kscans

Chapter 33 - Can't Be Helped

"Look, look, Kaede-chan! I made a Healing Potion with an empty can and got an aluminum flask!"

I showed the aluminum flask potion to Kaede-chan, who was looking down at her phone next to me.

"That's great... so? What should we do?"

Kaede-chan asked with a straight face.

"R-right. What should we do?"

After spending the night in Hokkaido, Kaede-chan and I took a morning flight and returned to Tokyo. We arrived at my place just after noon. The plan for today was to look for a place to live together from my apartment.

So, naturally, the two of us were supposed to be apartment hunting... but we weren't.

The reason was because the show I was on yesterday was going viral.

The reason...

I put down the aluminum flask potion I'd made to escape reality and looked at my phone.

『Witch Speaks a Mysterious Language!』

『A Language That Everyone Can Understand!?』

『Is the Golden Witch Human or Demon!?』

Well, that was a mistake. Whoops!

When we got back to my place and were happily looking for apartments, Kaede-chan's expression suddenly turned serious.

"This is because of that Translation Potion, isn't it?"

"Yep. I drank it."

"You idiot! Senpai, you're such an idiot! What were you thinking!?"

Kaede-chan started to strangle me. Not with any real force, though.

"Well, they were using all these difficult English words. It would look bad if the mysterious girl turned out to be an idiot, right? So I drank it before I went."

I don't know words like 'ambassador'.

"This is too mysterious! People are saying it makes no sense because not just Japanese people, but Americans and Chinese people can understand only your words!"

Well, that's what a Translation Potion does.

"What's done is done. Let's just hurry up and announce the Translation Potion. We can just say it was Dropped by a Slime."

"Is everything from a Slime... Won't that cause a massive Slime Hunting spree?"

Poor Mr. Slime.

"It's fine, it's fine. No one will believe it anymore. I already said the 1000 kilogram Item Bag was Dropped by a Slime. They'll just think I'm an idiot."

And there were two of them. No one will believe it. There's no way they would.

"Eleanor-san is now being treated as a completely non-human entity. There's even a theory that she's from Frontier."

I've never even seen anyone from Frontier.

"So the whole mysterious angle was a success. A little too successful, maybe."

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Shall we just own it and move forward?"

That's what it always comes down to. We knew we would attract attention no matter what we did.

"Exactly. I'll go to the Guild as Eleanor tomorrow, so let's talk to Satsuki-san."

"Understood. Please come early."

"Roger."

"Haa... I hope the Guild Master isn't freaking out."

Kaede-chan sighed and slumped her shoulders.

"She'll be fine. That woman only has eyes for money. More importantly, let's look for an apartment. I really want to move out of here already."

The hotel we stayed at yesterday had a pretty nice room. Staying there and then coming back home is honestly depressing. I want to graduate from this cracker-thin futon before winter comes.

"Well, you have a point. I've also grown tired of this quaint room."

You'd get tired of a room like this after seeing it once. And yet, I've lived here for four years.

"Right? Let's look, let's look."

Putting Eleanor Ocean aside, Kaede-chan and I started searching for apartments on our phones.

To be blunt, Eleanor Ocean can disappear at any time. It's just a matter of how much I can earn before that happens. I already have at least 160 million yen. If I add the proceeds from the upcoming 1000 kilogram Item Bag sale to that, there'll be no problem for Kaede-chan and me to live on.

"Senpai, I think a 2LDK would be good. What do you think?"

A room for me, a room for Kaede-chan, a living room, and a dining kitchen. Yeah, that sounds about right.

"Sounds good. If it's too big, cleaning will be a pain, and even if we get a lot of stuff, we have the Item Bag."

"Right? And with an Item Bag, moving will be so easy."

Totally, totally.

"Yep. Let's search along those lines, then."

"Let's do that... Do you have any preferences, Senpai?"

"Preferences?"

"Like location, or if you want a new building."

Not really... Anywhere would be better than here.

