58 - Episode 2: Does the True Ancestor Like Tomatoes? Part 2
"---Good grief. Why on earth am I doing this..."
At the rear of a group walking along the highway, a man muttered complaints to himself.
He was a man whose attire did not suit the sunlight in any way. Black top and bottom, with a black cloak. Gold thread was woven into the details, so the clothing seemed to have taken a fair amount of effort, but combined with his handsome yet gloomy complexion, he had a very suspicious appearance.
He seemed utterly exhausted, his ash-blonde long hair clinging to his back, and his purple eyes lacked focus, looking more like an abnormal status effect than something mysterious.
The man's name was Beosteral Gehardt.
He was an executive of the Delgamiride cult, which had caused a commotion the other day.
"I am a True Ancestor. Why am I doing something like this, acting like a common bandit..."
He was also a True Ancestor vampire---.
"Boss! I can see it!"
---However, for some reason, he was currently leading this group.
"Gah! I am not the boss! And you lot! You are supposed to be believers of the cult! Do you not feel ashamed to be acting like bandits!?"
"Even if you say that, you know. We were just picked up by the cult because we were struggling to eat."
"I can't believe they used the lives of believers for a ritual. ...I can't go along with such an elaborate suicide."
"We wanted to run, but the surroundings were too scary... No, it was much easier because the boss, an executive, was the first to flee and blast a hole through the way."
Originally, Beosteral had been wandering various regions for a certain purpose, and he joined the Delgamiride cult after being recruited by Basra, whom he met during his travels.
The power of the cult was unexpectedly convenient for securing food, clothing, shelter, and searching for his objective, and before he knew it, he had stayed for nearly ten years and had unknowingly become an executive.
Therefore, he had helped with that evil god summoning, but Beosteral, who had not been told that not only the souls collected for the summoning but also the soul of the caster would be used, noticed the specifications of the summoning circle just before the end and decided he couldn't deal with it, so he bolted. The believers, who had only stayed with the cult for the sake of their livelihood, took advantage of this and deserted as well.
However, having nowhere left to return to, they were attacking surrounding villages to secure food for the time being. Beosteral was making excuses in his heart, calling it an honorable requisition or acting like a bandit, but it was outright banditry.
"Yo! As expected of a vampire!"
"A pretend True Ancestor!"
"The boss who's great at escaping!"
"Are you lot praising me? Or insulting me?"
"I mean, since the boss also fled, doesn't that mean you didn't agree with the cult's doctrines?"
"Gunu... I, I knocked on their door seeking the power that was stolen from me! Would it not be backwards to die before reclaiming that power! Therefore, it was a strategic withdrawal... no! That was a repositioning! An honorable repositioning!!"
"Ehh..."
"Y-you lot!!"
As they proceeded along the highway, bickering like that.
"Boss, it's that village. Let's just steal some food and bolt."
"Still, Boss, instead of going through the trouble of threatening them first, wouldn't it have been better to just snatch it from the start? It'll be a pain if the lord is notified."
When the target village came into view, Beosteral let out a sigh of relief. However, when his subordinates looked at him, wondering why he had to do such a tedious thing, he narrowed his eyes.
"You! What we are about to take are the harvests that the farmers have painstakingly grown! While I am forced to steal them, would it not be too pitiful if we did not let them hide enough stores to last through the season! We are not wicked lords who pluck every last hair from someone's backside!?"
"What is with the Boss's strange goodness?"
"He's a vampire, but he doesn't drink blood and only eats tomatoes."
"No, I know the Boss is reasonably strong since he was an executive in the cult, but..."
"Shut up! For one, blood smells of iron and fish! Blood-sucking is the act of barbarians performed by inferior vampires! Tomatoes are the only offering fitting for me, a True Ancestor!!"
"Ehh..."
The subordinates cast bewildered glances at the vampire claiming to be a True Ancestor, who took a tomato from his pocket and munched on it.
Thus, the remnants of the Delgamiride cult---or rather, the bandits, entered the village to secure today's food. Thinking it would be a simple job of just threatening and stealing.
●
---However, as is common in this world, things do not go so smoothly.
"Stop right there!"
"Who goes there!?"
When Beosteral's group entered the village with a strangely polite "Good morning! We've come to take the vegetables as promised!!", they saw no one. While they were wondering about this, a voice called out from above, and Beosteral looked up.
"Using violence by relying on numbers against powerless commoners, what insolent fellows."
Looking up at the source of the voice---the roof of a house, there were three shadows with the setting sun behind them.
"People call that being heartless... they do."
Plink, plonk, as they leisurely played the lute, the shadows condemned the act Beosteral and his group were about to commit.
"Nuu! You wretches! Do you look down on me even knowing I am Beosteral Gehardt! Who are you!? State your names!!"
