kscans

Chapter 159 - I Won't Laugh

"So, it was super well-received. The comments are all saying they want to see Manager Sugar again."

"Hmm..."

"So let's play with us again next time, but with something different!"

"How about we review some adult toys, then?"

"I'll knock you out."

"Hey, you don't have to get so angry."

It was lunch break. After finishing my meal, I was on the rooftop chatting with Doumoto-kun. Now that we were in October, the temperature had dropped, making it much more pleasant to be outside.

"Ah, there you are. Manager, do you have a moment?"

"Huh?"

My subordinate jogged over and whispered something in my ear.

"Got it. I'll be right there."

"What's up?"

"Nah, someone just called for me."

After tidying up my appearance a bit, I headed to the designated conference room. I knocked, and after receiving permission to enter, I went inside. The ones who had summoned me, Higashi-san and Saijou-san, the two representative directors, greeted me.

"Sorry to bother you on your lunch break."

"Please, have a seat."

Urged on, I sat down.

I see. This is unusual, just the two of them.

This is because these two men were one of the reasons I became a manager in the first place. That's right. Higashi-san and Saijou-san are the heads of the two major factions within our company. Factional strife might have a bad reputation, but the rivalry between these two is a healthy one. They don't hate each other, nor are they trying to line their own pockets. They may clash over management policies, but that is simply because each believes his own ideas are better for the company.

Still, the fact remains that they are faction leaders. For the sake of appearances before their subordinates, they are rarely seen alone together. Usually when they summon me, they would have a third, uninvolved person present.

"So, what can I do for you?"

As I've mentioned before, I don't belong to any faction. If I had to pick one, I suppose you could say I'm in the president's faction, but then, so are these two. It would be a different story if they were harboring ambitions to usurp him, but they don't seem to have any. In any case, while I don't belong to any particular group, I get along well with all of them... you know? I sometimes act as a balancer and mediate between them, so is that what this is about?

"First, I should say... well, the reason we called you here is... you see, it's..."

"Y, yes... a personal matter."

Personal? The two of them gave a wry smile as I stared with wide eyes. Even for work, their positions required them to have someone else present when they interacted. I had assumed they had no private relationship at all.

"I can pretty much guess what you're thinking... and well, you're right."

"Higashi and I almost never interact on a personal level."

After clearing their throats, the two of them began.

"By the way, Satou-kun, is it true that you... were hanging out with the president during the Obon holiday?"

"Ah. We have no intention of reprimanding you. We wouldn't dream of questioning your abilities or your character at this point."

The president's favorite. There was a time when people whispered that behind my back. And these two had warned me about it directly. Being the rebellious type, I shot back with something like, "So you think the president would let his personal feelings influence personnel decisions, do you." At first, they looked at me with skepticism, but that gradually faded. And now, they have enough faith in me to recommend me for a managerial position. When they asked me, saying that if they couldn't put forward someone from their own factions, they needed someone else they could trust, I was actually a little happy.

"So, will you answer the question?"

"According to what we heard from the president... you were, what was it? Playing with toys?"

"We were."

What of it, I wondered.

"............Don't you think that's a bit much for grown adults?"

"My, what a narrow-minded thing to say."

Since they said it was a private matter, I relaxed my speech a little.

"As long as it doesn't bother anyone, people should be free to enjoy what they like, shouldn't they?"

"...I see. You are that kind of man, aren't you."

"Higashi."

"Yes. It seems he's the only one."

What? What is it? You two shouldn't be communicating with just your eyes like that, it's so suggestive! (A baseless accusation).

"...Satou-kun, do you know of Pure Love ★ Pandemonium?"

Sorry, I almost laughed. It's funny when you say a word like that with a dead serious expression, so please give me a heads-up next time. Forcing my facial muscles to behave, I made a peace sign next to my right eye and declared.

"'Even God can't stop us,' right?"

That's their catchphrase. If you knew the truth, it wouldn't be very funny... or maybe it would be even funnier.

"So you knew. As expected of our company's number one man of leisure."

"Indeed. Your antenna is always up."

No, it's not like I'm some kind of information guru. You'd know if you watched music programs... ah, but these two would never watch something like that.

"So what about this Love-Pan?"

An assassination request? No way. They don't know my true identity.

"Well, you see. Higashi and I are sort of fans of Love-Pan, or rather..."

"To be precise, we're interested in them, you could say..."

...The sight of two stiff old men fidgeting is actually pretty rough. If anyone from our company saw this, they'd definitely do a triple take. It's a scene that would make even the president lose his composure.

"I see."

"...Aren't you going to laugh? At a couple of old men."

"If I denied it after what I just said, I'd be quite the hypocrite, wouldn't I."

I only pull the double standard card on my enemies. "Did I say something like that? Ufufu," is my usual line.

"Well, it is amusing, though. Like, 'Huh, so you had the sensibility to enjoy something like that.'"

"...Mm, we are aware of that about ourselves."

"But I see. So you two were actually kindred spirits."

"We only realized it recently."

Apparently, it happened while they were using the restroom. Saijou-san, thinking no one was around, started humming a song from a commercial, and Higashi-san came out of one of the stalls. ...That's more than just awkward.

"And so, well... we realized we both thought they were good..."

"Y, yes... Ah, please don't misunderstand. We do not view those girls with any sort of lewd intentions."

"Higashi and I are both devoted to our wives."

"Not every guy who likes idols harbors lustful feelings for them, you know."

What a terrible prejudice.

"People support them for all kinds of reasons. Some feel like they're cheering on a daughter, others are simply drawn to their hard work."

"I, I see... you're right. Yes, I must admit there was a problem with our perception."

"We were right to confide in you, Satou-kun."

...They may be old men, but these old men were once young boys, weren't they?

"Weren't there any idols you liked back in your student days?"

"Both Saijou and I were far removed from such things. We were devoted to our studies and club activities."

"Honestly, even when talk of celebrities came up at school, I didn't get it."

"The only thing I could barely recognize were soccer players, perhaps."

"For me, it was baseball players."

Ah, that's right. You were in the soccer and baseball clubs, weren't you. Not that two old men's club activities matter.

"So in the end, why did you call me here?"

They like idols. Even if they came out to me, all I can say is, "Is that so." When I asked my question, the two of them hesitated for a moment before answering.

"As I said earlier, we are not yet at the level of being fans."

"We know nothing about them."

"No, more than that, we don't even really understand how to enjoy the culture of idols."

Um, so in other words...

"...You want me to teach you the ropes?"

""We're counting on you.""

Even if you're counting on me...