kscans

Chapter 212 - The Right to Worry

The day after we fought the giant insects in the mountains and found the gate. Sunday.

After receiving some gracious words from the professor, I stood in the living room with my family, our eyes glued to the television. They were sitting on the sofa; I stood behind them.

I was too restless to sit down, a feeling akin to impatience crawling over my body. I felt like I could just start running for no reason at all.

Right now, a state-run channel was on, broadcasting promos for a new drama series and helpful tips for evacuation procedures.

But of course, that wasn't what we were waiting for. The screen switched, showing the press conference room at the Prime Minister's Office.

As a crowd of reporters waited, an announcer's serious voice came through.

'The Chief Cabinet Secretary's press conference is scheduled to begin shortly. What will be said regarding the 'dungeon closures'?'

Just as the male announcer off-screen said that, the Chief Cabinet Secretary entered the room.

After some perfunctory greetings that were neither here nor there, he adjusted his glasses and glanced around at the many cameras pointed at him.

'Now then, I would like to discuss the current dungeon closures and our future response.'

A faint creaking sound. I realized I had clenched my fists tightly.

'First, regarding the anomaly occurring in the dungeons. In two dungeons, monsters that do not normally appear there have invaded from the outside... from the other world's side.'

A stir went through the conference room.

Even from behind, I could tell my parents, watching from the sofa, were shaken.

'In both cases, the invading monsters are extremely large dragons, and it is believed they created a path by blasting through the outer wall with their breath attacks. A large number of Wyverns, thought to be under the dragons' control, have also entered. As a result, the difficulty of these two dungeons no longer corresponds to their rank.'

He must have anticipated the reporters' agitation. The Chief Cabinet Secretary, though sweating, continued to speak calmly.

'Fearing that a similar event could occur in other dungeons, we have prohibited entry to all dungeons for the general public, including adventurers. We are still investigating the situation and plan to monitor it for another week.'

After that announcement, he took a sip of water from a plastic bottle.

'If no abnormalities occur in other dungeons during that week... we will reopen access to all dungeons except for the two that were invaded from the outside.'

At his words, reporters started shouting, even though it wasn't time for questions yet.

'What do you mean?! How can you prove that the same thing won't happen in other dungeons?!'

'This is too dangerous! What do you think the lives of adventurers, of the people, are?!'

'What kind of monsters are these invading dragons?'

'Previous investigations have shown that the outer walls of dungeons cannot be penetrated even by a battleship's main cannon. Does this mean the dragon's breath is more powerful than a battleship's main cannon?!'

The moderator tried desperately to calm the room as questions were hurled one after another.

But the conference room did not fall silent.

'Information regarding the monsters is currently under investigation, and we cannot provide detailed answers at this time!'

'What about the U.S. military?! What is the government's stance on international cooperation?!'

'We are in continued discussions with the United States and various other countries! Please be patient!'

With voices that were practically shouts, the Q&A session began in a chaotic fashion.

'Now that the ranks can't be trusted, what measures should adventurers take when entering a dungeon?!'

'We will ask adventurers to sign a new consent form and to engage in monster culling with an even greater sense of crisis management—'

There were two things I was concerned about, two things I wanted to know from this conference.

One was the current status of those dragons. That was still under investigation. In other words, that white lizard was still alive and well, roaming free.

The other was the future of adventuring activities.

To summarize what the Chief Cabinet Secretary was saying, it boiled down to: 'It's still your own responsibility.' That was it.

Raising the minimum age for adventurers or abolishing the system altogether was under consideration. The only difference from before was one extra piece of paper.

And that piece of paper was basically a waiver, stating that you wouldn't sue the government even if another white dragon-like creature appeared in a dungeon.

"Kyouta."

My mother twisted around to look at me.

"You're quitting being an adventurer."

Her voice was devoid of emotion, but her face was more serious than I had ever seen it.

Was she angry at the press conference, or was she filled with anxiety? No, it was probably a jumble of many emotions.

But I couldn't quit being an adventurer right now.

I needed power. Even if the Self-Defense Force dealt with that dragon, I didn't know if I could survive in the future without a means to protect myself.

It had been almost half a year since I became an adventurer, and in that time, I'd faced life-threatening situations over and over again.

I wanted to believe it wouldn't happen again, but as long as I couldn't shake this feeling of unease, I couldn't afford to stop moving. I needed to be prepared.

Both my reason and my instincts had reached that conclusion.

"Let me think about it."

Fear clung to my throat.

The aurora I saw that day. The mountains of corpses I'd seen.

I could never forget.

*

'To be honest, I think if you went to a hospital, you'd be diagnosed with something.'

After my parents told me, 'We'll work harder,' and 'Don't go into the dungeons anymore,' I was in my room, having a Telepathy call with the usual crew.

"If you're trying to pick a fight, I'll take you on."

'I'm not joking, nor am I making fun of you. It's something like PTSD. You've seen people die time and time again, and you've had your own near-death experiences. There's no way a normal person could go through all that in a few months and be fine.'

"That's…"

'You've become numb, Yagawa Kyouta-kun. You see, you're painfully 'sane.' And because of that, to protect your own mind, and to keep swinging your sword even on the verge of death, you had to break yourself. Unconsciously, of course.'

I couldn't argue with Aira-san's words.