"Whatever you recommend is fine, Kaede-chan. I'm a freelancer, so it's better if you, the stylish one, decide. Don't worry about the money."

"Really... Well, I guess that's how guys are."

Oh?

"Was your ex-boyfriend like that, Kaede-chan?"

Did she have a boyfriend in college? Ah, but maybe she got one after I graduated. There was also her time as a working adult.

"I've never had an ex. In high school, I was all about my club activities, and in college, I just had fun. As for being a working adult... I didn't have the time or the opportunity to meet anyone."

Yeah, I get that. It's tough once you start working. It was for me, too.

"I see."

"Ah... I have a younger brother who's a college student. He was just like that. He leaves everything up to our parents."

Just like that? Are you my mom?

"You have a younger brother, huh?"

I didn't know that.

"What about you, Senpai?"

"I'm an Only Child."

"That sounds about right."

I wonder.

"Hmm, still, there are a lot of 2LDKs."

"There are. I see what you meant before, Senpai. It's true that when money isn't an issue, it's hard to decide which one is best."

Normally, when you rent a place, you decide on the rent first. But without a limit on the rent, there are too many options, and it gets overwhelming.

"Right? Should we just leave it to a professional?"

"A professional? Oh, you mean ask a real estate agent... Let's do that."

It would probably be better to see their recommendations in person.

"Wanna go check one out? It's a weekday, so we should be able to."

"That sounds good. Oh, and I should tell you this first, Senpai, but the lease will be in my name."

"Hmm? Why? I'll pay for everything."

Is she thinking about what happens if we break up!? (We're not even dating.)

"It might be difficult for you, Senpai. You're an F-rank Adventurer. You'd need to be at least D-rank..."

Oh, so I wouldn't pass the screening...

"I see. Let's do that, then. I don't mind either way."

"I'm sorry, even though you're paying for everything."

"Don't worry about it. I just want to be with you, Kaede-chan."

"Senpai... I'll be your parasite for life."

What a choice of words.

"Go ahead, go ahead. Be a horsehair worm. More importantly, how long am I going to be F-rank?"

"You can become E-rank if you apply."

So I can!?

"Really?"

"Rank is determined at the discretion of the guild staff and with the approval of the Guild Master. From my perspective as your dedicated staff member, you're at an E-rank level, Senpai. Your skill is one thing, but your experience is still limited, so I can't quite approve D-rank yet."

She's giving me a serious evaluation.

"Huh, well then, I'll apply."

"I think that's a good idea. There aren't many benefits to ranking up besides name recognition, but it adds to your prestige, so it's a good thing."

Like I care about that.

"Don't need it."

"No, it's actually pretty important. Wouldn't it tick you off if some high school kid told you to step aside because you're F-rank?"

An image of that little jerk from the other day flashed through my mind.

"That would piss me off so much."

"See? Eleanor-san's fame is maxed out in a different sense, so her rank doesn't matter, but you need it, Senpai. Let's aim for A-rank."

A-rank, huh.

"I wonder if I can become like Saegusa-san?"

"Why her? You're not even the same gender."

"Well, she's a solo too. And I don't really know anyone else. I was never that interested in other Adventurers... Ah, but I know that one guy. Uhm, Kiryu... Kiryu?"

"That would be Kiryu Akira-san. He's the top ranker at the Shibuya branch."

I think that was his name. His last name is distinctive, so I remember it. He was handsome and looked popular with the ladies.

"Isn't he popular too?"

"He is. He has a reputation for having a sweet face and many fans."

"Is that the kind of guy you like, Kaede-chan?"

Doki doki.

"Absolutely not. He's famous among Adventurers, but he's a notorious womanizer. You, or rather, Eleanor-san should be careful around him too, Senpai."

"Actually, I hear Eleanor-san likes women?"

"Well, I'm sure she does. But wouldn't it be bad if that got out?"

True... I should probably avoid saying that, even as a joke.