one."
Responding to Kai's prompt, he opened his right hand at a slightly higher position. Again, the moment it opened, Kai's fist pierced the palm. Enduring the pain, he put his left hand down. Right hand up, right hand down. Even as he gradually increased the speed, Kai followed along perfectly.
"Ya! Ya! Ya!"
Kai seemed to be getting into it, and his shouts gradually grew louder.
"Heh, you're amazing."
"Amazing?"
"Yeah, you hit the center of the open palm perfectly. You're quite something."
"Hehe."
Kai flashed a shy smile at Ray's praise. At that cuteness, Ray momentarily forgot the pain. Only momentarily, for a few seconds.
"Alright, let's keep going."
"Mm!"
Watching Kai continue to hit his palm with such enjoyment, Ray involuntarily shed tears. It was because Kai was cute, and definitely not because the pain felt like his hand was being torn off.
◇◇◇
"Ray-kun... are you an idiot?"
"...I have no excuse."
Ray hung his head before Kamiira, who was looking at him with an exasperated face. In the end, the sparring with Kai continued until Kamiira returned. By that time, Ray's hands were swollen to more than double their original size. Because of the intense pain, he couldn't even move a single finger.
"They don't seem to be broken. Anyway, go to the water source and cool them down."
"Yes..."
As told by Kamiira, Ray went to the water source in the back and immersed both hands in the cold water.
"Oh, this feels good."
The chilled water felt wonderful on his feverish hands. As he kept his hands immersed for a while, he felt the pain receding. He tentatively tried to bend his fingers in the water. There was still some pain, but it wasn't unbearable. Just to be safe, he decided to leave them there a little longer. When he had a moment of slow time, he found himself thinking about the memories he couldn't recall. He knew clearly that he had been born and raised in a world different from this one. He had been born and raised in a country called Japan and had attended high school. He could recall some of the things he had learned at school to some extent. He felt he could recite all the multiplication tables. The books he liked, television programs, and the names of celebrities were also fine. However, when it came to memories of himself and the people around him, only vague afterimages floated up, as if a mist had covered his mind. He couldn't even remember his parents' faces.
(Come to think of it, this might be how amnesia looked in dramas. A feeling of 'Who am I, where is this?' If that's the case, the name Ray has also become suspicious. My real name might be different.)
He thought about it for a while, but as expected, he couldn't remember anything. Even if he could remember, this was another world. If he remembered things like his family, it would only make him more miserable, so Ray forced himself to be convinced of that and stopped thinking.
"I think I'm good now."
Once both hands were completely cooled, he stood up to return to the room. When he looked back, Kai was there, looking at Ray worriedly.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, totally fine. Look."
He held his hands out and repeated opening and closing them. There was a bit of pain, but he endured it.
"I'm sorry."
"I told you, I'm fine."
He patted the head of the depressed Kai. The silky hair felt good. Then, Ray cupped Kai's cheeks with both hands.
"Cold."
"Ah, sorry."
Releasing his palms, he then poked Kai's cheeks with his fingers, and Kai narrowed his eyes as if tickled.
"Alright, shall we go back?"
Having fully enjoyed the soft cheeks, Ray called out to Kai.
"Mm."
"Let's do it again, okay?"
"...Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I found out that it's fine if I cool them with water. Besides, I'll get used to it eventually."
"Are you really okay?"
"I'm fine. This is also training. Kai-chan, help me become stronger too."
"Mm!"
Kai nodded happily. Ray wondered if he had siblings in his original world. Such a thought crossed Ray's mind, but he shook his head lightly to brush it away and returned to the room holding hands with Kai.
When he returned to the room, the meal Kamiira had prepared was supposed to be waiting, but looking at what was placed on the table, Ray tilted his head. They looked like fruits. However, they were all so vividly colored that they didn't exactly whet the appetite. The colors were such that the question of whether these were actually edible arose.
"...Um."
"There is something I must tell Ray-kun first."
Kamiira spoke to the bewildered Ray with a serious look in her eyes.
"What is it?"
"For Ray-kun, mealtime will be a painful experience."
"Why is that?"
"I will explain. In this forest, almost nothing that the Human Race can eat can be gathered."
"Huh?"
At the unexpected words, a bewildered sound involuntarily escaped Ray's mouth.
"Since the Human Race of this world cannot eat them, it is likely impossible for Ray-kun as well."
Regardless of Ray's state of not understanding what was being said, Kamiira continued speaking in a calm voice. That attitude let Ray know that the content she was describing was the truth.
"Then, what should I do?"
"If there is nothing you can eat, then you simply need to become able to eat it."
"I don't understand what you mean."
"You gradually accustom your body. To a body that is strong against poison and paralysis."
"...And how do I do that?"
