Chapter 103 - 103: Theodore's Perspective
Many things changed after that encounter. My family said nothing when I stopped wearing my hood and hiding in my room, but they seemed relieved. And whenever Rachel came to the estate, it became natural for me to be called to see her.
"What are you going to show me today?"
"How about I make some animals out of the water in this fountain?"
"Yes! I want to see!"
She was fascinated by magic. Whenever I showed her something, her eyes would sparkle with joy. Because of her, I was able to remember that magic could be fun. The days I spent with Rachel slowly cleared the gloom within me, and I felt myself beginning to heal. Today, I decided to create animals she would like. As expected, her cat-like eyes were fixed on my hands, shimmering with anticipation. I couldn't help but smile.
I held my hand toward the fountain, and the water rose in a large mass, floating and bobbing in sync with my movements. "That is amazing!"
"You can touch it if you like."
"Really? Wow, it is cold!" Rachel reached out and touched the water with delight. "Now then, first..."
"It is a sheep!" I shaped the water into a sheep, and Rachel cheered, staring at it intently. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as I shifted the water into a horse, a dog, a cow, and a cat. Each time the shape changed, she let out a cry of wonder, and my own expression softened.
"This is the last one."
"Beautiful! A bird!" I turned the water into a bird and made it fly around her. Rachel followed it with her gaze toward the blue sky. With a flick of my hand, the water burst in mid-air. "Oh, how lovely! A rainbow!"
A large rainbow appeared in the sky, framed by the shimmering mist of water droplets. I looked at Rachel, who had been watching the rainbow happily, and our eyes met. She gave me a brilliant smile. "Thank you."
"It was nothing."
"I wonder if I will be able to do that someday."
"Yes. You have an affinity for water, so if you study hard, you will be able to do it."
"Truly? I will study very hard then. When I can do it, I will show you first."
"I look forward to it."
At the time, I thought these days with Rachel would continue forever. I imagined her visiting our home, playing with me and Lian. I thought she would always look at my magic with those sparkling eyes. And eventually, I would be the one to teach her magic... I had vaguely envisioned such a future.
But when I was fourteen, the news of Rachel's grandmother's death changed everything.
A month after the funeral, my grandmother was preparing to visit the Marcel estate to return some items she had been holding. I insisted on going with her. When we arrived, the first thing I saw was the garden. The sheer beauty of the seasonal flowers was overwhelming. Seeing them bloom so vibrantly made me imagine Rachel smiling among them, and a faint smile touched my lips.
But she was likely grieving now. At the funeral, she had seemed remarkably composed for an eight-year-old, biting her lip and looking straight ahead without shedding a tear. That was exactly why I was so worried. There was no way she wasn't devastated by the loss of the grandmother she adored.
Marquis Marcel's wife greeted us, and after a brief exchange, I asked about Rachel. As I feared, she had been putting on a brave face and spending much of her time alone in her room. With the Marchioness's permission, I headed to her room. "Rachel."
When the maid led me inside, Rachel was sitting on a sofa. She looked up, and I could see that her eyes were bloodshot. I knew it. I suspected she had been crying all alone. I walked over and gently stroked her head. I felt the tension leave her shoulders as her clenched fists slowly relaxed.
"They say I cannot see Grandmother anymore."
"...I suppose so."
"They say she went to heaven."
"...Yes."
"But we promised to go out together tomorrow."
"...I see."
I sat down beside her as she whispered in a weak, fading voice. "It is sad."
"Sad... is it?"
"Yes. It is very sad and lonely when you can no longer see someone important to you."
"I... if I cry, everyone looks so sad..."
"You have done well. You were crying all by yourself so you wouldn't worry them?" Rachel didn't answer, but she gave a single, silent nod.
