kscans

Chapter 262 - Side Story 1: An Ordinary Adventurer and an Unordinary One

Being alive is wonderful...

I got home from high school, walked into my room, and immediately dropped my bag on my desk, clasping my hands together in front of my chest.

Right now, it feels like the whole world is sparkling. And why?

Because I walked home from school while flirting with my girlfriends!

"Heh heh heh..."

Even I have to admit that was a creepy laugh, but it can't be helped. It's not just a flower in each hand anymore; this is a full-on flower triangle.

Still in a giddy mood, I changed my clothes, then picked up my phone to check the screen. Today isn't a dungeon day, so I still have plenty of time.

In a little while, Erina-san will come pick me up, and we'll head straight to the Arisugawa residence. There, my harem life with my five girlfriends will truly begin.

...Yeah. Thinking about it calmly, I'm a complete scumbag.

Once I snapped back to reality, a wave of guilt washed over me.

To begin with, frequently visiting my girlfriend's house for the express purpose of... that... isn't exactly something to be proud of.

Professor Arisugawa, the owner of the house, always tells me with a beaming smile, 'I'm often away from home, so it's reassuring to have my sons-in-law here. Please, make yourselves at home.'

...But I'm starting to get the feeling I can see right through the professor's schemes.

This whole harem situation is probably her doing. I don't know the specifics of what she did, but judging by how things have played out, I'm sure she was pulling some strings behind the scenes.

Her motive was most likely Aira-san and Mia-san. Both of them have rather difficult personalities and backgrounds, so she probably figured a more forceful approach like this would be for the best.

Well, it's a welcome situation for me, so I can't really complain.

No matter how much I'm playing into the professor's hands, I made this decision myself, and I don't doubt their feelings for me for a second.

But I digress. Rather than dwelling on those behind-the-scenes dealings, it's far more productive to focus on my dazzling, rose-colored life.

I need to hurry up and finish my homework so I can get ready for tonight's 'fun time.'

"...Heh."

Whoops. My mind is skipping right past studying and heading straight into rosy territory.

If I skip my homework, Erina-san will smile and mercilessly tell me, 'You'll have to wait till next time.' And then Mia-san will glare at me with tears of blood in her eyes.

It's been almost half a month since the 'Guivre Subjugation Operation,' and I already feel like I'm completely under their thumbs.

Well, it's not a bad feeling, so I guess it's fine! Now then, time to begrudgingly get to studying...

Just as I connected my phone to its charger, a riiing... sound came from my desk drawer.

A Telepathy call from Aira-san. I quickly took out the earring and put it on.

"Hello. This is Yagawa Kyouta, the world's happiest harem man, speaking."

'Well hello there, King Giddy-Head Kyouta-kun. It's your beloved Aira-chan.'

"What is it, my beloved Aira-san?"

'Tch, you've gotten used to just firing that back at me...!'

Well, yeah. She really is my beloved Aira-san, after all.

I think it's weird for her to call herself that, but I'm used to it by now.

'Ahem. And what kind of introduction was that? You're on the same level as Erina-kun.'

"I'm sorry. I'll reflect on my actions...!"

That's a seriously bad place to be as a human being. I really need to change my ways.

An image of my beloved Erina-san shouting, 'Yeah! Ninja, YEAAAH!' flashed through my mind. Hmm, a self-proclaimed ninja from a clan of unfortunate souls.

'As long as you understand. Besides, if you don't consider the specifics, harem adventurers aren't even that rare these days.'

"Huh? Is that right?"

I couldn't help but tilt my head at Aira-san's words.

That polygamy system had some pretty strict conditions. The man's annual income, the woman's annual income, their nationalities... Then there were background checks on character and financial exchanges—it was all thoroughly investigated.

It's a given that some people will try to exploit any law, so it only makes sense.

I was surprised to hear that so many adventurers had managed to clear all that and get together with multiple women.

However, her next words made it all click into place.

'Ah, no. I should clarify, I'm not talking about relationships between humans.'

