kscans

Chapter 770 - The Time in Her Heart

And so, this, too, ended up being the usual.

"—And, from all of the above, I believe you now understand that there is no truth to the notion that I personally have a preference for women with long black hair."

"Hah…"

We both went down in flames, then reset. It was a familiar routine, an unspoken agreement where we sacrifice our physical and mental energy to set the mood.

When our embarrassment reaches a critical point, we both reach a state of resignation, a sort of 'whatever happens, happens' mindset. It's a ruinous technique that grants us both a temporary invincibility mode.

"Haru."

"Yes."

"It's not… I mean, I think everyone has preferences, so. You don't need to make excuses… or rather, I'd actually like you to just tell me honestly, if you will."

"Okay, got it, you haven't understood a single thing."

There would be blowback, of course. The regret would undoubtedly wash over us after we parted ways, but who cares about later? We're living in the now, so bring it on.

More important than such trivialities, I had decided to thoroughly clear up this misunderstanding here and now, so I couldn't back down. For the sake of my own dignity, I had to fight on with conviction.

"Like I've said over, and over, and over, and over again, okay? I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I have a habit of getting my eyes drawn to appearances I'm not used to!"

"A habit."

"Everyone remembers the way someone looked when they first met as their 'default,' right? And if that memory is colored by some ridiculously intense and vivid experience, it's even more so."

"That's, yes."

"So, this isn't just about Iris. If it were Nia, or of course even you, Sora, I'm sure I'd have a similar reaction seeing you in the real world, different from how you look over there. In fact, I'm positive I did! Yes, absolutely positive! You of all people must have noticed, right?!"

"That, too… yes."

"Yes, you've accepted it, and I'm not taking it back. To reiterate, from the above facts, it is not true that I have a 'thing' for long black hair or anything of the sort—"

"So you like the contrast."

"………………"

"………………"

And thus, the result of my all-out resistance.

"So, um… my attempt… wasn't a mistake, then…………"

"………………………………"

Getting swept up in the output of my invincibility mode and suffering a death more spectacular than usual was, most regrettably, just another part of the oft-repeated 'usual.'

Her hair now styled and gleaming with an extra shine, she toyed with the ends and muttered.

"I've always… admired it, so."

Twisting a lock of hair that had grown just a little longer than when we first met, she whispered.

"I'll do my best to grow it out. …So, um…"

Still nestled on my lap as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she added dreamily.

"I-…────I hope you'll… look forward to it…"

"………………………………………………………………………………YES, MA'AM."

With pinpoint accuracy, she struck a chord within me. The innocent yet cunning girl was unbeatable again today. Her overwhelming combat power would put a certain invincible samurai to shame.

"You are… interested, right?"

"I am."

"…When I ask it like this, you're very honest, aren't you."

It's definitely not for just anyone—I managed to restrain myself from that further self-destructive comment.

"Sora-san."

"Yes."

"My legs are starting to fall asleep."

"No."

"Seriously…"

She, too, was my invincible partner who didn't hide her selfish desires in moments like these and was incredibly honest about wanting to be spoiled. It was almost time for dinner, but would she feel like letting me go before then? Ah, fine, fine, have it your way.

"Five more minutes, max."

"………………"

"Don't protest with silence."

The girl pressed her back against mine, and in response to her silent plea, I pushed all thoughts of her body heat, the sensation of her touch, and everything else to the back of my mind and began to comb through the hair I'd just finished styling.

There was no way I could be rough or careless. I had to be extremely gentle.

And that's why. The silky softness that was unavoidably transmitted to my fingertips was making the back of my head tingle unbearably.

"…………Today."

Still, I couldn't bring myself to refuse, and as if to voice further complaints to her number one captive, who could only obey meekly, a light pinch on my knee was accompanied by a whisper.

"…I think I understand why Itsuki-san said what she did."

She was pouting… but the color of her tone felt different. There was dissatisfaction, but more than that, it was a voice that sounded 'troubled.' As if she didn't know what to do.

"Haru, you've gotten used to it, haven't you."

"Used to it?"

She must have sensed my head tilt, even though I wasn't looking back. With her eyes still fixed on the wall opposite us, Sora paused for a moment before continuing—

"To… being in c-contact… with me, I mean."

Well, I could tell those words took courage to say.

As I momentarily froze, wondering how to respond or if a response was even expected right now, she pressed her slender back even more firmly against mine.

"I-I know. I know, okay? Um…, …………"

It was as if—no, it was probably exactly that.

"That you get all… flustered, like this… for me."

Feeling my genuine heartbeat, the girl spoke.

She spoke, sounding somewhat conflicted.

"But, still, that's………… because I'm your partner. That's part of it."

"………………"

"It's the same, right? It's the same for me. The sense of security, the trust… it's the same. I understand."

Even if her words were disjointed, it didn't matter. Not at all.

"—Sorry. Am I making you anxious?"

"Ngh… No, um… no."

In other words, Sora herself harbored that same fear, which was why she was able to read the thoughts of that maid—her sister—whose mind was otherwise too difficult to comprehend.

