kscans

Chapter 168 - A Little Before the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons

Days passed, and it was now mid-August.

The chorus of cicadas echoed from all directions, and the afternoon sun beat down so intensely that the asphalt seemed to warp. The world was on summer vacation, but for us, high school had just resumed. We were busy with a backlog of assignments and classes.

Still, it wasn't a complete study-fest, which I suppose is because we're only first-years. I imagine it's hell for the third-years. Maybe the second-years, too.

And so, a little over a week has passed since we went to the Manticore's dungeon. In that time, what have we been up to? Well…

"Man, I was a real ninja today!"

"What is a ninja?"

We've been doing nothing but dungeoneering.

I have my doubts about whether this is a good use of a high schooler's time, but if you look at it differently, you could say we're 'really dedicated to our part-time jobs.' So it can't be that unhealthy. This must be what they call youth.

…Actually, no. Since our lives are on the line, it's probably on the unhealthier side of things.

Still, here I am, playing video games in my room, so it's all starting to feel like a part of my daily routine. Humans adapt surprisingly well. When the extraordinary continues, it becomes ordinary.

"By the way, we were in the Dungeon of Utuq again today. Are those ruins really that important?"

"Of course they are! I've told you before how closely religion and culture are intertwined, haven't I? If we can understand the local religion, we can make inferences about the environment and political structure—"

"Paisen, you're open!"

"D-Damn it!"

The dynamite launched from Erina-san's ox-cart scored a direct hit on Aira-san's, causing a spectacular explosion on screen.

The latest installment we're playing, 'Matsuo Race 9 EX,' is still set in Heian-kyo, but the moment you have betting races with ox-carts, historical accuracy goes out the window. So, even if dynamite is being used in the middle of the city, and even if said dynamite has legs and can run on its own, it's all okay because Abe no Seimei, the bookie, probably did something with his onmyojutsu. Don't think, feel.

What's that? It's clearly a Mario Kart rip-off and not okay? Sorry, I don't know any plumbers…

"I've heard that before, but how much have you actually deciphered? I mean, how much do you understand about the culture of the people who lived in that dungeon?"

"Is that really a question you should be asking while overtaking someone and shoving them onto the dirt track? Well, let's just say we're at a stage where we're starting to uncover some very important things, but I can't say much about it to outsiders."

Through my earring, Aira-san continued, her voice unusually serious.

"From our deciphering results, we've made an absolutely massive discovery. The achievement and its impact on the academic world are immeasurable. I personally don't care about fame, but I know there are people in this world who would risk their lives for it. Grandma is working on a paper with a bunch of other professors, so I can't talk about it, not even to you guys."

"I see."

I nodded, satisfied with her explanation, and used the item I had just picked up.

"Hey, could you not throw bombs while I'm talking?!"

"No way, Kyou-chan!"

"That's right, you tell him, Erina-kun!"

"If you're gonna throw something, it should be cow dung! That's your signature move, Kyou-chan!"

"Right! You're the one who rear-ended me in the first place!"

"Hey, before that, could you please stop treating me like a cow-dung-throwing machine? The basic item in this game is cow dung."

"Yeah. Thinking about it calmly, even for an ox-cart race, there's way too much cow dung in this series. Do the developers have some special memory involving cow dung…?"

"Apparently this item has been in the game since the first installment!"

It begins with cow dung, and it ends with cow dung. That is Matsuo Race… That is the enlightenment I've reached after four months of playing. Yeah, that's just nonsense.

"I understand why you can't talk, so I won't ask until it's officially announced."

"Please do. To be honest, I'm tempted to tell you guys. You're our exclusive field survey team and practically family. But this is a matter of principle."

"Right. I think that's for the best, too."

How many people have to know a secret before it stops being a secret?

In any case, I have no intention of doing anything that would be a disadvantage to my client. The only reason I can sell items from a 'B-Rank dungeon' at such high prices is thanks to the professor.

