Chapter 21 - The Decision to Return
His Highness watched me intently, his gaze lingering as if searching for the words I was about to speak. There was a warmth in his gentle eyes, a kindness that suggested he would accept whatever I had to say.
Encouraged by his demeanor, I steeled my resolve and looked him straight in the eye. I took a breath and spoke.
"I am thinking of returning to our territory."
♢
A few days prior...
Having regained much of my strength and ability to walk, I decided to join my family in the dining hall for dinner. When I opened the doors, my mother was already seated. Her face brightened with joy the moment she realized I had walked there on my own.
"Rachel, you were able to come to the dining hall today!"
"Yes, Mother."
"I cannot thank the spirits and Viscount Frion enough. To think you would be walking like this again!"
"Hehe, I am very grateful to Kuro and Theodore-sama as well."
"I cannot see the spirits myself, but I must offer my prayers and gratitude to them every day."
Mother pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes, which were shimmering with tears. I could only imagine how many tears she had shed for me during my illness. The thought made my chest tighten with a mix of guilt and profound love. My own eyes grew hot at the depth of her affection.
The door creaked open behind me, and my father stepped into the room. Seeing the two of us, he smiled and gave a slow, approving nod.
"Rachel, it brings me such joy to share a meal with you."
"Welcome home, Father. You must be tired from work."
"Nonsense. Seeing your face makes all my fatigue vanish."
Father approached and pulled me into a gentle embrace against his broad chest. After a moment, he escorted me to my seat, pulling out the chair with practiced grace.
"Now, let us eat."
Since receiving the wheelchair, I had been eating breakfast and lunch in the dining hall. However, by evening, exhaustion usually forced me to remain in my room, meaning I had been dining alone. This family gathering felt like a long-awaited miracle.
The three of us, sitting together and laughing over a meal... it was something I had taken for granted in my previous life, before my mana had been depleted. I had a father who cherished me and a mother who loved me, yet I hadn't truly valued any of it. That lack of appreciation was exactly why I had caused them so much grief.
But now, my family was here. Their presence wrapped around me like a warm, protective cloak.
"I hear Viscount Frion has been visiting every day," Father remarked.
"Yes. Theodore-sama has been assisting me so that Kuro and I can properly synchronize our mana. Since I had lost my own mana entirely, it would have been difficult to bond with a spirit on my own, even after forming a contract."
"I see. I, too, once thought having mana was simply a given. But your situation has forced me to reconsider many things."
"Indeed."
My high mana capacity was an inheritance from my father. He possessed great power himself and, like the old me, was contracted to a mid-ranking water spirit. It rarely showed itself, but it took the form of a dignified horse with wings.
Generally, low and mid-ranking spirits manifested as animals. High-ranking spirits, however, appeared as human children and were capable of speech. There were likely fewer than ten people in the entire kingdom contracted to such powerful entities.
As for the Spirit Kings, they were said to take the form of adult humans. I say "said to" because they were now known only through ancient texts. In the paintings hung within the royal palace, they were depicted as figures draped in divine, beautiful light.
Father set down his knife and fork, his expression clouding with a touch of bitterness.
"The Spirit of Darkness... right. I reported the matter to His Majesty, but for the time being, we have decided to postpone any public announcement."
"I see."
"We believe it is best to wait for a judgment from the Holy Church first."
Ah, as I thought.
I wasn't surprised. I had predicted this outcome to some extent.
The Holy Church was the state religion, worshipping the Spirit King of Light as their god. It was said to have been founded by the Saint who was close to the kingdom's progenitor. Consequently, any Saint blessed by the Spirit King of Light was traditionally taken into the Church's care for a time.
The discovery of a Spirit of Darkness was a monumental event for the Holy Church, given their ancient ties to spiritual matters. The Church held significant influence and the deep devotion of the populace; the King could not simply ignore them. By allowing the Church to lead the announcement, His Majesty likely hoped to avoid any unnecessary friction between the crown and the clergy.
Father sighed deeply and took a sip of his wine. He seemed to be choosing his next words carefully.
"And... regarding your engagement to His Highness."
"Yes?"
"It seems His Majesty intended to leave the decision to the Prince. He mentioned that if the engagement were to be dissolved, the royal family would take full responsibility for finding you a suitable match elsewhere."
So that was it. I had wondered why His Majesty hadn't ordered the dissolution immediately, especially since Father and I had discussed it the moment my mana depletion became clear. The silence from the palace was because the King was honoring the Prince's wishes. But why?
The role of the Crown Princess was vital to the kingdom. Regardless of my personal feelings, I couldn't see how staying in this position was best for the country.
"However, the situation has changed. The Spirit of Darkness... we don't know what its existence implies, or how the people will react."
"I suppose so. I did some research, but the records are empty. In stories, light is always the hero, while darkness is either the villain or a mere shadow supporting the light."
"Yes, we are in the dark, so to speak. But the spirit exists. That is why His Majesty is hesitating on how to proceed with the engagement."
Without knowing the nature of the Spirit of Darkness, it was impossible to tell if it would be an asset to the kingdom. Spirits of water, fire, and earth were straightforward; they controlled their respective elements. But light and darkness were shrouded in mystery.
Light was an object of worship, yet distant. Darkness was a myth, a phantom that people had ceased to believe in. Yet here I was, possessing dark mana through Kuro—even if I couldn't use it yet. It was Kuro who had given me the strength to walk again.
I truly owe Kuro everything...
But this time, I refused to walk the wrong path. I had decided to tell my parents my true feelings and my resolve tonight. I knew they would listen. I straightened my posture and looked from my father to my mother.
"Father, Mother... there is something I wish to discuss."
"Go on," Father said.
"What is it, Rachel?" Mother asked gently.
"Until now, I never thought about what I could do or what I should do. I simply walked the path laid out for me without a second thought. But after losing my mana... I realized I regretted never using my abilities for a greater purpose or for the sake of others."
"...I see."
Father listened intently, while Mother nodded with a serene expression.
"I don't want to have those regrets again. I want to find out what I am capable of."
"And how do you intend to do that?"
I hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words.
"I don't have a specific plan yet. My world has been so small. I want to see the world outside first, and perhaps find something I can achieve with my own two hands."
I wanted to move. I wanted to find something. Anything. Despite my lack of a clear vision, Mother smiled and nodded.
"I understand. In that case, why don't you return to the territory with me?"
"To the territory?"
"Yes. In the capital, you are famous as the Crown Prince's fiancée. Moreover, you are officially on leave from the academy to recuperate from illness. What could you possibly achieve here in such a state?"
"...You're right."
She was correct. Now that my health was stabilizing, I should technically return to the academy. Neither of my parents knew that I had technically died once already. But I lacked the courage to go back there yet. The academy held the people who were once my friends—and the Saint. I knew I had to face them eventually to move forward, but I wasn't ready to take that step. Not yet.
Seeing my hesitation, Mother's smile widened, and I felt the tension leave my body. I waited for her to continue.
"The territory is different. Unlike the capital, the Marcel Territory is a coastal region. You haven't left the capital since you were a small child, so the locals won't recognize your face. It will surely offer you the freedom to expand your world far more than you can here."
"Mother... thank you. Father, would that be acceptable?"
Father, who had been a silent observer until now, gave a firm nod.
"Very well. But do not push yourself. And make sure you speak with His Highness properly about this."
"I will."
Father had assessed the situation calmly, and Mother had provided the solution. My parents truly were irreplaceable. I vowed never to betray their kindness again. I tucked the warmth they gave me deep into my heart, a small light to guide me.
The atmosphere of the dinner shifted instantly, becoming a lively, cheerful affair filled with laughter.