30 - Chapter 26: The Three Idiots and the Intruding Saint
The fact that Bokusatsu Tenshi Docca-chan is already 20 years old. I am an old man shuddering at the realization that I definitely read the original back in high school.
The next morning. After welcoming Latia and Kazuha, the Serious Breakers party left the elf village and set off for Mount Niyakando, when things suddenly became noisy in the rear.
The party tilted their heads as they spotted a figure sprinting toward them, kicking up clouds of dust and screaming something, and they approached close enough for the meaning of the scream to become clear.
"Big--- Sister---!!"
"Gueh!? Lilitia!!"
The party dodged at the last second as a girl in priestess robes---Lilitia, carrying a massive mace on her back and her long blue hair tied in twin tails fluttering wildly, charged at them.
"Why did you dodge, Big Sister!! Accept my love!!"
Marianne screamed while fleeing from Lilitia, who skidded to a halt and charged again.
"Why are you here!?"
"I followed Big Sister's scent♡"
"Are you a puppy---!"
"If you wish, I can be a dog, a cat, or even a slut---!!"
Geoglyph and Later entered a state of observation, ignoring their own shortcomings as they thought, Wow, another intense one has appeared, but Marianne was not about to allow such an escape.
"Kuh! You bastards, don't just commit to being background characters...!"
She quickly dodged Lilitia's charge and circled around behind the two idiots.
"---Bad Friend Barrier!!"
She pushed their backs, thrusting them toward Lilitia.
"Wait! Hold on...!!"
"Out of the way! Men who cling to Big Sister can die!!"
The heart marks in her eyes changed to eyes without highlights, and Lilitia pulled out the giant Battle Mace from her back and swung it toward the two idiots.
"!!"
Faster than they could recognize the attack, Later transformed the Holy Scripture into a greatsword and blocked it with the flat of the blade. However.
"Th-this girl...!"
At a weight that matched the echoing sound of the impact, Later's feet sank. It was only a few centimeters, but the shock of the blow sent cracks running through the dry earth.
"Oh, nice one, Ray."
"Don't just be impressed, lend a hand, Teacher! This Bokusatsu Saint has some weird buff on her!"
"A blood-stained mace... some loves are truly unpleasant. ---Decode!"
"Guh!"
As Geoglyph activated his magic, iron chains appeared from the void and the ground, winding around and restraining Lilitia's arms and legs.
"Phew... I would have died if I hadn't instinctively reinforced my body with magic, hey."
"Hmm... She's evolving steadily. Since she's originally a Saint, the future is scary."
She hasn't reached the level of a crazy psycho-lesbian yet, and while there are glimpses, she hasn't become a Yandere-lla either. At most, she's within the range of a yuri-pig who hates men. And yet, she's like this. Thinking about where she'll go from here makes him depressed.
As Geoglyph calculated several factors, thinking it would be best to set a path for her, he noticed one idiot trying to sneak away with stealthy steps at the edge of his vision.
"Hey you, don't run away, yuri-pig. You used people as decoys."
"You sowed the seeds yourself, so consider it time to pay your dues and handle this yourself."
"N-no, I refuse, I refuse! I want to remain a butterfly fluttering through a field of yuri!!"
However, Later did not let her get away, grabbing her by the scruff of the neck as Marianne flailed and spoke with stubborn persistence. Was that a mistake?
"Don't touch Big Sister so casually...!"
"Eh?"
A vortex of enormous magic was released from Lilitia, and she broke free from Geoglyph's binding chain magic. No, that's not it. Instead of blowing it away or destroying it, she used magic to crush the bones in her own limbs and escaped through the loosened gaps.
Naturally, doing such a thing made it difficult for her to even stand, but.
"Haa... haa... haa... O Great Light God, grant this one your merciful light... Fourth Recovery Formula, Exceed Heal."
Using recovery magic that could be called the true essence of a Saint, she recovered instantly. The light that rained down on her restored Lilitia's crushed limbs as if rewinding time.
Then, she picked up the giant mace she had dropped and glared at Geoglyph and Later.
"Big Sister... I will save you from these unsightly men right now!!"
"She's too much of a berserker...!"
The Three Idiots trembled at the Saint who made a real-life zombie attack possible.
"What do we do, Teacher! Should we just kill her!?"
"No, that would be a pain later, right!? That girl is a relative of the Herbert family, even if she's adopted!?"
"Also, if we kill a Saint, the Church will retaliate! I really don't want to be the enemy of the world, let alone a wanted criminal!!"
"Then what do we do!? She's not an opponent we can hold back against much!!"
"Bugs that cling to Big Sister, dieeee---!"
The Three Idiots scrambled to escape from Lilitia, who swung the lump of iron around, creating a storm. But in the midst of this, Geoglyph had an inspiration.
"---Alright, it's set. First, I'll play one card...!"
