480 - Awareness and Blooming
...They certainly come often.
I had heard that Bertrand would be staying in the city of Grenore for a while, but I didn't think he would visit the lord's manor almost every day. Unfortunately, I have no reason to turn him away, nor do I have prior appointments, so I end up entertaining him, but doing this day after day is exhausting. Leonardo, who had completely returned to his professional self once I settled down, seemed to sense something in this as well. Leonardo, who normally wouldn't return home until night, showed his face today to coincide with my break time. Since Bertrand appears as if he's targeting my break time, it feels like those nostalgic three-party parent-teacher conferences from my previous life. In this case, the visitor isn't a teacher, but someone who is technically my relative.
"Is Leonardo with you today as well?"
"I heard you have been entertaining Tina day after day, so I thought I would express my gratitude."
I felt the accent on "day after day" coming from Leonardo's mouth was a bit strange. I'm sure it's not my imagination. While he asks me if I want to return to Bertrand's house, he's likely warning him that he won't allow Bertrand to take me away regardless of my will.
"Since you are both here, it's perfect. ...I was thinking of asking what you intend to do soon."
"What?"
Leonardo and I looked at each other and tilted our heads, wondering if he had business with both of us after all. I had no recollection of being asked "what I intend to do" by Bertrand again.
"...I have no intention of becoming a child of Bertrand-sama's house, you know?"
"No, that's already fine. You seem to be spending your time healthily, and you'll be at an age to marry soon after I take you in."
"Is that so...?"
My head filled with question marks, wondering if his attitude had softened a bit. In the customs of this world, girls were considered more desirable as heirs. I had been on guard, thinking he intended to take me in and install me as the heir, but it seems Bertrand's thinking has changed.
...Well, as far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm not separated from Leonardo-san, that's fine.
What, he's softened quite a bit, maybe we can get along. Just as I started thinking I should treat him a bit more kindly from now on, Bertrand's business was presented. Since I'm around the right age, he asked if I've thought about marriage.
"Since you are cousins with Aristalf, if you marry Aristalf and return to the house..."
"I refuse."
In the end, it's that. I cursed Bertrand only in my heart, thinking I'd been slightly swayed. He just changed his approach, but the content is always the same. He's telling me to come back home.
"Is that all your business? If so..."
"No, wait. There's more. There's a limit to how short-tempered one can be."
"I believe I have said many times that I will not leave Leonardo-oniisama."
"Then, you should just become Leonardo's wife."
"...Eh?"
Right after saying I should become Aristalf's wife, Bertrand now says I should become Leonardo's wife. This means his goal isn't to bring me back to the house, but rather the "you're at the right age, so hurry up and marry" attack that also existed in my previous life. Certainly, if it's just actual age, I'm at the right age now.
...Even though I look like a girl (child) who has finally entered her growth spurt!
It seems Bertrand has given up on taking me back as a grandchild, but has started to interfere in various ways as a grandfather. Honestly, I want to shout back and tell him to leave my marriage problems alone.
...Patience, patience. A lady does not shout easily.
Recalling the behavior of a lady that I've completely forgotten lately, I tighten my stomach. It's precisely because I've been acting on my emotions that the treatment of me as a child by those around me (Leonardo) hasn't improved.
"...That being the case, Leonardo-oniisama, would you take me as your wife?"
"I told you before, if Tina becomes an adult and still tells me she wants to be my wife, then I will, right?"
"Physically, I am an adult."
When I implicitly informed him that functionally my body can bear children, I was admonished that from his perspective, I'm still a child. For Leonardo, I'm still a child, so my claim cannot be accepted. In the first place, can he look at a younger sister with eyes that see a woman?
...Isn't he planning to call me a child for the rest of my life?
From Leonardo's perspective, I, who am thirteen years younger, must look like a child even if I've turned sixteen. This age gap will never shrink for a lifetime. I don't know up to what age difference Leonardo's range goes, but a difference of thirteen years is probably large.
"I think if we get married or engaged soon, the noisy person will shut up."
When I continued, saying that mainly Bertrand should shut up, Leonardo shrugged, asking if I'd marry for such a reason. Leonardo, who still seems unable to forget his first love, seems to want to resist me choosing marriage for the reason of not wanting to be poked noisily.
"Isn't it fine? Neither of us has a partner anyway, and there is no one else for us besides each other."