For someone like me without any real connections, drop items of this rank are just too valuable to bring to the market on my own. Most places would turn me away, saying they can't handle them, and the ones that could are tied up in all sorts of obligations. It's impossible to find a buyer while juggling my schoolwork. I don't want to get ripped off, but I don't want to be tied down to some other group either.

Take the clay dropped by Utullus, for example. It's an item that could be used in warfare in the future. In the rooms of important figures who might be cursed, or in secret bases they don't want discovered by divination… an era is coming when that clay will be indispensable in such places.

Or perhaps, without my knowledge, that era has already arrived. Monsters are a huge problem in this day and age, but the most numerous enemy of man is, as always, man.

It's that important of an item. I can't understand why a dungeon where you can get something like that would be opened to the public, but there must have been some political maneuvering involved.

"Let's change the subject. How are your preparations for the cultural festival coming along? I think it's supposed to be in September, right?"

"Of course, Paisen! We're all working as one to make it a success! We'll show you our one-night castle!"

"Well, 'as one' is a bit of a stretch. There are only four of us."

"When you think of ninjas, you think of shadow clones. It's not one times four, it's that plus another times one hundred!"

"Alright, then show me your clones."

"Heh heh heh… you've said it now, Kyou-chan! Go on, Paisen, show him!"

"Right, leave it to me. I'll go give Mia a silver wig."

"Huh. Senpai's chest and height are bigger than Paisen's. Kyou-chan would know in a second, right?"

"There's no way my little sister is bustier and taller than me!!"

Aira-san's soul-shattering scream.

She's clearly bigger than average, so I don't think she needs to worry about it. Not that I'd say that out loud; it'd be sexual harassment.

"Kuh, what a humiliation…! I won't forgive this, I won't forgive you…!"

"There, there, calm down."

"I won't forgive you, Kyou-chan-kun!!"

"I had a feeling you'd say that."

"For starters, I'll smite you all with the thunder of judgment from this Den-Den Daiko! Now, bear witness! This is the—"

"Ah."

"Huh?"

Aira-san's character was running diagonally behind mine. The Den-Den Daiko in her hand vanished with a poof.

In its place, a familiar drum appeared in the hands of Erina-san's character, who was running a little behind the lead pack. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. The item that lets you steal another player's item while making you invincible.

What's that? A Star? No, it's one of Abe no Seimei's shikigami. It's a shikigami, and that's final.

"...Ninjutsu: Art of Special Delivery!"

"My power of judgment, noooooo!"

"Tough luck."

Aira-san ended up in last place after that. It goes without saying that she was sulking. No, I should be questioning this. The woman is twenty-one years old.

Anyway, to cheer up the disappointing university student, we played her favorite fighting game for about thirty minutes.

"Fuhahahaha! Tremble! Cower! This is what it means to be truly strong!"

"Ugh, so annoying."

She's the only one left on the battlefield, and she's taunting us like crazy by repeatedly crouching.

It's nice that she's recovered, but this is a pain in its own way. This is why you don't have many friends, you know.

"Go home and suckle on your mommy's boobies!"

"Nee-san is going to suckle on boobies?!"

"Ah, sorry, Mia. That's not what we're talking about right now."

"I see. My apologies."

"Hey, wasn't there someone really scary just now?"

This is weird. When I first met her, she was an intelligent, cool, and slightly mysterious older sister type… How did she turn into such a 'classic Arisugawa'? At this point, are the professor and Eric-san the only normal ones in that family?

"Um…"

"Please don't ask. After a talk with Grandma, that child learned to apply the brakes. Let's not bring it up again, shall we?"

"Ah, right."

"Anyway, Kyou-chan-kun! Did you know? There used to be a marathon just for Awakened Persons, but now they're apparently holding an obstacle course version!"

I nodded, sweating a little at the blatant change of subject.

Mia-san, what a terrifying child…!

"I know, or rather, I got an email about it from the Dungeon Agency."

"Oh? Were you invited to participate?"

