kscans

Chapter 65 - The Tiger Who Defies Common Sense

Lunchtime at school. I used to hate this time, when students were free to do as they pleased. It made me feel like I was floating, like a loner. Like I was being made fun of from somewhere.

But now, it was a lot better.

"So, so! I heard from someone in my class yesterday that this school has Seven Wonders, too!"

"Just so you know, five of those seven wonders are related to you."

"!?"

"Erina-san, you use your skills too much in your daily life..."

In a corner of the cafeteria, I was having lunch with Erina-san and the others. This time was starting to become a little fun.

Busujima-san was the kind of person who’d say things like ‘†Do you fear me†...!’ and Ooyama-san, while blunt, wasn’t a bad person.

And Erina-san was, well, Erina-san, so even in a situation where I was surrounded by girls—which would normally make me brace for death—I could talk to them relatively normally.

"What exactly are those five wonders...?"

"Number one! Laughter heard from an empty classroom! They heard a voice, but when they opened the classroom door, no one was there...!"

"That was just Erina-san teleporting home."

"Number two! The moving skeleton model! Before the students’ very eyes, the skeleton took a step forward...! Could it be a grudge against those with flesh...!"

"You were just putting back a model that was about to fall over, and then you teleported, so it only looked like it moved on its own."

"Number three! The gym storage room that was cleaned up on its own! The students on duty were chatting with friends after class and were a little late to clean up... The moment they opened the door, the faint shadow they saw was—!"

"That was when Erina-san mixed up her duty day, cleaned the room, and then teleported home."

"Number four! The ghost of a student who committed suicide reflected in a window! A long time ago, there was a female student at this school who killed herself because of bullying...!"

"That was probably just you teleporting in mid-air again, Erina-san. Also, no such incident has ever occurred at our school."

"Number five! The demonic melody echoing from the music room! During lunch, an otherworldly, unpleasant tune was heard coming from the supposedly empty music room...! It must have been an evil organization plotting the revival of a dark god...!"

"Erina-san, you used the piano in the music room without permission during lunch, didn’t you? The timing matches, so it was probably that."

"It wasn’t an evil organization. Your playing is just terrible."

"That’s so mean!?"

Erina-san shrieked as if in shock.

No, wait a minute.

"Just how many messes have you made, Erina-san...?"

"Tweet-lee-dee-dee-dee."

"Are you terrible at whistling, too?"

"Don’t expect her to have any musical talent."

"Back in middle school, she was so bad the music teacher started crying..."

"That was a sad incident for me, too..."

For once, Erina-san averted her gaze. I remembered hearing her sing before; her pitch had been a complete disaster.

Her voice was actually beautiful, so why did it become so tragic when she sang?

"By the way, Erina-san, didn’t you have a limit on how many teleportation markers you could set?"

"I change the markers on floors other than the first one all the time!"

"What a waste of energy..."

"For someone who relies so much on teleportation, I wonder why she has a figure like that."

Busujima-san’s gaze lingered on Erina-san’s large chest and narrow waist.

In response, the self-proclaimed ninja puffed out her magnificent chest.

"It is because I burn calories through studying, training, and dungeoneering! Nin-nin!"

"Tch, so exercise is the most important thing after all...!"

"Steady effort bears fruit. Ahem!"

With a smug look, Erina-san puffed her chest out even further.

The large breasts, emphasized, jiggled slightly. I swallowed the words of thanks that had risen to my throat by taking a sip of tea from my water bottle.

"But now that I think about it, I might come from a family that doesn’t gain weight even without exercise. All my relatives are like that."

"Calm down, Aika. Easy now."

Busujima-san was staring at Erina-san with eyes that had seen the abyss.

Forget curses, that glare was way scarier.

"Anyway, what were the other two ghost stories?"

"One is the typical one about the eyes of a painting in the music room moving. The other is about strange noises coming from the rooftop."

"Aww! I was going to tell them that!"

"There, there."

Busujima-san chuckled at Erina-san, who was puffing her cheeks like a child. I was glad she was back to normal; for a second, her gaze looked like it could kill the entire world out of spite.

Then, she turned her gaze to me. Unlike before, her eyes were their usual beautiful shade.

"Yagawa-san, don’t you hear any school rumors from your classmates?"

" "

She just hit me with an instant-death spell out of nowhere...!

As expected of a curse user. Heart-stopping attacks must be her specialty. If my `Sage's Nucleus` hadn’t forcibly restarted my heart, it might have actually stopped.

"...Well. I don’t really have anyone to talk to, so..."

"Oh..."

"What, you a loner?"

"Cough."

"Shizuku-san, could you be a little more tactful...!"

"I can’t believe it... Even the chuuni-addled Busujima-san is pitying me...!"

"Shizuku-san. Please, finish him."

"Yagawa. Aika may have written a whole notebook of original poems in middle school, but she’s grown out of that now."

"Not me!?"

I managed to make a joke, but my eyes were still a little hot.

I’m not crying, okay? I was just stifling a yawn.

Man... this is rough...

