Chapter 102 - 102: Theodore's Perspective
As the sound of Rachel-jou's footsteps faded into the distance, I let out a heavy sigh.
That was a close one.
I thought for a moment she had remembered, I muttered to myself, my voice dissolving into the starlit sky beyond the glass. Watching the twinkling lights, I found myself drifting back to the time I first met that young girl.
"Monster! Stay away!"
It was my best friend who had screamed those words at me when I was twelve. He was someone who was always smiling, someone I had never seen angry, someone who would cheer and say, "Theodore, you're amazing!" whenever I showed him a new spell. I trusted him more than anyone. I loved him as a friend.
But his smile had begun to fade. His grandfather's corruption had been discovered, and he had started being bullied by the other children. One day, I saw him surrounded by five classmates, lying on the ground with blood trickling from his mouth. In that instant, a heat I had never felt before rushed to my head, and rage consumed my entire body.
I had to save him. I could not forgive them.
As if responding to my fury, lightning struck repeatedly toward those five boys. Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—it did not hit them, and the bullies ran away screaming. But when I reached out a hand to my friend, he swatted it away, his face pale and trembling. He rejected me with that single word: "Monster."
In that moment, my very sense of self began to crumble.
As the heir to the House of Marquis Camus, a family known for producing exceptional mages, I had been blessed with talent and burdened with expectation since birth. Yet even within that family, I understood that I was an anomaly. I could manipulate magic I had never been taught, and more than anything, I could understand the language of spirits.
The rejection from the friend I trusted most made the abnormality I had always felt painfully clear. Many said I was a throwback to our ancestors because the Camus family carried the blood of the Saint. But that was not it. I felt something within me far greater than the power of a Saint... something like the power of a spirit itself.
I sought the answer to my own nature, and it came more easily than expected. It was during the time I had shut myself away after that incident. My father's contracted spirit, a High-ranking Spirit of Fire, spoke to me.
"A long time ago, a girl born to the Saint and the King fell in love with the Spirit King. They had a beautiful daughter, and she married into this house! That is why everyone in this family has such strong mana. But you are even more special! It seems you inherited the power of both the spirits and the Saint. Normally, one does not inherit the power of spirits! That is why all the spirits love you."
"A descendant of the Spirit King? I have never heard of such a past."
"Manipulating human memory is a simple task for the Spirit King."
"Then... why tell me this now?"
"Because you are suffering. When you are sad, the spirits are sad too. You wished to know, so I came to tell you."
So, I was neither spirit nor human. A half-baked existence. The truth was far too heavy for a twelve-year-old to carry. From then on, I withdrew further into my shell. I kept my hood pulled low over my head, terrified of interacting with others. I feared that with such massive power, I might truly hurt someone next time. And I was terrified of being rejected again by someone I cared about.
My daily life consisted of hiding in my room or burying myself in texts in the estate's library. But one day, while I was lying in the back of the garden reading a book for a change of pace...
"Who are you?"
A girl's voice drifted down from above. I shifted my book to see a girl of about six or seven peering down at me. "...Who are you?"
"Me? I am Rachel Marcel. I came here with my grandmother today."
The granddaughter of the Marquis of Marcel. I see. The granddaughter of my grandmother's closest friend. "I was here first. Go back to your grandmother."
"No! Grandmother is doing nothing but talking and leaving me all alone."
"That is what she enjoys, so it cannot be helped."
"So, who are you?"
No matter how I tried to brush her off, the girl showed no sign of leaving. Instead, she sat down on a nearby bench and looked at me with intense curiosity, her large, upturned eyes sparkling. "I have no intention of giving my name."
"Why not? Ah! I know!" The girl let out a bright exclamation as if she had solved a puzzle. I gave her a weary look, hoping she would leave, but she didn't seem to notice. "You are the 'troublesome grandson' Flavie-sama was talking about!"
"What?"
"She said she was sad because you have not shown your face lately."
"Good grief, she talks too much." Flavie was my grandmother. This girl must have overheard her talking to her own grandmother. "Anyway, I have no interest in playing with children. My younger brother is around here somewhere. Go play with him."