After all, at the very foundation of it all…

"You only see me as a partner, don't you?"

"…………"

"And even if that's not all, it gets in the way of other things, doesn't it?"

Well, it might be only natural that I'd make her feel that way.

After all, compared to Nia or Iris, I inevitably treat Sora as special. I just do. I'm aware of it, and it's an undeniable fact.

That's precisely why I was making her feel insecure.

That is to say, she wondered if it wasn't favoritism, but a form of separation.

Was she really being seen as a girl?

I was conscious of her, that much should have been clear. It absolutely should have been.

But… the relationship we had as 'partners' was just too significant, and it's an unavoidable thought that gets overshadowed by it.

"…………I am your partner, after all."

"Yeah."

"And I'm younger."

"That you are."

"A three-year difference is pretty big."

"Well, a three-year gap between students is huge, yeah."

Not since we met in the real world… but since that night, when we made our promise.

"…Even I think of myself as a child."

Sora had started to refer to herself as a 'child' more often.

"It's not that I'm anxious. I'm happy. That, too, is a precious 'connection' to me… and we made a promise together—but…"

This shift in her heart likely arose from her decision to steel her resolve alongside me.

"This sense of security is… frustrating…"

We cannot separate the trust and affection we have for each other from our emotions.

It's only been about six months. But in that time, we've built a miraculous bond, filled with a density that rivals the entire lives we lived before we met.

Our hearts have become deeply, deeply, deeply connected, like something out of an unbelievable fairy tale.

And because we can't let go, we're always too close, and sometimes, we lose sight of things.

"I guess that's how it looks from the outside, too."

"…………Yes."

That's why Itsuki-san started saying outrageous things to stir the pot. She probably saw how I was interacting with Sora yesterday, without any hesitation or restraint.

As she said, it probably isn't 'anxiety.'

It's something more troublesome, more helpless, more frustrating. A 'fetter' of 'security' born from placing another relationship on top of our unparalleled bond as partners—

"…………"

"…, Mmm…………"

As I gently combed her hair, a breath full of trust escaped her lips.

It stirred the air, the atmosphere… and above all, my own heart.

"…………, ……, ……………………, ………………………………"

I tried to form words, wondered if they had any meaning, got trapped in thought, was pinned down by emotion, and opened and closed my mouth repeatedly.

But I could see what I wanted to say.

I knew what I had to say. Besides,

"…………. Sora."

I haven't forgotten my resolve since that day.

So even if I struggle, even if I hesitate—for me, right now, that silence is not hesitation, but merely a running start to gather my courage.

"You're precious to me."

I say the words, and I don't stop.

"I want to be with you always."

I say the words, and I don't hold back.

"Having you by my side makes me feel so incredibly secure."

I say the words, and I don't suppress them.

"All of that might sound like something a partner would say. And I'm sorry, but that will probably always come first… maybe I can't ever change that."

"…, …But, that—"

"But I'm watching you."

Not just to know her thoughts, but to share our feelings. To not break that promise.

"It's to the point where it's hopelessly troubling, but I see you, Sora. I really do see you as a girl—I distinguish my feelings there, and I'm facing all three of you properly."

No lies. No embellishments.

It's nothing new that I'm uncool, pathetic, and stained with sin.

So what? Even if the whole world calls me a scoundrel one day, I swore I would dedicate my life to facing the three people who told me they have feelings for me.

Listen up, world.

Until I find my answer, and even beyond that, you'd better watch me closely.

"And, so… —I need you to wait a little longer for me to put it into words."

Sora, Nia, and Iris. They tell me they 'like' me with such straightforward honesty—and in my heart, as I walk forward, drawn to the three of them…

There is not a single shred of contradiction or flaw.

So,

"I'll show you with my actions, but keep it a secret."

"Eh…—H-Heh?!"

I didn't hold a partner, nor did I lift up a young lady… I simply embraced the 'girl' who was worrying her heart out for my sake.

From behind, without seeing her face. Tightly, tightly, just as I wanted to.

"Wh-Wha…!? H-Haru—"

"You can curse me for doing this without giving you an answer. It's laughably overdue, and since I can't convey it with words, I have no other choice, so forgive me."

"Heah… W-Wait, my ear… —"

"Actually, don't forgive me, but I at least want you to understand. On that point, you have no reason to worry or doubt me."

"U-Um… E-Eh… —"

"As a partner, I wouldn't do this. Not even I would go that far."

"…, ………………"

She was flustered, but she didn't resist.

As I spoke, being careful not to crush her slender body, I tightened my arms. She didn't try to fight back; instead, the tension in her body melted away in an instant, and I held her close.

"I think you're cute. Criminally so."

"Ngh…"

"Every time we touch like this, my inexperienced heart goes into overdrive."

"I-… ………………I-Is that, so…?"

"It is. You can believe it. This heartbeat."

As if to tell her I didn't even feel like letting go.

"I'm truly at my wit's end. What am I supposed to do about this? I'll confess something you could punch me for, but it's because I can't give an answer that it's so painful."

