kscans

Chapter 25 - Their Journey Together

Not long after that, the rainy season ended.

When a young man and woman travel alone, it’s not surprising if a mistake occurs. Sahei had hoped that would happen as Shintaro and his companions made their way to Kyo. They would not be using horses for this journey. If they did, it would either be the two of them riding together, or Shintaro leading a horse alongside, but Shion, who had originally enjoyed traveling on foot, refused. That meant a journey of two or three months. Surely that would be enough time for a man and a woman to deepen their feelings, he had hoped.

Unaware of such schemes, Shintaro set off with Shion, a sense of responsibility in his heart. However, he was tilting his head as he looked at the map Sahei had given him. He wasn't quite sure where this place everyone called "Kyo" was. Well, if I follow the map, I should get there… With this rather unreliable thought, he tucked the map into his robe and looked ahead. Shintaro was thinking, It’s painful to have to walk a path that will lead to our separation, but I can’t trouble Shion by being selfish. In matters of love, this seriousness of his was a hindrance, but that was just his nature. He was determined not to touch Shion except in situations where he had to lend a hand. Of course, this was out of consideration that she wouldn't want to be unnecessarily touched by a member of the opposite sex she wasn't interested in, and also to restrain any conceivable impulses.

In any case, his mind was filled with one thought: I was chosen as her travel companion because everyone trusts me, so I must not betray that trust.

In contrast, Shion was under a happy misunderstanding. Well, not a complete misunderstanding, but at least her thoughts were not as catastrophic as Shintaro’s. The reason he lent his hand so hesitantly, the reason he never closed the distance between them, was because he cared for her. Just as Nana had said, it was because he was conscious of her as a woman. And she was right, of course. It was because he was conscious of her that he kept his distance. But it was all a preventative measure for when they would part. It was unlikely he would escape unscathed, but he wanted to be careful enough to avoid a deep wound. As Shintaro matched his pace to Shion’s, he suddenly remembered Saneyuki calling him a coward. A self-deprecating smile appeared on his face, as he had no room to argue. But he couldn’t muster the courage to risk getting shot down. If he were to be truly crushed, he worried about what Shion, who was blind and had no one else to rely on during this long journey, would do. He didn't want things to be awkward when they parted, and no one had the right to ruin her memories of her journey and her time in the Western Capital. Above all, having experienced a first love that ended so painfully, it was only natural that Shintaro would want his second love to end while it was still faint and beautiful.

*

Whether it was lending a hand or sharing a room for the night, the distance between the two of them showed no signs of shrinking. It was, of course, painful for both Shintaro, who was intentionally creating the distance, and Shion, who had only pure feelings. But neither could take action. Shintaro believed Shion wasn’t interested, while Shion believed that if he had noticed her feelings, he should be the one to make the final push.

One day, as they were continuing their days of mutual frustration, Shintaro sat cross-legged in an inn during the daytime and spread out a map. He was retracing their path and confirming their next destination.

"We’re finally halfway there. Are you tired?" Shion, who was sitting formally on a cushion a little way off, remained silent. There were many things she wanted to say, but she hesitated, wondering if she would regret saying them. But her heart was so full that she felt it would be okay even if she did regret it. Even if she couldn’t see, or perhaps because she couldn’t, there were things Shion understood. Shintaro’s hesitation, his overflowing emotions, and where they were directed. The voice that had been so distant when they first met was now constantly close. What did that mean? What Shion had secretly felt for the past six months had turned into conviction after talking to Nana. Shintaro had turned to face her. Her persistence had paid off. That was why she had come this far, believing Nana’s words that "if you travel alone, as two people who care for each other, it’s impossible for things not to progress." However, after a month and a half, the atmosphere hadn't become anything like what she had imagined. As they got closer to Kyo, Shion grew more and more impatient, and she felt utterly helpless. She even began to doubt herself, wondering if she had been mistaken and Shintaro’s heart wasn’t directed anywhere at all.

"Shion-dono?" Shintaro called out to her again when she didn’t reply. Shion trembled at his voice and clenched her fists on her knees.

