37 - Chapter 33: The Three Idiots are Heading Home, Apparently
Since I'm about to wrap up the story for now, Serious-san will get to work.
A luxurious black carriage traveled slowly along a highway illuminated by the gentle sunlight. It was the carriage of the Three Idiots. Naturally, pulling it was the same shadow horse as always, one that looked like it belonged in a draft horse race, Marianne's familiar.
Having finished a journey that felt halfway like a pleasure trip, the Three Idiots were heading toward the Imperial Capital, now accompanied by Latia, Kazuha, and Lilitia. Later, sitting on the driver's seat as usual, spoke to Kazuha, who sat beside him.
"But are you sure about this?"
"About what?"
"I mean, you and Latia. Becoming adventurers and joining the Serious Breakers."
Having enjoyed the hot springs and feasted on rice, the Three Idiots decided to return to the Imperial Capital for the time being. Thanks to the income from the earth dragon commotion, their finances weren't exactly tight, but they felt that it was about time they started working again. Perhaps the corporate slave mentality of Japan, which has no habit of taking vacations, had not yet fully left them.
For that reason, when they told the three of them they were returning, Lilitia naturally said she would come along. Well, her home was in the Imperial Capital, so that was only natural. The problem was Latia and Kazuha. They had also declared that they wanted to become adventurers and join the Serious Breakers.
From the Three Idiots' perspective, this was a welcome development, but in their understanding, adventurers basically lived like day laborers. They lacked stability, and because their bodies were their capital, many were hot-tempered. Also, since it was physical labor, there were very few women. It wasn't that there were no female adventurers, but at most, they made up a bit over twenty percent. Moreover, most of them were formidable women who had weathered rough seas. They knew how to handle men with ulterior motives even before becoming adventurers, and it was precisely because they had the eye to see through such things that they could survive in a male-dominated workplace.
The Three Idiots wondered if their parents would allow them to dive into such a slightly dangerous environment.
However, Latia had easily obtained permission, and Kazuha, after spending a night discussing it with Kureha and Sakura at the beastfolk village they stopped by on the way back, decided to accompany them.
"Was I... a nuisance?"
As Kazuha's tail drooped and her ears flopped, Later shook his head.
"No, it's not that, but you both have your own positions, right?"
"I'm not the successor. My big brother, who is currently traveling to broaden his horizons, is the next village chief, and there are other liaisons for external communications."
In the carriage, Latia shrugged.
"I, I also, um, was told by Kureha-sama to go and broaden my horizons?"
Kazuha followed, but her eyes were wandering, her voice was high, and her tail was held perfectly still. Seeing this, the group in the carriage judged as follows.
(That's a lie, for sure...) (That is a lie) (Kazuha can't lie, can she) (That's a lie, definitely)
It was a lie.
In reality, a kinship struggle had almost broken out over Later. Sakura had thrown a tantrum, insisting she would come too, and Kureha, who had been brainwashed... or rather, won over by brushing, stamped her feet like a young girl, mixed in with actual young girls, claiming it was unfair to sneak away, an estimated 1500 years old or more. As a result of a family meeting that could not be shown to outsiders, Kazuha was permitted to accompany the Serious Breakers on the condition that she carried a certain mission.
Namely, she was told to make Later her husband and bring him into the beastfolk village. Therefore, she was currently naturally performing her "passenger seat" move.
Though, for Later, the beastfolk village itself was a furry fan trap, so he intended to visit regularly anyway.
"I see. Well, they say let the cute ones travel, so why not?"
"C-Cute...!"
As Later gave a half-hearted reply while captivated by the flowing mane of the shadow horse, everyone looked at him with dry eyes like Tibetan sand foxes, wondering if he had become naturally hard of hearing at this point. However, Kazuha was wriggling. Since her fluffy tail was thumping against the driver's seat, it was clear she was happy.
Now, the ones to cause a chemical reaction in this atmosphere that seemed capable of mass-producing sugar from the mouth were, as expected, the two idiots, Geoglyph and Marianne.
"Geo! Geo! I feel the vibrations of a rom-com!"
"Calm down, Marie. I haven't made the Jealousy Mask yet...!"
"I'll order it as soon as we return to the Imperial Capital! I'll create a terrorist organization for anti-couples!"
"Shall we become allies of love, justice, and jealousy together...!"
"The Jealousy Mask is the king of jealousy...!"
They're saying incomprehensible things again...
As the two idiots dove into their gag, Latia and Lilitia were left behind, but Geoglyph, sensing this, changed the subject to include them.
"Regardless, is it okay for you, Lilitia? It's a bit odd for the one who invited you to say this, but you have a position too, right?"
"Even though I'm called the Saint, it's mostly ceremonial. Actually, there isn't that much grand work. There are rituals I must attend, but those happen at fixed times every year, so it's easy to plan, and other than that, I'm quite free."
"Is it really okay for me to become an adventurer...?"
"If you joined a normal party, I think people from all over would complain, Big Sister. But this party is..."
Ah...
After all, they were a dangerous group that had slaughtered a herd of earth dragons and now possessed massive political and commercial backgrounds. No one could complain to their faces, and even if they tried a sneak attack, it was easy to imagine them being easily repelled.
Furthermore, since the title of Saint in the Refill Church was another name for a genius healing caster, it was recommended to sharpen their skills in actual combat rather than keeping them tucked away. For example, if a healing caster superior to Lilitia appeared, the title would change generations. Since a divine artifact was used for certification, it could be said that they were chosen by God in a sense, but for the reasons mentioned above, they were relatively mobile.
Because of this, Saints often accompanied combat-oriented professions like the military or adventurers, where injuries are frequent, and in the past, there were even active Saints who started their own adventurer parties and traveled through various countries.
"Actually, now that I remember, the heat has probably died down by now, right?"
"Ugh... well, we have been wandering around for two weeks...?"
Having touched upon their main profession as adventurers, the two idiots frowned as they remembered why they had to flee in the first place.
"Um, Big Sister... I think things have probably become quite serious. Especially for the Guild Master..."
According to Lilitia, who had first rushed to the Adventurers Guild to track Marianne, the Adventurers Guild... more accurately, the Guild Master, Dusk, was desperately searching for them, even scouring every blade of grass.
...Once we register the three of them as adventurers, maybe we should run away again.
The two idiots, feeling as if they had become wanted criminals, looked up at the traveling sky and thought... or perhaps they didn't.
●
Illuminated by a flickering candelabra, two figures emerged.
One was an elderly man. Clad in a reddish-black robe, his white hair was slicked back, and a sharp aquiline nose seemed to express the old man's nervousness.
The other was a woman of a certain age, also clad in a reddish-black robe, but wearing it loosely, shamelessly exposing her brown skin and the voluptuous body of a woman in her prime. Her intoxicated, moist eyes held a color of expectation.
"The preparations are coming along well, I would say."
"Yes. It has been long, hasn't it, sixteen years."
"The previous war ended just before reaching the required value. Honestly, the Triad did something unnecessary."
"But it was not in vain. The souls that died then are still in our hands."
At the old man's hateful words, the woman smiled and stroked her lips with her fingertip.
"Well, this time we'll involve them as part of the payback."
"Fufu. Just a little longer, then... the resurrection of the Evil God Delgamiride."
Within the writhing darkness, the bustle of a festival could be heard in the distance.
When that ends, it will begin again.
Consuming new dead, new souls... the Resurrection Festival of the Delgamiride Cult, their madness.
To be continued tomorrow.