kscans

Chapter 186 - The Real Me

...

I stared intently at my reflection in the full-length mirror in the living room. On my head sat a wide-brimmed, black, pointed hat. Over my school uniform, I wore a black cloak that fell to my ankles.

"No, seriously, the difference between the men's and women's costumes is just too much."

Beshi! I smacked my own reflection as I made the retort. Yes, this was the costume I had borrowed from the Mutual Aid Society, just like Rika and Sarna. In stark contrast to the needlessly elaborate designs for the ladies, mine was this simple. There was nothing but the pointed hat and cloak. And even those two items had zero decoration. The quality of the equipment itself was good, so its performance was comparable, but I could clearly feel the difference in the amount of effort put into them.

"…Well, it's not like there's a problem with it as is, but."

I glanced down at my feet, and after a moment's hesitation, I took it out. It was a long, black lace one-piece dress with a large slit down the side. Paired with the pointed hat and robe, it would surely make for a very witch-like appearance. But I, Sakuya, am a boy. It's not that I have a hobby of cross-dressing. It's because, in my heart, dressing as a woman is what feels right.

You see, Ayase Sakuya is what you would call transgender.

We live in a diversified society. The concept is widely known to the public and more accepted than it once was. That said, it is also true that this is something quite difficult for the individual to bring up. I have never told my parents, my friends, or anyone at all. Keeping a secret is stressful, but... my circumstances were fortunate. When I said I wanted to learn how to do housework, no one looked at me strangely, and when I grew my hair out, they readily believed me when I said it was for a vow. I was able to find release through these small things, so my mind was never troubled, and the stress remained at a manageable level.

Furthermore, let's suppose I did reveal my truth. I had faith that my parents and relatives, though surprised, would face the matter with sincerity. The knowledge that things would be okay even if I reached my limit played a part in reducing my stress. You might wonder why I don't just tell them then, but that's one thing, and this is another. Even if I believe they will ultimately accept me, it's still a difficult issue to bring up.

"…Just for today, maybe… would it be so wrong?"

That was the Sakuya I was, but coming to Tokyo and living with Satou had brought about a change of heart. Learning about the Supernatural World, and knowing there was a way to completely change my sex, had caused my self-restraint to loosen just a little... just a tiny bit. "Worst case, I can just ask Hero Uncle to make me a woman." Satou would probably do it if asked. But I haven't realized that if I were to say only those words out of context, he would panic tremendously. Let's get back on topic. With my self-restraint already loosened, being lent such a terribly plain costume made me go out and buy clothes. It was a complete impulse buy. I only came to my senses after I had paid and left the store.

...

The time was just before five o'clock. Satou wasn't back yet. Before I knew it, I had taken off my clothes and slipped my arms through the sleeves of the one-piece. I hadn't just bought the dress. I also bought a pair of tights with an alluring design to add a touch of witchy flair.

"…This is quite something."

After I finished changing, I untied my hair and looked in the mirror again. I possess the kind of looks one would appropriately describe as an Akita Beauty. The women's clothing suited me. A touch of rouge would likely make me even more alluring.

"Yes, this looks good."

It was at that moment.

"Time for a raid, ya punks!!!!"

The sound of the front door being violently thrown open echoed along with a furious shout.

"Wha!?"

My mind went blank from the suddenness of it all, and then the living room door opened and Satou came in, a handgun held at the ready.

"We've got the goods on you! Don't make any sudden moves!!"

"H, Hero Uncle..."

It was one of his occasional joke-style "I'm home" greetings. But I was in no state to play along. What do I do, what do I do, I thought, panicking...

"Hmm? Hey, a witch costume. Not bad. But weren't the men's rentals from the Mutual Aid Society super half-assed? Just a hat and a robe, right? Which means you bought the dress and tights yourself. Looks like you're getting into the spirit of things, Saku-chan."

As Satou made finger guns with both hands and wiggled about, I could only stare back at him with a dumbfounded look on my face.

"? What's up."

"Uh, well... you know, I'm cross-dressing... so, your reaction is kind of..."

"It looks good on you. You're a beauty, Saku-chan."

"No, it's not that... A guy dressing like this is..."

I was sure he would be sincere if I confessed my truth. But I had always thought that if he didn't know anything...

"Whoa, whoa, Saku-chan, aren't your values a little old-fashioned? Guys cross-dressing for events are pretty common these days. I mean, even I did it back in high school."

Here, he said, holding out his smartphone. On the screen was a picture of Satou (in his sixteen year old form) wearing gyaru makeup and a midriff-baring sailor uniform.

"Don't you guys do it for the cheer dances at sports festivals or for the school festival?"

"A, at the high school I went to... we didn't..."

"Really? But you're cross-dressing now, so you must have wanted to get in on that kind of fun, right?"

"W, well, yeah, but... you know, it's one thing when it's a stranger, and another when it's someone you know..."

"It's no different."

His reaction, which seemed to say "What are you talking about?", made the tension slowly drain from my shoulders.

"Well, yeah. But I get how you feel, Saku-chan. You get swept up in the festive mood and just do it, but then you feel embarrassed when you calm down. But who cares? Cast your shame aside. It's okay to act like an idiot during a festival. We're only human, after all."

Satou laughed, adding, especially since you're a beauty, Saku-chan.

"Besides, you think I'm the kind of guy who'd be prejudiced against cross-dressing? My spiritual oasis is an okama bar, you know."

That wasn't something I needed to hear, but I decided to ignore it.

"And I'm a regular at a few places with genuine newhalf girls, too."

Newhalf girls. To Satou, they were probably just simple words. But his natural consideration made my cheeks soften into a smile. He properly recognizes them as girls, I thought.

"There are lots of cute girls, and they used to live as guys, right? Maybe that's why, but they're incredibly good at capturing a man's heart."

"Oh... by the way, Hero Uncle, why are you home so early?"

"Hm? Oh, the president let us clock out early today since it's Halloween."

"Uh, is that really okay?"

"It's not like he just did it on a whim out of the blue."

He said the president had checked the work progress of each department and did it because they had leeway.

"And you know, last month was pretty hectic. This is also a way for us to blow off some steam before things get crazy at the end of the year."

"I see... being a working adult sounds tough."

"It is. But there are fun things that only working adults get to enjoy. You'll understand when you're older, Saku-chan."

Saying that, Satou took off his hat and patted my head. I looked a little embarrassed, but happy nonetheless...

"And I've got my own preparations to make. So this is a big help."

"Preparations?"

...

Suu, Satou's body began to turn transparent.

"H, Hero Uncle?"

"Fufufu... fufufufu..."

Leaving behind an unsettling laugh, Satou vanished. He had probably returned to his room.

"...I, I have a bad feeling about this."

The warm feeling from just a moment ago had completely vanished.