kscans

Chapter 62 - Along a New Road

"...Phew, I should be safe now that we've come this far."

I was dragged by Suzuki into a deserted back alley. If it had been anyone but Suzuki, I might have expected something more romantic. What? You think being taken to a back alley by a woman sounds more like a setup for a scam? Well, that's possible too, but there's no ordinary person who could overpower me physically, so isn't it better to hope for the best?

"Really... you made me look like a fool back there."

"Huh? What's wrong with looking foolish now and then? Men and women both grow by embarrassing themselves occasionally."

I teased, sitting cross-legged on top of a garbage can with my chin resting on my hand.

"That was unnecessary embarrassment."

Suzuki let out an exaggerated sigh.

"...You really haven't changed at all."

Then, looking somewhat resigned yet pleased, Suzuki smiled. There was no trace of his former male appearance anymore. Still, I could clearly see the blue spring of youth in that face.

"It's been quite a while since then."

"...Yeah, it has."

"I tried not to think about it too much. I wondered what face I could possibly show you."

But, Suzuki continued with a distant look.

"I would remember you from time to time. I'd wonder how Satou-kun was doing."

"...What about Takahashi?"

"Well, he doesn't feel the same burden of guilt toward you that I do."

I see.

From Suzuki's—no, Takahashi's perspective, they were both just pursuing the paths they believed in. There was no sense of betrayal. I never felt betrayed either, but these guys... they must have felt that way. I think that was one of the reasons they quietly offered their lives after losing.

"I'm glad to see you're doing well. Truly, from the bottom of my heart."

"You too... but man, I was shocked. I never expected you'd be the cooking class instructor..."

I mean, why is this person working as a cooking instructor anyway? We didn't spend that much time together, but as far as I knew, cooking was never a hobby. If anything, Suzuki seemed indifferent about food—as long as it was edible, that was good enough. I was actually the pickier one about food. When the three of us went out to eat, I was usually the one with all the comments.

"Ah, yes... it is surprising, isn't it?"

Suzuki seemed self-aware, scratching a cheek in embarrassment.

"It was after I lost to you and returned to normal society."

"Uh-huh."

"I guess you could call it burnout syndrome? After losing the dream I'd staked my life on, I was just an empty shell."

...Yeah, that makes sense. Even if the gender change made it difficult to view the previous dream positively, there would still be a sense of loss.

"I couldn't find motivation for anything. I spent about two years just eating and sleeping."

"So you were a NEET..."

"Yeah. I got quite plump as a result. I realized this wasn't good, so before rejoining society, I started dieting."

You're really earnest when you're not in one of your moods.

"And you know what? Food became incredibly delicious."

There were signs that eating had become enjoyable during that period of overindulgence. But Suzuki said that once exercise was added to the routine, food tasted even better.

"After getting back to a healthy weight, I relaxed my restrictions and started enjoying various foods again... it was fun and delicious. I was working part-time jobs while indulging in gourmet experiences, but gradually just eating wasn't satisfying enough."

So you became interested in cooking?

"Yes. I attended culinary school and got my chef's license. I spent about six years working as a chef after that. Creating dishes is enjoyable, and it's wonderful to see people enjoying what you've made."

Sounds like you were living a fulfilling life. Learning that my friend who took a different path had been living such a fruitful existence made me smile involuntarily.

"But as you know, Satou-kun, I'm a greedy person by nature."

"That's true."

"I developed a desire to spread the joy of cooking to others."

"Ah, so that's why you became a cooking instructor."

"Yes. Strike while the iron is hot, as they say. I took leave from my job and opened a cooking class."

Suzuki laughed, saying that although it was difficult at first with few students, even that struggle was enjoyable.

"Gradually more people started coming, and by the time it became somewhat popular, I was completely immersed in it."

At this point, Suzuki's expression turned slightly more serious.

"And then one day, I realized something."

"...What was that?"

"That I had stopped thinking about the dream I once yearned for so desperately."

"You mean..."

"To be honest, even after I could no longer consider that dream as my own, I was still clinging to it in a way."

It wasn't about pursuing the dream again, but having once dedicated everything to it, Suzuki couldn't just let it go. ...It's probably similar to not being able to throw away mementos from an ex-partner.

"What I'm saying is this: something that seemed more brilliant than anything else to me back then faded so easily in the midst of peaceful daily life. It was only that level of passion. For someone with such lukewarm conviction to speak of changing the world was beyond presumptuous."

Suzuki was saying that if you wish for change that forces sacrifices on others, you need the appropriate resolve. If your passion is so weak that it's forgotten once you start enjoying life, you don't even have the right to speak of dreams.

But I don't see it that way.

(I don't think their passion back then was empty.)

Yanagi, Onisaki, Takahashi, Suzuki. People who wanted to change the world and challenged it, only to be stopped by me and become losers. Each of them gained their own realizations and rejected their former ideals.

"I think saying it was 'only that level of passion' isn't quite right."

"Satou-kun?"

"I'm not saying I approve of your ideology, but it's not right to write it off as a lie either."

You're misunderstanding something.

"The passion you found on your new path was just as wonderful as your dream of changing the world."

"..."

"Isn't that how you should look at it?"

You can't erase the past. If you're looking at the present and future, there's no need to deny your past. That part of you is also what makes you who you are today.

"...You're right. Maybe that's true."

"See?"

"Satou-kun, you know... very occasionally, extremely rarely, you say something genuinely profound."

"What kind of thing is that to say to someone known as the Factory Manager of Wise Sayings..."

I hop down from the garbage can and lightly dust off my clothes.

"Anyway, let's get going. I don't feel comfortable chatting in a place like this forever."

"Go where... a comfortable place... y-you don't mean!?"

Suzuki's face turned red, arms wrapping around in self-protection.

"Don't get the wrong idea, you closet pervert."

"B-but you're the one who suggested it!"

"I wouldn't do that kind of thing with a friend, obviously."

The time I considered groping Takahashi's breasts remains my little secret.

"I'm saying let's go for a drink. One night won't be enough to fill in all the gaps in our lives."

I have mountains of things I want to talk about. Don't you?

"...You're right. Yes, I have lots of things I want to tell you too, Satou-kun."

"Then it's settled."

"Yes."

Although different from my original plans... it looks like this will be an enjoyable evening.