Since I live a life where I basically don't leave the manor, the possibility of me falling in love as Leonardo desires is low. As a prerequisite, there are no encounters with the opposite sex. The only opposite sex I can barely have contact with are the Black Knights of the fortress, but many of them are older than Leonardo. If the age gap between Leonardo and me is too wide, the conditions are the same for other Black Knights. Very rarely, Black Knights younger than Leonardo join, but even then, they are closer to Leonardo's age than mine. I simply had no encounters with opposite-sex individuals of a matching age.
...Well, the biggest reason is that I'm not intentionally seeking encounters.
Whether I'm withered or my inside is truly still a child, I can't hold a special interest in the opposite sex. Even regarding marriage, I haven't thought about it, nor have I panicked as much as Bertrand says. Things will just happen as they happen, and in the first place, I can't even imagine a partner I'd want to be with even if it meant leaving Leonardo.
"I want Tina to be happy with someone she loves."
"I love Leonardo-oniisama, you know? Do you dislike me, Leonardo-oniisama?"
"Of course I love you. I love you very much. ...But that's a different 'love' from this."
Beside Leonardo, who held his head wondering how to make me understand, I listed the advantages of marrying me. Since we know each other's good and bad points thoroughly, there's no risk of becoming disillusioned now. For the same reason, we are comfortable partners for each other. There would be no case of me marrying elsewhere and leaving Leonardo. Between the child of a sister who married away and the child of one's own wife, one should be overwhelmingly able to dote more on the child of one's own wife. This depends on preference, but if you make me your wife, the hero Bertrand, who is popular with boys, becomes your father-in-law. I don't know if Leonardo wants it, but if we marry after returning to Bertrand's house, it's certain that he'll become a Baron of Loyalty without having to worry about achievements up to the grandchild's generation.
Thinking that there must be other advantages, I suddenly realized.
...In the end, no matter what excuses I look for, it's just that 'I want Leonardo-san'.
This might be what Leonardo means by 'love as the opposite sex'. I think it's for the sake of my happiness, but it's a selfish emotion that ignores Leonardo's restraint. If compared to anyone else, I would definitely choose Leonardo. Even without comparing, I say I want Leonardo. I want Leonardo to feel the same. I'd be happy if that were the case.
However, inside Leonardo, there was actually one special person who wasn't me.
I don't mind being second or third to his work. Leonardo's work is important work that affects the lives of many people, so I understand it's natural to put me aside. But if a woman were actually sandwiched between his work and me, that's a different story. Even if I'm behind his work, King Christoph, or Prince Alfred, I want to be in the first position at least within the general person category. Unless it's someone unavoidable for work, I'd hate it if I weren't the number one for Leonardo.
...Saying I wouldn't spare any cooperation was a lie.
Recalling the words I told Leonardo the other day, I felt disgusted by my own overly selfish thinking. I told Leonardo, "If you have someone you love, I won't spare any cooperation" and "I'm a sister who thinks of her brother," but now that I'm aware, I can't do that. I can't imagine Leonardo valuing someone other than me more than me, and that wouldn't be interesting.
Realizing that this selfish emotion is love, I closed my mouth, which had been rattling off advantages. I suddenly became afraid. What if I'm rejected even after listing this many advantages?
...Diet was amazing, wasn't he.
Belatedly, I re-evaluated Dietfried. I didn't think that conveying one's feelings to the other and proposing would require this much courage. I didn't give a proper answer to Dietfried, who proposed to me. First, I made fun of his headgear, and to Dietfried, who took off the cat-head gear and proposed again, I brushed him off saying "I want someone stronger than Leonardo," and to Dietfried, who bit back saying "I'll become stronger than Leonardo," I crushed him by saying "Even if he's weaker than Dietfried, Leonardo is better." As a finishing blow, I earnestly told him about my brother-complex for Leonardo on the spot, and Dietfried, perhaps unable to bear it, ran away from the scene.
Once I became aware of the emotion of love, my past actions were too cruel. I don't have the courage to convey my feelings many times even if I'm rejected or treated coldly. Even now, I'm tightening my cheeks so it doesn't show on my face and pretending to be calm, but my throat is very dry.
Now that I'm aware, I can no longer say arrogant things like "I love Leonardo" or "Doesn't Leonardo love me" as I could until a moment ago. Yes, arrogant. Certainly, I was a terrifyingly arrogant person.
"...If you say I'm a child, let's just get engaged to put Bertrand-sama at ease, and marry when I turn twenty."