"Kyouta-chan. You’re weird but interesting when you talk, so why are you alone in class?"

"Wait, did Erina-san just call me weird?"

"Yup!"

"I feel like I just received one of the top ten insults of the century."

"It’s not that big a deal! Smug!"

"So annoying."

I’m a man of common sense. Aside from the social anxiety.

At least I’m more normal than someone who calls herself a ninja, shouts eighty percent of the time, and comes up with bizarre names for things.

"Is it because you’re an Awakened Person... perhaps?"

"Nah, in his case, it’s just severe social anxiety."

"B-Both, I guess..."

I managed to reply, and it wasn’t a lie.

It was true that people kept their distance because I was an Awakened Person, and it was also true that I was isolated because I couldn’t take that step forward myself.

As I stared off into the distance, Erina-san grabbed my shoulders firmly.

"It’s okay, Kyouta-chan."

"Erina-san?"

"In my class, too, there were kids at first who said they ‘didn’t get Awakened People.’"

"Really...?"

"...Hm?"

Busujima-san and Ooyama-san stared intently at Erina-san.

"But now, we totally understand each other! So if you try the same method as me, Kyouta-chan, you’ll definitely get along with everyone in your class!!"

"Erina-san...!"

"It’s totally, absolutely guaranteed, boss! Try this method and you’ll be a winner with the ladies and a winner in life, no doubt about it!"

"The sketchiness level just skyrocketed."

Even the back pages of magazines probably don’t have ads that blatant these days.

But still, I was interested in how Erina-san’s class had come to accept her.

She was a good person, but she was definitely in the realm of eccentrics and oddballs. If there was a method that made them ‘understand each other,’ then maybe I could...!

That was my hope, but...

"I’m telling you for your own good, Yagawa-san. You absolutely should not follow her method."

"Even I was taken aback by that one."

"Huh?"

"What is it, Erina-san?"

Erina-san tilted her head, looked off into the distance, and stuck her tongue out playfully.

Damn it, she looks like a total idiot, but because she’s so pretty, she just looks cute!

"To give you the objective facts, I’ll tell the story."

"Aww. Shī-chan, you already got to tell the last of the Seven Wonders. Let me talk!"

"Here you go, Erina-san, a cookie."

"Yay!"

While Erina-san was being placated by Busujima-san, Ooyama-san began to speak.

"In our class, there’s this girl named Jougasaki Ichiko. She has twintails and a big chest, but a small mind and a small butt..."

Why did she include the information about her chest and butt? I mean, I’m a little happy about it, but still.

"That bitch apparently used to bully her Awakened classmates in middle school, too. A real piece of work."

"My, my. A young lady shouldn’t say things like ‘bitch,’ you know."

"Erina-san, have some chocolate."

"Yay!"

A non-Awakened Person bullying an Awakened Person, huh.

Right now, I couldn’t help but feel it wasn’t someone else’s problem. I didn’t know when I might end up in that situation myself.

"That girl tried to act superior to the Awakened in high school, too. While I was in the bathroom, she went to mess with Aika."

"That happened...?"

"I was rolling up my sleeves, ready to make that bitch’s butt swell up to twice its size for bad-mouthing Aika with her cronies, when..."

She paused for a moment and looked at Erina-san.

‘Oh, how scary. You never know what an Awakened Person can do, or what they will do!’

‘You wanna know what an Awakened Person can do? Leave it to me!!’

"And just like that, Erina suddenly appeared behind Jougasaki."

"With my ninja arts! I didn’t hear the conversation before that, but I definitely heard that ‘question’!"

"Erina-san, a chocolate cookie."

"That’s my favorite!"

Why is it that, even though this Jougasaki girl currently has no redeeming qualities besides a large chest... my instincts are starting to label her as a ‘poor, pitiful person’?

"This one grabbed the shoulder of the stunned Jougasaki, and then, she vanished."

"...By teleporting?"

"By teleporting. I heard this part from her later, but Erina moved to an empty classroom on the fourth floor. And then—she jumped out the window."

"What?"

"While holding Jougasaki."

"What?"

I instinctively looked back and forth between Erina-san and Ooyama-san, then turned my gaze to Busujima-san.

She gave a solemn nod. Seriously?

"That was the story about the ghost who jumped to her death being reflected in the window. Just before she hit the ground, she teleported back into the classroom and, as she sat the limp Jougasaki down in a nearby chair, she said:"

‘This is what an Awakened Person can do! Fun, right!?’

"And that’s that."

"Spatial ninja arts are great as an amusement park ride, too! The lord would surely be pleased!"

"Erina-san, here’s some tea."

"Thanks!"

I gently pressed my fingers to my temples.

I mean... seriously...? I knew she was a weird person, but I never imagined...

"There’s more to this story."

"There’s more...?"

"There is."

I’m already full. I’m seriously debating whether I need to reconsider my relationship with Erina-san.

"Terrified of Erina, Jougasaki went home early that day. The next day, she skipped school. So this one gets her address from a teacher and goes to visit her with a handout."

"She’s a friend I played with, after all!"

"Erina-san, have some gum."