The method came to mind, but hoping for a denial, he asked Kamiira.
"Just eat enough so that you don't die."
"I knew it... is there actually a possibility of getting used to it?"
"I don't know. But we have no choice but to try. Otherwise, you'll starve to death, right?"
"...What about the option of becoming kin?"
"That is forbidden!"
The other means he thought of was strongly denied by Kamiira.
"But..."
"If you become a member of the Demon Race, Ray-kun will also be in a position to be hunted by this world. I don't want Ray-kun to become like that. I want you to live in this world properly, with your head held high."
"...I understand."
When stared at with Kamiira's sincere eyes, Ray could no longer say anything. Rather than life outside the forest, life with Kamiira was better. That was what he actually wanted to say.
"But why did you choose a place like this? Even if meals aren't necessary, it's an excessively harsh location, isn't it?"
"From the nearest road to where we are now, let's see. Half a month at my full speed. For the Human Race, it would take a month no matter how much they hurried."
"Is there that much of a difference in movement speed?"
Ray became more concerned about this than the depth of the forest.
"Yes. But simple foot speed isn't the only reason."
"Meaning?"
"There are things necessary for the Human Race that are unnecessary for me. Meals and sleep."
Being able to continue moving without drinking or eating. That was one of the reasons for the large difference in movement speed.
"I heard about the meals, but sleep too? The Vampio race doesn't need to sleep?"
"No, of course sleep is necessary. But compared to the Human Race, it can be done in a shorter amount of time. Only when pushing myself, though. Normally, I sleep for about the same amount of time."
"I see. So you can move faster because you don't need that much time."
"Correct."
"Did you choose this place because it's that far away?"
"I already told you, didn't I? There is almost nothing edible in this forest. To venture deep into this forest, one must prepare food for that many days. No human would go through all that trouble to go to the dangerous depths. Therefore, for us, it is a safe place with a low possibility of being found by the Human Race."
"Ah, I see."
Not a place where the Human Race doesn't approach, but a place where they cannot approach. Yet, for the Vampio race, it was a place where they could live, albeit harshly. That was this forest. It was a perfect place to live in hiding.
"Precisely because we are the Vampio race, who do not require meals, it is a place where we can live for a long time."
"But what about blood?"
"The blood of Magic Beasts."
"Wait, then can't Magic Beasts be eaten?"
"For the Human Race, it's basically impossible. It's only because we are the Demon Race that it's fine."
"Why is that?"
Asking one thing only gave birth to another question.
"If you eat them, the inevitable result is being corrupted by the chaotic magic power the Magic Beasts possess. You would no longer be sane."
"What is chaotic magic power?"
"The magic power of Magic Beasts is different from normal. I suppose I could say it is violated by madness. Because of that magic power, Magic Beasts have an aggressive nature."
"Why is the Demon Race fine?"
"Thanks to the resilience of our magic power. The magic power of the Demon Race is far higher in purity compared to the Human Race. We have the power to purify the magic power of Magic Beasts."
"I see."
It's poison even for the Demon Race. But the Demon Race has the power to withstand that poison, while the Human Race does not. That was how Ray understood it.
"And so, this is the midday meal. Is this amount about right?"
"Huh?"
What was placed before him was a piece of a bright blue strawberry-like fruit, split into thirds.
"This is poison. If you ate one whole, you'd probably die."
"With just one of these?"
"That's how it is. Just to be safe, don't put it all in your mouth at once."
"...Yes."
Even though he was told not to put it in his mouth at once, the thing that looked like fruit was only about the size of a thumb tip. Having no choice, he extended his tongue and licked it.
"It's sweet!"
Contrary to its appearance, it was a fruit with a very sweet and rich aroma. At that deliciousness, Ray involuntarily tried to pop the piece in his hand into his mouth, but Kamiira's voice stopped him.
"No!"
"Ah."
"Don't forget just because it's delicious. It is poison."
"That's right."
Suppressing the temptation to put it in his mouth, he limited himself to licking the fruit. He felt like he might actually starve to death with a meal like this, but he decided not to say that for now. Kamiira had thought of a way to help him. Ray couldn't call that a waste. Because it was well-ripened, it disappeared from Ray's hand quickly just by licking it.
"How is it?"
"...My chest is starting to feel a bit nauseous."
There was no doubt it was poison. And a very fast-acting one at that. Immediately after finishing licking it, an intense heartburn attacked Ray.
"Endure it. If you throw it up, there's no point in forcing yourself to eat it."
"Yes..."
The nausea in his chest grew even worse. Not only that, but it felt as if his entire body was beginning to radiate heat. His body was hot. Yet, he felt a chill as if the blood was draining from his entire body. A very complex sensation was attacking Ray's whole body. The eyes of the four people watched Ray worriedly. He tried to return a smile to reassure them, but his body wouldn't listen. Rather than a smile, Ray's face was a contorted expression, which instead expressed his suffering. Eventually, even sitting became painful for Ray.