"P-Painful, how?"

There's only one answer to that.

"…The pain of a man who can't officially make a move on a girl who's so ridiculously attractive."

"—Ngh…"

Thump. Through her back.

I felt the girl's heart give a massive, powerful leap, so strong I thought it might collide with my own and explode.

…Were those words a little too much for a fifteen-year-old girl? —Well, whatever, that's also overdue. And while I'm at it, I might as well correct a misconception of hers.

"…Anyway, from all that, I think you get this part, too. I've pretty much never treated you 'like a child.'"

"Eh, bu—"

"But it's true. No matter who says what, it's true. Sure, when we first met, I acted like you were a 'little sister,' and I still treat you as 'someone younger,' you know? But that's just me acting based on role-play, our current relationship, and all that. In the first place, until I met you in person, I thought you were older, you know?"

"…………, ……"

"The only times I've 'treated you like a child' have been when I was joking around. Ever since I heard your age, I've just been doubting it, like, 'Is Sora-san really fifteen?'"

That was from the bottom of my heart, no lies.

Therefore,

"I'm eighteen. Sora is fifteen—that's something I learned later, you know."

"Later… uhm, what do you mean?"

"I said it earlier, didn't I? I see someone's initial appearance and impression as their 'default.'"

If anything, for me, Sora is…

"It's harder to 'treat you like a child.'"

No matter what, the impression from when we first met—her innocent yet graceful, polite, and calm demeanor that made me feel her 'maturity' and 'femininity'—hasn't faded.

Sure, there are times when, in the flow of things, I think her age-appropriate behavior is childlike and cute, but that's a different story. I have never, ever truly 'treated Sora like a child.'

So, when it comes right down to it, there's only one thing I want to say.

"Conclusion. You'd better not let your guard down."

"…………W-What, should I be careful of?"

She didn't need to ask; she probably already knew.

Held in my unwavering arms, her voice trembled slightly from tension, and who knows what else… perhaps, for the first time, she was becoming aware of a whole new realm of emotions.

For now, I let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't from fear.

"Because I am, without a doubt, a 'man,' and you are, without a doubt, a 'girl' to me."

It was unfamiliar, but I believed this was a necessary ritual for the future—

"You need to… —see me properly as a man, too."

"—Hih, ngh…!?"

I put my three years of gray high school life and the acting skills I'd cultivated in society on full display.

"Don't just trust me. Be properly wary, too. …………If you're not, it's a problem for me, too. It's not just about you, Sora, but… you get it?"

I deliberately whispered right into her ear. Making sure to stay within a limit that wouldn't scare her too much, I spoke as if I were an older man admonishing a cute and irresistibly charming girl.

—While internally scoffing at the fact that this was, in reality, a desperate 'plea for my life.'

"Sora."

"Y-Yessir…!!!"

"Your answer."

"—Ngh, yessir…!!!!!"

When I used a tone she probably hadn't heard from me often… I felt a bit sorry for how completely flustered she became.

"—Good, that's settled. Sora understands, and my self-control is preserved. Now that we've achieved a mutually beneficial understanding, it's about time for dinner."

I snapped back to my usual tone, released my embrace to ease the immense tension and turmoil I'd intentionally caused, and gently patted the top of the girl's head.

Of course, if she even showed a hint of turning around, I was prepared to lock her head in place.

Obviously. There's no way I can maintain a straight face while calmly playing a character so completely contrary to my own. If she sees my face right now, my pathetic state will explode and I'll die—

"—U-Um, yes………… Um, dinner, yes, um… uh…"

While I was desperately trying to soothe my own chaotic heart and maintain a calm voice… it was like an over-the-top expression from the virtual world.

The girl, blushing bright red all the way to her neck peeking out from her yukata, her voice and body trembling, strung together a few fleeting words, barely audible like the buzzing of a mosquito—

"I-I'm, sorr… I can't, stand… I can't move…"

"………………"

"M-My… um…………………… My legs, seem to have given out…"

"……………………………………………………You've got to be kidding me…"

"'Kidding me'…! 'Kidding me'?! Isn't this your fault, Haru…?!"

"Sora-san, that's what I'm talking about. Please, be careful, I'm begging you."

"What's that supposed to mean?! I don't know, what is it, honestly…!"

"Could you please not carelessly provoke my self-control? Don't underestimate an eighteen-year-old guy, you hear? Seriously, all of you young ladies, every single one of you… Gaaah!"

"W-What, ngh—Whoa?! H-Haru, wait, what are you…!?"

"I don't know, let's go. I'm starving. If you're embarrassed, just pretend to be asleep."

"Heh, whaaaat…?! W-Wait…! Wait, wait, waaaait!"

Well, whatever.

It ended up being a chaotic mess driven by momentum, just like us—

"No waiting!"

"Hey, sto—Moooooooore!"

—but judging by that adorably angry shout, I guess my unfamiliar attempt at being cool was worth it. On that note, I could finally rest easy.

And besides, this was a special occasion. A special trip.

For the remaining two days, we could just stay like this, just as we've always been… side by side.