"Eh, I don’t want gu—mghmghmgh."

"...I don’t know what was going through Jougasaki’s mind at that time, but I’ll just say that the next day, her face was a mask of pure despair."

"Oh..."

"By the way, this one misunderstood the reason Jougasaki was absent."

‘I was wearing spats, but you weren’t, Icchan! Sorry for being so thoughtless... But! We fell headfirst, so I’m sure no one saw up your skirt! I should be the only one who saw!’

"That was the bizarre follow-up she apparently offered."

"It’s not bizarre! I’m sure the only reason Icchan skipped was because she was embarrassed about someone seeing her panties."

Erina-san blew a bubble with her gum, denying it.

Even just hearing the story, I have to say Ooyama-san’s theory seems more plausible.

"After that, the story of what happened to Jougasaki and her testimony spread throughout the classroom. Everyone in class became terrified of Erina. They didn’t come to understand or get along with her. They just understood that pissing her off was a really bad idea."

"If Yagawa-san is a ‘bear contained by the cage of law and common sense,’ then Erina-san is a tiger. A tiger with no restraints, one that ‘doesn’t understand human common sense,’ is what everyone must have thought."

"It sounds like you guys are saying some pretty mean things about me. Console me, Kyouta-chan!"

"Sorry, can’t."

"No way."

Erina-san’s eyebrows drooped. It wasn’t unfortunate; it was to be expected.

I mean... if I had heard this story when we first met, I definitely would have made sure to stay away from her.

Now, I know that she did all of that with good intentions, and that she isn’t the type of person to senselessly hurt others.

That being said, I’m still completely floored. This girl is nuts. Also, if her teleportation had failed, Jougasaki-san wouldn't have escaped unscathed, would she...?

"How did you not get in trouble with the teachers? And what about Jougasaki-san’s parents?"

"The teachers and her parents don’t know. The kids in class are too afraid of retaliation to say anything, and both the teachers and Jougasaki’s parents genuinely believe Erina and that girl are friends. This one’s cheerful and talks so frankly, after all."

"Icchan and I are friends! Probably!"

"So you’re starting to have some doubts..."

Erina-san quietly averted her gaze. So she hadn't realized what she’d done until now?

"If Erina-san says they’re friends, most adults believe her, and Jougasaki-san can’t deny it either..."

"I’m supposed to dislike Jougasaki-san, but through pity and empathy, I feel like my opinion of her has actually improved."

"And what about your opinion of me?"

"I’m just thinking, ‘this is the kind of person she is,’ so it’s a net zero."

"In other words, you and I are best friends!"

"Fine, whatever."

Erina-san crossed her arms under her chest and puffed her cheeks, letting out a ‘harrumph.’ Well, I’m glad she’s happy.

More like comrades-in-arms than best friends, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Plus, I do feel a little bit of schadenfreude regarding Jougasaki-san.

"That being said, Erina-san. Try not to use teleportation so recklessly, okay? It’s dangerous."

"Aww. But even if there’s a person or object at the destination, I’m the one who gets shifted, you know? It’s not like we’ll get fused together or anything!"

"First of all, the law says you shouldn’t use it carelessly in public spaces. Also, think about the risk if your teleportation were to fail."

"Aww, fine. I get it."

She pouted, but she nodded, so I was relieved.

Still, using teleportation to ‘make someone understand,’ huh...

"So, Yagawa, you gonna ‘teach a lesson’ to your classmates the same way?"

"That phrasing... No, I won’t. Like I said earlier, skills aren’t meant to be used outside of dungeons, and I’m afraid of accidents."

"Exactly."

Busujima-san nodded deeply. To think the only person with common sense is the chuunibyou patient.

Well, that’s probably why I can talk to them without getting too nervous.

"What? It’d be fun to see you grab a classmate and run at full speed."

"Haha. That won’t happen unless this school gets caught in a dungeon outbreak."

Even if rumors say that dungeons are gradually increasing, I couldn’t imagine one appearing right here at this school.

And even if a gate did appear somewhere in the school building, it wouldn’t be left alone until it overflowed. The janitors and others patrol the grounds, after all.

With that, lunchtime ended, and I parted ways with them to return to my classroom.

...I still hated this moment.

"Tch..."

"Must be nice, being him..."

The glares and words directed at me as I entered the classroom.

They were probably whispering and not saying it directly to me, but my hearing was good—not as good as Erina-san’s, but still.

I slumped my shoulders slightly as I returned to my seat.

I breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of the bell signaling the end of lunchtime.

Still, a dungeon at school, huh... Or terrorists suddenly appearing in the classroom. It was the same kind of far-fetched fantasy.

It was true that I was leveling up in case of a ‘sudden outbreak,’ but I couldn’t imagine it happening at such a specific location.

I took my pencil case, textbook, and notebook out of my bag and looked toward the teacher who had just entered.

My energy would be better spent fighting the sleep-inducing device known as ‘post-lunch history class’ than entertaining such fantasies.

As the nearly-retired teacher read from the textbook, the battle against oncoming drowsiness began.