kscans

Chapter 17 - The Train to Heaven

When she was told Akina had died, Tsukie became an empty shell, staring blankly into space. She shut herself in the house, spending her days gazing at the broken music box.

She was sure that the music box had died along with Akina.

Strangely, no tears came. Her feelings were too profound to be washed away by crying and wailing.

Even so, as the frostbitten tips of her fingers and toes began to heal, bringing with them an almost unbearable itch, she couldn't help but feel time flowing on without Akina. Tsukie was alive, and her fingers and toes would heal completely. The time when they had felt each other's warmth with numb hands would never return.

She would never be able to touch Akina's hand again. Never again...

When she thought to ask about Akina's funeral, her mother told her it had all happened while Tsukie was sick in bed with a fever. Her mother said she had offered incense in Tsukie's place.

"Do you want to go visit Akina-chan's house?"

Her mother asked hesitantly. Tsukie silently shook her head.

There was no point in going to a house where Akina no longer was.

Tsukie didn't even know how Akina had lived in that place. More than that, she wanted to remember what Akina was like on that day—how she had laughed, how she had talked, what she had seen, how she had cried. She wanted to hold on to it, so she wouldn't forget.

She wanted to confirm for herself the details of Akina's last day, a day only she knew.

When her mother took Hinako out to shop for dinner, Tsukie put on the red boots from that day and went outside. Tucked in her pocket was the now-silent music box.

Having been cooped up inside for over a week, she hadn't realized it, but the air outside already smelled of spring. The snow was gone from the roads, and the wind was gentle. It felt a little embarrassing to walk on the dry road in boots, but she walked on without paying it any mind.

Her destination was set. It was Sapporo Station.

She bought a single ticket where they had bought two, passed through the ticket gate alone where they had passed together, and boarded the train for Asahikawa alone where they had boarded together. It was a quiet journey, with no one to talk to.

That day had been so much fun, everything had seemed to shine so brightly, because Akina was with her. Because Akina was smiling.

She quietly put her hand in her pocket and clutched the music box.

Getting off at Nopporo Station, she headed for platform three to transfer to the swaying Yubari Railway.

But the platform looked different from before.

Several station employees were taking down signs and cleaning up. There was no one waiting for a train. Puzzled, she looked around until a station worker spoke to her.

"What's wrong, little miss?"

"I'm here to ride the train," Tsukie answered. The station worker looked troubled.

"Oh, that's a problem. Are you alone, little miss? You see, the trains here stopped running after March thirty-first."

"What?"

Today was April fifth. That couldn't be...

"Only freight trains are running now. That's why we're cleaning up like this."

Tsukie couldn't immediately grasp that the train that had been carrying passengers just a short while ago was no longer running.

"Why?"

"Why...? Hmm... It's just been decided. It's hard to explain in a way you'd understand, little miss."

The Yubari Railway had been established by the Hokkaido Colliery and Steamship Co. to transport coal from the Yubari Coalfield to Otaru. They also focused on passenger service, introducing Hokkaido's first diesel railcar in 1952 and its first hydraulic diesel railcar the following year to increase speed. However, starting around 1962, freight transport began to decline with the downturn of the coal industry. In addition, the development of bus routes, the spread of private cars, and a decreasing population led to a sharp drop in passenger transport. Passenger service was suspended at the end of March 1974, and the entire line was decommissioned at the end of March the following year, following the closure of the Hokutan-Heiwa Mine, the last operating mine along the line.

Tsukie stepped out into the town of Nopporo as dusk began to fall. Leaving the station, she walked along the tracks of the Yubari Railway Line that she and Akina had traveled that day.

Just outside the station, there was only a small fence, making it easy to get onto the tracks. She walked along the rails, balancing like she was on a beam.

"Katan-katan-katan... cha-cha-cha..."

She remembered how she and Akina had swayed from side to side, giving themselves over to the rhythm of the train car. The rhythm of the hand straps, swaying and returning, returning and swaying.

She felt as if Akina were still on that train. That train, which no longer ran, had gone to the same place as Akina.

The train had died, too. And she had killed it all.

That's why she could no longer ride that train, and why she could no longer see Akina.

Trudging along the tracks, she looked up at the smoke from a brick factory by the railway. When people die, they are cremated and become smoke. They rise as smoke to heaven. I wonder if Akina made it to heaven, she thought, looking up at the red evening sky.

Akina's going to heaven on a train, so she must have gotten there faster than anyone else, she thought. In the red sky above, she thought she could see Akina's face, peering out the window of the Yubari Railway train.

"Akina-chan..."

