kscans

Chapter 578 - It's Okay

"Coming home late again."

"Don't say it like I was out all night."

After having dinner and playing with Sora… I naturally get back to the dorm well after ten o'clock at night. Since I've already told my housemates what's going on, they know where I am on weekend nights, but—

"Honestly… I told you to just go to bed."

"That's a maiden's pride, you know."

"Thanks for the smug look, despite being dead tired."

This has also become a strange little routine. Nia-chan waiting for me in the entrance hall around the time I get back. I can't help but give a wry smile at her 'welcome.'

"I'm doing this because I want to, so you don't have to worry about it."

"You say not to worry, but knowing you're waiting for me puts this weird pressure on me…"

With a slow motion that seemed to groan "heave-ho," she rises from the sofa and sticks to my side as if it's her birthright. We walk down the hall together.

It's not like she's going to barge into my room or drag me into hers.

Nia just looks at me when I get back, smiles happily, and says "welcome back" with a hint of teasing… —and after cherishing the short, seconds-long walk to our rooms.

"Well, good night."

"Yeah, you too. Good night."

She leaves with a sleepy, soft smile.

This welcome-home ritual has been going on since last month.

"……………Haaah."

After watching the door to the next room click shut, I let out a sigh of my own in the hallway and retreat into my room—and in the next instant.

I thumped the side of my head against the entryway wall, not because I'd suddenly lost my mind for no reason, but because I had, in fact, correctly lost my mind for a very clear reason: my brain had been thoroughly addled by the devotion of a certain 'maiden.'

It's agonizing because, at this point, I understand everything.

I know she's lonely deep down. I know she relies on me, not just in a romantic sense but as a neighbor, too. I know that's why she probably feels a little anxious, wondering 'Is he coming home today?' And I know she teases me and makes jokes to avoid putting pressure on me… and in the end, she probably feels down on herself, thinking, "I'm being too much," or something like that.

—And faced with all that, well… there's only one thing I can think…

"She's so damn cute…"

To be honest… truly, if I were to bare my soul,

Lately, I sometimes find myself on the verge of reaching out to her.

Her devotion is just so… she's so clumsy in her own skillful way that I want to respond to those feelings. I want to pat her head… and frankly, I even want to just pull her into a hug.

She just gets cuter the more time I spend with her.

It's truly, hopelessly frustrating.

I'm fully aware that I'm steadily being won over. The only problem is—

"I'm sinking…"

—that she isn't the only one I'm starting to honestly acknowledge these feelings for.

With a groan worthy of a zombie, I shuffle over and throw myself onto the bed. My body sinks into the comfortable mattress, but my heart feels like it's sinking into a bottomless swamp that's infinitely deeper.

Just as I find myself wanting to spoil Sora endlessly,

Just as I find myself wanting to reach out to Nia unexpectedly,

Just as I find myself wanting to be swept away by Ashe,

This complicated man, who was once afraid of being in love with even one person, now finds his feelings for all of them accelerating, pushed along by these incredible women who are giving it their all.

Seriously… from the bottom of my heart, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do from here.

I hear the world is having a grand time with words like 'so popular' and 'harem,' but all I can do is let out a massive, wry laugh at them for not knowing the first thing about my situation.

Hey, I'm the one who has to make a choice from here, I think.

And on top of that, there are a million other things I have to think about and do, and my list of critical tasks never seems to get any shorter—… but.

"—Whoa, close one…"

I snatch my consciousness back just as it was about to drift away. My phone had tumbled out of my pocket. I set an alarm and toss it onto the pillow.

I'll skip changing. A shower and all that can wait for the morning… I pull the covers back over me, and my reunion with the sleep demon I met just seconds ago proceeds without a hitch.

—Compared to two or three months ago, I've started sleeping much more peacefully. The number of things I need to think about hasn't decreased one bit, yet the strain on my mind certainly has.

It's because my partner, Sora, promised she'd 'be there watching beside me.'

It's because Ashe thoughtfully tells me, 'You don't have to rush to give an answer.'

It's because Nia jokingly says things like, 'Actually, I'd be in trouble if you gave me an answer that quickly, so please take your time. No, I'm not kidding.'

…The grace period they've granted me is part of the reason, yes.

But more than anything, it's because so many of my friends and acquaintances, including them, show me more care and affirmation than I deserve… so maybe even a coward like me has been able to gain a little confidence.

Just as they've told me time and time again.

"…………—"

That I'll surely be 'okay' just by being me.