kscans

Chapter 751 - The Reason

To be honest, I came here without deciding whether or not I would say it right now.

And yet, in the end, I said it without any hesitation or second thoughts—that was all there was to it. It probably meant that the feelings I held were, to a degree I found irritatingly large, quite significant.

Fine, I get it. I've accepted it, I understand… and I threw in the towel and admitted it was inevitable a long, long time ago. But, however, that was—

"…………………………………………………………"

—something I had kept hidden from everyone, so I was the only one who had fully accepted and understood it. It was only natural that the person on the receiving end would be frozen in time.

Ten, twenty seconds of silence passed.

I have no experience with matters of love, so this was my first 'confession.'

While I had delivered words to the object of my first love today, they were merely a memory of the past… This was, in the truest sense, the first time in my life I had confessed my 'current feelings.'

But surprisingly, my heart rate didn't change much. Was it because my personality is ill-suited for romance, or was it because she was the one I was confessing to?

I don't know. I don't know, but… it was a confession so ridiculously lacking in romance, a selfish, childish confession that seemed to say, 'to hell with creating an atmosphere,' I almost had to admire it myself.

"…, …Tch, …………Hey."

Beside me, the girl's crimson eyes wavered as she looked at Irori, who was letting out a self-deprecating sigh. She was rebooting.

And then,

"F-for now…────uhm, could you, say that again?"

She made an unreasonable request in a voice so faint and frail I had never heard it from her before. That was more than enough for my own heart to calm completely and for my usual half-lidded expression to return.

"I see, you didn't hear me. In that case, that's fine—"

"W-Wha—?! You've got to be kid—! Hey, no, wait, wait, wait!!!"

It was no joke; that was also my true feeling. As I tried to continue the conversation as if that were that, a flustered voice rose up and a small hand grabbed Irori's sleeve.

As if to say, 'Don't you dare mess with me, I'm not letting you go.' Not that she needed to worry; I had no intention of ending things ambiguously.

"I don't get it! I heard you! I heard you, but…! I have absolutely no confidence that I didn't mishear you!!"

"…Calm down. You're right, I apologize. I should have chosen my words and timing more carefully."

"Rea-lly, I mean…!!"

I delivered the words she'd unnecessarily requested, not running away.

In response… this time she glared at me, as if to say, 'How can you be so calm, you bastard,' letting out an indignant breath.

She didn't let go of my sleeve.

And so, a little more silence.

"……………………, …I can't… believe it."

A small voice, with none of its usual energy, trickled out.

"I feel the same way, it's like a lie—though it's not a lie, or a joke."

It wasn't a mutter to herself, but a heart's voice seeking words. As I layered my own heart in response,

"…Hey, say it again."

"…"

"Please."

She averted her eyes and listened intently. I told her.

"I'm in love with you… About twenty percent as a woman, and thirty percent as a person."

"…What's that about? Where did the other half go?"

"How should I know? You can't see your own heart in detail."

"What is that…"

It was truly, too late for anything else. We couldn't skillfully change the attitudes we'd shown each other up to this point. The blunt choice of words, everything.

But that's precisely why.

"I'll make you understand. The reason I came to only look at you."

"Ngh…,…I'm already skeptical about that part. That you were looking."

I had to be blunt and merciless, and throw everything I had at her.

"First, I'll confess something that I'm prepared to be punched for."

"…………Fine, let's hear it."

My left hand was hot.

I looked down and saw that she was now holding my hand instead of my sleeve.

"You…—Mi-na, you're similar to Sensei."

"………………………………I'm so far from convinced, I'm surprised I don't feel angry or anything. Huh? What? Where? What do you mean—"

"Like how you're so refreshingly, almost absurdly confident about your own 'power'."

"Are you subtly making fun of me from the get-go???"

"You fool. As if I would ever say anything to make fun of Sensei."

"Oof… that's incredibly persuasive… Hey, just now, you didn't just make fun of me, you straight up—"

"And then, the way you pursue your ideal."

I put a little strength into my left hand to tell her to be quiet for a moment, and her small, chatty mouth comically snapped shut.

"Your personalities aren't similar at all. What you're seeking is completely different. But you were both selfishly, willfully… captivatingly devoted to forging your own paths."

"…"

"—In Utopia, an ideal 'place to belong.' …In your case, I suppose it's a 'place for the two of you,' including Ri-na."

"………………………"

"When I realized it, honestly, I felt pure respect. It's normal to drift towards a place you want to be, and even when creating one, it's common to read the room… but you, with an absurd amount of effort and absolutely no compromise, were trying to create your own place to belong."

"………………………………………………"

"It's a bit much to say it out loud, but the atmosphere of the Ten Seats, where everyone is closer than some families, was created by none other than you. Even I, who joined later, can tell."

"……………………………………………………………………"

"You're similar. Selfish, willful… and achieving great things."

In other words, it's just that simple.

"It's a simple matter, isn't it? —You're exactly my type."

It's only natural that I'd be drawn to you. It wasn't that I fell for you because you resembled someone else; I simply fell for two different people who shared a quality I already liked.

I was never dragging the past along.

And you were never, ever a substitute.

"Now then, Mi-na."

"…, ………"

"You're redder than usual. Are you alright?"

"Don't, look at me, you i-idiot…!!!"

It was a light that shone just as brightly, and I was simply captivated by it.

That was all.