What he should use was one of his trump cards.
"Stack---Decode."
Simultaneous with the chant, iron chains bound Lilitia's limbs once again.
"! Something like this...! ---!?"
Thinking it was the same trick, she tried to crush her own limbs with magic again---but just before that, her magic vanished.
"The original Bind magic is the Ninth Magic Formula, but I've tweaked it a bit. The output itself is no different from the Second Magic Formula. Even if you amplify your physical abilities a little, you can't break it with a human body. Don't think a slip of a girl can escape my hand."
Geoglyph, flipping his cloak with a flourish and covering half his face with one hand, wore a cynical smile.
One of his trump cards was Stack, which paired with Stock. By layering several spells during the activation of one, he could enhance its power or distort the effect to make it a separate spell. The theory itself originally existed in this world as a magic formula performed by multiple people---so-called Union magic.
However, the activation of Union magic required simultaneous activation with severe timing, and since the users were mostly twins or people who had been together for many years, it was not a practical technique.
That is where Stock becomes useful. This involves compressing magic just before activation and storing it in storage magic in a standby state, then activating it at any desired timing. Yes, since it can be triggered at any desired timing, activating multiple spells simultaneously is a piece of cake. In short, it is single-person Union magic.
By combining Bind magic with Bind magic, Geoglyph had added a secondary effect of absorbing the target's magic. Moreover, it seemed that the more it absorbed, the stronger and longer it would last.
"Ah! You're like another version of yourself right now, right!? Geo!"
"The Ninth Magic Formula down to the output of the Second Magic Formula...? How did you do that with that shortened chant...?"
Latia and Kazuha, who had been left behind by the rapidly developing situation, spoke up one after another, but the Three Idiots didn't have the mental capacity to worry about that.
"Now then. In this world, it's a given that idiots who misbehave get a hundred slaps on the backside---"
"Hii...!"
Later transformed the Holy Scripture into a harisen and swung it, making a satisfying slap sound. Since Lilitia was originally a commoner, she might have experience with the hundred slaps, as she shrank her neck.
"Wait, Ray."
"Huh? What is it, Teacher. We need to settle this, right?"
"Before that, I think we should have a discussion. Come here."
Geoglyph took Later and Lilitia away from Marianne and said this.
"---You like Marie, don't you?"
"That's right! Big Sister is not for the likes of you...!"
"That's where you're mistaken. We are just party members, comrades, and friends with Marie, not that kind of relationship."
"If anything, we're bad friends."
"Liar!"
"Your basis?"
"Eh...?"
"Your basis, I mean. Where is the basis for the idea that we like Marie as a woman?"
Under Geoglyph's interrogation, Lilitia struggled for words.
"T-that's because Big Sister Marie is beautiful, kind---and a charming woman, isn't she!? If you're in the same party...!"
"Then do I or Ray look charming to you?"
"As if! Men are crude, smelly, rugged, and don't have a shred of beauty!"
"Similarly, we don't look at Marie with those eyes. No, we can't look at her that way."
He didn't say that the inside of that thing is a man, for the sake of Marianne's honor. However, perhaps it wasn't conveyed well, as Lilitia looked confused while her cheeks turned red.
"What...? In other words... um... are you two... in that kind of relationship...?"
"No."
Geoglyph and Later denied it instantly, sighing deeply at the thought that this girl might even have fujoshi tendencies, making her karma too deep.
Having no choice, he decided to reveal his own sexual preferences.
"I like fluffy beastmen. Specifically, those kinds of things."
"I like romantic demi-humans. Specifically, those kinds of things."
Later pointed at Kazuha the beastman, and Geoglyph pointed at Latia the elf, and then.
"Therefore, Marie the princess and this one are out of the question."
After pointing at Marianne and each other, he crossed his hands to make an X.
"I-I see... there are various tastes, I guess..."
It seemed the misunderstanding was finally cleared after that, and Geoglyph released Lilitia's restraints. He began persuading her once more.
"Anyway, we have no intention of interfering with your path of love. Depending on your attitude, we might even help you. Do you understand that?"
"Y-yeah..."
"And? Since you attacked us based on a misunderstanding without even investigating properly, there's something that must be said first, right?"
"I-I'm sorry..."
"Hmph. Well, as long as you understand that, it's fine. However, if something similar happens in the future..."
"Hii!"
Geoglyph gave a wry smile as Later threatened her again with the slap of the harisen, and he straightened his posture.
"Yes, yes. That's enough discipline and ranking. ---Now, the main topic starts here."
Yes. A plan to save this girl who was becoming a crazy psycho-lesbian, and to ensure she didn't cause them any harm.
Namely---.
"You, make a contract with us and join our members, the Serious Breakers."
Education through incorporation.
Or, as one might say, selling out Marianne as a sacrifice.
To be continued tomorrow.