"...Ohh. The alchemy thing."

'Exactly. It's faster to just show you. Check the Alchemy Enthusiasts Club website. There's a video of an adventurer with a homunculus harem on there.'

"They have stuff like that?"

'Mhm. Ah, sorry. I just got called away, so I have to hang up for a bit.'

"Oh, right. Understood."

The Telepathy ended, and I tilted my head again, still wearing the earring.

Hmm. What did Aira-san call me for? It's hard to believe she just wanted to hear my voice.

She probably got caught up in small talk and missed her chance to say what she really wanted to. That's so like her.

Well, she'll probably call back again, so I left the earring in and started on my homework.

*

...An hour or so later, my homework was done.

I stretched lightly and put my mechanical pencil back in its case. A glance at my phone, which I'd unplugged from the charger, told me I still had some time.

I might as well check out that video Aira-san mentioned.

With that in mind, I searched for the club's website.

I found the video I was looking for right away and tapped the play button.

'—Aaalright! So today, we're going to be interviewing one of the adventurers who purchased a golem from our club and get a look at a day in their liiife!!'

A figure dressed all in black held a handheld video camera up to their face and waved cheerfully.

Then, they pointed the camera forward and started walking down a paved road. There were a noticeable number of empty lots on either side, and in the distance, I could see mountains rich with autumn colors.

'This area is close to a certain dungeon, in a zone that was issued an evacuation advisory. Most of the residents have left, but some houses still remain.'

I'd heard about this. I think adventurers can rent houses within a two-kilometer evacuation zone around a gate for a ridiculously low price.

There are some obligations, like having to enter the nearby dungeon with a certain frequency, but the rent is so cheap that it's apparently quite popular.

Just then, the person filming offered the same explanation.

'And this is the home of the adventurer we'll be filming today. Wow, it's huge, isn't it?'

Just as the filmer said, it was a pretty big house, easily rivaling the Arisugawa estate.

When the doorbell was rung, a man in a t-shirt and jeans came out. He was of medium build, a normal-looking guy, but his face was pixelated.

'Hello there! We're from the Alchemy Enthusiasts Club. It's a pleasure to be here today, Sasaki-san (temp name)!'

'The pleasure's all mine. And what's with the temp name...? A-anyway, please, come on in.'

'Thank you! Don't mind if we do!'

The inside was also spotless, without a single speck of dust on the wooden floor.

'You keep this place so clean.'

'Yeah. My wives are always cleaning for me.'

He led them to the living room, where four girls... no.

Four golems in the shape of young girls were waiting in miniskirt maid outfits.

'What do you think of my wives! Aren't they all beautiful? Then again, you're the ones who made them, so I guess that's a silly question.'

'Not at all! As the one behind the camera, this is great material! By the way, could you introduce each of them?'

'Sure. All four of you, introduce yourselves.'

'Okay!'

The maid golem with pink hair and average-sized breasts on the far right beamed.

'I'm Harumi! It's nice to meet you all!'

Next, the flat-chested maid golem with red hair in pigtails crossed her arms and looked away sullenly.

'Honestly, why do I have to... I'm Natsuki. You don't have to be nice to me.'

The third one, a beautiful maid golem with chestnut hair in braids over her shoulders, huge breasts, and narrow, smiling eyes, gave a soft smile.

'My, my. I'm Akino. A pleasure to meet you.'

Finally, the expressionless, petite, flat-chested loli maid golem with white hair covering one eye flashed a double peace sign.

'Fuyuko. Nice to meet you.'

...I see. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter.

'They're all such beautiful maids! Are they really golems?'

The man let out what sounded like a wry laugh at the cameraman's intentionally dramatic question.

'Of course. Everyone, do the thing.'

At his command, the maid golems all grabbed their own heads with both hands.

Then, they popped them right off. There was no blood; their heads were connected to their necks by tubes made of iron and wood, like a spinal column.

'Whoa. ...Sorry. That's certainly impactful, but I can't tell if this is surreal or just plain horror.'

