23 - Chapter 19: The Three Idiots on the Run, and the Care Along the Way
Long ago, back when I was driving route buses, there was a time on the last run of a midnight route where I was so incredibly sleepy that I checked the mirror to make sure there were no passengers and then held a solo karaoke contest to wake myself up, only to find out there actually was someone there. It is an embarrassing memory.
Under the cozy, pleasant sunlight, a single carriage traveled briskly along the highway. A slightly luxurious black-painted carriage, pulled by black-shadowed horses... it was the carriage steered by the Three Idiots. They had slowed down compared to when they were investigating, but they still continued to run at about 1.5 times the speed of an average carriage.
And from the driver's seat, a lute duet and a soulful singing voice flowed out.
"I want to cross... with youuu..."
Later, holding the reins, paused for a moment.
"Cross the Niyakandoooo!"
"If you cross that, you'll end up in the Republic of Alsard," Geoglyph, who had been playing the lute inside the carriage, interjected the moment the song ended.
"More importantly, the A-section of that song is far too ominous... especially in my current situation..."
Marianne, who also held a lute, muttered wearily. Geoglyph and Later looked at each other.
"If someone else is going to take you, would it be okay if I just killed you?"
"Hieee...!"
Geoglyph and Later gave a wry smile at Marianne, who was trembling in the shadow of the beautiful girl, Lilitia, who was in the midst of a glorious evolution into a crazy psycho-lesbian. They wanted to point and laugh out loud, but they couldn't laugh much because they felt like the damage might come back to them. Or rather, they knew that running away from a yandere was nothing but a bad move, but they couldn't think of a better plan.
Since they had plenty of free time on the road, they were taking turns as the driver and holding a karaoke contest, but... it was nothing more than escapism. Truly, the habits of former Japanese people are terrifying. As they say, "I'll do it tomorrow" is the motto of the Three Idiots.
"But man, Ray, your song choices are perfectly those of a truck driver," Geoglyph remarked.
"And you, Sensei, are perfectly full of SF. It's too much. Though the princess is surprisingly omnivorous in her tastes."
"Well, I also like things that make my heart go pitter-patter. Look, back in our childhood, otaku were persecuted, weren't they?"
"Ah... that did happen, the otaku bullying."
"I experienced it too... Upon entering high school, I made sure to keep up with the mainstream hits."
Nowadays, otaku have surprisingly gained civil rights, but following a certain series of young girl kidnapping and murder cases that occurred around the end of the Showa era, the public went on a massive otaku-bashing spree. Partly because the culprit had those kinds of hobbies, and partly because the genre was still immature, the otaku culture, which adults didn't understand much to begin with, entered a dark age.
Originally, the word "otaku" spread as a form of contempt and ridicule by ignorant adults—discriminators—referring to "those gloomy people who gather at Comiket." It could be said that the discriminatory feelings toward otaku, which existed even before the incident, were heated up by this event. In those days, there was a trend where it was okay to do or say anything to an otaku.
The ones who suffered were the otaku of the time who had absolutely nothing to do with the culprit. Manga, anime, and games were already looked down upon as childish, but on top of that, parents often took them away, saying, "You'll become a sex criminal like that guy!" And because their parents did so, discriminatory feelings toward otaku began to sprout among children around middle and high school, and those who were bullied at school were usually the introverted boys and girls with otaku hobbies.
Due to these circumstances, "hidden otaku" appeared—people who had otaku hobbies but hid them by keeping up with trendy songs they weren't interested in or dramas they didn't particularly like as a smokescreen. It seemed that not only Marianne, but Geoglyph and Later were of that sort as well.
"I didn't have friends I could call best friends that I could talk about anything with, and I didn't have many people to talk to about those things... except on the internet."
"Thinking about it, there are quite a few of us."
"By the time that work became popular, the dark age was already over and otaku were starting to gain civil rights, right?"
Furthermore, the reason these Three Idiots could play something like the lute was the influence of a band work with a four-character hiragana title. Regardless of whether it continued or not, there were likely many otaku who picked up a guitar at least once after seeing that work.
"I barely managed not to become a shut-in NEET, but due to the influence of the bullying, I was a 'childhood bedroom uncle' (T/N: an adult man who still lives in his childhood bedroom in his parents' house)... While I'm at the company, I wear a mask, so I can handle basic communication, but I still longed to talk about otaku things while sober."
That is why she finds it quite enjoyable now, Marianne said.
"What about truck drivers? Is it lonely after all?"
"Nah. I was driving while chatting on free calls with other employees I got along with, or even people from other companies in the same industry, so it wasn't that bad. In the old days, the inside of the car was a solo karaoke venue, but now we have hands-free and bone conduction."
The exchanges that were done via radio before the spread of mobile phones became easy now that there are smartphones. In exchange, talking on a handheld phone while driving became prohibited by road traffic laws, but with Bluetooth earphones and microphones, there is no trouble communicating.
Especially when long-haul drivers are running near each other, sharing information such as accidents or traffic jams is quite useful. There were times when they only found out via radio or electronic bulletin boards after getting stuck, and there are super-black transport companies that make you pay out of pocket for everything, even if it wasn't the driver's fault. Later also once got stuck in a large-scale accident jam and had to pay out of pocket for the delay damages. It's unthinkable in this day and age, but due to the effects of deregulation, such yakuza-like companies increased like bamboo shoots after rain.
