kscans

Chapter 428 - For Me

Heading north, a straight shot… well, not quite a straight shot, since I stopped to gather materials along the way. But after traveling about three thousand kilometers with my mind mostly on autopilot, I arrived.

Clad in the cloak I’d been holding onto, having been told to keep it since there were no plans to use it, I stepped into the [Eternal Ice Peaks of Extreme White]. It greeted me with the same extreme environment as my last visit.

This is way beyond just 'cooling my head,' isn't it? I thought. With a self-deprecating laugh at my own absurdity, I spent the next several tens of minutes swatting away the local pests while making my ascent.

"Hey. You've still got that classic raid-boss look going on."

Reaching the summit, I found myself before the giant, flying ray floating at the peak of the ice tree.

[Epel, Great Ice Spirit Guardian]—compared to the true 'endgame content' I had recently challenged, I had to admit it was a step down… but that was only a matter of perspective.

The comparison was simply unfair. From the viewpoint of a tiny player, it was still a being to be looked up to. Even now, if I were to challenge it with everything I had, my chances of winning would still be slim.

Besides, I still hadn't bothered to look up a strategy for it.

"————————…"

The frigid air was so intensely cold it felt like my virtual lungs were screaming in phantom pain. I took a deep breath of that piercing chill and exhaled. My mind sharpened… which only intensified the feeling of 'What the hell am I doing?' An odd laugh escaped the corner of my mouth.

Honestly, I don't have time for this.

I thought back, remembered everything, and now I knew what I had to do.

But unfortunately, it was the dead of night. An utterly unreasonable time to start taking action… so I had no choice.

To quell the fire of my emotions, I'd thrown myself into this stupid solo journey.

My choice of destination was completely random. If I needed to cool my head, why not go somewhere physically cold? I decided on a whim, without any real thought.

—And so,

"…Sorry to bother you, but I need you to bear with me for a little while."

What I was about to do wasn't a strategic battle or anything of the sort.

"Once I've… steeled my resolve, I'll go home quietly, I promise."

It was nothing more than a pointless game between a single fool who visited a place of death to sort out his thoughts,

"——————————————————"

and the Great Spirit who ruled over the sacred peaks.

—I felt a sense of unease, you say?

What a joke. There was no unease. I had known all along.

That's right. We've always known what was in each other's hearts. It's only been a few months… but they were months that felt like years in the real world.

No matter what I faced, no matter who stood beside me, there was never a single moment in this world of Arcadia that Haru forgot about Sora.

Even when they were apart, even when they were separated by worlds, Sora never once looked away from Haru.

I know it sounds creepy, even to me. But I can't help it if I just know. I can't help it if I'm so sure.

I can say it without a shred of embarrassment—that on that day, when we met by a 'coincidence' that the word itself could never truly capture,

we were, without a doubt, brought together by fate.

There's no other explanation. It has to be that way, or nothing makes sense. There's no other reason why I, someone who actively avoided 'romance,' could have grown so close to that girl… no other reason why I was drawn to her from the very day we met.

I adore Sora.

No matter how I look at it, I don't think it's romantic love, at least not yet. In that regard, Haru Kasuga, also known as Haru, remains a broken coward.

But that adorable partner of mine,

that earnest companion of mine,

that innocent soul, Sora Yotsuya, also known as Sora,

is, without a single doubt, the person I want to cherish most in this world.

That's why I couldn't ignore the unease I had only just now admitted to myself. That's why I relied on my borderline-cheating talent for 'memory' and recalled every single moment up to now.

Again, I was fully aware of how incredibly creepy this was—but setting aside my own pathetic awkwardness, it was all to see Sora's smile for what it truly was.

That day we met, when we walked side-by-side for the first time, wandering through the dim forest.

When she couldn't fight properly, when she panicked and sulked and screamed, and I dragged her along saying, 'Let's just have fun anyway.'

When we pushed on, battered and clumsy, and I struggled through training with her because she insisted, absolutely insisted, on wielding a sword.

And—when I watched over my partner as she tried to stand beside me, never giving up, desperately chasing after me.

I looked back at the vivid smiles etched into my memory,

and compared them to the 'smile' that the current Sora shows me,

and I was forced to realize I hadn't been seeing anything at all.

What a joke, thinking I 'understood her heart.' If you understand, then look. Just because you think she understands you too, you can't just jump to the convenient conclusion that she must be fine. That's just lazy thinking—stop pretending not to see. Nothing's okay.

Sora… how old is she? She's younger than me, for sure. And it's certain that she's carrying 'something' similar to what I am.

And that's not okay. She's the most important person in the world to me, and because she's carrying the same burden, I'm just supposed to think, 'Oh, we match, isn't that nice?' Have I lost my mind?

If we were just people connected through a virtual world, that might have been fine. If we were strangers who would never know each other's faces, that might have been fine.

But I said it myself. I set aside the relationship that should have been kept at a polite distance as befitting strangers—and I called her my fiancée, fake or not.

The moment I said something like that so casually, I had already stopped treating Sora as a 'faceless stranger' in the slightest. It's a complete contradiction.

In the end, I was just taking advantage of her kindness.

Even as my own circumstances changed, she acted as if nothing was different. I was leaning on a younger girl, making excuses about the line we had drawn between us.

It's beyond pathetic. What am I doing, spouting nonsense about facing Nia's and Ashe's feelings? They're incredibly important to me too, but still.

How long are you going to keep putting off what needs to be done first?

By turning my attention to the two who called me special, I thought my perspective had shifted, at least a little. I thought I had finally crossed the starting line towards change.

I was wrong. I haven't taken a single step. My gaze flew ahead, but when I looked back, there was just an idiot standing there, dumbfounded.

And next to that idiot—unchanged since the day we met.

Was the small figure of my partner, her eyes fixed on me.

So, yes.

If I've decided to face things head-on, then what I have to do has been decided from the very beginning.

◇You have defeated [Epel, Great Ice Spirit Guardian]◇

◇You have acquired a Title◇
・'Great Spirit's Blessing'
・'Trespasser'
・'Mind of Serenity'

◇You have acquired a Skill◇
・[Reject Sentence]

◇A Skill has evolved◇
・[Gandharva] + [Construction] ⇒ [Naraka Gandharva]

◇A Skill has been lost◇
・[Telepathy]

"——————————————————… Um, huh…?"

Staring blankly at the blue phosphorescence filling the area, my mouth moved awkwardly, stiff from having let a storm of words rage only in my mind.

I honestly have no idea how much time has passed. I barely remember the battle at all.

If someone had recorded what happened, I'd be the first one in line to watch it… but for now, there's only one thing I want to say.

"…………………………How am I supposed to get back?"

I was planning on just dying for a quick return. Killing myself comes with a harsh penalty… now what am I supposed to do?

And yet, while I was certainly in a bind,

"…Haha, really, what was I doing?"

Come what may, my preparations and resolve were complete.

As a wry smile escaped my lips—I felt that my heart was, against all odds, surprisingly clear.

---

A 'Skill' in this world is a power to make the impossible possible.
Therefore, for those who overcome the impossible, unneeded blessings are lost.