Chapter 148 - 2‐30
To calm my heart, I wandered aimlessly near the Temple, letting my feet take me where they wished. I eventually stopped atop a hill. This spot overlooked the lake, which usually sparkled under the sunlight. Now, however, it was as dark as the night itself—quiet and still, with only the sound of the wind rustling the grass and flowers.
"I've walked quite far, haven't I?"
Looking back at the path I had taken, the lights of the Temple were visible in the distance.
"Sigh..."
My sigh was carried away by the wind, vanishing into the silence. Being here made me lose track of what was real. Louis-sama, who had been right before my eyes just moments ago... and more than anything, the conversation we had shared.
In fact, the days since I arrived here felt like a dream. I looked up to bolster my sinking spirits and saw a beautiful full moon floating in the sky. The star-filled expanse reminded me of the Room of Space-Time, yet the presence of the moon made it feel like something else entirely.
"I'm glad it's a beautiful moonlit night."
I lost track of time as I stared at the majestic moon. The moon, the lake, and the earth—their constant, rich beauty helped me forget my suffocation. I took several deep breaths, filling my lungs with the cool night air until my head felt clear. The Spirit Land was always peaceful and pleasant, but perhaps because it was night, I felt a slight chill. Having left my room without a wrap, I shivered slightly.
I should probably head back.
Rubbing my arms to warm my chilled body, I slowly retraced my steps. I finally reached the Temple's annex and saw my room. However, I stopped just as I was about to enter. Before the day ended, I wanted to see Louis-sama's face one more time, so I turned back.
But the moment I reached for the doorknob, my hand froze. I had intended to knock and announce myself as usual, but the conversation from the Room of Space-Time came back to haunt me.
If Louis-sama were to wake up now, which Louis-sama would he be?
Right now, Louis-sama was in my original world. That meant the Louis-sama here must be... The thought made my hand tremble on the doorknob.
"Aren't you going to open it?"
"Eek!"
A voice suddenly sounded in my ear without warning, forcing a small scream from my throat.
"Ah, my apologies. Did I startle you?"
I let go of the door and turned around. Nel-sama stood there, scratching his head awkwardly with his gaze lowered.
"Nel-sama... what brings you here so suddenly?"
"You didn't return to your room and kept wandering around. You walked off alone to a distant place and only just got back, only to stand frozen in front of this door. Honestly, you're slow."
Nel-sama furrowed his brow and placed his hands on his hips, pouting to show his irritation.
"Were you... worried about me?"
"Me? Worried? About you?"
Nel-sama blinked in surprise at my words. He tilted his head, muttering "Worried? Worried..." as if confirming the concept to himself.
"Was I worried about you just now?"
"Oh, well, it felt that way to me. If I was mistaken, I apologize."
"...No. I've never 'worried' before, so I don't really know."
"You've never worried?"
"Never. Of course, I know the word. To be anxious about the future of something, to trouble one's heart. To care for and look after someone. That is what worry means, yes?"
"Y-yes."
Nel-sama spoke as if reading a dictionary definition. When I nodded, he gave a satisfied smile.
"Anyway, why did you think I would go out of my way to worry about you?"
"Well, I thought you might have been watching over me. You mentioned I was late returning. It felt as though you were waiting for me to get back to my room after leaving the Room of Space-Time... was I wrong?"
We had a disagreement earlier in the day. Yet, Nel-sama had acted as if nothing happened afterward and led me to the Room of Space-Time. Thanks to that, I was able to see Louis-sama and finally understand my current situation. From his tone, it seemed he had been watching my actions from somewhere. Perhaps he did it unconsciously, or perhaps it was just another form of amusement for him.
"Or was there something else that caught your interest?"
I assumed Nel-sama's actions were always driven by whether something was interesting, a way to kill boredom, or a source of curiosity. Yet, I thought I saw a glimmer of concern in his expression as he looked at me.
"Interest? Observing out of interest... that's what it should be... right?"
My words seemed to confuse Nel-sama greatly, as he spoke with uncharacteristic hesitation. I had never seen him look so flustered, his gaze darting around.
"Your actions interest me. They are so full of waste, yet you still struggle."
"Yes, I suppose it's only natural you feel that way."
Nel-sama had long been interested in humans, wondering why they worked so hard at useless things. To a Spirit King, I must look like I'm making many redundant efforts and taking the long way around. I couldn't deny it. I understood that things would be much easier if I could proceed more rationally.
Even so, no matter how many times I fall, I want to stand up on my own two feet—even if it looks ridiculous to others.
"It is also thanks to you, Nel-sama. I know how happy I am now. I know I've been given a chance and a place to work hard. And I know I have people who are precious to me."
"Thanks to me?"
"Yes. That is why I want to think for myself and stand firmly on my own in this life."
I never want to be the kind of person I was before—someone who just accepted everything given to them, following what others said without understanding the difference between right and wrong, and hurting people.
"Besides, I've gradually come to like my current self."
Ever since I traveled back in time, I had known my own ugliness and hated myself for it. But now, there are people watching over me. There are things I want to protect. That is why I was able to change.
"Thank you for giving me the time to look at my failures, the chance to notice what is precious, and above all, the opportunity to change... truly, thank you."