'Didn't you guys from the Club tell me to have them do this beforehand?!'

'Ahaha! Oh, and for those watching, they're normally locked so they can't be removed like this, so please rest assured!'

As if nothing had happened, the maid golems reattached their heads.

Seeing that at night would probably be terrifying.

'So, Sasaki-san, what's your daily life with them like?'

'Well, I admit I originally bought them for, uh, erotic purposes... but they turned out to be perfect at housework. Now I leave almost all of it to them. Cooking, laundry, cleaning...'

'I see, I see. And what about at night?'

'Well of course, the five of us get cozy and... hey, what are you making me say?!'

'Come on, come on! Let's be honest, that's the main purpose of our golems!'

'...You've got a point!'

The two of them laughed, explaining things about the maid golems interspersed with casual banter.

Apparently, their self-introductions just now weren't them 'speaking,' but rather playing pre-registered audio from small speakers installed in their throats.

They had recorded voices from voice actors hired by the Club and installed them as a voice synthesis program, which could be edited from a PC with a wired connection.

They made it sound simple, but that was some seriously advanced technology.

While a 'mock-homunculus' could replicate most human physical movements, giving a golem human-like vocal cords was difficult.

And even if you embedded a machine like this, it was thought that the homunculus wouldn't be able to activate it properly.

But the Club's technology had made it possible. In response to their master's voice, the 'mock-homunculus' could select which words to say and activate the mechanism in its throat.

Apparently, the purpose of this incredible technology was to spice up one's nightlife. Man, what a bunch of idiotic geniuses.

'Alright! Well then, shall we head to the dungeon?'

'Yeah. Honeys! I'm off!'

'Wha—Honeys?!'

'Heh, ahaha!'

Waving goodbye to the maid golems, Sasaki-san and the cameraman started to drive off in a car.

At a glance, Sasaki-san was dressed very lightly... or rather, he was in his everyday clothes. All he had on him was his phone and his driver's license. And maybe his car keys.

I was wondering about that, but the next cut made it clear. The reason was that he kept most of his equipment in a paid locker at the store he frequented.

I've never used one, but apparently you can store swords, bows, and other weapons that you're allowed to possess with an adventurer's license.

After a brief explanation of this, Sasaki-san emerged from the changing room wearing a full-face helmet, a thick gray poncho, and urban-camo military combat fatigues underneath.

He had a backpack on, a large crossbow slung over his shoulder, and a machete hanging from his waist.

It didn't look like Arcane Gear. But...

'Aside from the weapon, you're decked out in Club gear from head to toe! Wow, you look pretty sharp!'

'Thanks. My Arcane Gear is the magic-user type, so it's not very durable and it's hard to move in.'

So it was mana-infused clothing, after all.

Clothes like these from the Club were quite fragile compared to the Arcane Gear of a high-rank Awakened Person.

But for a low-rank Awakened Person, they served as perfectly adequate armor.

'Alright, let's head into the D-Rank Dungeon with the golems!'

The two of them started walking toward the gate room, accompanied by two tanuki-shaped golems that had been waiting by the changing room door.

They resembled the tanuki statues from Shigaraki ware, but were dressed like foot soldiers holding wooden shields.

They walked with movements that were anything but nimble, cleared reception, and headed for the gate.

After a brief fade to black, the screen showed a cave with moss growing in places.

'Okay. So, let's get this dungeon exploration underway.'

'Let's do this.'

Inside the cave, which was as bright as midday thanks to lighting installed by the Self-Defense Force.

Sasaki-san and the cameraman advanced, with the two tanuki golems leading the way.

They were chatting amicably, but this was a dungeon. Naturally, monsters appeared to eliminate the intruders.

Two massive bodies, large enough to fill the passage that was about the width of a single-lane road with a narrow sidewalk and about three meters high.

They had trees the size of plastic bottles growing from their heads, and their entire bodies were composed of tree roots and stone, forming large humanoid shapes.

They held stone axes and glared this way with faces made of roots and stone.

