kscans

Chapter 142 - The Unsolvable Contradiction, The Words That Reached

Ariel was, once again, making alchemy tools. Darius would be happy to have them at the base, and they would be useful when she climbed Sacred Peak Mountain with Leonhard. Potions, High Potions, All-Purpose Bandages, Sleep Orbs, a tornado kit, an air head for breathing underwater...

Right, the Monster-Repelling Bells too.

Bells were apparently good for repelling monsters. When she tried it after hearing so from Mireille, their effect indeed lasted about a day longer than a chime. So she was making a large number of bells and lining them up.

If I built a bell tower and applied a monster-repelling process, the effect might last for about a month. But then we wouldn't be able to hunt monsters, and wouldn't that disrupt the ecosystem? Maybe it would be good to build them along the roads in Adrian's territory.

She hummed a tune that wasn't quite a tune. She didn't know any songs, after all. So she couldn't sing.

Truth be told, even though she had an apprentice in Mireille, she didn't consider herself particularly skilled at alchemy. Back in the Mage Order, she had only made things because she had to, making them until she lost consciousness. Just because she could make better things than others didn't mean it was her specialty. She had only perfected High Potions because magic couldn't heal missing limbs.

She probably wasn't skilled at it because she could accomplish most things with magic. Her skills would get rusty right away if she didn't consciously practice.

---

Suddenly, she remembered the diary.

And what she had said to Darius about "purification magic."

She hadn't cast purification on Darius when he had taken the aphrodisiac. But she should have been able to dispel something like an aphrodisiac with purification magic. So it was surely her own desire. When she told him this, Darius had seemed profoundly relieved, and from that day on, he had begun to seek her out again.

...I have no memory of the past, and it's so frustrating I want to turn my head inside out, but when Darius wants me, I feel fulfilled and safe. So I can't believe that my past self was any different.

However.

For some reason, the me in the diary couldn't even remove the poison given to her by Rainer with purification magic, and had continued to take antidotes. What's more, she couldn't even prevent the queen's mental interference.

And yet, there shouldn't have been any mage stronger than me.

---

She actually tried making an antidote.

There were many types of poison. Snake venom, plant poison, bee venom, fish monster venom... countless types. And so, there were countless antidotes.

But the one she had used at the time of Rainer was likely an "all-purpose type." It worked by sealing all attributes, fire, water, wind, and earth, in a capsule and making them clash inside the body to neutralize the poison. As a result, it was effective against any poison.

However, the side effects were atrocious. Your head would pound, you'd feel nauseous, it was as if a small-scale war was erupting inside your body.

Why didn't purification magic work?

...This was the greatest contradiction.

---

What did the queen and Rainer have in common? The Mage Order? She had only bad memories of the Mage Order.

The only things she could remember were blood, corpses, and attacks. There were no allies. She had no memory of sleeping. Even the person who had taught her about the Magic Furnace had disappeared at some point.

When she closed her eyes, the same scene always floated to the surface. Someone's dead body, splattered blood, and mages attacking her. She must have reflexively fought back against those who attacked her.

...The Mage Order's headquarters was the Magic Furnace. Would it be bad if I went to the Magic Furnace?

She was forbidden from going near the Magic Furnace. By Adrian, by Leonhard. And by Darius.

If only she could get permission...

---

"No."

The moment she showed her face at the base, Darius’s voice flew at her. Among the surprised unit members, some rushed over, calling out, "Captain!" But honestly, she had no memory of them.

"I’m sorry. I have no memory," was all she could say in apology.

It was a flat-out no.

"I guess it’s no good..." She let her shoulders droop.

"I want to grant any wish you have. But the Magic Furnace alone is not allowed," Darius said, his face pale, his expression severe and grim.

"That is the place where you suffered terrible violence and lost your memory. And the person there now is my brother. A man who showered you with cruel words and still has not repented."

"Is that so..." It wasn’t written in the diary. In that case, she probably shouldn’t go.

"The way he is now, he doesn’t understand that he is at fault, and he holds a grudge against you."

"A grudge...?"

"...Let’s go back to the tower. If you’ve brought this many alchemy tools, everyone will be able to rest easy." With that, Darius handed the tools to the unit members, swept me up into his arms, and teleported with the ring.

---

Even after returning to the tower, though I was usually the one to hug him, today it was Darius who uncharacteristically wouldn’t let me go.

"I’m sorry... Did I scare you?"

...I noticed. Darius was trembling.

"I’m scared of you getting hurt, of your memories disappearing... of losing sight of you."

Had I been the one to inflict such fear upon Darius?

And so I hugged him back tightly.

"I’m sorry, I just wanted to investigate the Mage Order. I love you. Even if my memories don’t return, I love you, Darius."

Darius’s head shot up with a start, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"This is the first time you’ve said ‘I love you’ to me." Darius hugged me once more.