"No. On the contrary, they asked the 'B-Rank Candidates' to refrain from participating."

"Well, that figures."

From what I've heard online, the purpose of this obstacle course is likely to let Awakened Persons blow off steam and to serve as a cautionary tale for non-Awakened Persons. If a bunch of 'B-Rank Candidates' were to run wild in the middle of that, it would likely kill the mood.

It sounds arrogant to say, but at worst, it would be like adults taking over a children's playground. A truly awful sight.

And there's one other reason.

"There are hardly any candidates you can put in front of a TV camera… So I guess it's unavoidable that they'd just ask everyone to refrain from participating…"

"That figures!"

I recall the Stars and Stripes Boomerang Man and the Loincloth Samurai Geezer, the master and servant who take turns at S&M play, the hairy-assed bikini-armor old guy, and the Afro-Pompadour-Mohawk Alliance. And besides them, a whole lineup of eccentrics and oddballs. If they all started running through the city at once, it would be nothing short of a百鬼夜行—a night parade of a hundred demons.

It wouldn't just make living rooms across the nation freeze over; every viewer would suffer deep psychological scars.

"Speaking of the group of perverts that includes you, Kyou-chan-kun, the 'B-Rank Candidates'…"

"Stop. Don't include me."

"We'll be leading the charge! That's what you mean, right, Kyou-chan?!"

"No, it's not."

"My apologies. The perverts led by you, Kyou-chan-kun…"

"That's not what I said, okay?"

"I hear you're all gathering in Tokyo again. Is that true?"

"Yes. Unfortunately."

The system for 'B-Rank Adventurers' is still in its trial phase. It's necessary to check on its progress and decide whether to continue with it.

And so, that horde of monsters and demons had to gather in Tokyo once again.

...Couldn't this have been an email? I don't even want to go to Tokyo in the first place.

It's crowded, and the station is a maze. Separate from my fear of setting foot in a trade show for weirdos, the thought of the trip itself weighed me down. It's just so far away. Making reservations for the bullet train and hotels is a real hassle.

"Well, at least this time they gave us the schedule a bit more in advance, so we have time to prepare… But it's still a pain."

"You really don't like going out, do you, Kyou-chan-kun? Same here, though."

"It's not that I never go out. I'll go if there's a game or something I want, or to see a movie adaptation of an anime I was interested in."

"You're behind the times. Nowadays, you can get all of that with just an internet connection."

"I'm the type who prefers to see movies in a theater."

"Right?! Let's all go see a movie together sometime!"

"Just to be sure, what movie?"

"Meiji Ninja vs. Alien! ~The Seven Sharks~ 2!"

"There was a part one?"

"You guys have fun. I just remembered I have plans to laze around at home that day."

"I'm going to have a stomach ache that day, too."

"Whyyy?!"

After that silly conversation, I turned off the game and took off my earring. I put it away in a drawer and looked at the calendar on my phone.

The next 'B-Rank Adventurer Debriefing' is the week after next. I should probably just coordinate my hotel and bullet train reservations with Erina-san and the others again this time.

I had my dad check it over, so it should be… fine. Probably.

Come to think of it, the obstacle course is on the same day. My parents are apparently participating as volunteers on the organizing committee. The Walkers are keen on volunteer work, so they've been encouraging their guild members to participate in events like this. The two newcomers to their branch are going as well, not because it's mandatory, but to be sociable.

But there's been a lot of unsettling news lately. Crime has been increasing year by year, probably due to political and economic anxieties. And apparently, the anti-Awakened Person movement is heating up overseas. I just hope there's no weird spillover from that.

I hope it all ends without any trouble…

As I thought that and placed my phone on my bedside table, it occurred to me that the person I should be most worried about was myself.

Mainly my mental state.

"I have to go back to that place again…"

I covered my face as I recalled that nest of demons and monsters—the room where the 'B-Rank Candidates' gather.

I really, really hope that day ends without incident…!