kscans

Chapter 102 - Tweedledum and Tweedledee

"So you see, parfaits absolutely need cornflakes. You get it?"

"They're fine with or without them. I think your whole 'it has to be this way!' attitude is questionable, Takahashi."

Suzuki argues back that parfaits should be free. While thinking this debate is only going to heat up more, I say:

"...Hey, you guys."

"What?"

"What do you think, Satou?"

"Are you forgetting something? The reason you called me out here."

"Oh."

It was about rejoining the Mutual Aid Society, wasn't it? Don't tell me you got embarrassed, changed the subject, and ended up just chatting normally without realizing it. Well, I was the one who derailed the conversation first, but still.

"...Right, that's what it was."

"...I completely forgot."

My parfait had reached its fifth serving. At this point, I'm starting to think I might as well try every variety they have.

"Personally, if it's going to be awkward, I don't think you need to force yourself to go back."

"No... I mean, I'm hanging out with you again now."

"Yeah. Then it'd be better if we're together, right?"

"I see. So what do we do? I mean, what should I do?"

It's not like I'm going to put in a word with the president. The president was the one who brought up rejoining the Mutual Aid Society in the first place.

"You know how there was that group registration system we never used?"

"Ah... yeah, there was something like that."

That party registration thing, right? It's been quite a while since I read the regulations, so my memory's fuzzy, but I recall that party registration gave you access to support services you couldn't get solo. I think all the dealings with the Mutual Aid Society went through the party representative... ah, so that's the idea. Officially you'd be part of the Mutual Aid Society, but as a member of a party I lead, so it might reduce the awkwardness a bit?

"Basically, you want me to act as a buffer."

"Yeah... sorry for the trouble..."

"Nah, it's fine. Something like that's no trouble at all."

Honestly, negotiations with the Mutual Aid Society are practically nonexistent anyway. I do owe them for things like Rika's situation, but they owe me more. Plus, the debt I created could have been handled without the Mutual Aid Society anyway, like when I licked that American's shoes before. Even though I'm just a regular member, my position is higher than theirs, so they'll probably be considerate without me having to do anything.

"Well then, shall we go right away?"

"Sure."

That settled it. We went to headquarters so the paperwork could be processed quickly. When we brought up group registration at the reception desk, they immediately prepared the documents for us. Name, address, phone number, and stamp your seal and you're done, but... here a huge problem emerged.

"..."

The party name.

"I should get to decide, right?"

"I should get to decide, right?"

"I should get to decide, right?"

It was perfectly simultaneous. The atmosphere grew tense... but we maintained a superficially calm exchange of words.

"Hey now, I'm the leader here, you know?"

"That's a separate matter."

"Exactly. This kind of thing should be decided by someone with good taste."

"That's me."

"That's me."

"That's me."

Oh my, the receptionist girl looks frightened. Can't you three tone down that bloodlust a little?

"You too."

"...OK. This isn't getting us anywhere. If we all have candidates, why don't we put them forward?"

"Then we'll decide which one's best. I already have one in mind."

"Me too."

"What a coincidence. So do I."

"Then let's say them at the same time."

The other two nodded. We coordinated our breathing and opened our mouths simultaneously.

"Satou Fisheries"

"Takahashi Transport"

"Suzuki Trading"

...These guys... seriously... Ugh, my head hurts. But I have to say it... good grief.

"Hey! If you're going to use names, it should be the leader's! Why are you subordinates pushing your own names?!"

"Sure, you're the leader on paper, but when it comes to who's the voice of reason and the stopper in this trio, isn't it me?"

So Suzuki makes the insane claim that she's effectively the leader.

"Hey Suzuki! You're mistaken! Obviously I'm the most reasonable one! I'm the conscience of this trio and the leader!"

"Obviously it has to be Satou here! Do you guys know? Satou is the most common surname in Japan, you know?"

"So what?!"

"It's the will of the people!"

I'm not sure that's really the will of the people, but... in situations like this, whoever pushes through wins. I won't lose to second and third place Suzuki and Takahashi. I'm here carrying the hopes of all the Satous.

"We're not getting anywhere like this! Hey, miss! You were listening to our conversation, right?!"

"Huh?!"

"Could you tell us which team name you think is best out of the ones we mentioned?"

"Um, well..."

"You guys are bothering this young lady! If you pressure her like that, she won't be able to honestly say Satou Fisheries is the best!"

"Huh?!"

That said, having a third party make the judgment isn't a bad idea. Let's exclude the receptionist though. She's trembling and it's pitiful.

"Let's ask Chika-san for her opinion."

"Don't pick someone who's obviously on your side!"

"...But Saionji-san is pretty fair and tough."

I switch my phone to speaker mode and call Chika-san. After a few rings, she picks up. I can hear Rika's voice in the background, so it seems like the mother and daughter were doing something together.

"What's wrong, Hiro?"

"Well, these idiots Takahashi and Suzuki started saying crazy things..."

I briefly explain what happened and ask her to judge.

"..."

"Saionji, you're a capable woman. You understand, right?"

"Saionji-san. I trust you'll reach a wise conclusion."

"You guys... that's exactly what's wrong with you."

Don't put obvious pressure on her. You're making Chika-san uncomfortable. Jeez, these guys are really hopeless. This is exactly why I'm needed!

"Hiro."

"Yeah."

"Takahashi."

"Yeah."

"Suzuki."

"Yes."

Is it just me? Chika-san's voice sounds very cold. Just my imagination... oh wait, she's probably exasperated with these guys. I get it, I get it.

"Do you three know the expression 'tweedledum and tweedledee'?"

"Huh?"

"That's exactly what this is. Rika and I are busy making sweets, so I'm hanging up. Bye."

Only the lonely beeping of the dial tone echoes. We were silent. We looked at each other in silence, and then:

"Huh?"

Wh-what does that mean...?