kscans

Chapter 707 - Personality: [Haru]

—And now, ladies and gentlemen of the audience, thank you for your patience! We've kept you waiting long enough!

Ah, hello. Uhm—

We went and called him up—the [Acrobat]!

Hey, wait, I thought I was supposed to come out as my regular self, but I was forcibly changed into this—

Aaaand on that note, we did have a debate with the staff about whether this was the right move for the first segment! But we decided that the audience's expectations take priority, so for his very first time as a personality, we've had "Haru-chan" forcibly join us!

Damn it, you pulled some kind of trick, didn't you…!

Now, now, now, now, now, even if you make a face like that, you're just being cute! We only have a tiny bit of time that we managed to squeeze in for you, so swallow your complaints!

First of all, why was I even called—

Then let's get this show on the road at full speed! It's the surprise daytime NonoHaru Radio!

Just listen to me!

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—……

And with that, now that we've successfully loosened up Haru-san's nerves just as planned—

It feels less like you loosened them and more like you blew them up with dynamite…

More importantly, we're out of time! We've only got a little over eight minutes left, so stop your grumbling and let's get right to it! Hey, box, c'mon!

Fine, whatever… Huh, what's that?

It's a collection of fan mail for Haru-san from everyone in the audience! You see, you know, there were just so, so, so, so, so, so many addressed to the [Acrobat] this time!

Huh.

If we did this the normal way, there's just no way supply could keep up with demand. So, for you, Haru-san, we'll be slotting in little solo segments like this whenever we have a spare moment.

What? …No, seriously, what? You've got to be kidding me.

Alright then, let's do it! First fan mail response! Draw!

Hey, have a conversation with me.

Let's see, what's this? "Haru-cha—pfft… ahem, excuse me. 'Even though you're so cute, Haru-chan, why do you refer to yourself with ore?'"

What kind of question is that for the first one…? Do you really need that info—

Yes, yes, yes, no chitchat, please! We've gotta rush, rush, rush! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, we need an answeeeer!

…

Answer!

Because I'm a guy. Next.

Alright, let's keep it moving! Here's the next one! "What's your favorite food?"

Chocolate.

Aw, how cute.

Next.

"Who is the senior player you respect the most, or who you're most indebted to?"

If you mean the latter, it'd be Kagura-san, the [Fire-Player] from Vestol.

Whoa, an instant answer.

If he hadn't taken an interest in me, I definitely wouldn't be here right now.

Ahh, I love stories like that! I'm sure the internet is flooded with articles about the first meeting between the [Acrobat] and the [Fire-Player], so if you're curious, go look it up!

Next.

Yes, yes. Let's see… —Oh ho ho…!

What is it? That's creepy, stop.

"And now for a sudden word to your partner, please."

Huh?

"And now for a sudden word to your partner, please."

No, what is that? What's with that? It's not even a quest—

And now! For a sudden! Word to your cute, cute little partner!

Ugh, you're so loud! Fine, I just have to say something, right?! Fine!

Okay then, go ahead!

… Th-thank you… for… everything…?

What's with that tone? You sound like a clumsy husband trying to express his daily gratitude to his wife.

Next.

Hey, hey, hey, are you okay? Your face is getting red—

Bring it on, next! Let's see what you've got, you so-called fan mail!

Ahaha! Ah, what fun. Okay, then, next up is… hmm. "I'm a huge fan of cute girls who are energetic, strong-willed, and laugh during battle (while being a little clumsy). Where can I go to meet a girl like you, Haru-chan?"

A virtual world. Also, I'm a guy. Next.

"A word for Iris-sama, please."

Another one-liner? The opening surprise was super cool. There. Next.

"You're cute too, Haru-chan, but Nono—hngh… ahem. Let me start over… 'As a once-in-a-lifetime request—'

Hey, don't start over. Don't so blatantly skip that. Read the previous one all the way through.

Ehh… well…—ah, hey, no, no, give it baaack…!

Ahem… 'Nonomi-chan is cute too, isn't she? What do you think of Nonomi-chan, who keeps proudly declaring that you're friends?'

You don't have to answer, you know. This corner doesn't have a strict rule about answering every Q&A, so let's just smoothly move on to the next one, the next—

Cute…? Hmm…

But you can't just say 'hmm' to that! Nonomi-chan is cute, isn't she?! She's a former idol, even if she's like this now!

Well… I'm not a big fan of sour things. It's not that I hate them, but I rarely eat citrus fruits like mikan or oranges on my own.

What are you, what, what are you talking about?

But, you know. When I happen to taste them in sweets or something, there's a moment where I'm impressed, or rather, I see them in a new light, thinking, 'This stuff's not bad,' for that one-of-a-kind refreshing flavor.

What are you really talking about?!

It's like that. Next.

It's over?! Hey, wait a minute, what was that! I have no clue if that was positive or negative at a—

Next.

"This is a once-in-a-lifetime request, please be my bride!"

I told you I'm a guy!

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Apparently, that's pretty much how the ten or so minutes went.