Four years until twenty, and since I'll be seventeen when summer comes, there are three years. With that much time, the translation work of Saint Yuta Hiraga's research materials should be finished. Once the translation work is over, there should be no more need for me, who can read Japanese. If that happens, there should be no one who complains about me marrying and having children.
"I think in another three years, my chest and hips will probably grow a bit more."
When I added, asking how that sounds, Leonardo gave a wry smile. He said that even if my chest and hips grew, he still has resistance to making his sister his wife. It's an inflexible, Leonardo-like answer.
"...I understand. In short, it'll be fine once Leonardo-oniisama can look at me with eyes that see a woman rather than a sister."
This is a gentle refusal. I understood that, but I've just realized 'I am an arrogant and selfish person' and re-evaluated Dietfried's courage. I think I'll try to resist a bit more against Leonardo, who says the perfectly reasonable thing that he cannot see his sister as a woman. Squeezing out my meager courage.
"...Let's start with the form. From now on, I won't call you 'Oniisama'. I'll call you 'Leonardo-san'... no, for a lady, it's 'Leonardo-sama'. Since I'll call you that, Leonardo-sama, please graduate from your brotherly feelings too."
"Wait, why does it become that? Not being called 'Oniisama' by my sister, what kind of torture is that?"
"Regarding that, it was something I added as a service to Leonardo-sama from the start, so in my heart, it was always 'Leonardo-san'. It's too late for that now."
At my blunt revelation, Leonardo's eyes went blank. He probably never imagined that until now, in my heart, I'd been calling him 'Leonardo-san' without 'Oniisama'.
Along with the awareness that I'm speaking a bit fast, I noticed one more thing. I've changed how I call Leonardo to 'Leonardo-san', 'Leo', and 'Leonardo-oniisama', but in my heart, I've always called him 'Leonardo-san'. I thought of Leonardo as 'family', but in my true heart, I might not have thought of him as a brother. Perhaps I saw him as a suitable opposite-sex individual from the start. If I was conscious of Leonardo from the beginning, there's no way my eyes would wander to other boys of the same age. Between Leonardo, who is completed as an adult male, and a boy in the middle of growing, it's not even a contest.
"Leonardo-sama, please call me 'Christina'. Then, I might look a bit different from the 'sister Tina' you raised for eight years."
"...The one who told me not to call you 'Christina' was you, Tina."
Somehow recovering from the revelation that "calling you Oniisama is a service," Leonardo shook his head slowly. He's aware that the time has come to start treating his sister as an adult, but being told to treat his sister as a woman still brings resistance.
"I certainly said that, but I think the reason Leonardo-sama continues to treat me as a child is also because of the nickname."
I swallow my true feeling that Leonardo is mine. Since I've spent more time with him than his first love, even if his first love is found now, I have no intention of handing Leonardo over.
I'm being swung around by my own emotions, which flipped completely along with the awareness of love. My reason is pleading that I must stop somewhere, but I've mistaken the brake for the accelerator and am at full throttle. Now, I just have to hit and break. Even if I break, I can just cry and scream to trouble Leonardo. I've always had a preference, which I think is questionable even for myself, for Leonardo's slightly troubled face. I'll just woo him as many times as it takes until Leonardo is swayed and nods his head.
The change in my emotions seems to have given some change to Enomena's pot as well. The Enomena flower, which hadn't bloomed for over a year, began to show change along with my awareness of love.
Until last night, there were certainly only leaves, but the next morning, a stem with a bud as large as Leonardo's fist appeared, and when the sun set, it slowly opened its petals while bathing in the moonlight.
In the center of the large red Enomena flower, a small girl was sleeping.
Typos and omissions will be handled at a later date.
And so, this concludes the story of the reincarnated girl Tina. Anything beyond this would inevitably involve romance... I don't feel like I can write it, or rather, I'm not interested, and if I wanted to read a romance novel, I'd just read a romance novel. Also, continuing further would only make Tina's role as the protagonist feel like a predetermined outcome or a formality. Leonardo, who is soft on Tina, would probably just be pushed around anyway. Or rather, given the current situation where engagement is doubtful due to Leonardo's resistance, in the oldest plot, they were scheduled to be married by the end of chapter 13. Because Leonardo, the mirror of siscons, resisted marrying Tina, it deviated a bit from the plan.
From next time, it will be the final chapter. The protagonists will be Christina and Leonardo. I plan to wrap up the plot threads expanded up to this point.
I planned to take a month's break before the final chapter to check for forgotten flags and typos, but since my schedule has been a mess since January and the update pace has dropped, I'll just push forward as is.