"I really clashed with the company back then. If it were now, I'd run straight to the Labor Standards Inspection Office and change jobs," Later said with a distant look in his eyes, then suddenly thought of something.
"Come to think of it, the most mysterious one among us is Sensei. What were you doing in your previous life?"
"Hmm? Oh, I was a politician."
Geoglyph announced it so nonchalantly that a blank silence flowed for a moment.
"...Sensei, were you actually a 'sensei' (T/N: politicians are often addressed as sensei in Japan)?"
"Then, wouldn't it have become quite a big deal over there?"
"Well, I wonder. Even though I say politician, I was just a local prefectural assembly member. I think it might have appeared in the local papers, though."
I don't have parents and I've cut ties with my relatives, but since the position was what it was, I don't think I've turned into a skeleton yet, he said.
"Even so, why on earth did you become a politician, Sensei?"
"You see. When I was in middle school, I wanted to destroy democracy."
"Dangerous thoughts...!!"
Later and Marianne were terrified of Geoglyph, who suddenly started saying things like a terrorist.
"Well, it's a long story, so I'll skip it, but the more I studied, the more I felt the current system had reached a dead end. Roughly speaking, democracy is a system that aims for 'better' rather than 'best,' but now it's aiming too hard and the results are trending downward. To break through this, we had to update the values of the entire citizenry from the outdated ochlocracy known as democracy."
"You became suddenly suspicious with that last word, hey."
"I wonder why. I can understand the word, but I have a strange feeling of rejection toward that word..."
The one who was relatively the voice of reason among the Three Idiots might have been the worst kind of madman... Later and Marianne looked at each other.
"But well, I didn't have that much talent. If you try to destroy the current democracy, which has become as religious-smelling as Marx, and establish a new political system, the whole world becomes your enemy. Or rather, before that, the owners of Japan would physically shut me down. Well, in the end, it ended as a concept in my head. I tried my best, but I only made it to prefectural assembly member, and I couldn't build a base strong enough to move national politics. I was still a young politician... but then I died."
"I see... Because you had such dangerous thoughts (T/N: chuunibyou), you had a strangely arrogant attitude during the Earth Dragon battle, didn't you?"
At Marianne's question, Geoglyph began to sweat profusely, and after a while, he smoothly averted his eyes.
"...I have no memory of that."
"This guy really is a politician...!!"
"It's gone. I erased it. Such a dark history...! Oh, that's right! I drilled a hole into the hard disk of my memory...!"
Covering his face with both hands and ignoring the two's interjections, Geoglyph took a blanket from the luggage, wrapped himself in it, and shivered to endure the shame. Later asked him.
"Then, how is the politics of this Empire?"
"I have various complaints, but as long as the top is competent, I think it's fine. This applies to monarchies in general, but top-down is fast, for better or worse. I understood that well after experiencing it. Well, at least the current Emperor seemed competent, and since he's still young, I think the country will be peaceful as long as he's alive."
Geoglyph, poking only his face out from the blanket, evaluated it so.
As expected, since they had defeated the herd of Earth Dragons and even saved Imperial soldiers and refugees, the higher-ups of the Empire were forced to take action.
There was an audience, though they didn't know if it was a dinner to show appreciation or an interrogation like "Want to eat a katsudon?" Geoglyph attended alone, considering their positions. Whether by luck or misfortune, he had the opportunity to answer directly, and through that exchange, he sensed the Emperor's personality to some extent. The brief review based on that was that it would be peaceful internally for a while.
"Besides, I'm done with politics. It's a pain."
"Eh? Why is that? If you use your previous life's knowledge, couldn't you become an Iron-Blood Chancellor or a Super☆Lord?"
"What would I do if I became one? Being competent as that kind of person means simultaneously being cold-blooded and decisive to the point of having no blood or tears. In medieval values, giving only ambiguous answers like some politicians is proof of incompetence, and a lord who mistakes kindness for softness in their policies is the first to be eaten by someone. On the other hand, if you coldly cut people off because they lack competence, opposition will naturally arise, and you'll be hated from all sides. And unlike Japan in my previous life, assassination is an extremely realistic and common method here. I refuse to live a life trembling in fear of such things."
"Scary... the world of politics is super scary..."
"I'm fine being a commoner after all."
"Even as a commoner, as long as you have combat power, the upper class won't carelessly lay a hand on you, and you'll be respected. It's not exactly a deterrent, but when the destruction of riots is close and realistic, politicians and bureaucrats are less likely to be corrupt. No joke, their lives are on the line, so even doing evil takes a risk with their lives. Truly, might is right. We've reincarnated into a good world."
"Who do you think you are, the leader of some KING (T/N: likely a reference to a specific character or group)?"
"Is it truly the end of the century?"
While the Three Idiots were having a conversation using their usual previous life topics, they came out into an open area.
"...Oh. We've reached the Giant's Path."
"We have. Is it just a little further?"
"I hope the Elf-san is still there..."
It was a wasteland-like place where bloodstains from the washed-away Earth Dragons still remained, more like the aftermath of a battle, but the Three Idiots didn't care about that at all and looked toward the end of the giant canyon.
"Now, to the beastmen's village, Mahora!"
These Three Idiots are overflowing with desire, even in their destination for escape.
To be continued tomorrow.