The three shadows, asked for their identity, made a gesture as if thinking for a moment.
"In terms of the bit, we have no names to give you! ---Or so I'd like to say, but since it's the first time, I'll introduce myself."
"If you ask who we are, I'll answer out of the kindness of my heart. Since the opponent introduced himself, I should return the courtesy with courtesy."
"To be honest, I've always wanted to try this kind of introductory speech. ---Here I go!"
The three shadows quickly took equal distance from each other and began to recite their introduction as if chanting loudly.
"One, to break the seriousness of people."
"Two, to live laughing loudly without looking back."
"Three, to cut down the despicable evil."
While reciting the counting song, the three shadows jumped down from the roof of the house.
"Carrying through love, courage, and self-righteousness."
"Three dashing fellows in a row."
"We are---"
Each struck a pose, and finally gathering together.
"Serious Breakers!!"
The three of them struck a pose together with explosion magic in the background, but---.
"M-my house---!?"
"Ah."
Behind them was the house they had jumped down from, which had been magnificently blown apart, caught in the production.
It goes without saying, but I will say it anyway.
It was the Three Idiots, Geo, Marie, and Ray.
Having received news of the Delgamiride cult's attack, the Three Idiots had stuck their noses in for the consistently trivial reason that "it sounds interesting!"
"W-what Serious Breakers! Stop fooling around! You lot! We have the advantage in numbers! Get them!! ---Curtain Bless!"
The surrounding people, regardless of whether they were allies or enemies, were stunned by that atrocity, or rather, that blunder, but Beosteral was the first to recover, and while giving instructions to his subordinates, he exercised the support magic he had secretly chanted while the idiots were being idiots.
The believers, covered in a black mist, received a buff and charged at the Three Idiots, raising the weapons in their hands.
However, they were just starving wretches after all.
"I know we did it ourselves, but thanks to the introduction, we don't have much time, so let's make this quick. ---Decode!"
"Gyaaaah!?"
They were easily scattered by the Geoglyph magic.
"Then it's my turn."
"Dowaaaaah!?"
Ray changed the Holy Scripture into a club that extended and contracted like a power pole, mowing down the fodder like weeds.
"I won't let you escape."
"Hieeeee!?"
Marianne used shadow beasts to drive them out, and it became a literal one-sided slaughter.
"Geo. We'll handle the capture and treatment of the bandits, so you can go ahead and clean up."
Furthermore, the three girls rushed over and captured the bandits one after another.
"Now then."
"The only one left is..."
"You, the boss."
Before he knew it, Beosteral was surrounded on three sides by the Three Idiots. He looked right, looked left, looked forward, and finally looked all around, falling silent upon realizing there were no allies.
"What!? Three against one...!? You wretches! To rely on numbers is cowardly! Are you not ashamed, you lot!!"
"You're the one who should say that!!"
Irritated by the words of the guy who had been relying on numbers, the Three Idiots delivered a full-power attack while delivering a retort.
"R-r-r-r-emember th-th-this!!"
Beosteral was blown high into the sky and disappeared over the other side of the mountain.
"..................Huh?"
However, the Three Idiots looked at their hands, unsatisfied with the sensation.
"Hey, Ray, Marie. Did you hold back?"
"Nah, Lilitia the Healer is here, so I swung intending to slash him reflexively as a retort."
"I also felt somewhat irritated, so I ordered them to bite him. Lilitia the Healer is here, too."
The three of them tilted their heads, wondering why he had flown away without taking much damage.
The Three Idiots had no way of knowing, but it was because Beosteral was a True Ancestor vampire.
Although he possessed a physical body, he was essentially a lifeform close to a spirit, so as long as the magic power accumulated through blood-sucking remained, he had an immortality that allowed him to continue regenerating. It is unknown why he, who hates blood-sucking, maintains that immortality.
Additionally, he had simply flown away exaggeratedly using wind magic to reduce the damage. It seems he messed up the output and flew further than planned.
Regardless, just as the Three Idiots turned around thinking the matter was settled---they witnessed the house they had blown up for the sake of the mood.
"Um, by the way, my house..."
"W-we will fix it..."
Being spoken to by the homeowner, the Three Idiots were forced to undertake the construction work for free with strained faces. Furthermore, this repair---or rather, almost a complete rebuild---ended up taking four full days.
As a side note, building it would have taken only one day, but the rest was because the Three Idiots, despite not being craftsmen, made it unnecessarily elaborate.
●
Meanwhile, as for the blown-away Beosteral.
"Curse you... Serious Breakers... I won't forgive you... I won't forgive you..."
In some unknown mountain, he was hanging upside down from the branch of a particularly tall cedar tree.
"Where the hell am I!?"
His scream only echoed through the night forest, and no one answered.