Wood Soldier.

Rank D. A monster on par with an Orc.

The soldiers brandished their stone axes and charged furiously toward Sasaki-san's group.

In response, the front-line golems thrust their spears. The thrusts were surprisingly sharp despite their slow walking speed, but against monsters of this rank, it was too slow.

One soldier deflected a spearhead with its arm, while the other used its forearm as a shield and forced its way closer.

Even with a short spear, it couldn't be wielded effectively at this range. The Wood Soldiers swung their stone axes down, intending to smash the tanuki golems to pieces.

But the blows were blocked by their jingasa—the conical, helmet-like hats on their heads.

True to their Shigaraki tanuki appearance, the golems had no necks. They seemed unfazed by the impact, continuing to block the stone axes swung from close range with their hats and wooden shields.

However, the soldiers' means of attack weren't limited to just stone axes. The small trees on their heads began to glow, and vines sprouted from their bodies, entangling the golems.

If I remember correctly, those vines have poison needles. It's not enough to kill an Awakened Person instantly, but it has the effect of making it difficult to use your strength.

Of course, it was useless against golems. Poison has no effect on inorganic matter.

While this struggle was happening in the vanguard, Sasaki-san was leisurely drawing his crossbow using a pulley system.

Then, he loaded a peculiar bolt.

It had an arrowhead that looked like a sharpened harpoon from a whaling cannon. If the shaft had been a little thicker, I might have mistaken it for a mace.

Sasaki-san took cover behind the golems and slowly aimed the crossbow at a soldier's face. The enemy naturally tried to turn its head to avoid being targeted, but there was a limit to how much it could move while locked in combat with the golem.

A few seconds later, the bolt was fired. It flew with a whoosh toward the soldier's face.

Given the close range, it hit almost instantly. It wasn't particularly fast, but its mass and sharpness allowed it to punch through by sheer force.

The arrowhead pierced through to the back of its head, and the soldier stopped moving. After confirming this, Sasaki-san began pulling the crossbow string again using the pulley that looked like a fishing reel.

He repeated the process, firing at the face of the remaining soldier. It seems he missed slightly; nearly half of its head was gouged out, but it was still moving.

But even so, if it tried to create distance, the golem would press its shield and hat against it, and the vines were getting in its way, making it difficult to move.

It was no surprise when the third shot completely destroyed the Wood Soldier's head.

Sasaki-san collected the bolts and dropped items, brushed off some salt, and showed the coins he'd picked up to the camera.

'This is a gold coin that drops in a D-Rank. It's beautiful, isn't it?'

'It really is! That was a clean victory, though.'

'Nah, it's all thanks to the golems and the weapon. I'm not really good at fighting myself.'

That was probably the truth, not humility. To be frank, that wasn't a fight; it was a routine.

But a win is a win. The value of it doesn't change.

They started moving deeper into the dungeon again, talking about their daily earnings.

'I used to belong to a clan and worked in F and E-Rank, but I couldn't get along with the people.'

'Ah, yeah, that happens. Sometimes it's hard for adventurers to get on the same page.'

'Exactly. So I decided to go solo, but it was tough. My earnings were low, and I got injured a lot. That's when I joined Walkers and gave up being solo.'

'The biggest clan—no, guild, I should say!'

'So, during the interview, I told them I was bad at communication, and they gave me this golem on loan as part of a solo plan.'

Sasaki-san lightly patted the back of the tanuki golem on his right.

'It completely changed my world. I started earning a steady income. Thanks to that, I'm now a D-Rank, even though I'm solo.'

'I see. And what about that crossbow?'

'Oh, this? I got lucky and was able to buy it online from a super popular magic weapon shop. I've been using it for about three months now, and it's been a huge help.'

'Heyyy. So it's not from the Club?'

'Hey, don't get mad at me.'

...That crossbow. It looks familiar.

The brand name is pixelated, but there's no mistaking that design. It's one of Shizuku-san's weapons.

Her gear really is popular, huh...

