kscans

Chapter 128 - I'm Five!

"Mama."

"Oh my, what is it, Hideo-kun?"

"Gimme a secret gadget that'll let me do whatever I want with the whole world."

"Don't get smart with me, you thirty-five-year-old."

Mama spat the words out.

"But wait. If you take the three and the ten away from thirty-five...?"

"Don't you go taking things away on your own."

So the five-year-old act was a failure. Not that it would have been good if it had worked. People would have wondered what a five-year-old was doing in a drag bar.

"You really know how to lay it on thick with people who'll let you, Chief."

"Of course."

You can only get away with that with people who can handle it. If you try to lean on someone who has no leeway, you'll both just end up collapsing.

"I'll have a beer to start."

"I'm feeling pretty flush, so you can order something expensive, you know."

"You idiot. It's been decided since before the dawn of history that my first drink is always a beer."

I just love beer. I'm in love with it. Hopelessly. Expensive liquor is delicious in its own right, and I enjoy it from time to time, but when I want to relax, nothing but a beer will do.

"Oh my, is Inoue-kun paying tonight?"

"Yep. I won the lottery, so I figured I'd give some of my windfall back to the chief, since he's always looking out for me."

"I see. Fufu, you two really are good friends."

"We've known each other since I was just a rookie."

He's really come a long way.

""Cheers!""

We clinked our glasses together in a toast. I drank down about half of mine. I felt a sensation as if the flavor of the barley and the bitterness stinging my tongue were revitalizing every cell in my body. It's a feeling you can only get from that first drink after a long day of work.

"Ahhh...!"

Beer is invincible, isn't it. It's invincible on its own, but then the season of summer comes along and gives it an even more powerful buff.

"By the way, Hideo-chan, are you a little tired?"

"Oh my, can you tell?"

"Of course I can tell. We've known each other a long time. Did something happen?"

"Ah... The chief had to handle two different love-life consultations today."

"And both of them were about breakups, too."

Give me a break...

"It's not just today either. My subordinates regularly come to me for relationship advice."

And not just from the sales department, but from people in other departments too.

"Why does everyone bring that stuff to me?"

I keep telling them I've only ever had casual relationships and have no experience with proper dating. And yet, the consultations never stop. My colleagues and seniors with actual dating experience could give them much better advice, seriously.

"Isn't it because you always end up giving them sound advice, one way or another?"

"Ah, you do see people like that sometimes. People who are a total mess in their own love life but are experts when it comes to others'."

Shut up.

"You say sound advice, but..."

I'm not some magic mallet, you know. It's not like the answers come out easily if you just give me a shake. I just think as hard as I can and tell them what seems like the best fit.

"Honestly, it's a lot of pressure. Getting involved in other people's love lives."

I worry every time that I might make things worse. I mean, they started dating because fate brought them together, right? I think that's a wonderful thing. That's exactly why I wonder if it's right for some irresponsible third party to say anything...

"Human relationships can change so easily over the smallest things..."

"I don't think the people asking for advice are thinking about it that deeply."

"You can be so pure about the strangest things, Hideo-chan."

"In that case, what about your personal relationships outside of romance?"

"Well, with those, I've built up a decent amount of experience. I can speak with a certain degree of confidence, you could say."

It's not like I've had perfect communication and built great relationships with every single person I've met. Of course, I've had my failures. But I've had more successes, and the reality is that I'm enjoying my life right now, isn't it? I have a solid backbone, so I can be at ease when it comes to friendships and things like that.

"But romance..."

It's just no good. It was no good in the past, and it's no good now. The very fact that I chose to just go with the flow of Chika-san's feelings makes me a hopeless man. And I know it, but in the end, I can't think of any better plan, which is what makes it so hopeless.

"You're such a complicated man... But isn't that why everyone relies on you, Hideo-chan? Because you think about things so seriously."

"You think so?"

"I think so. It's surprisingly nice when someone worries about your problems as seriously as if they were their own, instead of just listening halfheartedly."

"I see... Well, I appreciate that, but..."

I understand the reason, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a problem...

"Oh, that reminds me, Chief. I heard you've had a relative's kid staying with you for a little while now."

"Hm? Oh, yeah."

It's not like I'm hiding the fact that Saku-chan is here, but I haven't been publicizing it either. I asked a few people with kids for advice, including the company president, so the news must have leaked from one of them.

"Could that be why you can't stay out late?"

"It wouldn't be nice if your uncle came home completely plastered in the middle of the night, would it?"

Depending on the time, he might get woken up. I can't have that... When I was in high school, staying up late was the norm for me, but Saku-chan is an honor student.

"Oh my, this is the first I'm hearing of it. How could you not tell me?"

"Sorry, sorry."

"How old is your relative's child?"

"He's a second-year in high school."

"Well now. Then maybe this isn't the time to be saying you're bad at giving relationship advice."

"Exactly. High school boys are in the throes of puberty. They're basically walking hormones."

...I can't deny that. That's how I was, and how the guys around me were too. Except for pretentious guys like Takahashi and Suzuki, anyway.

"Well, but Saku-chan... oh, that's my relative's kid. He's a straight-arrow, to an extreme."

To be blunt, I doubt he has any problems with relationships between boys and girls. He's so earnest he seems like the type who would still use phrases like "immoral association between the sexes" in this day and age.

"...Does that kid really have the same blood as you, Chief?"

"How rude... It's his parents' upbringing."

"Isn't that just dissing your own parents in return?"

"I'm not dissing them. My old man and my mom were abroad for work, so I lived alone during high school, you know."

The fact that I didn't stray from the path must be a testament to my upbringing before that. I only turned out to be a bit of an idiot, and that's it. Leaving their kid alone... well, I think they also trusted that I'd be all right.

"There's no single right answer when it comes to raising kids, so as long as both Saku-chan and I are living decent lives, that's all that matters."

Everyone is different, and everyone is good. I don't know who said it, but those are truly words of gold.

"More importantly. Speaking of my high school days reminded me of something."

After that, we drank happily for another two hours before I headed home. It was still a little past ten, so Saku-chan was still awake and greeted me at the door.

"What are you doing for dinner?"

"Hm, I'm good for now. I'll heat it up myself when I'm ready to eat."

"Roger that."

"By the way, Saku-chan."

"What is it?"

"Saku-chan... what's your take on... romance and, well... all that?"

I said what I said back then, but I got a little curious and decided to ask.

"I want to be there for you as much as I can, Uncle, but... to be honest, I'm not very good in that department."

"Ahaha! It's okay, it's okay. I'm not saying I'm not interested, but... well, it feels like there are other things I need to do first."

"Is that so? Well, I'm glad to hear that... or maybe that's not the right way to put it."

"Fufu, Hero Uncle, you get so serious about the strangest things."

I felt a little relieved.