It wasn't like I had nightmares every night. The bloody river of corpses from the stampede only appeared in my dreams about once a week.

I still got hungry, and I still slept. I had a sex drive. I could laugh at anime and manga, and I could cry at movies.

I was still 'normal.' There were times when I had to risk my life, times when I consciously told myself to 'go crazy.' But usually, I was perfectly normal.

And yet, strangely, I couldn't deny her words.

'Shall I give you the words you want to hear? We need you. Having you with us, Kyo-chan-kun, is incredibly reassuring. My research progresses, and you're reliable in a pinch. In fact, you've saved our lives many times. So, I want you to keep fighting with us... something like that.'

Her tone was somewhat distant, yet her voice itself was surprisingly gentle.

'But that won't do. It's a cliché, but this is a problem you must answer for yourself. I won't say it's wrong to cling to someone's words. But as long as you can still make your own judgments... as long as you're able to hesitate, it's better to decide for yourself.'

Since we were talking through the earring, I couldn't see Aira-san's face.

But for some reason, I knew she was smiling gently.

'Worry yourself sick over it. The right to choose is what humans need most.'

After saying that, Aira-san let out a rather long sigh.

'Though I suppose it's not my place to talk so grandly when I'm usually sitting in a safe place. In the first place, this 'right to choose' I just mentioned feels like it's from a very limited set of options.'

"No, that's not…"

'Even so. Keep worrying. I don't want you to automate your thinking. Oh, and this goes for Mia, too. My dear sister. You should rack your brain as much as you like, too.'

'...Yes, sister,' Mia-san replied in a stiff voice, having been listening in silence until now.

She, too, was someone who had risked her life on a battlefield against her will. She was surely being presented with the same choice as I was.

To enter the dungeons again, to turn your back on them, or to stand frozen in place.

'As for Erina-kun…'

'My answer's already decided, senpai! The path of the ninja has no end!!'

'Yeah, I knew it.'

The self-proclaimed ninja was so true to form that I almost fell out of my chair.

But that was just like her. I felt the corners of my own mouth turn up.

'Now then. That's all I have to say. Oh, and one more thing, Kyo-chan-kun. It seems Grandma wants to talk to you.'

"The professor? She just chewed me out an hour ago…"

'Hold on. For some reason, Grandma is getting teary-eyed behind me… Huh? She's impressed by how much I've grown? That my usual disappointing behavior is nowhere to be seen? Has she finally lost it, Grandma? I am always everyone's reliable older sister, you know?'

Are you being serious right now, Aira-san…?

As I shuddered on the other end of the call, I heard the professor's voice.

'My apologies. I got a little emotional.'

"Ah, yes. It's alright. I understand."

'Ahem. Aira has already said what I was going to say. So, I'll talk about something completely different.'

"Yes, ma'am."

I straightened my posture and shifted my mindset.

'Kyouta-kun. It's about the book attached to your Arcane Gear, the one you showed me before.'

"The alchemy book?"

I used a partial deployment of my Arcane Gear to place the thick, leather-bound book on my desk.

Inside it were the fundamentals of alchemy. It was a textbook so easy to understand that even a novice like me could use some of the techniques.

'I plan to make a copy of it and go to a certain place to negotiate. The conditions will be that copying, photographing, transcribing, or any other form of duplication will be strictly forbidden. They will only be permitted to read it for a short time.'

"Huh… um, where are you going to negotiate? And why is this coming up in the first place…?"

'Due to confidentiality agreements and personal obligations, I can't speak in detail, so I'll be brief about who and what my objective is.'

Through the call, I could sense the university professor, a woman of unbelievable beauty for a grandmother, give a sly grin.

I felt that she, who was usually so calm and good-natured, was smiling like a hunter.

'The Dungeon Agency, the Self-Defense Force, and the Alchemy Enthusiasts Club. Now is the perfect time to put all three in my debt, and for the highest price.'

I couldn't believe the names of the organizations she had just mentioned.

'There is no doubt that your unique skill is under suspicion from various organizations. Therefore, we will strike first before they can make a move. If all goes well, we should be able to resolve a number of concerns. ...Though it's unlikely to immediately solve the problems that you and Mia are currently wrestling with.'

"...You said you couldn't explain in detail, but could you tell me everything you're able to talk about?"

My mind naturally switched to its work mode.

It was none other than the woman on the other end of this call who had taught me how to navigate these kinds of probing conversations.

As I consciously tried to remain calm, I felt Professor Arisugawa's smile deepen even further.

'Of course. Let's make this today's lecture. Ask me anything you want. As long as it's within the scope of what I can answer, I will tell you everything.'

"Understood. Then, right away…"

—And so, for about an hour, I had an intense discussion with the professor.

Even though I hadn't moved from my chair, I ended up collapsing onto my desk, drenched in sweat.

...I'll worry about whether or not to go back to the dungeons later. Right now, I can't.

To cool down my boiled brain, I stood up to head to the kitchen.

But still… well. How should I put it.

As soon as I stepped out into the hallway, I looked up at the ceiling and let out a small sigh.

Even while I'm sitting here, racking my brain, the world just doesn't stop turning, does it…?

It seems that even while I'm worrying, I have to think about how to maneuver so I don't get crushed by the ever-spinning gears.

Life is truly an uncooperative thing.