She realized tears were streaming down her cheeks. The tears that had been as dry as a desert, even after hearing that Akina had died.

"Akina-chan... Akina-chan... Akina-chan..."

Tsukie started running, as if chasing the train ascending to heaven. She ran with all her might along the tracks. No matter how fast she ran, no matter how loudly she called, the train didn't wait, and there was no way her hands could reach the train in the sky.

Still, she chased it with all her might. She hadn't even had a chance to say a proper goodbye. She hadn't been able to tell her the countless 'thank yous,' the even more numerous 'I'm sorrys,' or the overflowing 'I love yous'...

But Akina was gone. Had Akina started her journey with a sad heart? Had her father's rejection and the snow stripped her of all hope? Is that why she had left without saying anything to Tsukie?

The more she thought about how sad, how painful, how much Akina must have suffered, the more heartbroken she became, and it felt as if her own small heart would break into a million pieces.

After running until her heart felt like it would burst, Tsukie's foot caught on a railroad tie, and she tumbled onto the tracks. The hard, sharp gravel left numerous scrapes on her skin.

Tsukie sat slumped on the tracks and looked up at the sky. The sky that had been the color of sunset just moments before was now a dark gray, and the Yubari Railway train carrying Akina was nowhere to be seen.

Still looking at the sky, Tsukie began to bawl like a faucet with a broken handle. She cried and cried until it felt as if all the water in her body would flow out.

She didn't know how long she had been crying, but the dim sky had turned completely dark. Tsukie sat on the tracks, utterly exhausted in body and spirit. She didn't have the energy to stand up. Just then, she heard someone's voice in her ear.

"Hey, shorty."

Thinking it might be a trick of her ears, Tsukie slowly turned her head.

"Finally done crying? Shorty."

Shorty this, shorty that, she thought, a little annoyed at the rude kid. Apparently, she still had the energy to get angry even at a time like this.

"I don't know what's up, but a freight train is coming. You'll get run over if you stay there."

The one pulling her arm as he spoke was a boy who looked to be in the upper years of elementary school. When he said that, she focused on the tracks ahead and could feel the rumbling of a moving mass of iron coming from the distance, like the trembling of the earth. Pulled by the boy, Tsukie finally managed to stand up. She staggered to the side of the tracks and turned to look at the approaching freight train.

A black steam locomotive rushed past, spewing gray smoke and white steam. It was pulling a long, long line of cars loaded with coal.

"Whoa. But this freight train will be gone soon, too, huh."

The boy muttered, then looked down at Tsukie.

"Why were you crying in a place like that? Where are your parents?"

"My friend died. I came because I wanted to ride the last train we rode together, but the train was dead, too."

The boy let out a low groan.

"Hmm. Well then, you should hold a memorial service for her."

"A memorial?"

"It's when you pray at the grave of someone who's died."

"I don't know where her grave is."

"Then make one."

"Huh?"

"It can be anything. Pick a spot and pray. Think really hard about her. That's all you can do, right?"

Perhaps because crying until she felt she would melt had given her a sense of closure, the boy's simple words slipped into Tsukie's heart more easily than any words of comfort could have. Tsukie looked around restlessly.

They were already near the Hokkai Koki-mae station. At the end of the platform, Tsukie spotted a particularly tall semaphore signal. It was the type of signal that used a rectangular board called an arm, which moved up and down to indicate 'go' or 'stop' to the trains based on its angle and color. For some reason, its height seemed close to heaven.

"I'll do it there."

As soon as she said it, Tsukie ran over and started digging at the base of the signal with her hands. The boy followed and crouched down beside her.

"What are you doing?"

Tsukie showed him the music box.

"It's a music box. It was our precious treasure, but I broke it, so maybe that's why Akina-chan died. I was thinking, if I bury it here, maybe it'll reach heaven."

"Stupid. A friend doesn't die just because you broke a music box. But hey, if it makes you feel better, why not bury it here and pray?"

Comforting her in his own gruff way, the boy helped her dig the hole. Soon, they had dug a hole deep enough to bury the music box. Tsukie wrapped the music box in her handkerchief and gently placed it in the hole.

As she covered it with dirt, Tsukie murmured Akina's name over and over again. She pressed her mud-caked hands together and bowed her head in prayer.

This time, I pray that Akina-chan can live happily in heaven...

"Do you think Akina-chan isn't in pain anymore?"

She looked up at the boy beside her.

"She went to heaven, right? She's happy, for sure."

"For sure?"

"Yeah."

Seeing his confident expression, Tsukie felt a sense of relief and gave a small nod.

"...Yeah."

In the darkness, the tall white pole of the signal glowed faintly.