"Shintaro-sama, what do you think of me?"

"—Eh?"

"What do you think of me?" Her faint voice was strangely tinged with anger, and Shintaro was dumbfounded. Had he done something to offend her? He didn’t realize that doing nothing was precisely what was offending her. If he had been able to understand that, he wouldn’t be in this predicament.

"What do you mean… what do I think?" Shion took a deep breath.

"I love you, Shintaro-sama. I would be happy if you would greet my father when we arrive in Kyo. Would that be a nuisance to you?" A rather long silence hung in the air. Shintaro was speechless at the unexpected confession. Shion, who couldn’t see his expression, grew anxious. Was he troubled by a proposal from a girl he felt nothing for? Her face felt like it would burst into flames from the shame. But then, Shintaro’s hand touched her cheek for a fleeting moment, and Shion gasped.

"Am I really good enough for you?" At his hesitant voice, Shion’s heart pounded.

"O-of course."

"I don’t have a good upbringing, you know? And I don’t have any money."

"That’s not important," Shion said firmly. Shintaro let out a long sigh. The tension had broken. A journey with a woman he loved. If their feelings were mutual, it would be wonderful, but if not, it would be nothing short of hell. For him, who had actually walked that hell, Shion’s confession was a great salvation, and at the same time, it revealed a truth that brought a sense of relief. The truth was the reason why Shintaro was the only one accompanying Shion on her journey home. From what he had seen of Saneyuki and the others, it would have been natural for them to prioritize accompanying her on her journey, especially Nana. Shintaro gave a wry smile.

"Was this trip planned with that in mind from the start?"

"...You didn’t notice? Was I being too roundabout? But if that wasn’t the intention, a journey with just the two of us…" Shion trailed off, her face suddenly turning red.

"O-o-of course, it’s a journey with the intention of having you greet my father. Please don’t misunderstand. Ah, but I don’t think we’d be blamed for holding hands or anything." Seeing Shion rattling on, Shintaro almost burst out laughing. But he cleared his throat to hold it back, and though he knew she couldn’t see, he sat formally facing her and looked at her with a sincere gaze.

"I’ve been drawn to you for a long time. But I turned a blind eye to those feelings. Because I didn’t want to get hurt."

"Yes." Shion straightened her back, a sign that she was prepared to hear Shintaro’s confession. Sensing this, Shintaro also steeled himself.

"It’s obvious that our family backgrounds don’t match, and your father might not like me. I’m a coward who worries about such things."

"Yes."

"But traveling with you, I’ve gained the confidence that I can protect you. In that alone, I will not lose to anyone." Shion’s serious face instantly brightened. It was because a positive statement had finally come from Shintaro’s lips.

"I’m also aware that I’m not an ordinary person. I probably won’t be able to live a completely normal life. If you’re okay with that, then be mine."

"Yes…! I’m prepared."

"You’ll never look at another man?"

"I can’t look at anyone else, you know. Because I can’t see." She shrugged and smiled, and Shintaro pulled her into a tight embrace. She rested her cheek against his chest and gently placed her hands on him. Encountering the moment she had dreamed of so many times, she was filled with happiness.

"You won’t look at anyone else either, will you, Shintaro-sama?"

"Unfortunately, I’m not skilled enough to be able to do that."

*

A few days later, as they were taking a break at a rest stop, Shintaro suddenly said, "I really thought you didn’t like me in that way." Shion was a little surprised.

"I wouldn’t keep visiting the house of a man I didn’t have feelings for in that way."

"Yes. I thought about that too. But you were always with Kiku-dono and Nana-dono, and since I was acting as your bodyguard, I thought it was your way of saying thank you." Shion was inwardly exasperated. She found it strange that Shintaro, who was sought after not only as a swordsman but also as a man, had so little confidence. He had only been rejected by one woman in his past, and it wasn’t even his fault. But maybe he was hurt that much. Maybe he loved her that much. Shion thought to herself, and she wanted to be loved that much too. She wished to be loved even more than that. And so, she slowly leaned in closer to Shintaro.