"C-can I lie down for a bit?"
"Of course. Rui! Bring the futon!"
"Ah, yeah."
In the end, unable to wait for Rui to bring the futon, Ray collapsed on the spot. If he had completely lost consciousness, he would have been released from the suffering, but even that was not permitted. In his hazy consciousness, groans leaked from Ray's mouth at the pain that constantly attacked him. And what tormented Ray even more were the forgotten past memories that suddenly floated into his head. Days of cruel bullying. The one who saved Ray from that was a single friend. Having gained a reassuring friend, Ray was released from that, but what awaited him beyond that was the betrayal of the friend he had cherished. The person themselves had no awareness of betraying him. That, in turn, was what made it painful for Ray. The stronger the light of the friend who remained by his side and shone, the more Ray was reminded of the thickness of the shadow that was himself. And when he realized that the last remaining sliver of light was also an illusion, Ray ended his own life. And... beyond that, he still couldn't remember.
The days of bullying just circled through his head from the beginning. Over and over again. At the unpleasant memories he was forced to see, dark emotions gradually covered the inside of his head. Ray felt himself sinking into the bottom of a dark, dark abyss. He desperately reached out toward a light that could be faintly seen in the distance. It wouldn't reach. The moment he almost gave up, something warm wrapped around Ray's desperately extended hand.
"Ray-kun."
A warm voice reached his ears.
"Ray-kun! Pull yourself together!"
That voice gradually became clearer. A sweet scent tickled his nostrils. When he opened his eyes slightly, a white, shining goddess was there.
"...Kamiira-san?"
"You've woken up! Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were going to die just like this."
"...I seem to be okay. How long was I...?"
"Half a day. It's almost sunset."
"I see. That long..."
"I'm sorry. I was shallow."
"No, I'm not dead. Getting used to it starts from now."
"You don't have to be so considerate. You can blame me."
"I was saved by Kamiira-san. I'm full of gratitude, so I have no feeling of blame at all."
For some reason, these words came out of his mouth. If he had sunk into the darkness like that, he felt he would have died. That was how Ray felt.
"Ray-kun."
Just like that, Kamiira gently hugged Ray's head.
(This... might be quite lucky. It seems Kamiira-san is the type who looks thinner than she is. The swell of her breasts is against my face...)
"Ow!"
The time of bliss was very brief. Ray's head, released by Kamiira, collided directly with the ground.
"You seem fine, then?"
"I've been wondering, can Kamiira-san read people's hearts?"
"Reading is the wrong word. Sensing is more accurate. I can vaguely tell what kind of emotion a person is currently having."
"I knew it."
"It's very rough. Affection, hostility, caution, things like that."
"And me right now?"
"Lewd thoughts."
"...I'm sorry."
"Well, the fact that you can still have lewd thoughts is the mysterious thing about Ray-kun."
"Hm?"
Kamiira looked at Ray with a smile. He could tell she wasn't angry, but Ray didn't understand the meaning of the smile.
"Anyway, I'm glad. That you woke up."
"Yes. But my body feels sluggish."
"That's only natural. Stay in bed all day today. Can you return to the room? If you can't..."
"Ah, I'm okay."
In reality, it was quite tough, but thinking that Kamiira would feel responsible if he showed signs of suffering, Ray forced his body up and stood.
"Are you really okay?"
"I can't say I'm completely fine, but somehow."
As Ray tried to head toward the room, Kamiira called out to him.
"Please endure it for a while. I'll try to ask if there are any other methods."
"Will you ask your husband?"
"No, there are other members of the Demon Race hiding in this forest besides us."
"Heh. Are those people also of the Vampio race?"
"There are Vampio race, but other species too. In this case, it might be better to ask other species."
"Please do."
Holding a slight hope at Kamiira's words, he headed toward his room. However, the hope soon vanished from his heart, and complex emotions swirled.
(Was that the 'revolving lantern' they say you experience at the moment of death?)
Past memories he didn't want to remember. Malice from those around him, the betrayal of a friend he trusted. His own weakness in being unable to endure it. And the meaning of living in another world after ending such a life. Why did he try to die—no, why did he die? And now, why is he living? Questions with no answers floated in his head. Once again, his feelings sank darkly. Suddenly, he felt as if he smelled a sweet scent that shouldn't be there. He remembered when he woke up. The goddess who was right in front of him, and the sensation of that goddess's soft breasts remaining on his cheek.
(Haa, it was only for a moment, but I was happy.)
The end of the second day in another world, which he thought would end in the worst mood, was able to end with a warm, happy feeling.