"I do not want to! You mean Lian, right? Lian threw bugs at me. And he pulled on my skirt!"
"Haha, my apologies for that. I am sure Lian just wanted your attention."
"Even so, I just told him I would not play with him anymore." The girl puffed out her cheeks in obvious anger. My brother certainly was a handful. He likely just wanted to play with a cute girl his age. The fact that his attempts had only made her hate him was both amusing and pitiful, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"I know! Show me some magic. Flavie-sama said Lian's older brother is very good at it."
"She said what?"
"Please, just a little bit."
Grandmother really shouldn't have said that. "I cannot," I whispered, looking down at my hands. Since that day, I had become afraid of using magic. I feared being rejected again. I feared my power would hurt someone. I couldn't bring myself to use it in front of anyone outside my family.
"You cannot use magic?"
"Yeah. Sorry."
The girl tilted her head and stared at me. I figured she would leave now that I'd said that. I returned my gaze to my book. But she didn't move. Sensing something odd, I shifted the book slightly to check on her. She stood up from the bench and snatched the book right out of my hands. Before I could protest, her bright voice rang out.
"In that case, I shall teach you!"
"What?"
Teach me magic? A child not even ten years old, who hadn't even been invited to a royal tea party yet, was going to teach me? While I sat there speechless, she continued with a happy laugh. "You know, my mana is very, very strong! So once I start learning magic, I will teach it to you."
What nonsense. Even if her mana was strong, it was nothing compared to mine. "Is having strong mana really such a good thing?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"I just want to be a normal human." Lately, I couldn't help but wish I hadn't been born with this much power. If I hadn't, my friend wouldn't have hated me. I wouldn't have been feared. I could have been like everyone else.
"Is being normal fun?" The girl looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I am happy to have strong mana! It makes me special."
"Special, huh." I didn't want to be special. To me, even this girl with her slightly-above-average mana was just a normal human. "I do not mind not being normal. Being able to use lots of magic is fun, don't you think?"
Fun? It was true that magic had always been a natural part of my life. When I learned something new, I would show my parents, and they would pat my head and tell me I was amazing. I wanted to make them happy, and playing with spirits was enjoyable... that was why I had immersed myself in it. But still... I was different. "...I am a monster."
"A monster? Like a ghost or a goblin?"
"Exactly. My mana is so strong that my friends are afraid of me. I have dozens, hundreds of times more mana than you." Why was I telling this to a girl I had just met? A younger girl at that. But once the weakness started leaking out, it wouldn't stop. I wasn't looking for comfort or to scare her. Perhaps I just wanted someone to listen. Fearing her reaction, I pulled my hood deeper. But my weakness didn't seem to affect her at all.
"You have that much mana!?" Her voice was bright and full of wonder. I looked up to see her water-blue eyes sparkling as she stared at me with genuine admiration.
"...I am strong enough to hurt you easily."
"But you would not, would you?"
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you are not mean to me like Lian is." I couldn't help but smirk. Of course a twelve-year-old was different from a five-year-old. I wasn't about to pull her skirt for attention. "Besides, if you have strong mana, you can use magic however you like, right? You can use it to be mean, or you can use it to help... you can do both."
Magic to help someone. Power to protect... I held my hands out in front of my face. My power wasn't just for hurting people. Her words pierced straight into my heart like a single ray of light in the darkness, wrapping my soul in warmth. I see. I just wanted someone to say that to me. That my power was an anomaly, but not a terror. I didn't care if I was human or spirit. I just wanted my power—and myself—to be accepted.
"...You say some pretty good things for a kid."
"You are a child too!" A dry, awkward laugh escaped me. "Theodore."
"Eh?" I pulled back my hood and looked at her. Rachel's eyes went wide when she saw my face. "That is my name. Theodore." Once she realized I was introducing myself, she beamed with a radiant smile. Her eyes were the same clear blue as the sky that day, and I found myself thinking they were beautiful.
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The past of the Spirit King was briefly mentioned. Theodore's perspective will continue in the next chapter.