Eight years old. Her first experience with the death of someone close. She could sense the atmosphere and understand what the adults were saying, yet she was still too young to fully grasp the concept of death. Going to heaven. Never meeting again. She understood it with her head, but her heart rejected it. She was fighting a lonely battle in the space between what she could and could not understand. I had no way of knowing exactly what she felt, but I wanted to lighten the burden on her heart. "It is alright to cry. It is alright to say you are sad." I pulled her head to my chest and gently ran my fingers through her hair.
"Everyone would be pained to see you sad, but they do not want you to hide it. I think they would want you to tell them when you are hurting."
"Truly?"
"If it were me, it would hurt more to know that someone I care about was crying all alone." I knew she was holding back for the sake of those around her, but the thought of her crying every day by herself made my own heart ache. "Will Mother and Father disappear like Grandmother did?" her small voice whispered. It was so quiet I wouldn't have heard it if I weren't sitting right next to her.
"Someday, yes. But that is true for me, for you, and for everyone who is alive. We all go to heaven eventually. But that is not something that will happen anytime soon."
"Me too?"
"Yes."
"I see," she whispered. "Will you disappear too?"
Me? I looked down at her, and our eyes met. "Would you be lonely?"
"I would be lonely."
"Me too. I would be lonely if I could not see you." A ticklish sort of happiness welled up at her answer. At the same time, I wanted to do something to cheer her up. "But... you know, you gave me hope."
"Hope? I did not give you anything." She looked at me with a confused expression, and I couldn't help but smile. She hadn't intended to save me, yet to me, she was a light of hope. She always would be. Even if she didn't want it, I wanted to protect her. "Just as you saved me from the darkness, I will save you when you are in the dark."
"...I am not afraid of the dark."
"Haha, I see. Then, if you are ever scared... I will help you."
"Really?"
"Yes. Absolutely." I answered firmly, and a smile finally returned to her face. Her eyes were still red and swollen, but the way they crinkled made me breathe a sigh of relief.
"It is a promise."
"I understand. It is a promise." I took her left hand and kissed her fingertips. [Notify me when Rachel Marcel is in mortal danger.] I cast the spell so she wouldn't notice. Ideally, I would have used a broader protection spell, but with my current abilities, this was the most precise I could manage. I hoped the spell would never be triggered, but I left it as a charm.
She likely thought it was just a verbal promise. "I might be scared when Mother scolds me. Maybe you can help me then," she said with a slightly awkward smile. I never forgot that promise. Even after that day became the last time we saw each other for years. Even when we met again and she was the fiancée of my friend Louis, and she didn't remember me at all.
I thought it was for the best. Louis lacked certain emotional depths, but I knew he would be drawn to Rachel's straightforward strength. And Rachel would surely be attracted to Louis's unwavering resolve to protect what he held dear. Still, being near her as only her fiancé's friend was painful. I tried to ignore it, but I was aware of how often I was captivated by glimpses of her childhood self or her newfound maturity. I couldn't help but wish I could have been the one to stay by her side.
So I built a wall and kept my distance. I couldn't allow myself to be drawn to 'Rachel-jou.' I locked my feelings for 'Rachel' away in a box and told myself I would be happy just watching the two of them. But then she suffered from mana depletion, contracted with a Spirit of Darkness, and I saw new sides of her. Every time I witnessed her unchanging smile and strength, my heart wavered.
I could never tell Louis this. He is far too narrow-minded when it comes to her. His jealousy was truly something to behold. And since I valued our friendship, I wanted to avoid any unnecessary friction. I cared for her deeply, but I cared for Louis as well. My wish for their happiness was sincere.
"Good grief, she always finds a way to surprise me." I had thought it was fine if she never remembered. And yet, earlier, I had felt a flicker of hope. I poured the rest of the wine into my glass and drank it down in one go. I stood up and stretched. The stars were still twinkling as beautifully as when I arrived. I realized I would always be captivated by that brilliance. "Well, time for bed." I left the room and quietly returned to my own chamber, feeling a slight hum from the wine.
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The Spirit King's past was briefly mentioned. Theodore's perspective will continue.