'Anyway, right now I'm able to hunt and earn money safely and steadily!'

'But while your front is safe with the golems, isn't it dangerous if you get pincered?'

'I haven't had that happen yet, but I do have precautions in place.'

As he said that, he unclipped an egg-shaped magic item that looked like a hand grenade from his belt. It looked like a white egg with a lever and pin attached.

'It's expensive, so I don't really want to use it, but I carry two of these.'

'Ooh! A secret weapon! Well, we've prepared an identical one for you here, so please give us a demonstration!'

'Got it.'

While they were talking, the next Wood Soldier came stomping towards them from down the passage.

Since it was conveniently just one, Sasaki-san gripped the lever and pulled the pin from the egg-shaped magic item.

Then, he threw it. It was a toss that seemed to warrant a thwump sound effect, and the soldier, unfazed, charged forward with its left arm raised as a shield.

The moment the magic item collided with its arm, the egg part shattered, and a pale blue gas burst out forcefully.

The Wood Soldier that was showered in it rapidly froze over, until its roots cracked and it fell over, its limbs scattering apart.

As the soldier lay immobilized, the golems finished it off with their spears.

'A simple magic item jointly produced by the Club and Walkers! Was that an ice magic spell?'

'Yes. The monsters here don't try to evade until you get close, so even with my arm, I can hit them. And they're not that fast, either.'

Sasaki-san and the cameraman conversed in a light tone.

...Wait, what was that?

A simple magic item. I'd heard rumors, but I never imagined it would be this effective. Even if it was a good matchup, it was surprising that a battle in this rank could be decided so easily.

They continued their exploration for about an hour before returning. Of course, most of it was cut, so the video was only about five minutes long.

'Thank you so much for your time today, Sasaki-san!'

'Not at all. The Club has always been a great help to me.'

'And with the filming done, you're heading home for the day, but...'

'—Of course, tonight I'll be cozying up with my wives again!'

'That's what I wanted to hear! We at the Club will always support your rosy golem life!'

After a loud laugh in front of the store, Sasaki-san drove off in his car. Apparently, the cameraman was taking the bus home.

'And with that, we'll wrap up this video! Thank you for watching! And please, be sure to subscribe to our channel!'

And so, the video ended.

I put down my phone and thought about the video's contents, especially the dungeon exploration.

As for the whole harem thing, well, I'll set that aside. If I hadn't met Erina-san and the others, my life might have been like this, so I don't really have any comment.

That exploration was extremely stable, and not inefficient either. His level will rise, so if he switches to fighting with his Arcane Gear and skills, he could aim for a promotion.

However, Sasaki-san never mentioned anything like that. He probably has no intention of going to a higher rank.

With those tactics, he wouldn't be able to survive above D-Rank. In fact, he'd probably have a hard time in a different dungeon of the same rank.

As he himself said, that was 'hunting.' Not a battle.

This is what a 'normal adventurer's work' looks like now. I see...

It's absolutely wonderful.

We're still going to the A-Rank dungeon frequently, but our levels have risen, and it's become half routine.

This is what I'm talking about. This is good.

Even though we're called adventurers, I'm sick of 'adventures.' Plunging into unknown territory and fighting life-or-death battles with monsters... I've had enough of that.

From now on, I'm going to live a harem slow life, just like Sasaki-san.

As I nodded to myself in agreement, I felt mana in the earring.

"Aira-san?"

'Hey, Kyouta-kun. Sorry about before. I got a little held up translating some Atlantis Empire script.'

"No, it's fine."

'Anyway, I forgot to tell you, but this is a message from Grandma... I mean, the professor.'

"Okay."

I had a feeling that might be it. I wonder what it's about.

Is it an assignment for the next dungeon we're going to, or is she finally going to put her foot down about this decadent lifestyle of mine? Surely it's not a demand for great-grandchildren.

'She said we're going to the other world next week, and she wants you to come with her. She's counting on you as her bodyguard.'

"Say what?"

—I really don't want to go exploring any unknown territories (adventures), you know?